Blog Archives - FordeFables

August 31st, 2013

31/8/2013

Thought for today:

"Oh heavenly sky with clouds that weave their ragged cloth across the lining of sol's backdrop; how serene looks thy sea below as rays from high stretch downwards to touch the wavy hair and morning face of blue waters deep. Smile forth your billowing clouds of secret blanket that conceals the treasure chest of thy cosmic vault. To be alone and watch such wonder is a precious moment never to be matched again; for it is to touch the flesh of angels that the sun shines brightly down and reveals your treasure to behold." William Forde: August 31st, 2013.

August 30th, 2013

30/8/2013

Thought for today:
"No middle-aged spread for this fine damsel after attending my Sheila's Yoga classes. It takes a woman who is able to multitask today to demonstrate the flexibility that is required to spread the load on a more equitable basis. Thanks to her sound management (sorry,womanagement), she may also have a bit of fun interspersed with her other daily duties. Come to think of it, as I was reminded recently, the time devoted to tasks are called 'man hours' for a very good reason: because any woman would finish the same task at hand in less than ten minutes!" William Forde : August 30th, 2013.

August 29th, 2013

29/8/2013

Thought for today:
"I feel for all those folk who live in high-rised flats and whose poor health and absence of family visits from one Christmas to the next makes them feel as though there is nobody out there who cares whether they live or die. I feel for all those times they cry alone without even the creature comforts of a dog or cat to embrace. I feel for those occasions they get cramp in bed and are unable to stand up to relieve it in time to prevent the worse of the pain. I cry when I think about the few times they may laugh and there is nobody else there to hear their mirth and share their humorous thought.

Nobody departs this life without leaving behind a past. However this person ended up here alone, they were probably once a loving sibling, partner, spouse or parent who may have been considered to be the life and soul of the party. Apart from an existence of increasing isolation and diminishing mobility, the only thing they are now guaranteed to feel daily is fear of where and 'how' it will all end, along with the added fear of whether or not they are destined to face their final moments alone.

If you have an elderly neighbour who lives alone, a quick visit to simply check that they are okay is all that is often required to convey to them the fact that 'someone knows that they are there and cares about them.' Better still, make them a cup of tea while you are there, have a brief chat and give them the opportunity to tell you about those pieces of information from their lives that obviously mean so much to them and which they otherwise might take to their graves without ever having expressed to another. William Forde : August 29th, 2013.

August 28th, 2013

28/8/2013

Thought for today:
"With all this glorious sun we have had this summer it was sad to hear about the many drownings that occurred by people taking a swim in some river to cool off. I know the arguments about the acute differences in temperature between the water on the surface of the water and a few inches beneath, and yet cannot help thinking, but wasn't it always thus? I never realised as a boy all those years ago, the dangers we obviously faced each time we swam in the River Calder or some works' dam in order to cool off during the hot summer months and although I never knew a person who did drown, I must confess that I did hear of a few such tragic accidents.

I recall each time that I holidayed back in County Waterford, Ireland, of spending many summer days skinny dipping in the river up Curraghmore where we all knew never to swim near a whirl pool there that had taken the lives of a number of people in the past. I also wonder about all the children of Third World countries who live, wash, work, fish and swim in their rivers; many of which are reportedly less clean or safer than ours are in England. Don't they face similar dangers to us here in the West or is it merely that we are not aware of prevailing dangers and they are?

Perhaps a part of it could be down to the low level of risk we are prepared to take today as opposed to a time and place where earlier death was a more common feature of one's life and if the waters didn't get you, the tigers, famine, low-grade gin, tuberculosis, consumption, coal dust or the slave-driving mill and factory owners did?" William Forde: August 28th, 2013.

August 27th, 2013

27/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Ladies, whatever have you done with your hair? Do you remember seeing all the ladies between the 1930's and the 1960's in a headscarf in all manner of place; in the factory or at home concealing a head of curlers and paper ribbons etc? I can also recall as a young boy, never seeing a male in church with his hat on or a woman without some head covering her crown of glory. Today, one experiences all manner of hue and cry on the high street of fashion as pink, purple and two-toned skulls walk the pathways looking like a Saturday night outing by a group of zombies. Look closer towards the root of problem however, and you will be able to detect those natural grey hairs struggling to breathe from beneath all the toner, hair dye and lacquer that is more commonly applied as routine maintenance. It has always puzzled me, that given all the rubbish chemicals and coloured potions which ladies apply to their crowns, why women aren't the ones to go bald as a general rule instead of the chaps.

