Blog Archives - FordeFables

Song For Today: 31st May 2021

31/5/2021

I dedicate today’s song to five Facebook friends who are celebrating their birthday today. They are Pauline Cronin who lives in Manchester, England: Bill Barrett who lives in Clonmel, Tipperary, Ireland: Joan Ryan Walsh, and Detta Hogan who live in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Jenny Kavanagh who lives in Waterford, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘I Won’t Last a Day Without You’. On the 13th of April, 1974, Karen and Richard Carpenter had their 14th single enter the Billboard chart. It did so at Number.70 and was the highest new entry of the week. ‘I Won’t Last A Day Without You’ was, in many ways, a curious choice for a single because it came from their album,’ A Song For You’ that had come out almost two years earlier and had already included three big hit singles. On February 4th, 1983, Karen Carpenter died in California, USA after succumbing to heart failure, brought on by her long, unpublicised struggle with anorexia.

The death of Karen Carpenter ended one of the most successful 'brother and sister' singing/musical partnerships in the world. The brother/sister relationship had come to rely upon the ‘dependency’ of each. The brother/sister relationship had been both blessed and cursed alike since their childhood years, until it had reached that suicidal signpost of one’s journey of life, with the brother and sister not being able to live with each other in their life or not being able to sustain life without each other!

They do say that ‘too close’ a sibling relationship can develop into one where the dependency of one person upon the other is actively encouraged. Such relationships can smother healthy love, and cripple individuality.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 30th May 2021

30/5/2021

I dedicate my song to four Facebook Friends who celebrate their birthday today. They are Eion O Reilly who lives in Piltown, Kilkenny, Ireland: Susan Lyons Fitzpatrick, and Bernie Walsh, and Catherine Walsh Rust who live in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Eion, Susan, Bernie, and Catherine enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

Today’s song is ‘They Call Me the Breeze’. This rock song by I.J.Cale first appeared in 1972 on his debut album ‘Naturally’. As the opening track. The song consists of a 12, shuffle and it also features the early use of a drum machine. bar. Cale performed the song along with his friend Eric Clapton, at Clapton's 2004 ‘Crossroads Guitar Festival’. The version, featuring an extended guitar solo by Clapton, is included on the official Crossroads DVD that was released in late 2004. Clapton’s version of the song and his guitar playing is the very best version of this song.

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The concept of ‘Breeze’ for me is everything that relates to being free, being cool, being relaxed, and taking it easy, etc. Sometimes the only way we can stop is to physically sit down, breathe comfortably from the abdomen and let in a new world to our stratosphere. It is only when one is truly relaxed that we allow ourselves to passively listen and attend to the sensations around us. That is the best time when we can hear that golden silence and feel the peace of quiet resignation. It is only when we let in the breeze from a new world, and from another place in time that the soul of silence whispers to us in a language that requires no words to understand,. To experience the moment is all that is required. To be!

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 29th May 2021

29/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to two Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Gerry Power who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland, and we also send birthday greetings to Mags Fenton who lives in Leeds, West Yorkshire, England. Gerry and Mags, enjoy your special day, and thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Play Me’. This song was recorded in 1972 by Neil Diamond from his album ‘Moods’. Released as a single in May 1972, ‘Play Me’ peaked at Number 11 in the United States. It was listed by ‘Billboard’ as Number 27 of Diamond’s songs.

This pop-rock song was widely praised by critics and musicians. It is among the top ten favourite songs of American writer and critic David Wild. Wild was especially fond of the lines "You are the sun, I am the moon, / You are the words, I am the tune, / Play me.’ Other writers have also cited those lines from the song as the words that stick in one’s mind after listening.

In Neil Diamond’s meaning of 'play me’, he is essentially saying that we add to each other to make music together, to make one loving body. Together, we are everything but without each other, we are an unfinished song.’

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I always feel that anyone in this world who requires the love of another to validate their own existence and purpose in life is lacking in self-love.. They are missing out on the contents of an unopened treasure box, which cannot be benefited from until that loving relationship has ended in the death of one of them. However strange it may appear, one can love their partner ‘too much’ and themselves ‘too little’ in order to benefit from the growth of both people fully in the relationship. To fall into this common trap within a happy marriage is to become too practically and emotionally dependent upon the presence of the other person in your life, that without them, not only has their life come to an end but so has yours!

For more years of your marriage, you have told them and the world, and more importantly yourself, that you cannot live without them when they die. To tell oneself this untruth for year upon year is to begin a harmful and self-fulfilling prophecy that shall surely come to pass when your loving partner dies and you have to live without them. It will only be then, in the worse moments of your bereavement, that your body will punish you for your repeated illogical self-talk. Having told yourself so often that you cannot live without them, and that you will be robbed of all meaningful purpose, your and body starts to die (thereby following your repeated instructions over the years) when they have left you bereaved. You feel like you are going insane, and your emotions are all over the place, robbing you of any future happiness. You wonder why this is happening to you? It is because for decades you have self-hypnotised yourself for it to happen when your loving partner dies. The sad irony is that this unnecessary condition is rooted in ‘misguided love’. Your misguided love is a love that is genuine in every way except one, loving your partner ‘too much’, and not loving yourself enough. Telling yourself another untruth that you shall not be able to manage without their love and support that you have grown too dependent on.

By the time you are left bereaved, you have already brought about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Having impounded this lie into your self-talk for most years of your happy marriage, the bereaved partner’s body starts to break down and begin the ‘dying process’ in accordance with their advanced mental instruction. Mutual dependency within a loving relationship is healthy and safeguards the future of each party whoever dies first. But, however much you love your partner, to become wholly dependent on their presence alongside you is most unwise.

When relationships are healthy and loving, they make the surviving bereaved partner a stronger individual for their experience, and not weaker. One of the stories I once wrote, which Nelson Mandela phoned me up in my home in the year 2000 to praise is called ‘The Valley of the Two Oaks’. Here is a shorthand, potted version of its central message

’The Valley of TheTwo Tall Oaks'

Once there were two oak trees that had started living together and stood alongside each other, like a loving couple. When they were first planted in a union, the two oaks were positioned twenty metres apart, allowing them during their earlier marital years to grow closer and more loving day by day, while also allowing themselves their own space. The two oak trees acted as Guardian Angels to the entrance of the village of African natives they protected. In time the two oaks became so respected by the villagers that individuals would sit beneath their branches and tell the two oaks what kind of day they had experienced, along with both good news that pleased them and bad news which saddened them. They spoke about all manner of topics that may have excited or worried them, just like children might do with loving parents at the end of the day. Having the two oak trees as the entrance to their village provided the villagers with a constant source of security. The villagers knew that as long as the two oak trees protected them, nothing bad could touch them. Should any villager, during the middle of the night, wake up having had a bad dream, they would automatically look towards the two oak trees at the village entrance, and instantly fall back asleep reassured that they were safe.

In time, the two oaks became the village meeting place where the elders would discuss their business. The two oaks became regarded as standing on holy ground where families would gather and celebrate the birth of a newborn babe and give the child its Christian name. The name of the child would be inscribed on the bark of the tree, leaving sufficient space beneath it to add their marriage dates, parental details, and the date they died. Other family and social functions would include village wedding celebrations, coming of age ceremonies, times of communal prayer. As every fifty years passed by, and one family generation gave way to the next generation, the more dependent the villagers came to rely on the constant presence of the two oaks. Generation after generation, the two oaks grew taller and taller until they became commonly known as the ‘Two Tall Oaks’. With the passing of time, the Two Tall Oaks grew taller and closer to each other, until the day came when the two trees were able to hold hands with their uppermost branches, forming a splendid arch to the village beyond.

For over two hundred years the Two Tall Oaks grew taller and ever more magnificent in splendid isolation. From their tallest branches, the Two Tall Oaks could look out toward the rest of Africa and see its numerous warring tribes across the wide desert. These warring tribes lived a daily existence of starvation, pestilence, warfare and strife.

When the Two Tall Oaks were at their happiness, they were struck by bolts of lightning from the violent sky above as an earthquake began to rumble beneath the ground that shook them to their very being. The earthquake lasted for five hours and resulted in destroying most of the village huts and killing half of their village occupants. When the frightened villagers eventually left their huts that still stood and witnessed the human carnage that the earthquake caused, they were shocked to the core. Then, as they looked towards the Two Tall Oak Trees, and saw the only one left standing with the other tree laid prostrate on the ground, they gasped in horror.

As can be expected, the earthquake had led to mass bereavement in the village. The dead were buried, crops were resown and a gradual resemblance of normal life returned to the village surface. As village life carried on during the months ahead, whenever the villagers looked at the Tall Oak which had lost its partner, the tree was a sorry sight to behold. The volcanic eruption had rocked it to its roots, leaving it severely fragile and capable of being blown down in the next fierce gale that came through the valley. Most of its branches were broken and twisted in angriness, and the tree was in an emotional breakdown, physical distress, and severe mental anguish.

The villagers felt more insecure and uncertain about their future than they had ever felt as the remaining tall oak looked to be lost and stranded in the deep remorse of its own bereavement. It had never once imagined being without its lifelong soulmate. The remaining oak would look down at the ground where its mate had been struck down and felled at the height of their happiness, and it became sour. The overall bereavement had left a bitter taste in the mouth of the tall oak. It was a sour taste, too rank and raw ever to be sweetened again, and it possessed a sadness of a depth that was unimaginable.

Over the months and the immediate years that followed, something started to happen to the surviving oak tree. Being without the intertwining roots of its mate, it found it had more room to grow, and it gradually started to extend its roots and to take advantage of the additional soil nutrients that the absence of its lifelong mate now provided. In a matter of time, the tall oak tree grew even taller, wider, and looked even more magnificent than it had ever looked. It spread its roots ever deeper in the new space around it and ever wider until they intertwined with its nearest neighbour. Having stood alone, it learned that the tragic experience of the storm which had traumatised and shaken it to its very foundation had also held the capacity to make the surviving tree stronger through its overall experience during any testing period ahead.

In time, the villagers saw that instead of being weakened after losing their life-long partner, the tall oak tree had taken the additional nourishment it could from the ground beneath, and had learned how to benefit from the loss of its partner and their combined strength as lifetime partners.

This is a potted version of the story that President Nelson Mandela praised when he phoned me at my home in 2000. The call was a three-way link between Nelson Mandela, the Home Office, and me, and lasted mere minutes. It heartened me enormously that the most famous and most loved person in the world had read my book, had liked it, and had bothered to have the African Home Office phone the British Home Office, who phoned me and enabled Nelson Mandela and myself to have a brief chat. Mr. Mandela was a polite and softly spoken man who told me he had enjoyed reading my ‘wonderful story’. Shortly after this momentous phone call in my life, ‘News 24’ picked up on the story, and as they say, the rest is history. By t5recording the news item, the international news channel eventually led to me working with 64 schools and the Jamaican Minister for Education and Youth Culture, for the following three years in a transatlantic Pen-Pal Project.

