Chapter Two
'The birth of Joe Walsh'
After Thomas Walsh secured his appointment as Headmaster in the Portlaw school, he and his wife moved from their home in Connemara and bought a thatched cottage property on the Waterford Road. While he realised that Margaret would continue to perform her wifely duties and not deny him access to the marriage bed whenever he wished it, he couldn't force her to love him as she once had done or prevent her recoiling at his merest touch during moments of sexual intimacy. Thomas gradually came to realise that he and Margaret were married in name only.
Thomas knew that it was only the place and the times, allied to his wife’s Catholicism and desire not to alienate herself from her parents that had ruled out the possibility of her seeking a divorce. Besides, his very position as Headmaster would have been under great threat had rumours of a shaky marriage ever got out, particularly with the Governing Body of the Catholic School.
Thomas knew that it was only the place and the times, allied to his wife’s Catholicism and desire not to alienate herself from her parents that had ruled out the possibility of her seeking a divorce. Besides, his very position as Headmaster would have been under great threat had rumours of a shaky marriage ever got out, particularly with the Governing Body of the Catholic School.
While there had been no repetition of the earlier violence and brutality that Thomas Walsh had physically demonstrated to his wife in Connemara, he nevertheless ruled his household with a rod of steel and Margaret always believed that the threat of a physical beating always loomed in the background of any argument they ever had. And even though he refrained from physically attacking her, as far as Margaret was concerned, one form of cruelty had simply been exchanged by another.
Instead of physically beating his wife, Thomas Walsh beat her in every other way possible! His relentless pursuit of 'putting her down' eventually seemed to threaten her very sanity.
He kept her deprived of the many privileges that the wife of a Headmaster might have been accustomed to expect. Instead of encouraging his wife to mix more readily within the most respectable parts of the community as he'd once often urged her when they'd lived in Connemara, he now frowned upon such contact outside the home and simply forbade it. He was effectively, imprisoning her within the four walls of the matrimonial home during his absence at school.
The extent of his controlling nature stretched as far as forbidding her to correspond with her parents in Connemara or visiting them without his presence at her side.
Instead of physically beating his wife, Thomas Walsh beat her in every other way possible! His relentless pursuit of 'putting her down' eventually seemed to threaten her very sanity.
He kept her deprived of the many privileges that the wife of a Headmaster might have been accustomed to expect. Instead of encouraging his wife to mix more readily within the most respectable parts of the community as he'd once often urged her when they'd lived in Connemara, he now frowned upon such contact outside the home and simply forbade it. He was effectively, imprisoning her within the four walls of the matrimonial home during his absence at school.
The extent of his controlling nature stretched as far as forbidding her to correspond with her parents in Connemara or visiting them without his presence at her side.
If ever anything in the home wasn’t up to his high standards or didn’t fully meet with his expectations, then like the pupils in his school who erred, he gave her ‘six of the best’. He had this peculiar effeminate stance, which he'd adopted with his pupils before chastising them. This involved placing both hands on the sides of his waist and after a providing a gripping stare, he'd give them a piece of his mind, followed by six of the best from the swish of his cane. Whenever Margaret saw her husband's hands firmly gripping his waist, she knew that she was in for it and started to shake involuntarily.
He beat her psychologically by constantly ‘putting her down’ and calling her ‘stupid’. Indeed, he called her ‘stupid’ so often, that within a short space of time, Margaret even started to consider the possibility of actually being ‘stupid’.
When verbal punishment seemed insufficient and he wanted to hurt his wife more deeply than the cursory oral wound, these were the times he would mentally abuse and psychologically torture her. He would specifically ask that she do this or that and when she complied with his orders, he would then alter his instruction, simply saying that he’d changed his mind without providing her with any cause or reason.
Then there were those times when he tried to make poor Margaret believe that she was actually going insane. For instance, he would purposely ask his wife to cook him colcannon, sausages and cabbage for his evening meal and 'because she was a stupid wife who couldn't follow the simplest of instructions', and just to make sure that she didn’t forget what he wanted to eat that evening, he would write out a note that specifically reminded her:
(1) Colcannon
(2) Sausages
(3) Cabbage.
Then he would seal the note in an envelope and place it on shelf over the fire place.
He beat her psychologically by constantly ‘putting her down’ and calling her ‘stupid’. Indeed, he called her ‘stupid’ so often, that within a short space of time, Margaret even started to consider the possibility of actually being ‘stupid’.