There again, women have always been able to kid the chaps. Take the war years for instance; see how the men were led on by a cleverly drawn line from thigh to foot in the perfect disguise of sheer silk stockings. Picture the scene. It’s Saturday night in 1941, and you want to wear stockings with your going-out dress, but you don't look the part from the thighs down. The new wonder material nylon has been rationed for the war effort and has disappeared from department store shelves. What do you do in such times of patriotic privation? You have no nylon stockings and you are not prepared to pay a Yankee soldier the Burnley going rate for a pair of silk ones? You get resourceful and draw a stocking seam with an eyebrow pencil; a task that was always easier with the help of a friend.

No, the fairer sex have always been capable of pulling the wool over the eyes of their menfolk, whether it's padding their bras or penciling their long legs; until of course some poor drunken chap actually tries to remove such garments from the body of his fair lady. Perhaps all women wear wigs and none of their chaps ever notice as we continue to live out our marital lives in blissful ignorance! Well, think about it chaps. when was the last time you ever tried to pull the hair off your woman's head? Never, I bet!" William Forde: August 27th, 2013.

August 26th, 2013

26/8/2013

Thought for today:
"I write of things in my secret book that no one would believe if I told them. I write my most secret thoughts, both good and bad and some of the body feelings that I cannot yet understand. My diary is my imaginary friend who will never lie to me or tell me anything that I do not wish to hear yet will always accept unquestioningly what I tell it. My diary will never impose its thoughts on me as I am able to open and close it at will. I can even change my mind today about something I thought yesterday and if I don't feel like picking up my pencil and instead pick daisies, my diary will not be offended. It will understand. When I write something that on reflection shouldn't have been expressed, I can simply take it back by crossing it out. I love my diary." William Forde: August 26th, 2013.

August 25th, 2013

25/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Having practised Relaxation Training for the past sixty years and instructed it for fifty years, it is one discipline of life that I am fully acquainted with. Relaxation is a necessity for everyone in life. It directs purpose of action, increases body energy and longevity of life by improving the quality of sleep we experience; it improves health, memory, performance, decision making, looks and all manner of coping mechanisms. Most important of all, it allows one to 'take time out' during stressful parts of the day. The simple rule that governs the ratio of need is, the higher the ladder one climbs in their life, the more they need the benefits of relaxation to help bring them back down to earth at the end of the day.

In the event that you find it hard to relax, your blood pressure levels are consistently too high or you experience great difficulty in getting off to sleep on a night or getting a good quality of sleep, please feel welcome to freely download a relaxation tape from my website entitled, 'Relax with Bill' that I specially arranged and produced forty years ago and which since, over 5,000 people have been given free tapes. Practice ideally for twice a day for one month; making your last practise of the day the time you retire to bed and are ready for going to sleep. If you can only practise once a day, then it is better to make it immediately before sleep.

CONTRA INDICATIONS : DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS TAPE WHILST DRIVING OR PERFORMING ANY OTHER PRECISION ACTION, OR IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO CONSISTENTLY HAVE VERY LOW BLOOD PRESSURE LEVELS, OR IF YOU ARE PREGNANT OR SUFFER ANY FORM OF BRAIN DAMAGE." William Forde: August 25th, 2013.
01_relaxation_with_bill.mp3

August 24th, 2013

24/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Life is too short to stay a sour puss for a moment longer than is necessary. If you approach your milk expecting a sour taste, then don't be too surprised when you get one. Stay sour and you will never enjoy the cream of life. There is nothing that is either 'good' or 'bad' in this world that thinking it so will not make it so!" William Forde: August 24th, 2013.

August 23rd, 2013

24/8/2013

Thought for today:
"When a friend or loved-one dies, they often request 'no flowers' and instead ask for donations towards some charitable cause. Many of us would want to have some other small and more lasting reminder of them during the years ahead and as in life and death, both passages can be celebrated simultaneously.