The original story is naturally more extensive and is called ‘The Valley of the two Tall Oaks’. It is sold independently from www.amazon.com in either e-book format or hard copy. This story can also be found in a book of three stories called ‘The Afro-Indian Dream Trilogy’, obtainable from any reputable e-mail publisher. All profits are given to charitable causes in perpetuity (over £200,000 given to charitable causes between 1990 and 2002).

Love and peace Bill xxx

Song For Today: 28th May 2021

28/5/2021

I dedicate my song to two Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Alma O ‘Neill who originates from Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, but who now lives in Piltown, Kilkenny, Ireland, Birthday greetings also go to Bernadette O‘Neil Power who also comes from Carrick-on-Suir in Tipperary but who now lives in Sidney, Australia. We hope that you both enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Streets of London’. This song is by Ralph McTell, and it was first recorded in 1969 for his album, ‘Spiral Staircase’.. It was not released in the United Kingdom as a single until 1974. The song has been covered by over 200 artists. The song was re-released, on 4 December 2017, featuring McTell with Annie Lennox as a charity single for ‘Crisis: the Homeless Charity. Roger Whittaker also recorded a well-received version in 1971.

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I have spent the bulk of my life reminding other people (as well as myself) that however badly off they consider themselves to be there will always be another person somewhere who experiences worse circumstances. The intense pain of my cancers has been greater for me during the past few months than I have ever known in my life, and yet I do not deceive myself for one moment that there are not others in the world much worse off than myself.

I discovered a long time ago that focusing upon what one does have in their life is far more beneficial to one’s sense of emotional wellbeing than concentrating on what one does not have! Ironically, the more one places one’s mind on what they are blessed with, the less one worries about the things we have not.

All a person in ill health needs to qualify them as being worse off than I am is to be without any one of the following blessings I possess in my own life. These are blessings that sustain me from morning until night and which preserve purpose in my life throughout the day. What are these blessings of mine which sustain me throughout with greater physical, psychological, mental, and emotional ease? What are these blessings, which if you do not have in your life, effectively renders your daily condition worse than mine? You might be surprised?

Anyone who does not have my belief in God has less than I have. Anyone who does not enjoy a happy relationship with a loving partner has less than I have. Anyone without the loving support of good friends and family is poorer in existence than I could ever be. Anyone who has no country or place where they can rest their hat and call ‘home’ is in a much worse condition than I am. Anyone who does not have adequate and safe accommodation is worse than I am. Anyone who has to live on insufficient income to support the day-to-day living expenses of their family knows poverty of circumstances I have never known. Anyone who does not enjoy the practical, moral, prayerful, and psychological support of a family structure knows loneliness that I have ever had.. Anyone who has the additional worry of pressing debt, no friends, and an increasing feeling of hopelessness and depression in their life is far worse than I can ever be. Indeed; the absence of just one of these identified blessings that most of us have in our lives (although we may occasionally forget) will make that person worse off than I am.

Often, I have thought that I would prefer to die in the life I currently enjoy than to live in theirs. Never delude oneself that there is no one who is worse off than you. If you do not believe me, “let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London, and I’ll show you something that will make you change your mind’. This is such a poignant song of the time, that it could only be improved by changing the final word in the ending from ‘mind’ to ‘life’ because each time we are able to change our mind, we are also in the mindset of being able to change our life.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

MEDICAL UPDATE: WILLIAM FORDE: MAY 27th, 2021.

27/5/2021

Following my recent CT Scan to see if the trial drug was having any positive effect on me, I was seen by the Oncologist specialist at Leeds Hospital, this afternoon. The news (which was expected) by me and Sheila has brought my care to a new level.

Over the past month, I have never experienced such excruciating and intensive pain in my face, neck, and throat. This has led to a rapid increase in my morphine dosage taken daily because my current amount is no longer bringing the pain under control. My appetite has vanished over the past month and I have lost a stone in weight. I have also been sick every morning over the past week. I have been drained of energy and I have needed to supplement 10 hours in bed at night with two one-hour naps during the day. Also, my cancer wounds outside my face have started hurting and weeping. I decided that there was no positive aspect in carrying on with the trial drug, so I have removed myself from the trial and I took the decision to do so, She agrees with that decision as she feels the trial drug is increasing my pain level. I am sure this is the correct decision, given my overall medical situation.

Things are now moving at a rapid rate. While the medics can Never be precise with time A patient has left-to-live, let me say that this will be my last spring and summer, and next Christmas looks to be definitely off the cards! I have been home a few hours now and Sheika and I have literally been getting our heads around things. I have already informed my children, siblings, and my family.

I know that you are all caring and good people and I would ask you not to suggest any alternative method to what I am putting before you now. While God will determine the moment of my passing, I will decide how best to extend my life as long as possible, which brings me as little pain to manage henceforth. Within days, a Palliative Care Team will be set up around me to keep watch over my morphine levels, my pain levels, my cancer wounds, and my overall disposition.

Do not stop walking my last stretch of road with me, and please do not stop saying your prayers for me. Please do not be sorry for the life I have had so far. It has been fuller and more exciting than most men could expect in three lifetimes. My dear mother used to tell me that there is always a better time to ask for something you want and might not otherwise get and that a child is more likely to get a favourable response when they ask the doner from a sickbed.

Assuming that my mother was accurate in this respect, I would like all of you to make a special effort to make some person who is feeling currently isolate more hopeful. It may be that sending a 'get well card', having a longer conversation with them when you next meet, giving them a ring on the phone, sharing a cup of coffee, dropping in on them, smiling in their presence; anything that could make them feel more loved, wanted and involved.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 27th May 2021

27/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to six Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. All of today’s birthday celebrants have a connection with Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, in as much as they originate from there or currently live there.

We wish a happy birthday to Siobhan Russell, Tender Ryan, and Anne Howard who live in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Jenny O Shea who originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in Piltown, Kilkenny, Ireland: Regina Sali who also originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in London, England: Helen Croke, who also originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in Waterford, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘I Know (You Don't Love Me No More)’ is an R&B song written and recorded by American R&B singer Barbara George. It was released as her debut single in 1961. It became her signature song, and her only major hit in the United States, reaching Number 1 on the ‘Billboard R&B Singles' chart and Number 3 in the Billboard Hot 100’.

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Whoever we are, or however little we pretend that we care, when it comes to perceive that we have been ‘rejected’ each of us cares. None of us likes to feel that we have not come up to scratch and that we have failed to reach the expectations of another, or worse still, that we have lost their affection for good.

If there is one phrase that jars my senses each time I hear it, it is ‘Getting dumped!’ Getting jilted, or having one’s relationship break up, or calling it a day and deciding that you are not the ideal match you hoped you might have been can all hurt, but ‘Getting dumped’ not only stabs one’s senses to the quick, but it twists the serrated knife in. The mere term ‘dumped’ implies being discarded and put out of sight like human rubbish being binned, something that is unwanted and ‘gone off’.

As a romantic teenager, more years ago than I can now remember, ‘breaking up’ rarely affected me, largely because I was usually the one who did the breaking off. It wasn’t that I fancied myself to be too good for the young women with whom I went out, it was because I had my plans set out for my years 21-25, and I was determined not to upset the applecart of expectations. I did not wish to date seriously in my teens or become emotionally involved beyond the commitment of a single man, or to get married before my late twenties had arrived. My plans were to live in Canada and to travel the states before I returned to England to settle down to a life of domesticity.

While I did not object to (and liked) the experience of ‘falling’ in love, ‘being’ in love carried too much responsibility and emotional commitment with it to make me feel comfortable. I was always truthful and honest with my dates when we met, and I never wanted to deceive them as to my true intentions. I lived in an era where the prime preoccupation of most young women was to get married to a good man of reliable character before they had passed 21 years of age. Many young brides would have parented their second child before they had reached their mid-twenties, and most young men would have wanted to settle down with a good woman and a regular job with good prospects instead of living with their parents. I never wanted to lead any young lady up the garden path by giving her unrealistic expectations, let alone walk her down the wedding aisle!

I was a young man who wanted to have the kind of fun that I could legitimately have now, and which I would never have again once I had married and settled down. I know that many people may hold the view that I wanted my cake and eat it, but, put simply, yes! I did. To make love with another of similar mind is marvellous. To make friends with a person of the opposite sex and to remain friends after the physical side of that relationship is over exceeds everything that is platonic. To have a companion of adventure, fun, and exploration is also wonderful. Any of these experiences fulfil and excites, but to experience all three in the same person blows one’s mind! It is a backpacker’s dream.

Life is but a sequence of different relations between man and woman in the making, and life remains good as long as you remain good to all these relationships. Trust in self and respect all others and one will not go astray too often, as emotional unsettledness only arises after one person in the couple says one thing but comes to mean another.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 26th May 2021

26/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to Annmarie Walsh who lives in Carrick-on-Suir. Tipperary, Ireland. Annmarie celebrates her birthday today. Her father passed away last year. Her father Tony and I were best friends and remained so for life. Sadly, Tony passed away in May of 2020. His kind spirit and love of fun live on in his family and all his children. Have a smashing birthday, Annmarie. I am so glad that you can celebrate it out of lockdown this year. Love from Billy Forde, Sheila, and all the Forde family. Bill and Sheila x.

My song today is ‘King Creole’ recorded by the late Elvis Presley from the film of the same name (1958). The song was written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. The song is based on King Creole, a Cajun guitar player from New Orleans who is proficient in all different styles of rock and roll. The song was released as a single in the UK in 1958. It reached Number 2 in the ‘UK Singles Chart’. In 2007 the single was re-released and spent one week at the top.

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This song takes me back to the years when Annmarie’s father, Tony came across from Carrick-on-Suir to live on Windybank Estate with an aunt. I had recently started to get mobile again after three years of being left unable to walk after a very bad traffic accident. Tony and I became instant friends and he helped me a great deal in the many activities I engaged in to help me regain my balance when one leg of mine finished up being three inches shorter than the other. He introduced me to boxing, and also long-distance running. We essentially became blood brothers, and we spent our late teenage years as the closest of friends, dating, drinking, dancing, and fighting together. Many a Saturday morning after we had been to the ‘Hightown Heights WMC’on Friday night and had arrived home late when my mum came to wake me up for breakfast, she would find Tony or another of the gang in bed with me. There wasn’t anything we wouldn’t do together and very little we did apart.

When I went to live in Canada and travel around America in 1963, Tony was also on his way Ireland bound. It would be many years before we met again, and I would visit him whenever I went back to my own Irish birthplace during future holidays. Tony and I had been brought up in next-door Irish villages. Tony met and married his lovely wife, Lily and they had lots of children together during their happy marriage. When Tony died last year, a large part of my childhood past died also. I know that his children, as do mine, carry the love that we shared’

I hope your birthday is the happiest of days, Annmarie. Love from me and Sheila, and all the Forde family on your special day, and all the love in the world to you and yours.