When verbal punishment seemed insufficient and he wanted to hurt his wife more deeply than the cursory oral wound, these were the times he would mentally abuse and psychologically torture her. He would specifically ask that she do this or that and when she complied with his orders, he would then alter his instruction, simply saying that he’d changed his mind without providing her with any cause or reason.
Then there were those times when he tried to make poor Margaret believe that she was actually going insane. For instance, he would purposely ask his wife to cook him colcannon, sausages and cabbage for his evening meal and 'because she was a stupid wife who couldn't follow the simplest of instructions', and just to make sure that she didn’t forget what he wanted to eat that evening, he would write out a note that specifically reminded her:
(1) Colcannon
(2) Sausages
(3) Cabbage.
Then he would seal the note in an envelope and place it on shelf over the fire place.
That evening when he came home, his wife would duly present him with a meal of colcannon, sausages and cabbage as requested earlier. Upon seeing this meal, he would go wild and start screaming hysterically and shouting obscenities at his wife.
“You.... you stupid, stupid woman. You... you thicko! Why, you’re dumber than the worse dunce in year seven. I told you that I wanted steak, chips and peas for my evening meal this morning when I left for school. I even left you a note you stupid woman, just so you wouldn’t forget. Now take this rubbish away and this time, bring me what I asked for!”
Often, he'd invariably conclude his rant by throwing the plate containing his evening meal against the wall in a fit of enragement.
“But......but...I did cook what you asked for! If you don’t believe me, then go look at the note. It’s still inside the sealed envelope on the fire place, unopened,” his wife would vehemently protest.
“Are you calling me a liar, you stupid woman?” he yelled back at her.
Margaret did the only thing that she could do to prove her innocence in this matter, so she brought her husband the unopened envelope and asked him to read it.
Her husband snatched the envelope from his wife’s trembling hand and after tearing it open in her presence, read it. Then holding the back of his hand up in a threatening gesture, he yelled, “You stupid, stupid woman. If this doesn’t confirm your stupidity than God only knows what will. Now, get me what I asked for this morning! Get me the steak, chips and peas!”
Poor Margaret couldn’t fathom what was going on as he thrust the written note back in her hand. On the note that he’d just taken out of the sealed envelope in front of her was clearly written the words:
(1) Steak
(2) Chips
(3) Peas
“But, I could have sworn you said............colcannon, sausage and cabbage!” Margaret said in a shaky voice.
“Well, now you know I didn’t, you stupid woman. So get cracking before I go off the idea of eating a meal completely,” Thomas mouthed scathingly.
Unknown to Margaret, her husband had written out two letters which had been sealed in the same type of envelope that morning. When he arrived home on the evening in question after finishing his school day, it was a relatively simple task for him to check if his wife had opened his original letter of cooking instructions and if not, exchange it with his second sealed letter requesting steak, chips and peas. In the event of him finding his morning letter opened, he would have simply opened his second letter and then exchanged it with the first letter above the fire place!
“You.... you stupid, stupid woman. You... you thicko! Why, you’re dumber than the worse dunce in year seven. I told you that I wanted steak, chips and peas for my evening meal this morning when I left for school. I even left you a note you stupid woman, just so you wouldn’t forget. Now take this rubbish away and this time, bring me what I asked for!”
Often, he'd invariably conclude his rant by throwing the plate containing his evening meal against the wall in a fit of enragement.
“But......but...I did cook what you asked for! If you don’t believe me, then go look at the note. It’s still inside the sealed envelope on the fire place, unopened,” his wife would vehemently protest.
“Are you calling me a liar, you stupid woman?” he yelled back at her.
Margaret did the only thing that she could do to prove her innocence in this matter, so she brought her husband the unopened envelope and asked him to read it.
Her husband snatched the envelope from his wife’s trembling hand and after tearing it open in her presence, read it. Then holding the back of his hand up in a threatening gesture, he yelled, “You stupid, stupid woman. If this doesn’t confirm your stupidity than God only knows what will. Now, get me what I asked for this morning! Get me the steak, chips and peas!”
Poor Margaret couldn’t fathom what was going on as he thrust the written note back in her hand. On the note that he’d just taken out of the sealed envelope in front of her was clearly written the words:
(1) Steak
(2) Chips
(3) Peas
“But, I could have sworn you said............colcannon, sausage and cabbage!” Margaret said in a shaky voice.