Given the rapid deforestation of the rain forest and the negative impact that cutting down so many of our trees has upon the planet, why not plant a tree of remembrance instead? How more fitting could it possibly be for both departed and bereaved during the century ahead, than to have an orchard of 'family-tree-faces' to refer to. Do this and the bereaved person could look upon this unique gift to nature in the certain knowledge that the death of their loved-one is still contributing to the world they loved and left. Not only would they no longer take oxygen from the atmosphere of this life, but through their tree of remembrance they would eventually 'put back into the atmosphere' all of the oxygen that they had taken from it when they lived. What a wonderful way to give something back to the earth that sustained you in life for so many years." William Forde : August 23rd, 2013.

August 22th, 2013

22/8/2013

Thought or today:
"Of all the activities which I've always planned to one day do, with the exception of a mere twice, fishing has so far escaped my net. When I think about the peace and serenity to be had and of the leisurely wait for the fish to take my bait, I am tempted to nip out to the angling shop this instance and purchase the necessary equipment. The dog comes at an extra cost, but she makes a good retriever of the catch, I understand.

At the age of 21 years, I worked in a Toronto hotel with Ron. It was he who first took me out fishing and showed me another world devoid of all manner of stress. Ron was a twice-divorced man with two addictions; neither of which included the payment of alimony to his ex wives. He was a gambler and an entrenched alcoholic. His pattern of work involved working double shifts until he could save enough to place a $1,000 bet on the horses (approximately ten weeks wages with tips in 1963). If he lost, he worked double shifts for another two months until he could place another $1,000 wager. But when he won, he would stock up with drink and a backpack of canned food, fill up his old Ford station wagon with a tank of gas and head off to the mountains for four weeks to fish and drink and drink and fish. He used to drink so much that he'd hold conversations with all manner of pond life. He would return to his work when the money and alcohol had run out and the time had arrived for him once more to 'dry out.' Paradoxically; until he went fishing again, not one drop of alcohol would pass his lips. This pattern of life had apparently continued as it had then done for many years.

I once asked Ron,'But aren't you lonely up there in those wild hills and valleys with nobody but the fish to talk to?' He replied,'You'd be surprised, Bill, how informative fish can be and how few arguments you get into when you only have yourself and the fish to argue with.' He loved his pattern of life and who was I to say whether or not it was the best life for him or not? " William Forde : August 22th, 2013.

August 21st, 2013.

21/8/2013

Thought for today:
"There is a time when it does one good and gives enormous satisfaction to 'stick out one's tongue at life.' There are also other occasions though when the wise thing one can do is 'to bite it' and let sleeping dogs lie. There are times too when one could willingly and quiet easily turn one's back on life. Such times are better resisted. I always find that if you have an itch, it disappears faster if you scratch it rather than ignore it and when all else around seems to suggest that 'the chips are not presently falling your way', that's the best time to dance the blues away!" William Forde: August 21st, 2013.

August 20th, 2013

21/8/2013

Thought for today:
"As a society, we do tend to operate on first impressions and have preconceptions about most situations that we are about to enter. My mother used to tell me as a child, 'Always polish your shoes, Billy. You can always tell a gentleman by his polished footwear.'

Well let me tell you, though she was usually known as a woman to be accurate in her judgement that she could not have been more wrong in her belief. During my 25 years as a Probation Officer, I discovered that the most perfectly cleaned and highly polished of all footwear were to be found on the feet of murderers, rapists, arsonists and paedophiles. In fact, I don’t recall ever having met any person from these four offending groups, who’d dare to venture out towards their prey unless they were assured in their own minds that they’d be able to see the reflection of their victims in their shiny leather-uppers during the commission of their horrible crimes. The same principle applies to dress, hair or indeed any other visible trait that is so often used as a short cut to define a person's likely character.

So there we have it. Short skirts don't make sluts 'asking for it' and long, spiky hair don't make monsters 'ready to dish it out' to anyone who comes their way. Incidentally; the little-girl smiles that some little devils wear don't always denote an angelic presence either; and isn't it strange how the women of the world are able to keep those 'little-girl smiles' from childhood to the grave as part of their armoury in their War of the Roses with the opposite sex? " William Forde: August 20th, 2013.