Love and peace Bill xxx

Song For Today: 25th May 2021

25/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to six people who are celebrating their birthday. First, I wish a happy birthday to my sister-in-law, Denise who is married to my youngest brother and is the mother of two sons, Carl and Michael. Denise is the most beautiful of my sisters-in-law (but please don’t tell the others that I said so), and she lives in Gomersal, West Yorkshire, England.

Next, we wish happy birthday to Alison Merrick who lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire: Mike O Hara who lives in the Shetland Islands: Dympna Brophy who lives in Waterford, Ireland: Martina -Pinkney who lives in the Shire of Poulton le Fylde: Lynnettye Skelton Birch who lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire, England. I hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day.

My song today is ‘Before You Accuse Me’. This song was written and originally recorded by the rock pioneer Bo Diddley in 1957. The composer credits are listed as his real name: Ellas McDaniel. Eric Clapton released the song as the B-side of ‘Bad Love’, the first single from Journeyman.

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Whenever I hear this song or term, it reminds me of the biblical words by Jesus in John: 8:7 “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”. I have known several people who are always too quick to criticise others and to point the finger. As a behaviourist, I have always suspected that such critical display stems more from their own upbringing than the fault they are highlighting in another. Perhaps when they were the child, they may have been the family scapegoat whose parents would be first to criticise.

Being criticised can be a tough thing to handle (even though it sometimes can be very useful to help you grow or improve something you do). Any fool can criticise, but it takes character, understanding, and respect for one’s fellow-being to demonstrate by other means. It is far better to appropriately 'point out' instead of marking down. The more one criticises, the less one is moved by the finer qualities of life. A favourite author of mine, Norman Vincent Peale once remarked, “The trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

There are many people lacking in self-confidence who just do not possess the strength of character to receive criticism, however, constructively the criticism is given. Their absence of confidence and feelings of insecurity finish up with them believing that they are being persecuted.

I once got told by a wise friend that a good way of reducing one’s criticism, especially where it is questionable to make the criticism in the first place, is to first ask oneself the question, ”Have I ever done anything worst than that, or behaved more badly?” If one has, then criticism is very unwise unless it is constructive and is absolutely necessary, and runs the risk of being unjust or unwarranted.

I was never to experience this dilemma anyway because whenever I asked myself if I had ever done anything worse than the person whom I was tempted to criticise, the answer would invariably come back with a resounding ‘yes!'

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 24th May 2021

24/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to three Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Eibhun Walsh who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Annette Molloy who lives in Dublin, Ireland: Jake Tomlinson who comes from Oxenhope and lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire, England. We hope that the three of you enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Aquarius: Let the Sunshine In’. This is a medley of two songs that were written for the 1967 musical ’Hair’ by James Rado. Gerome Ragni wrote words and Galt MacDermot wrote the music. It was released as a single by the American R&B group ‘The 5th Dimension’. The song spent six weeks at Number 1 on the US ‘Billboard Hot 100’ pop singles chart in the spring of 1969 and was eventually certified platinum in the US by the RIAA. Instrumental backing was written by Bill Holman and provided by session musicians commonly known as the ‘Wrecking Crew’. The actual recording is something of a rarity, as the song was recorded in two cities, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, then mixed together in the studio. The song listed at Number 66 on Billboard’s "Greatest Songs of All Time.”

This song was one of the most popular songs of 1969 worldwide, and in the United States, it reached the Number 1 position on both the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ and the ‘Billboard Easy Listening Chart.' It also reached the top of the sales charts in Canada and elsewhere. Billboard ranked it as the Number 2 ‘Hot 100 Single’ for the year of 1969. It won the ‘Grammy Award for Record of the Year’ and ‘Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Group for the Grammy Awards of 1970. After being published on the album ‘The Age of Aquarius’ by the 5th Dimension, it was released as a seven-inch vinyl single record.

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The lyrics of this song were loosely based on the astrological belief that the world would soon be entering the ‘Age of Aquarius’. This is an age of love, light, and humanity. This change was presumed to occur at the end of the 20th century; however, astrologers differ widely as to precisely when. The exact starting date of this new age is up for debate. Some astrologers suggest it starts on the vernal equinox on March 20, 2021, in the northern hemisphere, while others, such as Kelly, focus on the conjunction that occurred in December 2020.

Ironically, these are the timelines when the COVID-19 pandemic virus struck the global world. Records show that the first case of the coronavirus (COVID-19) was reported to the World Health Organization (WHO) in December 2019 and was subsequently declared a public health emergency of international concern (PHEIC). It came to dominate 2020/2021.

If ever a song was more appropriate in the message to its time, it is ‘Aquarius’. Surely, this pandemic crisis has given every country in the entire world the perfect opportunity to realise that this is the time for the world to heal. This is the time for everyone to stand up and be counted! This is the time for every nation in the world to stand up, and to show all the better side of humankind!

This is the age to show the entire world what humanity stands for, and who humanity stands for? This the age to dispel the ‘us’ and the ‘them’ from the equation, and to focus solely on the ‘we’; for without ‘we’, you and I hold no worth, and all we value is meaningless.

The world has never had a better opportunity to see the benefit by acting like one instead of many different nations. This cruel and pervasive pandemic can provide the opportunity for the world to move towards enlightenment and away from all that is blind, uncaring, and selfish. Perhaps it takes an illness of such magnitude to provide civilisation with the opportunity of discovering what can be achieved when country upon country come together in a single purpose to find an answer to the pandemic problem that attacks us all.

It is only when an individual is struck down sick and becomes a hospital patient that they find out who their true friends are. This is the time when true friends freely offer their help and hold out any kind of assistance that will restore their friend’s good health and sense of well-being. As an individual who has spent many months (indeed, years) being a patient on hospital wards, I have experienced the heartache and social isolation felt by some patients who rarely received hospital visitors bearing gifts, good wishes, and the hope embodied in ‘get well soon’ cards they leave behind. It can be difficult witnessing the ward patient in the next bed being overwhelmed with more visitors than they are allowed when you have had no visitor for several days.

This hospital analogy got me wondering how differently mankind can respond in similar situations? Who are experiencing the same life-threatening problems? It got me to thinking why one country reacts so favourably to a neighbouring nation and is hostile to another? I began to wonder what different consequences we bring about when we decide to walk past a dying hospital patient on a ward without giving them a second glance, yet we smile with pleasure farther down the ward to see our close friend who is occupying a bed on the same ward as the dying patient?

Imagine walking past the dying hospital patient, bearing gifts of two vaccines to fend off Covid-19 that we’re bringing to restore the good health of our friend who is a patient farther down the ward? Are we not engaged in precisely the same situation when it comes to the most pressing issue of our times, the most pressing issue that has ever been? Do we save our vital resource for self and friends or do we share with others to preserve survival?

We live in a world of 'pass the parcel' and 'duck the responsibility'.Take this political bombshell we presently hold in our hands, which could explode anytime. If any country within a world of many countries has more vaccines than that country’s needs, does that country share with other countries who have less than what they need? When vaccines are effective lifesavers, do we share, all available vaccines, or do we stockpile in our own medicine cabinet and ignore all but our closest friends?

How much do we really help ourselves, and how much do we really help our friend in such a situation? Do we help the sick patients on the hospital ward if we blithely walk past a dying Covid patient who has no vaccine, while we carry two and more vaccines in our hand for our best friend to consume and stockpile?

No! It is just like seeing your next-door neighbours’ terrace house on fire. The fire is blazing, and the house shall be burnt down before the Fire Brigade has arrived. Your neighbour is fighting a losing battle, during a drought when it has not rained for over a year and water is extremely rationed across the globe. Your next-door neighbour is fighting the flames alone, and it is only with your help, and having immediate access to the use of your water supply to put out the fire, you may both be able to quench the flames and save the day. Examine this analogy closely. if we do not join forces in our firefight now, then sadly both our houses shall burn down because of ‘selfishness’ on my part, because of being uncooperative. I was not prepared to share our efforts and resources to help him put out his house fire, and the inevitable consequence was that both his and my house were burned to the ground!

If this pandemic has taught us anything, it will have hopefully taught us the advantage of never taking anything for granted ever again, however large, or small. In a world of hidden treasures, the most precious of them all is often found in the most common of things that do not cost the benefactor one penny! If this pandemic has taught us anything, it might even have taught us everything we truly need to know! We will have learned that smiles, touch, contact, proximity to loved ones, comfort, hugs, kisses, embraces, walks with nature, access to everyday things, the observance of family customs, the worth of routines, and work are all essential to our daily happiness, sense of wellbeing and purpose.

It is things of such stuff that fill our treasure chest, and are the greatest of all our human needs. These are the things that really matter in our lives We will have learned that family feeds love, love feeds the soul, and it is only through the act of ‘sharing’ that survival of self is possible.

Unless we recognise that until every person is protected then none of us are protected. We are all doomed to die before our time. Whenever one person in the western world eats two slices of bread where one will suffice, someone, somewhere in the eastern part of the world will starve to death.

If this is the ‘Age of Aquarius’, sharing vaccines and all material things across the world should not be left as an act to soothe the individual conscience, but remain a time of positive action; a time to be, a time to share. If this is not the ‘Age of Aquarius’, then let us usher that Age in and bring on the sunshine. Come on, bring it on and let it in!

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 23rd May 2021

23/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to six Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Debbie Wall who lives in Kilkenny, Ireland: Caroline Hanlon Doherty, and Celine Keyes who comes from Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Alan Fahey who comes from Kilsheelan in Waterford but who now lives in Tipperary, Ireland: Isabelle Rhodes who lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire, England, and John B Walsh. We hope that you have an enjoyable day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Rocks’. This song by Scottish rock band ‘Primal Scream’ is taken from their fourth studio album, ‘Give Out but Don’t Give Up’. This song was the first indication of Primal Scream's change in musical style. I can definitely see somewhere along the line that the group has been influenced in their song style by the music of The Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart.

‘Rocks’ was released as a single in 1994 and reached Number 7 on the ‘UK Singles Chart’. Definitely a song for the young modern rock fans of the 1990s.

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I do not usually sing rock songs as my listeners tend to be in the older age bracket. When I first heard this song, I did not need to know what the term ‘Get your rocks off’ referred to. I think the group got away with it at the time because of its multiple meanings such as getting too drunk, getting high, or getting it on with a woman!

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 22nd May 2021

22/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to six people; one death anniversary, the death of a family friend, yesterday, and four birthdays that are being celebrated.