“Well, now you know I didn’t, you stupid woman. So get cracking before I go off the idea of eating a meal completely,” Thomas mouthed scathingly.
Unknown to Margaret, her husband had written out two letters which had been sealed in the same type of envelope that morning. When he arrived home on the evening in question after finishing his school day, it was a relatively simple task for him to check if his wife had opened his original letter of cooking instructions and if not, exchange it with his second sealed letter requesting steak, chips and peas. In the event of him finding his morning letter opened, he would have simply opened his second letter and then exchanged it with the first letter above the fire place!
XXXXX
Although their marital relationship rapidly deteriorated during their early years in Portlaw, Thomas Walsh never thought twice about demanding what he regarded as his marital rights in the bedroom from time to time when the urge took him. Such contact between man and wife was always complied with by Margaret, with the obvious exception of times when she had her menstrual cycles. Even during such unsuitable times, Thomas Walsh might still insist on having his way with his wife.
On those times when he demanded his husbandly rights, although Margaret would reluctantly comply, she invariably wept during the act. Whenever he heard her sobbing, he would often muffle the sound of her audible pain by placing his hand over her mouth as he climaxed.
However, since that day he’d physically assaulted her in their Connemara home, Margaret had never felt safe or the least part sexy in his presence ever again. Indeed, had truth been known by him how much she despised him, Thomas Walsh could never have lowered himself to make love with any woman who held him in such loathing and contempt. No man worthy of the title ‘man’ who possessed an ounce of self-respect could possibly have inflicted his person upon a wife who literally recoiled at his very touch and who ran to the bathroom to be sick after intimate contact had taken place between them.
In April, 1953, one year after coming to take up his post as Headmaster in Portlaw, Margaret Walsh was duly informed by her doctor whom she’d visited that she was almost two months pregnant with her first child. Having always been irregular with her periods, she would frequently miss a month, sometimes even two. While she was clearly unhappy in her union with Thomas Walsh, Margaret viewed that having a baby to care for would give her an added purpose within her marriage as well as providing her with a necessary distraction from it.
Margaret was therefore reasonably happy to find out that she was indeed pregnant, but any initial happiness she had allowed herself to feel at the prospect of 'motherhood' gradually turned to fear. What should have been the happiest of happy occasions for a young wife to learn of had left Margaret confused and very worried about her husband's reaction upon being told.
While the couple had never used contraception and should therefore have been alert to the possibility and likelihood of a child being born if Thomas did not withdraw in time, a child had not been planned by either of them.
“Will he welcome the prospect?” Margaret asked herself. “Who knows............it might be the kind of fresh start that we both need. Starting a family could perhaps provide us with the opportunity to make a go of it?”
One moment, Margaret considered any positive things to come out of a pregnancy before turning her mind back to any possible negative aspects. Then she started to fear that Thomas might not want a child in their life yet and would therefore be far from pleased to learn of the prospect.
Three days passed by before Margaret Walsh summoned up the courage to tell her husband that she was pregnant with their first child. Upon hearing the news, he exploded in fury. He was incandescent with rage.
"You know I didn't want a child yet!" he screamed at her. "This.........this is just the wrong time to have a little brat!"
Margaret was therefore reasonably happy to find out that she was indeed pregnant, but any initial happiness she had allowed herself to feel at the prospect of 'motherhood' gradually turned to fear. What should have been the happiest of happy occasions for a young wife to learn of had left Margaret confused and very worried about her husband's reaction upon being told.
While the couple had never used contraception and should therefore have been alert to the possibility and likelihood of a child being born if Thomas did not withdraw in time, a child had not been planned by either of them.
“Will he welcome the prospect?” Margaret asked herself. “Who knows............it might be the kind of fresh start that we both need. Starting a family could perhaps provide us with the opportunity to make a go of it?”
One moment, Margaret considered any positive things to come out of a pregnancy before turning her mind back to any possible negative aspects. Then she started to fear that Thomas might not want a child in their life yet and would therefore be far from pleased to learn of the prospect.
Three days passed by before Margaret Walsh summoned up the courage to tell her husband that she was pregnant with their first child. Upon hearing the news, he exploded in fury. He was incandescent with rage.
"You know I didn't want a child yet!" he screamed at her. "This.........this is just the wrong time to have a little brat!"
"But...I didn't make it happen!" she replied. "It wasn't me that made it happen!