August 19th, 2013

19/8/2013

Thought for today:
"I wish my Sheila would get her ears washed out. I'm not sure if she's deliberately ignoring me or simply mishearing me. I asked for 'a roll in the hay'; not for her 'to roll in the hay', up sticks and take her bat home. That's not cricket now, is it?" August 19th, 2013.

August 18th, 2013.

18/8/2013

Thought for today:
"I was born in 1942, the eldest of seven children and though the material circumstances of my early development were poor, my memory never has been. I remember well the first nutritious drink of the day being a child-sized free bottle of milk that the government used to give me at school every morning. I remember the first pair of black shoes I ever wore and although second hand, I was quickly taught by my mother how to make them shine until they reflected my face.

I remember school diners with sago pudding which we patternised in streaks of jam before we dare digest it. I soon learned that those at the top of the table were the ones who served and they got the biggest portions. Being taught in a strict Roman Catholic School, I learnt that God (who was 'absolute'), made the world and everything in it, but during the school day our Headmaster, Mr Armitage decided what information was stuffed inside our heads our heads and made all other rules that governed our conduct.

I can remember my first pair of long trousers, the first bicycle I owned, my first prayer, the first poem I recited and the first song I sung publicly, my first kiss, my first job and my first foray into the secret life of adult pleasures. And yet throughout such learning and memories, I recall that prayer always started and ended my day.

Today as a writer, I frequently write about the things that my late mother could remember about her upbringing and which she would often tell us about whenever we complained that 'life was hard.' If we complained about walking half a mile to the shop for a bottle of milk, she would instantly tell us how she used to walk a return journey of six miles daily to get her milk before she got ready for school. Whatever we experienced, however hard or unpleasant was the task, I was soon to learn that she'd experienced far worse 'with knobs on!'

My late father was a miner for a dozen years between the Second World War and the 1950's and until recently, I'd forgotten all about my mother's tales of the street 'Knocker upper' that the miners used to have during the late 1940's to ensure that they didn't sleep in and got to work on time. The 'Knocker upper' would always seem to take it personally if he was unable to rise someone and as he rapped harder and harder on the window pane, he'd yell in a language that all understood, 'Aren't having none of this morning's sleepy eyed.' Those men who worked below ground at the pit face and who arrived after the pit shaft had descended below ground to start their shift would either be sent back home 'without pay' or be allocated a pit-surface job of lesser wage level. I remember the day my father came home and told my mother that the pit was on strike. My mother's reply was, 'But how will I feed the young ones, Paddy?'' The day later my father was the only man at the pit to walk across the picket line. It broke his heart to not join his working comrades, but he put his wife and family first. I do not think that I could ever have displayed such guts. I will always remember the wry smile on his face, when on my 18th birthday, he opened a national newspaper to read about me being elected the youngest textile shop steward in Great Britain. These are just a few of the things I remember and shall never forget." William Forde: August 18th, 2013.

August 17th,2013

17/8/2013

Thought for today:
"When life becomes too gloomy to see beyond one's present predicament, you could do much worse than to call upon the listening ear of a trusting friend to unburden or share your load.

When your day has been filled with heart-wrenching decisions that you needed to make, your best company can more often be found in a walk with yourself and a conversation with your own thoughts.

When doubt and fear nag you and threaten to derail the things you know that need to and should be done, think about past successes and press ahead with the beacon of hope, believing in yourself and what you must do.

When the day is done and eternal darkness looms above your bed, pray and trust in your Maker to light up your passage on your final journey and to bring you back home once more for you are a child of God." William Forde: August 17th, 2013.

August 16th, 2013

16/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Weekend is upon us once more. Despite having been retired for many years now, one might think that being at home from work every day would make one day significantly no different than any other day; but they'd be gravely wrong to think so. I retired at the early age of 53 years, and can honestly say that the two emotions I've never experienced have been 'boredom' or 'depression'. For one thing, I have so many things to do that I wouldn't have time to be bored if I wanted to; and as for depression, I pretty well guess that I'm just too selfish a person to ever become depressed as I love being happy too much to ever give it up for something else wholly unhealthy and unhelpful.