On May 22nd, 2017, Mum Elizabeth passed away, having spent the last nine years of her life as a resident in an ‘Oakworth Manor Nursing Home’. I never knew Sheila’s mum outside her Nursing home residency, where we would visit often. Sheila would take Mum Elizabeth a walk most days. I would accompany them when I could but for the last three years of her life, my own illness and effective absence of an effective immune system prevented me. During the years, I knew Mum Elizabeth, she had five favourite things in her life (apart from seeing her children, Sheila, and Winston, and our rough collie, Lady, who sadly died a few years ago). The joys and favourite treats of her life were listening to music: reading her bible: singing her favourite hymns: going for her daily walk in the fresh breeze and warm air: looking at a tree outside her lounge window: eating chocolates and smiling. Indeed, she conveyed an aura of constant happiness, and I never saw her when she did not have a smile on her face that was not larger than her face itself. It was as if her huge smile extended beyond the circumference of her face, providing her with the image of a constant halo to illustrate her innocence, natural goodness, and wholesomeness of person. We miss you, Mother Elizabeth and I regret not having known you earlier in my life. God bless you. Sheila and Bill xxx

On 21st May our Californian family friend Kitty Hite died. Kitty was one of those special people who you did not have to meet face-to-face in order to love. One did not have to be in their physical presence to know that one was in the presence of ‘goodness’. It was fate that led to Kitty’s friendship with the Forde family. Many years ago, her son, Blake and his close friend were backpacking around Europe. Like all backpackers in their early twenties in a foreign land, and away from home and family support, the two young men were frequently without accommodation, food, warmth and shelter. Over a three-month period, I took them into my house where they would visit for four or five hours daily to eat, rest, socialise and keep warm. Blake finished up in Denmark where he still lives with his wife and their two children. His mother remained forever grateful for the assistance that the Forde family had bestowed upon their son in his hours of need. Rest in peace Kitty. Bill xxx

We also wish four of my Facebook friends a happy birthday today, in recognition of their special day. They are Margaret Drohan and PJ Slater Senior who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Liz O Rourke who lives in Roscrea who lives in Tipperary, Ireland., and Liz Mcfarlane. We hope the birthday boys and girls enjoy their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

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My song today is “What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love’. This is a 1965 popular song with lyrics by Hal David and music by Burt Bacharach. First recorded and made popular by Jackie DeShannon it was released on April 15, 1965. It peaked at Number 7 on the ‘ US Hot 100’ chart in July of that year. In Canada, the song reached Number 1.

Co-songwriter Burt Bacharach revealed in his 2014 autobiography that this song had among the most difficult lyrics Hal David ever wrote, despite being deceptively simple as a pop hit. He explained that they had the main melody and chorus written back in 1962, centering around a waltz tempo, but it took another two years for David to finally come up with the lyric, "Lord, we don't need another mountain." Once David worked out the verses, Bacharach said the song essentially "wrote itself" and they finished it in a day or two.

The song's success caught the two songwriters completely by surprise since they were very aware of the controversy and disagreements among Americans about the Vietnam War, which was the subtext for David's lyrics. Bacharach has continuously used the song as the intro and finale for most of his live concert appearances well into the 2000s. The song was originally offered to singer Dionne Warwick who turned it down at the time, saying she felt it was "too country" for her tastes and "too preachy" for her listeners. The song was also turned down by Gene Pitney over a money dispute.

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The central message of this song for me is summed up in the lines :
"Lord, we don't need another mountain.
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb.
There are oceans and rivers, enough to cross, enough to last
‘til the end of time”.

This song essentially is telling us that we have all we need in this world of ours if we learn to live within our means and share what we have. And the most important thing of all we can share is our love, a commodity of humanity that is sadly lacking in the world.

When I was a teenager, every now and then I might catch the words of a Thomas Malcolm Muggeridge on our radios and television screen. Born in 1903 and who died in 1990, Muggeridge was an English journalist and satirist. His father, H.T Muggeridge was a prominent socialist politician and one of the early Labour Party Members of Parliament for Romford in Essex. Seeped in politics, In his twenties, Muggeridge was attracted to communism and went to live in the Soviet Union in the 1930s, but the experience eventually turned him into an anti-communist. He was a British spy during ‘World War 11’, first in east Africa and then in Paris. In the aftermath of the war, he converted to Christianity and he was largely responsible for bringing Mother Teresa to the attention of the western world. He was also an ardent critic of the sexual revolution and the use of drugs.

Muggeridge kept detailed diaries for much of his life, which were published in 1981 under the title ’Like it Was: The Diaries of Malcolm Muggeridge’, and he developed them into two volumes of an uncompleted autobiography ‘Chronicles of Wasted Time’(published in 1972). Definitely considered to be a highbrow read for students of history, religion, politics, communism and social reconstruction of society, very few people of my age (30 years) would have had it on their bookshelf or would have entertained many of his beliefs beyond the first chapter. Still, fifty years ago his thoughts were as revolutionary refreshing as the Russian Revolution appeared by many to be during the Second World War period.

Although I debunked his view on improving economic conditions globally when I first started listening to him, he was undoubtedly revolutionary for his time having had many personal conversions during his time, he always spoke his mind, however popular or unpopular that made him.

The idea I debunked fifty years ago was when he postulated that for the western economy and way of life to survive into the next generation, we would all have to deliberately cut our standard of living. Today, I would have to bow down to his foresight and profound wisdom as I now believe to be the case. We need as a world to consume less in the west so that people in the poorer parts of the world can consume more. It matters not whether we talk about food and agriculture, gases and fuels that threaten to warm our planet and throw it into climate chaos, preserve our waters and conserve our rain forests. We need to consume less to get more out of our lives and the only thing we need to consume more and more is ‘love sweet love.’ God bless you, Malcolm, who was a man before his time.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 21st May 2021

21/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to Barry Houldsworth from Haworth, Keighley, West Yorkshire, and Debbie Keevan who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Both Barry and Debbie celebrate their birthday today. Enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is called, ‘Because of You’. This song was recorded by an American pop singer. Kelly Clarkson for her second studio album, ‘Breakaway’ (2004). It was written by Clarkson along with its producers David Hodges and Ben Moody. It was released on August 16, 2005. Clarkson originally wrote ‘Because of You’ when she was 16 years old to cope with the emotional distress caused by her parent's divorce. She wanted the song to be included on her debut studio album, ‘Thankful’ (2003), but her record label rejected the song. She then polished the song with Hodges and Moody before successfully convincing her label to include it on her album ‘Breakaway’.

Lyrically, ‘Because of You’ explores the pain of Clarkson's deteriorating relationship with her father. ‘Because of You’ received positive reviews from music critics, who complimented its expressive lyrics, creative arrangement, and Clarkson's vocal prowess. It peaked at Number 7 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100 Chart’. It was certified platinum by the ‘Recording Industry Association of America’ (RIAA). ‘Because of You’ became Clarkson's biggest success in Europe, topping the ‘European Hot 100 Singles’ chart. It also reached Number 1 in Brazil, the Netherlands, Denmark, and Switzerland, as well as making the top ten in Australia, Austria, Belgium, Germany, Hungary, Ireland, and the United Kingdom.

Kelly Clarkson wanted to reflect on the pain that she felt resulting from her parent's divorce. The video's plot centres on Clarkson engaging in a heated argument with her husband in front of her child before realizing that she was repeating her parents' mistake. The song won ‘Best Female Video’ in the 2006 ‘Video Awards’.

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‘Because of You’ is a song that constantly echoes the experiences of so many people who did not have a happy childhood upbringing. It about childhood experiences that have left a mark on one’s future life, and which have remained unresolved into the child’s adult life. Such might be negative and emotionally repressed experiences that are often repeated by the child in their own adult life, with their own children. In Kelly Clarkson’s case, it was her parent’s acrimonious divorce which had such a profound emotional impact on her thereafter, but the reason could be almost any type of inappropriate behaviour experienced during a person’s childhood that could lead to that behaviour being learned and introduced into the child’s behaviour pattern, only to be repeated in their adult life. In such instances, that done to the child by the parents, that experienced by the child, or any parental mistakes made, risk being repeated by the child when they become a parent or adult.

Those experiences we do not learn from, run the risk of being invariably repeated at a later date in our lives!

Memories of one’s childhood are so powerful in the mind that they remain the eternal dreams and nightmares of the future for each of us. The nature and quality of the relationship between a child and their parents will largely determine whether childhood memories are positive or negative, happy or sad, beneficial or harmful. They will influence whether such experiences (happy or sad) are learned for the benefit of the individual, or if they risk being repeated, and turning up again like the proverbial bad apple. It is the nature and quality of our earlier experiences in life that will place them in the ‘dream’ or the ‘nightmare’ category. Unhappy memories of one’s childhood which are repressed and are not healthily dealt with can start a chain-event of lifelong images at the cradle of early experience, that only end at the graveside of our eternal departure. Such tragic experiences in our childhood left unresolved will be replayed throughout our adult lives at every opportunity. Like an old-time film we know by heart and have watched many times previously, each individual scene, each sequence leads to one reliving the scene as though the initial event was happening in front of one’s own eyes now! It is as though we are never allowed to escape our experiential memory box, which will jump out at us like a scary ‘Jack-in-the Box’, every time our thoughts, words and feelings begin to collectively match a previous event of the traumatic outcome.

As a Probation Officer for 27 years in West Yorkshire, I have known the unhappy memories of one’s childhood events prove to be so emotionally destructive that they are frequently doomed to be repeated and replayed in the child’s adult life. It helps us to understand this better if we view ‘repeated’ as being ‘re-enacted in reality’, and ‘replayed’ as ‘being ‘re-enacted in image/mental form as though it was occurring before one’s very eyes. In physiological terms, the body cannot distinguish what is ‘real’ and what is ‘imagined’, because the body does not need to distinguish to do its job and to formulate ‘an experience’. If for example, a madman believes himself to be Henry the V111, if he sees himself as Henry V111, then it matters not how others see him, because to him he is Henry V111.

I have often heard the phrase about ‘the sins of the father’ being passed on to their child. Unfortunately, emotional repression of traumatic events in our earlier life possesses the capacity to jump from one generation to the next. Often, we take a traumatic experience of our childhood that has emotionally unsettled and disturbed us, and we transport the experience of the child into the future behaviour of the child-turned adult, the child-turned parent. Whether we like it or not, all of our prior experiences have an impact and influence upon our future responses in similar situations. The reason for this capacity lies in the fact that all sensory experiences are mentally stored in our memory boxes, ready to be instantly and automatically re-activated at a future date.

I have known the children experience physical, psychological, mental, and sexual abuse from either parent, other family members or other adults, who, because the emotional harm done to them was never addressed in their childhood, the type of behaviour once inflicted on the child by the adult was often repeated in the child’s own adulthood upon their own child or other children!

All manner of inappropriate behaviour learned as a child is often repeated as though the images of the past are flickering through our minds like an early movie projector. It is as though ‘What the Butler Saw’ on the seaside prom, we too can see what happened to us as a child as we look into our past, we see that past is still present! It is as though the original images can take the adult back thirty years in time in one second.

Fortunately, all ‘learned’ behaviour can be ‘unlearned’, and there is no necessity for ‘Groundhog Day’ to haunt our lives. When the traumatic and unresolved emotional event of childhood cannot be dealt with, one of two things happen, and one of two opposing behavioural patterns emerge as the individual grows from child to adult. The child who was sexually abused as a child, who manages to tell someone and address their damaged emotions does everything possible to ensure that their own children never need to feel helpless or suffer such dreadful silence alone. They become more sensitive to their children’s situation, but not oversensitive to the point that all their responses are a ‘parental overreaction’ which emotionally stifles their child into being suffocated by too much love!