"No sooner than she’d uttered those words, she realised that she’d said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. She felt her body instantly coil up as though in expectation for a vicious onslaught and another physical beating and she saw the blood flow through his hands as he started to form them into a fist. To her great surprise however, no physical assault was made on her by her angry husband.
"No sooner than she’d uttered those words, she realised that she’d said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. She felt her body instantly coil up as though in expectation for a vicious onslaught and another physical beating and she saw the blood flow through his hands as he started to form them into a fist. To her great surprise however, no physical assault was made on her by her angry husband.
Her husband stamped from the room and left Margaret in total confusion. Approximately ten minutes later, he returned. He handed his wife a sealed envelope and thrust it into Margaret’s hand.
“Take that,” he said. “Inside the envelope you’ll find the name and address of a Waterford woman and five ten-pound notes. Visit her before you are in your thirteenth week and she'll do what’s required.”
“Take that,” he said. “Inside the envelope you’ll find the name and address of a Waterford woman and five ten-pound notes. Visit her before you are in your thirteenth week and she'll do what’s required.”
Initially, Margaret couldn’t take in precisely what her husband was suggesting, but once the penny had dropped and she realised he wanted her to have an abortion, she behaved in a most uncharacteristic way.
She flew at Thomas Walsh with fists flying left, right and centre and made every attempt to scratch his very eyes out. Never expecting such a response from his wife who he’d always previously managed to control, momentarily unnerved the Headmaster and instead of striking out as he once would have done, he withdrew his ground and beat a hasty retreat, shouting abuse at her as he grabbed his hat and coat and went off out the door.
She flew at Thomas Walsh with fists flying left, right and centre and made every attempt to scratch his very eyes out. Never expecting such a response from his wife who he’d always previously managed to control, momentarily unnerved the Headmaster and instead of striking out as he once would have done, he withdrew his ground and beat a hasty retreat, shouting abuse at her as he grabbed his hat and coat and went off out the door.
“Do what you bloody want to do, you stupid woman. Have the brat if you must, but don’t expect me to own it as one of mine or feed it! As for your housekeeping allowance, there’ll not be a penny increase, so any monies you spend on the brat will come off your plate, not mine! Are you sure it's mine, anyway? What........with all that romantic drivel inside your head, God only knows where that is capable of leading you!”
Margaret couldn't believe the harhness of his callous response. She sat down on the sofa and broke into a flood of tears.
Margaret couldn't believe the harhness of his callous response. She sat down on the sofa and broke into a flood of tears.
That final remark by Thomas Walsh doubting the parentage of the child that his wife was carrying led to Margaret's emotional collapse. As her husband slammed his way out of house murmuring some derogatory comment, she screamed in exasperation at her sheer sense of unhappiness and futility.
Margaret Walsh ignored her husband’s advice to have an abortion and because any inkling of such a suggestion by him could have resulted in him receiving a prison sentence if it ever came to the Garda’s attention, there was very little he could do about his wife carrying her child the full term and then giving birth to a healthy seven-pound girl on November 10th, 1953.
Between the months that Margaret and her husband had rowed about her having a child and the infant’s birth, an uneasy silence existed between them. It was as though Thomas Walsh had effectively engaged in a war of total denial; as though he'd refused to acknowledge the very presence of the child beneath his roof, let alone that he was her father. He refused to talk about anything to do with babies and generally concerned himself with his work as Headmaster. Most evenings he would spend working extra hours at school or visiting the pub in the next village. Margaret devoted all her time and energy to their daughter and day after day the bond between mother and daughter got stronger and stronger.
The one benefit that Margaret Walsh derived from her act about going ahead and giving birth was the fact that the couple no longer slept in the same bedroom room and Thomas Walsh never again visited her bed to demand his conjugal rights as her husband. Such a change of routine was most welcome to Margaret, who'd placed the crib and child in her room.
The one benefit that Margaret Walsh derived from her act about going ahead and giving birth was the fact that the couple no longer slept in the same bedroom room and Thomas Walsh never again visited her bed to demand his conjugal rights as her husband. Such a change of routine was most welcome to Margaret, who'd placed the crib and child in her room.
As threatened by her husband, Thomas Walsh had absolutely nothing at all to do with the rearing of the child. Indeed, he never chastised her, hugged her, talked to her once or did anything which acknowledged her very presence. In short, he ignored the very fact that she’d ever been born and went about his daily life as though she’d never existed.