And yet, I love Fridays. It is the day when Sheila and I go ten-pin bowling. She invariably wins these days, but it makes me feel so good to see my wife so happy. Fridays are pleasurable beyond imagination. It is as though I receive advance permission from the Irish 'little people' to sleep in on a Saturday morning and not feel guilty for having done so! Yippee! Thank God it's Friday and I can lie in tomorrow with my sweet lady and not feel bad about such wanton idleness. Thank God it's Friday again as I eat my nourishing porridge yet know that the next day is the one day of the week when I will treat myself to a hearty breakfast of nourishing porridge......and....bacon, eggs, mushrooms, beans, pork sausages, toast and jam! And because our dog, 'Lady' always gets her Saturday morning treat of my sausage and bacon-ends along with a decent portion of my egg white, even she has a built-in canine calender that tells her when Saturday arrives. Perhaps it's the happy look of gastronomic delight on my face as I wake up in bed; or perhaps it might also be the expectation of the interminable romantic in me?" William Forde: August 16th, 2013.

August 15th,2013

15/8/2013

Thought for today:
"There is a place I go to think about my life; the things I've done, those things I couldn't and the things I hope to do before I die and occupy the other side of the green sod. My secret place is in the recess of my mind and is accessible only through the key of meditation and deep relaxation. It is a place of total peace; a place close to nature and God and to all manner of things spiritual. When there, I am apart from the material world and cannot be touched or influenced by any other person or thing. Everyone needs their own special place in which to seek refuge of the soul and a bed to rest the mind. Without such back-up the body cannot recuperate and be restored to peaceful health and equilibrium." William Forde: August 15th, 2013.

August 14th, 2013

14/8/2013

Thought for today:
"In life, there comes a time to resist and a time to fight, a time to forgive and a time to forget; a time live and a time to die. When the time for the bereaved comes to 'let go' of their grief, I have often been told that a good way to symbolise the 'letting go' which the bereaved body requires in order to be restored to full health once more, is to release a balloon into the heavens with a prayer attached to it. The mere act of letting go of the string is physiologically as significant as releasing the umbilical cord of life to which the living person still remains mentally bound to the deceased. " William Forde: August 14th, 2013.

August 13th, 2013

14/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Shakespeare once said that 'a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.' I immediately think of the bard's words whenever mice come to mind. I dislike rats, and cannot profess to be enamoured by mice and yet, if one prefixes mice with either 'church' or 'field,' it's as though some magical transformation of the species is allowed to take place in one's overall range of sensory responses. Somehow they instantly become more appealing to think about and less offensive to one's sensibilities. I ask you; find me one of those delicate members of either sex who, at the sight of a mouse, will stand on high and scream at the top of their voice and shriek until the vermin is found and is instantly dispatched; nay, even flattened: find me one such shrieker and show them sweet Benjamin. I bet they'd cuddle him as soon as have him clobbered or put him in the mouse- trap wrack?" William Forde: August 13th, 2013.

August 12th, 2013 : The Glorious 12th

12/8/2013

Thought for today:
"You may or may not be pleased to be reminded that today is 'The Glorious Twelfth;' that day of the year when you may shoot for the Red Grouse.
I don't know about you, but I reckon that lots of common folk couldn't care less. I refer to folk, who through no fault of their own, find themselves without security of tenure and where the prospect of ever owning a house, however humble it may be, is nowt but a pipe dream. There are so many people out there today living on the 'bread line' with insufficient of the basic necessities; people dependent upon the charity of food banks to feed their loved ones, people who are unable to afford adequate heating of their home in cold spells or have gainful work with which to occupy themselves and regain their self respect as independent providers. They haven't had anything to feel 'glorious' about for a long time now.
David Cameron may like to proclaim that, 'We are all in this together'. Tell that to the bird killers of the moors and the glens who walk, snort and shoot as their path continues to be beaten for them by their low-paid servants; many of whom still occupy tied-cottages and display the shadows of servitude around their ankles, as did the slaves of old in the cotton plantations of Jamaica and The West Indies and the servants and skullery maids of the English manor who remained in 'Service' from youth to old age. " William Forde: August 12th, 2013.

August 11th, 2013: Will's and Peter's birthday

11/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Today is a double celebration for my family; it is the birthday of my 30-year-old son, William and my younger brother Peter who is approaching retirement age. My brother Peter will always command my respect for having always held fast to his principles in his field of work as an educational psychologist instead of taking the easier road towards job promotion.