I have known men who saw their aggressive and violent fathers beat and abuse their mothers in their presence, leaving them with horrible images that they will never forget. Some children sadly become wife-beaters in turn. I have known the exact opposite behaviour emerge in consequence, whereby such child experiences can lead the person as an adult, never to openly express anger, never to seek confrontation, and avoid all manner of confrontation.

While neither opposing behaviour pattern is appropriate, the ‘overreaction’ for a boy or girl to be the opposite to what their abusive parents were like is far more common and healthier than the repeat of the parental abusive behaviour. Determined to remove all danger, they ensure the safety of their child, even to the point of becoming an overprotective and overindulgent parent. And although not ideal, it is far better to be someone who learns the opposite behaviour pattern that their abusive parents engaged in instead of repeating the inappropriate behaviour pattern modelled to them as a child!

Until I was forty, I never saw my father drink alcohol because his father had been a drunkard the whole of his childhood. I have known too many children whose parents were alcoholic abusers, mirror the very same alcohol abuse demonstrated in their childhood by drunken parents. The best answer to all these situations is a combination of four things:

Joining a ‘Social Skills and Appropriately Assertive Training Course’; whose membership is evenly composed of the two opposing response patterns, where the group members either display an aggressive and violent behaviour pattern or too fearful a behaviour pattern’. Paradoxically, these two opposing behaviour patterns experience comparable reasons for their responses and best learn from the mistakes of each other.

(1) Learning Relaxation Training.
(2) Learning Aggression and Anger Control.
(3) Learning Fear Reduction methods.

For over sixty years I practised Relaxation Training and I have been a Relaxation Training Instructor for over forty-five years. By the mid-1970s, I was one of the most authoritative Relaxation Trainers in the country and my work was written about in European studies of advanced social work methods. During the early 1970s, I was the founder of ‘Anger Management’ and was responsible for devising the most efficient way of reducing the anger states of an aggressive person. Within two years of formulating a systematised approach of working with aggressive people, ‘Anger Management’ had mushroomed across the English- speaking world, and my methods were being employed by thousands of workers globally.

For almost thirty years I ran a hundred plus ‘Social Skills and Assertive Training Courses’ that proved to be hugely successful (based on a 10-year follow-up study of 660 individuals). I would operate up to three courses weekly that would run in three different locations. Such locations were in Probation Hostels, Hospitals, Educational Centres, Police Training Academies, Psychiatric Wards, Community Halls. The weekly classes lasted 90 minutes (thirty minutes of which would be devoted weekly in developing Relaxation skills). The group membership would number up to thirty group clients on each course. The courses would last for twenty-four weeks.

The group membership would comprise of both sexes, of offending and nonoffending clients who presented similar problems, and all who were older than 18 years. All group members would be known by their Christian names only. Among the group members would also be half a dozen professional workers from the fields of education, hospitals, hostels, social workers, psychiatry, psychology, plus the occasional parish priest or vicar. No member would ever need to discuss if they were an offender and were encouraged to speak about any situation or behaviour type they wanted to. Such problem would usually include behavioural problems like being too aggressive: being too fearful and too tense: having suicidal thoughts: being unable to sleep properly: being a substance abuser: having been physically, sexually or mentally abused as a child and has remained silent ever since: stealing as a matter of drawing attention to oneself when financial circumstances are not the reason: indecently exposing themselves.

Occasionally, a group member would personally volunteer very private information to group membership of over two dozen. I have had numerous members inform the group of their own abuse received in childhood and even a few members who spoke about some sexual offences they had perpetrated in adulthood. One group member killed another young man in a drunken pub brawl. A few admitted to arson as a means of revenge (they would usually speak as ‘the friend of a friend’ as arson still carries a ‘life sentence’). I arranged for one young man to join the group because of his aggressive behaviour. His father would frequently beat his mother and sexually assault her in front of his growing children. Before the group that ‘Peter’ would join started, he had witnessed his drunken dad beat up on his mother again, and this time, he stabbed him to death. He was sentenced to ‘Life’ imprisonment. I do wish I had been six months earlier in being able to offer him help with his learned violent behaviour.

I tell you my credentials in the above areas, not in pursuit of your admiration, but in the hope that it will persuade one of you that I know what I am talking about and hopefully (if you display any problematic behaviour that either makes you unhappy, criminal, or unhealthy) to look at the type of courses I have previously referred to. Such courses can be often found in evening educational classes, and while there will be less chance of finding a group that covers the four essential areas I have listed for personal improvement, any course that deals with any of the major areas of Relaxation, Social Skills Development, Anger Management or Fear Reduction will get you off on the right foot.

Also, being part of a group that possess similar behavioural problems is infinitely better than working in one-to-one counselling sessions even if you have the money required to pay for such individual counselling. A group member who behaves like you is more likely to be more helpful on the road of your enlightenment and positive change than any professional worker with five different Phds or half a dozen master’s degrees in related disciplines

When people ask me ‘Where did you learn all this?”, I can only truthfully tell them that the majority of helpful things I ever learned came from people with a wide range of problems. I learned from my own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Each week I started the group, I may have planned a five-minute introduction to identify the area of human behaviour we might talk about that week together as we enjoin our knowledge and experience. However, the group itself decided which subjects or behaviour they wished to talk about that week. Any answers I ever discovered in the whole of my professional life rarely came from a book or social work manual, but always came from the pool of individual experiences we listened to and worked with as we looked for the best ways of emotionally resolving the problem. I was the group leader but apart from managing and directing the group, for the most part, the experts were the problem clients who were prepared to share their life experiences and tell us about the emotional effect it may have had and the ways that made the problem situation either better or worse. The answers did not reside in my head but were thrown into the group circle unknowingly during weekly sessions. I was so fortunate to become a part of the same learning group, as we learned how best to help each other.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 20th May 2021

20/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to five Facebook friends who are celebrating their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to John Robinson who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Anthony Bennett who lives in Oxenhope, West Yorkshire, England: Jean Baird who is from Keighley, West Yorkshire, England: James Eustace who lives in Myshall, Carlow, Ireland. Finally, we wish a happy birthday to Bernadine Maloney who originates from Tipperary in Ireland but who now lives in Oaksworth, West Yorkshire, England. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘On the Beach’. This was a 1964 hit song by Cliff Richards and the Shadows. It was taken from and released in the lead up to the release of the film ‘Wonderful Life’ and its soundtrack. The song became an international hit for Cliff Richard, reaching Number 7 in the ‘UK Singles Chart’. It charted in Australia (Number 4), Ireland (Number. 6), Norway (Number 4), South Africa (Number 2), and Sweden (Number 12).

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Cliff Richard has had one of the longest singing careers in show business and is still singing his heart out. In my day, one tended to either give their loyalty to the clean-shaven Cliff or the long-haired sideburn look of Elvis Presley. Both singers developed a twisted curve of their lips deliberately, and Elvis supporters merely accused Cliff of playing copycat to the King. Cliff could send his female followers into a reverie of daydreams, singing about a world of peace, fun, wholesomeness, and even Godliness. Indeed, Cliff was never afraid to 'put God up front' in his world, even though he lost many fans the more he expressed his love of God. Even at the height of his popularity, his fan base comprised of young women, mothers, and even grandmothers. Many original fans, their mothers and even their grandmothers made up the family fan base.

In the fan base camp of his rival, Elvis, the singer's fan base remained differently composed. Elvis started solely with young females, who, in the main remained his lifelong fanbase, and even recruiting their own daughters and granddaughters into the family fanbase!

Both singers developed a twisted curve of their lips deliberately, and Elvis supporters merely accused Cliff of playing copycat to the King. Whereas Cliff could send his female followers off into a wholesome world, Elvis could visually produce a stadium of 20,000 screaming frenzied women who fainted and swooned with greater regularity than a Victorian-English lady of gentility being compelled to enter the sexual sin bins of Sodom and Gomorrah.

In Genesis (18:20), God reveals to Abraham that Sodom and Gomorra are to be destroyed for their grave sins of the flesh. Abraham pleads for the lives of any righteous people living there, especially the lives of his nephew, Lot, and his family. God more or less tells Abraham to leave the city of sin behind them and not look back.

The comparison between the fans of Cliff and Elvis, and the effect that the singing of their idols had on them could not have been greater. During the earlier years of the two singers striving to appeal to and hold on to the affection of their fans, Cliff and Elvis would send their fans off to church weekly in their droves! Church attendance of young women aged from thirteen to thirty rocketed in both groups and church attendance of followers increased exponentially. Whether it involved sitting on the church pew listening religiously to the Sunday Service or queuing around the church aisle to enter the confessional box, Church attendees rapidly increased. However, each set of fans went to church for entirely different reasons. Cliff's fans wanted to keep from their minds impure images, whereas the female fans of Elvis welcomed the opportunity to relive their impure thoughts in the church confessional box!

Cliff’s image was good enough to send his female fans off to church every Sunday morning because of love. Cliff loved God, they loved Cliff, and so their love of God was encouraged also. Elvis’ bad boy image, however, had a much different effect on his adoring female fan base. His overall performance would be more likely to send his female followers off to the confessional box in Church every week because of lust. Along with the impure thoughts that Elvis placed in their wicked minds every time he gesticulated his hips and curved his lips into an unspoken message of suggestive sensuality (for which his followers required no translation to fully understand its meaning)

And that is why the fan base of the two singers could not have been more different, even had they tried to be!

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 19th May 2021

19/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to four Facebook friends. We wish a happy birthday to Henry Soulsby who lives in Wolverhampton, England: Ann Higgins who lives in Kildare, Ireland: John Casey who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Jo Beckett who lives in Warwick, Warwickshire, England. We wish the birthday Boys and girls an eventful day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Grace’. This song is by Scottish singer-songwriter Lewis Capaldi. It was released as a digital download on 21 September 2018. The song peaked at number nine on the ‘UK Singles Chart’

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I found this song to be one of the hardest to sing from scratch. It is however a beautiful song and is well deriving its Number 1 spot in the ‘UK Singles Chart’

It is sometimes said that many dogs and owners are perfect matches in image form. It is also said that a person is often given a first name by their parents that does not fit them and never will.

Grace finds its roots in Latin and is derived from gratia. It existed as Gracia in the Middle Ages but was not in common use until the Puritans adopted it along with other Christian attribute names in the sixteenth century. The meaning of Grace includes charm, goodness, and generosity. In Greek mythology, the name of Grace is tied to beauty and joy.

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The first Grace who I came across was on the film screen, the film star who married Prince Rainier of Monaco in April 1956. She was blessed with the voice of an angel, as she and Bing Crosby in their duet of ‘High Society’ in 1956 demonstrated. In September 1982 she tragically died in a car crash. Monaco’s royal family was surely one of the most glamorous in the world. However, its glamour was tightly interwoven with tragedy.