Had he hated her or merely viewed her as an irritant in his life, he would have needed to show some response in her presence, but he never emitted anything except complete boldness and blatant disregard.
As for his daughter, the infant's first word mouthed was 'Mama' and never once did Thomas Walsh hear any sound resembling 'dad' come from the girl. Indeed, the infant never heard Margaret utter the word 'dad' either.
As his daughter progressed through her first year of life, whenever Margaret asked Thomas any question relating to their child, he simply ignored it. Instead of providing his wife with an answer, he would turn his back on her and instead move towards the grandfather clock that stood in the corner of the room and move the hands back slightly. This was his symbolic and cruel reminder to his wife that if he could turn back the hands of time, he would never have allowed her to go full term with her pregnancy!
Margaret grew to hate him more and more daily as she reared her child on her own. She'd hadn't the slightest doubt that were she able to rewind the clock and go back in time, she never would have married one so cruel and heartless as Thomas Walsh.
He had even refused to have anything to do with getting the girl christened shortly after her birth. That function had been left solely to the child’s mother. Despite it being the early 1950s with all of the prejudices still openly practiced by men against women, Margaret was resolved for once in her life to assert herself. She was determined from the outset that her daughter would never have to buckle down and accept all the crap that women of her generation had been expected to take from the men in their lives.
Had he hated her or merely viewed her as an irritant in his life, he would have needed to show some response in her presence, but he never emitted anything except complete boldness and blatant disregard.
As for his daughter, the infant's first word mouthed was 'Mama' and never once did Thomas Walsh hear any sound resembling 'dad' come from the girl. Indeed, the infant never heard Margaret utter the word 'dad' either.
As his daughter progressed through her first year of life, whenever Margaret asked Thomas any question relating to their child, he simply ignored it. Instead of providing his wife with an answer, he would turn his back on her and instead move towards the grandfather clock that stood in the corner of the room and move the hands back slightly. This was his symbolic and cruel reminder to his wife that if he could turn back the hands of time, he would never have allowed her to go full term with her pregnancy!
Margaret grew to hate him more and more daily as she reared her child on her own. She'd hadn't the slightest doubt that were she able to rewind the clock and go back in time, she never would have married one so cruel and heartless as Thomas Walsh.
He had even refused to have anything to do with getting the girl christened shortly after her birth. That function had been left solely to the child’s mother. Despite it being the early 1950s with all of the prejudices still openly practiced by men against women, Margaret was resolved for once in her life to assert herself. She was determined from the outset that her daughter would never have to buckle down and accept all the crap that women of her generation had been expected to take from the men in their lives.
Without knowing it then, Margaret was clearly advocating women’s rights at a time when the term ‘Women’s Lib’ hadn’t yet been coined, although the actions of the Suffragettes at the beginning of the century burnt brightly in the heart and souls of many an independent woman thereafter. Margaret knew that from the moment a child drew its first breath, especially if it was a female child, every act thereafter would be one designed to disadvantage it and designate it roles and functions that would mark her inferior to the male species.
She'd even heard of tales from India where infants were murdered or abandoned at birth simply because they were girls and not boys! While all children hold that look of fragility, to Margaret and other females of more independent thought, girls within a male-dominated society always seemed to be the more vulnerable.
Therefore, in accordance with her own views in this direction, Margaret had her daughter named Joe, a name that upon hearing it would not instantaneously form a lesser impression on important ears. Joe was a name, which could be fashioned as being equally and suitably applied to either a male or female. Margaret knew that if this corrupt system of inequality between the sexes was ever to be changed, then one of the first places to start that process would be in the area of names. After all, she couldn’t see why it took a girl to be associated with being called ‘Prissy’ and a boy with being called ‘Rocky’.
Margaret had long been conscious of the difference in which every strata of society treated males and females differently. She knew that boys grabbed the teacher’s attention in the classroom more often than girls did because they created a ruckus if they were ignored instead of waiting there politely to be answered when the teacher was ready to respond. She was also aware, as was every other mother who’d ever lived, that girls pick their noses and scrutinise its contents just as much as boys do. She knew they scratched their bum like boys do, they even fart as loudly, swear as often when adults aren’t listening and fiddle with themselves when nobody's looking.
So it was that Joe Walsh came to be thus named. It was a name that would sometimes invite its fair share of ridicule as she grew from girl to womanhood, but it also became a name in her adult life that eventually became accepted and respected by one and all who knew this Portlaw female.
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