My son William, who earned my respect many years ago, needed to establish his own distinctive identity when he reached manhood. Gradually, he encouraged himself to be known as 'Will'. Today, son, as well as your Uncle Peter, you also share your birthday with the American writer Alex Haley, a favourite writer of mine. I remember his blockbuster book entitled, 'Roots' which followed an enslaved family through generations of serfdom and servitude until they were declared 'free men.'

For your 30th birthday present son, I rename you 'William.' It is a good name, a name of kings, conquerors, playwrights, kaisers, princes etc.etc. It was the name of your great, great grandfather who gave it to his eldest son,(Grandfather William Fanning),who gave it to his eldest son,(Uncle William Fanning). When I was born the eldest of seven siblings, I was given the name of my mother's father and brother, William. When you were born, you were given my name as the oldest child to my second marriage. Hopefully, I shall live to see your first male child. I wonder what name he shall be given? Happy birthday brother Peter and son, William. I love you both.

As Alex Haley 'might' have said, had he thought of it first, 'Remain true to self and never forget your roots, for when the rest of the ground beneath your feet becomes too unsettled and threatens to erupt, it is your values, your name and your family roots that will sustain you and keep you anchored to all that is good.' xxx" William Forde: August 11th, 2013.

August 10th, 2013

11/8/2013

Thought for today:
"We learn that the only person who could ever keep the children of the Victorian age in line was the presence of a displeased or angry father on the scene. Invariably, the only threat that mothers between 1850 and 1950 would ever need to issue to their 'out of hand' offspring was, 'Just you wait until your dad gets home. He'll sort you out.' These few words were usually enough to bring the youngsters back into line and make them carry bricks around in their pants all day long as they anxiously awaited their father's homecoming and displeasure. Isn't it strange that angry actions, words and looks can frighten any child, but whatever stupid face their father or mother pulls at them in any manner of circumstance, they instantly see the funny side.

It is good to occasionally stick out one's tongue at life! When I used to run Assertive Training courses, my very first request of group members was to look at their neighbour and stick out their tongue. The ones who couldn't were asked, 'How do you possibly expect me to help you change your behaviour if you cannot stick out your tongue at life?' They invariably got the message that being able to laugh at life and life's circumstances is as important at being able to cry at life during moments of sadness and loss. It is also a prelude to being able to laugh at self, besides not taking life too damn seriously all the time!" William Forde: August 10th, 2013.

August 9th, 2013.

9/8/2013

Thought for today:
"The maturing of a vintage love tastes so sweet once uncorked. How wonderful to see a couple as much in love with each other today as they were when they first fell in love and married over sixty-five years ago. It is the splendour of such sights that makes the pursuit of finding one's happiness in the arms of another, the goal of all lovers. What else but such a romantic prize could ever risk the forfeiture of one's heart, than the possible securing of the heart of another? To bestow all your love willingly and receive in return more love than you originally gave, is but simple proof that true love truly grows with the pulsation of each heart beat, the emergence of every magic moment, all day and the passing of every day until the end of time." William Forde: August 9th, 2013.

August 8th, 2013.

9/8/2013

Thought for today:
"Should you ever have the good fortune to fall in love with and marry a good woman who loves you, but who also loved her deceased husband, please learn that in such circumstances it takes 'a big man' to walk successfully in the footsteps of the good man who preceded him. It should never present either threat or competition that in the cricket match of life, he opened before you on the field of play nor ought his inherent goodness ever be measured, compared or contrasted against yours, as any comparison could never represent 'like for like' or detract from each other's intrinsic worth as individuals or partners. Though you will seek to make your own path in life with your new bride, there is bound to be occasion when past memories will intrude upon current bliss. That is why there can never be any more wholesome way to live which produces the greatest profit of emotions than to live for the moment and allow the past to respectfully remain so." William Forde: August 8th, 2013.

August 7th, 2013

8/8/2013

Thought for today:
"If your marriage has got a bit too routine and you would like to try and spice it back up, then take my advice. It makes a lot of sense to down tools or whatever else one normally does on a day when the sun is shining and the fish are jumping, and take your good lady out on a fishing expedition. Who knows what this generous and thoughtful gesture might land you during the nights and nights ahead? Why, even I know that we all need to throw out a trout to catch a salmon when the fish aren't biting!" William Forde: August 7th, 2013.