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I have never personally known a female called Grace. The only Grace, apart from the late Princess of Monaco, I recall was a woman whose story I read in a newspaper. It concerned a woman who had won some ‘slimmer of the year’ contest. She had seemingly been overfed by her mother who overcompensated the love she felt for her daughter by the use /misuse of food. When she was a 12- year-old girl, her weight was 12 stone, and by the time she was 20, her weight had proportionately increased to 20 stone. And surprise, surprise, you do not need me to tell you what she weighed when she was age thirty!

By the age of 35 years, Grace had lost every relationship she had ever been in because of her overweight and lack of attractive features. Then, one day, she eventually decided that enough was enough. The ‘last straw’ which led her to join a fitness club and then a slimming club was when she was out shopping one Saturday afternoon. She had to use public transport that day as her car was in the garage getting repaired following a minor accident a few days earlier. While on the crowded double-decker bus that was almost full, the only remaining seats were upstairs on the top deck. She started climbing in trepidation and found it impossible to negotiate the narrow spiral staircase with her shopping bags. Someone behind her (who was also trying to get a seat on the top deck) kindly relieved her of her bags which were passed like a party parcel game to the bottom. Despite this passenger help from behind, the frame of her grossly overweight body was too large to physically negotiate bus stairs.

The upshot was that the woman stopped and was unable to move. The more she tried, the more it hurt. Passengers could neither ascend the spiralling stairs nor come down. The Fire Brigade was called, and until they managed to cut away the stair rail which climbing passengers used to steady themselves, Grace could not be extricated from her embarrassing dilemma. It would seem that the shape of Grace’s portly body was a large round of fat, so she was not able to gain any advantage negotiating the bus staircase by turning her boy to its side (which is usually slimmer) and walking sideways like a crab.

As the woman was assisted off the bus by some ambulance attendants who had now arrived at the scene, Grace was shocked by the words of an innocent girl aged around four years. The girl said to her mum, “Why do they let fat people go on buses, Mum?” Apparently, it had been the innocent words spoken by the child that had shamed Grace more than the pantomime involving calling out the Emergency Services to rescue her that had the greatest impact on her; enough to change her lifestyle and to lose lots of weight over the immediate years ahead. Requiring the Fire Service to cut her free from the bus staircase made her feel like a rescued creature, like a cat who had foolishly climbed too high up into the branches of a tall tree and who could not get back down. Grace felt that it had been her own foolish behaviour that had placed her in her dire predicament, and that she was being saved from ‘her own foolish behaviour’.

That article I read, got me thinking about the power that hearing a person’s words formed in a question can have upon any individual at a certain time in their life. I have heard of how a passing pedestrian on a bridge smiled as she walked by another individual before realising that the other person was considering jumping off the bridge in a suicidal leap. She simply said as she approached the other person, Good morning there, but is everything alright? You look to be lost?” The brief intervention proved sufficient to make the bridge jumper ‘think again’ and decide against ending their life. As a Probation Officer for nearly thirty years in West Yorkshire, I came to learn how important it can be to ask the most relevant question in the trapped mind and body of a troubled person, at the right times in their life. For instance, many adults who had been sexually abused in childhood and had repressed their experiences and had never spoken about them, crave to be asked the question, “Have you ever been sexually abused?”, because there will be times in their life when their reduced level of repression might lead them to say, “Yes!” before breaking down in tears and unleashing an emotional dam of sadness, anger and relief!

I smoked cigarettes for fifty years of my life (from the age of 12 years to 62 years). Despite being one of the foremost authorities on Relaxation Training in the country by the 1970s, and knowing the physical harm that smoking tobacco did to a person, I ignored all medical advice, and despite having two heart attacks in the same week that almost killed me when I was aged 60 years, I did not quit smoking until two years later after I had admitted that I was a tobacco addict, and if I did not want to die before my time I had better stop now! Many doctors, medics, and all manner of professionals had often asked me ‘why I did not give up smoking cigarettes?’ but at the time, I was just another of those people who thought he knew better. The time was not right to be asked that question because I was not mentally and psychologically prepared to answer it.

When the time was right, a new trainee dentist in Mirfield asked one morning while she was engaged in some hygienic work in my mouth, “Why does a man of your apparent intelligence still smoke cigarettes, Mr. Forde, when surely you know that they will eventually kill you? Meanwhile, they make your breath stink of stale tobacco, like an old ashtray!”

Like the girl on the bus who saw Grace stuck up the staircase, the question from the junior dentist had been voiced at the right moment of my life; at a time when I was prepared to take it on board for serious consideration. Her factual truth of stinking like an old ashtray blew my mind apart as I considered how bad it must be for a non-smoker being partnered with a heavy smoker? In truth, were I living my life again I would not date, make love to or marry any woman who smoked tobacco. In my day of the late 50s and early 60s we were even led to believe that smoking cigarettes looked sexy, was good for one’s adult image, and even relaxed the smoker!

I have become more interested in the notion of the country and the world moving wholly towards matching personal health circumstances (that are induced by the individual by adopting an unhealthy lifestyle) with the responsibility of having to take the consequences of one’s own action. While I do not advocate that people who abuse their own bodies through a ‘ life choice’ of putting the wrong things in the body in abundance in the pursuit of pleasure and hedonism, while doing the wrong things with one’s body or not doing enough of the right things, should never be denied free access to the NHS, I believe that all such people (who have not yet reached the stage of substance addiction), should be placed farther down the list to receive NHS treatment, than all other patients whose medical condition has not been brought about and aggravated through their choice of lifestyle. Why should a person whose lust, gluttony, greed, overindulgence of any substance, be it sex, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food and a total absence of exercise receive priority medical help at the expense of individuals who have paid the same amount of tax and who have chosen to adopt a much healthier lifestyle?

Before I receive a load of negative comments because my words have not been properly read or correctly interpreted, please note that I exclude from my list of NHS treatment demotion all those current addicts who can never make the correct choice until their health is restored and until their addiction is broken, I also exclude all other medical conditions that are a result of circumstances beyond the individual’s control, and where no choice has been exercised, because no choice could be at the time. Subsequently, all people choosing to take all manner of addictive drugs and adopt all types of unhealthy lifestyles tomorrow, with the information at their disposal today, I would place further down the NHS priority treatment list.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 18th May 2021

18/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to four Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Heather Thompson who lives in Haworth, West Yorkshire, England: Yvonne Gwendoline Bodily who lives in Northampton, Northamptonshire, England: Mitzy Shannon who lives in Bellevue, Pennsylvania, USA. Finally, we wish a happy birthday to Helen Kiely who lives in Kilkenny, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘In the Air Tonight’. This song was the debut solo by the English drummer and singer-songwriter, Phil Collins. It was released as the lead single from Collins's debut solo album, ‘Face Value’ over thirty years ago in January 1981.

Collins co-produced the single with Hugh Padgham, who became a frequent collaborator in the following years. The song climbed to Number. 2 on the ‘UK Singles Chart’ and was held off the top spot by the posthumous release of John Lennon’s ‘Woman’. It reached Number 1 in Austria, Germany, Switzerland, and Sweden, and the top 10 in Australia, New Zealand, and several other European territories. It peaked at Number 19 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart in the United States, and reached Number 2 on the ‘Rock Tracks Chart’, later being certified Gold by the RIAA, representing 500,000 copies sold. The song's music video, directed by Stuart Orme, received heavy play on MTV when the new cable music video channel launched in August 1981.

‘In the Air Tonight’ remains one of Collins' best-known hits, often cited as his signature song, and is especially famous for its drum break towards the end, which has been described as "the sleekest, most melodramatic drum break in history" and one of the ‘101 Greatest Drumming Moments’. The song was ranked at number 35 on VHI’S ‘100 Greatest Songs of the 80s’ in 2006. In 2007, the song became widely referred to as a ‘soft rock classic’. The inspiration for Collins to write the song came amid the grief he felt after divorcing his first wife Andrea Bertorelli in 1980.

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Forgive my momentary lapse of memory in my video introduction to this song when I inaccurately described the television ad with a bear on the drums. That was misspoken and should have been a gorilla. As a large part of the television viewing nation, the Phil Collins Gorilla Drummer that advertised Cadbury’s milk chocolate was one of the few television advertisements that I did not switch off or turn away from whenever it appeared on the tv advertisements. It is one of the most haunting tunes and drum beats I have ever heard as there is an air of mystery surrounding it.

My mother often referred to our ‘seventh sense’ that she envisaged as a form of ‘second sight. I was brought up ‘half believing’ that some people are born with ‘second sight’, and being a ‘special child’ (something which my mother would daily remind me of throughout my childhood), I was led to expect such occasions in my life. When I review my 78 years of life so far, there have been forewarnings, and premonitions, which have come to be and for which there was no reason for me knowing in advance or requiring any explanation.

My life began with a prophesy (according to my mother) that when she was two months pregnant with me (her firstborn of seven children), that a peg-selling Romany traveller visited my grandparent’s home in Portlaw, Waterford where she lived and where I was subsequently born. Mum had only recently discovered that she was pregnant a few days earlier and had not told anyone about it yet. Believing that it was bad luck to leave a Romany traveller selling their wares to go away empty-handed, mum bought some of her goods and the gypsy bestowed a good luck blessing on her house instead of a curse. After selling her a few pegs, the fortune-telling gypsy said to my mother, “For another sixpence, missus, I will tell you about the child you are expecting. My mother’s Irish background of superstition, plus the fact that she was not yet showing any signs of carrying a child, immediately raised her curiosity level, and so she urged the traveller to tell her about me. The Romany said that I would be a boy and the oldest of seven children in total and that I would be born a ‘special child’. The Romany, having secured mum’s attention, added that for another sixpence she would tell my mother about the nature of my ‘specialness’. In for a shilling already, mum paid the extra sixpence.

The true story is the last published story I ever wrote. It is called ‘The Postman Always Knocks Twice’, and it can be accessed and read for free from my website under the ‘Tales from Portlaw’ section. If you prefer to read the full story in either e-mail format or hardback, the works can be purchased from Amazon or any reputable book retailer. All profits from its sale (along with the sale of any of my books) will be given to a charitable cause in perpetuity. Over £200,000 was given to charity from every penny book-sale profit between 1990-2003.

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At the age of 11 years, following a serious traffic accident that almost killed me, I heard the hospital doctor tell my parents at the foot of my hospital bed that I would be dead by the morning. I knew as soon as he had spoken these words that they would not be true. I also knew I would walk again after a spinal injury prevented me walking for a period of three years.

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When I was living in Canada, I worked in a Toronto hotel on the night shift. My accommodation was 15 miles away from my job. One day, I arrived at work to discover that my wallet and flat keys were missing. I had either left them at home and had left my flat unlocked or I had lost them on the way in. Because we bought bus fare in advance of use, I knew I had not paid for a bus ticket that morning. I knew that there would be nobody awake when I returned around 5:00 am, and I had a fear of having to hang around in the cold outside until one of the other flat mates rose for the day. After my shift, I walked 15 miles back to my flat and for some strange reason knowing that I had no keys to get back in, I prayed all my way home that the door would have been left unlocked by me when I had gone out to work earlier. I turned the doorknob, but the door did not open. Then, for some strange reason, I said three ‘Hail Marys’ and I blessed myself with the sign of the cross. I then felt this strong premonition to try the door again. To my relief, it opened.

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When I was in my 40s, I entered Leeds Hospital with all the signs of having possible kidney cancer. I had been brought in for extensive tests and an operation if required. All weekend in the hospital after my Monday morning tests, I felt I would be okay. I don’t know why, but I believed that the hospital tests would reveal that the cancer signs that I had shown earlier to my GP would no longer be present instead of being medically confirmed. Thankfully, I was clear, and all signs of kidney cancer did not return.

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In my mid-twenties, I attended the baptism of a cousin and during the service, I had this premonition that the child would die. I said nothing but six weeks later, the child died. It had not been known to be ill at its Christening service.

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In my early sixties, I had two massive heart attacks within the same week and the hospital medics told my family that I would die. During the three days, I was in a coma, my son told one of his siblings that he dare not go home to rest just in case I died after he had left the ward. From my semi-conscious state, I heard the conversation at the end of my bed. I knew that I was not going to die from my heart attacks and said to my son, “Go back home and get some sleep, son!” I also seemingly dismissed a nurse who I thought was pestering me.

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Since I developed several terminal body cancers from 2013onward, I have been back and forth to hospitals. I have had twelve life-saving cancer operations in the past seven years, most of them under full aesthetic lasting hours at a time (seven hours being my longest operation to press). I have never once had the feeling as I went to sleep under the aesthetic that I would not survive the operation.

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It is only during this past few months since I have been told that there is not anything medical that can be further done for me to prevent my inevitable death. I have been accepted on to a drug trial (not as a cure but as a palliative treatment that might extend my life). All my feelings of any previous certainty have realistically altered to cope with the probability of me now being in my final year of life. I do not foresee my death, nor do I want to. I just hope that any future premonitions, if any, will concern my remaining days of life on this side of the green sod.

What I was told from childhood by my mother, and what I strongly believed as I grew into manhood is that my birth was foreseen by a peg-selling Romany traveller of the road, who for the price of one or two sixpences conferred upon me the honour of being ‘special’. Every day thereafter, whenever I managed to do something ordinary in a more extraordinary way, my mother simply believed that it was the gypsy’s palm-reading prophesy coming true. The Romany had conferred my specialness, along with the sale of a few wooden pegs, and every time I achieved anything unusual or of significance, my mother confirmed my specialness by telling me that my achievement was simply down to me being special.

The first thirty years of my life were spent by me believing that I am ‘special’. I then found out that I was indeed ‘special’ but so was every other individual on the planet. I have devoted the last fifty years of my life telling all people at every opportunity ‘how special they are’, and that their lives can only begin in earnest the day they accept that fact and award themselves the self-love they deserve.

Now, don’t forget, this is an Irishman telling you this. I am the first of seven children, and I was born to a mother who was herself the first of seven children. I am telling you this truth today about your own ‘specialness’. All you need to do is to accept it and own it, and to consider it to be the best prophesy of your life. And not one of you needed to buy one of my wooden pegs to receive this prophecy from this Irish traveller.

Love and peace,
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 17th May 2021

17/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to five Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday. We wish a happy birthday to James Doyle, and Paddy Murphey who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Breda O Leary who lives in Carlow, Ireland: Julia Kasyankova who lives in Kostroma, Russia: Anna Turvey who lives in Haworth, West Yorkshire, England. Enjoy your special day and thank you for being my Facebook Friend.

My song today is ‘I Am I Said’. This song was written and recorded by Neil Diamond and was released as a single in March 1971. It slowly climbed the charts, then eventually rising to Number 4 on the ‘US Pop Singles Chart’ by May 1971. It fared similarly across the Atlantic, reaching Number 4 on the ‘UK Pop Singles Chart’.

'I Am... I Said' took Diamond four months to compose. One of his most intensely personal efforts, Neil Diamond told Mojo Magazine July 2008 that this song came from a time he spent in therapy in Los Angeles. He said:

“It was consciously an attempt on my part to express what my dreams were about, what my aspirations were about, and what I was about. And without any question, it came from my sessions with the analyst. The song was written in an attempt to find himself.

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As Neil Diamond himself explained in his press interview, the song was a conscious effort to find himself following a period in therapy. When I heard this song for the first time it took me back to the scriptures and the biblical reference from John 8:24 in which Jesus states: "For unless you believe that I am, you will die in your sins", and later the crowd attempts to stone Jesus in response to his statement in John 8:58: "Before Abraham was, I am.”

Each of us represents the love of Christ; indeed, we are the very embodiment of Christ’s love. In God’s image was mankind created, and it in his love we are nourished with the goodness of humankind.

Love and peace Bill xxx

Song For Today: 16th May 2021

16/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to one Facebook friend, Se MacCrait who live Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Enjoy your special day, Se, and thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Walking on Sunshine’. This song was written by Kimberley Rew for ‘Katrina and the Waves’ 1983 eponymous debut full-length album. The re-recorded version was the album's second single and reached Number 4 in Australia, Number 9 in the United States, and Number 8 in the United Kingdom. It was the Waves' first US top 40 hit, and their biggest success in the United Kingdom until ‘Love Shines a Light’ in 1997. Originally conceived of as a ballad, Katrina Leskanich decided to belt the song out as a more upbeat song.

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The image instantly created by the title of this song perfectly matches the words of the song. The repeated chorus line: “I’m walking on sunshine, and don’t it feel so good?” sums up the message of the song.

Love knows no reason. It is born in heaven and resides in a halo of hope. It lives in truth and light, it sets no limitation as to how far it can take togetherness, and there is no boundary to the prospects of positivity and possibility. Love has but one purpose, and that is for two romantics to remain happy as one.

When you are in love, you are 'walking on sunshine'.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 15th May 2021

15/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to our neighbours, Andrea and Brian Leathley, who live a few doors away from us. It is Andrea’s and Brian’s 11th wedding anniversary today. Each year, it is largely down to the organisational skills of Andrea and her husband that Haworth gets its superb 1940’s weekend, set in the era of the ‘Second World War’ years and all the memories and community spirit this time evokes for the senior citizen who is proud to be British. Haworth’s 1940’s weekend attracts tens of thousands of visitors for miles around who come to this old Victorian village in remembrance. I consider the Haworth 1940s weekend to be the unmissable event of the year. We thank Andrea and Brian for their unstinting charitable work throughout the years for all the 1940s weekends, along with their army friends who bring their tanks and their jeeps into our quaint village. We also thank everyone who dresses for the occasion in wartime clothes. Enjoy your wedding anniversary, Andrea, and Brian. Love Bill and Sheila xx

I also dedicate today’s song to four Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Robert Power, and Anthony Lyons, and Allison Murphey who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Finally, we wish a happy birthday to Cathy O Neill who also comes from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in Kanturk, Cork, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today takes on that loving flavour of the moment. It is ‘Say You’ll Marry Me’ which I first heard sung by Neil Diamond but which I humbly present to you in my style and interpretation.

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If there is one question that every romantic asking it would like to know the answer to in advance, it is “Will you marry me?”. This is especially true if the question of marriage is being proposed in public. There is always a part of me that thinks “She’d better say ‘yes’ or he’ll look a right plonker!” I’m also willing to admit that there will have been times in my past when I have waited in wicked anticipation for the woman who is being proposed to look utterly stunned, perplexed and flummoxed with this surprised Jack-in-the-Box surprise. A part of my wicked side has waited for her to say, “ No way, Jose! Who the hell do you think I am? Do you think that I’m the type of woman to be ‘presumed’ and taken for granted? Just because I have slept with you a couple of times, doesn’t mean, I’ll go as far as marrying you. Just because I’ve seen you in your dirty underpants, doesn't mean I’m prepared to wash them for you for the rest of my life! What do you take me for; a ‘yes’ woman?”

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 14th May 2021

14/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to four Facebook friends We wish a happy birthday to Kieran Danagher who lives in Cork, Ireland: Liam Keegan who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Ben Duggan who comes from Portlaw and lives in Waterford. Ireland: Orla Lawlor who lives in Carlow, Ireland. Enjoy your special day and thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Lay Down Sally’. This song was performed by Eric Clapton, and written by Clapton, Marcella Detroit (as Marcy Levy, the diminutive form of her birth name), and George Terry. It appeared on his November 1977 album ‘Slow hand’, and reached Number 3 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart.

‘Lay Down Sally’ is a country blues song. Clapton explained, "It's as close as I can get, being English, but the band being a Tulsa band, they play like that naturally. You couldn't get them to do an English rock sound, no way. Their idea of a driving beat isn't being loud or anything. It's subtle."

The single was a crossover country music hit, reaching Number 26 in April 1978, Clapton's best showing on the ‘Hot Country Songs’ chart. "Lay Down Sally" was a significant part of the soundtrack of the 2013 film ‘August: Osage County'.

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There is nothing that I can say about this song apart from the fact that I love the sound, the beat, the marvellous guitar playing of Eric Clapton, and the entire production of the song. It is as close to perfect as I can imagine country music being.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 13th May 2021

13/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to my nephew, Marcus Thorpe, who lives in Stoke-on-Trent, England with his wife, Ellie, and their 6-year-old son, Jaxon. Enjoy your special day, Marcus. Uncle Billy and Sheila xx

I also wish a happy birthday to two Facebook friends. Happy birthday to Mahboob Nawas who lives in Keighley, West Yorkshire, England, and Paul Dower who lives in Waterford, Ireland. Enjoy your special day and thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Girl, you’ll Be a Woman Soon’. This song was written by American musician Neil Diamond, whose recording of it on ‘Bang Records’ reached Number 10 on the ’US Pop Singles’ chart in 1967. The song enjoyed a second life when it appeared on the 1994 Pulp Fiction soundtrack, performed by rock band ‘Urge Overkill’.

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Womanhood’ is frequently complained about by men and women, but of one thing, there surely is no disagreement, ‘being a woman is hard’. It has always been so. There is too much expected of her, and there is always too much to do. How can it possibly be otherwise in a man-made world?

Take any day of the week for instance, unless a woman takes it upon herself to let her presence be known, too infrequently, she will not even be noticed by male company, unless she is dressed to please man’s taste and whet man’s appetite, thereby making her feminine presence impossible to ignore as a sexual object.

When I was starting my career as a Probation Officer in my thirties, I had a colleague who not only helped rid myself of a lot of the prejudicial crap that I still unknowingly carried around in my bag of sexual discrimination. I came to respect her views enormously. She was the daughter of a black American and white Wolverhampton mother, and although she was born and reared in Wolverhampton, she had been steeped in the history of American slavery, I don’t think she realized how ‘black’ she came across. Her name was Cath, and she essentially taught me that young girls do not have to grow up to be damsels in distress, always waiting for a knight in shining armour to come along and save the day. She would also occasionally remind me that all beautiful princesses have long blonde hair.

Cath had mothered two children, one boy, and one girl. She had a good university degree and had married a black American university lecturer. Being the early 1970s, she was in many ways fearless to illustrate racist behaviour and call it out whenever/wherever she encountered it. Many office colleagues found her views too radical and generally avoided her. I recall her once telling me that she had no intention of ever experiencing having the racist behaviour displayed towards her children by any white citizen who believed themselves to be better. Neither was she going to dress her daughter down to cover her black beauty. Like all parent’s daughters, she would be allowed to grow up as their princess, but Cath would make sure that she went into the battle between the racist and the sexist armed with much more than lipstick and a combe. Her daughter could be a princess, and she saw it as her task to make her a warrior princess.

In later years when I became a mentor or tutor to female Probation Officers, I would always tell them at the start of our supervisory relationship that what I would teach and advise them was controlled by the belief that they entered the Probation Service, being treated differently to their male Probation-Officer colleagues and they would have to be tougher, smarter and use everything at their disposal to stay on equal terms. I know this sounds terrible today, but it was the way it was then. A woman Probation Officer doing court duties at the time, and arriving at court dressed improperly (not wearing a dress or a fashionable skirt would be sent back to the probation office and not return until she was properly attired.

Much of the sexist behaviour, like the racist images we might carry at the back of our minds, had been in the heads of the male, white, ruling classes for centuries and was not ever going to disappear overnight through the re-education of a few males playing lip service. My own greatest inhibition to changing my own sexist views involved the display of behaviour I had readily shown until I approached forty years of age. I had always enjoyed being in female company and in truth, I knelt at the altar of a woman’s beauty. I suppose that the main difference during my early years of greater awareness was to recognise the beauty of the woman in more than the physical attractiveness of her body form, her waist-line and the shape of her legs. As I grew older, I found that women who are less concerned about the aging process of their body than their mind far more compelling to be with.

I have always held a secret admiration for females who want to be a powerful woman, and a level-headed businesswoman when they want to influence the boardroom, and yet knows how to play the role of the little woman or the sexy wife when it is to her benefit. I have always felt that a woman’s most powerful traits are her intuition and her femininity, and if used to best advantage, the men in her life will always be playing ‘catch up’. Margaret Thatcher was the master and mistress of this role.

Yes, being a woman will always be hard, as there is so much for them to do, and so many expectations to be satisfied. They have stereotypes to break, along with the balls of men whenever required. They have jobs to excel at, families to care for, lives to lead, friends to hang out with, and overall, a world to run from behind the cushy armchairs of men. It is so easy for a woman to get lost in her own multiple tasks, making sure that everything gets done, they forget to look to the women who paved the way for such awesomeness; the Caths of the world who did not hang around for men to give them approval or power; they took it themselves! Cath knew that behind every successful woman stands a tribe of successful and independent women who have each other’s back. Let the men try to tear down the woman’s reputation should they wish to waste their energy, for the more they pull down, the more that women will build back up.

I will leave the last words to be said about womanhood to be by Amy Schumer, an American stand-up comedian, and actress of the New Millennium. Amy said,” If I say I’m beautiful…if I say I’m strong, you will not determine my story; I will.”

So, hang in there, women of the world. Take what is yours because if you hang around waiting for any man to grant it to you, you will wait in vain. Seize your destiny, and validate your own actions. Tell your own story. And if you are wise, you will look the challenge in the eye, smile wryly, and wink as you dispel a silent fart in the direction of a group of smelly men.

Love and peace
Bill xxx.

Song For Today: 12th May 2021

12/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to three Facebook friends today. We wish a happy birthday to Monty Scargill who lives in Cleckheaton. West Yorkshire, England: Peggy Barry who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland, and Lorraine 0 Gorman who also lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Monty, Peggy, and Lorraine, enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is “I’ve Loved and Lost Again.” This song was sung by Patsy Cline in her third compilation album.

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When each of us falls in love, we naturally plan to stay in love, but unfortunately, ‘staying in love’ is much harder than falling in love. For a start, ‘falling in love’ can be both illusional or real, and it is an experience we do not will; it just happens! Falling in love is a romantic event that lies largely beyond our control, whereas if we do find ourselves in love, we do exercise some influence as to whether we stay in love.

We can love another person to distraction and then find that they do not love us back, or even if they do, they do not love us in the same way and with the same degree of intensity as we love them. Love means so many different things to different people. What I do believe is that love lasts, as long as love is. That is my belief.

I believe that for love to last, love must ‘be’. Love must be beneficial: love must be constant: love must be true: love must be of the real world and not that of the imagined. For love to be beneficial, it needs to be a tangible, positive and self-enhancing presence in our life. Whether it be our thoughts, our feelings, or our actions, love does not lead to negative thoughts, love does not make us feel unhappy or unwanted, and love does not influence us to look backward. If love does not make one float above all care and concern, then it is not 'love' we feel but sheer physical attraction or mere infatuation that stirs and confuses us.

When I am in love, I possess the strength and determination of a titan and can take on the world if need be. And though it is love that positively guides me and my partner, the flip side of your love can show selfishness that excludes all other people in the world from your orbit of contentment. When one is in love, the world and all its inhabitants can choose to do its own thing, and its consequences will not unduly concern you. So long as your world contains yourself and your loved one in splendid isolation, all others temporarily take second place in your overall list of immediate concerns.

For our love to last, we need to be able to see it, feel it, sense it, and touch it! We also need to hear it. So often I have heard a marriage partner or a parent say to their spouse or child, “I may not say it often or demonstrably show it with hugs, cuddles, and kisses, but you know I love you?“ Oh no, they don’t! Whoever we are, as humans we need reassurance, and the only way that one person can reassure another that they are loved is by reaffirmation; by telling them so with the words “I love you” and reaffirming that assertion by showing and demonstrating their love, by touch, cuddles, hugs, kisses, etc.

Though love can be everlasting, it is always of the moment. While there is no shelf-life on the extension of true love, while love can last forever, it rarely does. Love is constant in its presence, and it is constant in its benefits. However, to remain constant in its positive impact, love needs to be constantly nurtured, never neglected. Just like a fresh pint of milk or the fresh loaf of bread, if not consumed at its best, and left neglected, it will go sour to taste and stale to touch. Love lives as long as life is breathed into it, but when we leave love out on the wing unattended and alone, it will surely die.

However often one hears the old adage that it is ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, I believe that assertion to still run true.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 11th May 2021

11/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to four Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Margaret Griffin who lives in Clonmel, Ireland, and Jolene Rae-Walsh who lives in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, England. We also celebrate the birthday of Paddy Lonergan who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland, and Ann Marie Walsh Flavin who comes from Portlaw (the Irish village of my birth) and who currently lives in Waterford, Ireland. Enjoy your special day Margaret, Jolene, Paddy, and Ann. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘War’. This is a Bob Marley song that I feel is entirely reflective of the life he lived and the internal struggles he spent coming to terms with. It is not the most well-known of his songs, but is, in my mind, one of his best.

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Forty years ago, Robert Nesta Marley OM (6 February 1945 – 11 May 1981) died. There have been many singers who have influenced their style of singing in their musical career but rarely do we come across one who helped to put their country on the map. Bob Marley (as he was generally known) most certainly breaks this mold. His songs were politicised and popularised to such an extent, that it is impossible to walk down any Jamaican road without hearing Marley’s voice and the sound of his backing group, coming across the airwaves of some transistor radio or ghetto blaster. Anyone hearing his voice anywhere in the world will know the singer’s name.

Bob Marley was born in Nine Mile, British Jamaica. His former home has been turned into a shrine and museum today, and I was pleased to visit the premises during my 2001 stay in Jamaica. He began his professional musical career in 1963, after forming Bob Marley and the Wailers. The group released its debut studio album ‘The Wailing Wailers’ in 1965, which contained the single ‘One Love/People Get Ready’. The song was popular worldwide and established Marley and the group as a rising figure in reggae. The Wailers subsequently released eleven further studio albums; while initially employing louder instrumentation and singing. The group began engaging in rhythmic-based song construction in the late 1960s and early 1970s, which coincided with the singer's conversion to Rastafari. During this period Bob Marley relocated to London, and the group embodied their musical shift with the release of the album ‘The Best of the Wailers’ in 1971.

Marley’s life as a Jamaican singer, songwriter, and musician led him to be considered a major pioneer of reggae. He successfully fused reggae, ska and rock into his own distinctive vocal and musical style. For over a decade he became a global figure in pop culture. He infused his music with a sense of spirituality. He was controversial in his outspoken support for the legalization of marijuana, while he also advocated for Pan Africanism.

In 1977, Marley was diagnosed with acral lentiginous melanoma, an illness from which he died in 1981. His fans around the world expressed their grief, and he received a state funeral in Jamaica. The greatest hits album ‘Legend’ was released in 1984, and it became the best-selling reggae album of all time. Marley also ranks as one of the best-selling artists of all time, with estimated sales of more than 75 million records worldwide. He was posthumously honoured by Jamaica soon after his death with a designated Order of Merit by his nation. In 1994, he was inducted into the ‘Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’, and Rolling Stone ranked him Number 11 on its list of the ‘100 Greatest Artist of All Time’.

Today we remember the life and death of Bob Marley, who was a man who always seemed to be in an internal war of one kind or another, with his song ‘War’. I first heard this song when I was spending time out in Jamaica at the turn of the New Millennium while liaising with the Jamaican Minister of Education and Youth Culture and working closely with thirty-two Falmouth schools.

At the turn of 2000, the late South African President, Nelson Mandela (who had read three of my African books) phoned me at my home in Mirfield, West Yorkshire via a three-way Home-Office telephone link. Mr. Mandela told me, “I have read two of your African books, Mr. Forde, and thought they were wonderful stories. I just had to let you know”. Naturally, the telephone call had shocked, surprised, and elated me. Within two days of Mr. Mandela’s telephone call to me, the news item had been picked up and flashed across the world by the global television channel, News 24.

Within the month of this news item about Nelson’s Mandela praise for my writing, I was holidaying in Jamaica with my family. Before that holiday had transpired, the Jamaican education authorities had approached me. The Jamaicans idolised Nelson Mandela and whoever’s writing the great man had praised was ‘good enough for them'. The Jamaican education authority asked me to write some books about Falmouth Jamacia that put Jamaica in a good light. They also required valuable school resources to be raised in Falmouth schools which were severely lacking adequate educational funding. Falmouth is one of the poorest parts of Jamaica and used to be the slave capital of the world centuries earlier. I agreed to help, but on the condition that they also helped me to do two things.

Back in Yorkshire, England, I wanted to raise awareness between the cultures of different cultures, and I especially wanted to reduce racism in attitude and action between black and white pupils. To do this, I sought permission to involve every one of the thirty-two Falmouth schools in a Trans-Atlantic Pen-Pal Project. The Falmouth schools would be paired with thirty-two Yorkshire schools of predominantly white pupils, and every child in all sixty-four schools would write to each other monthly. Through a greater understanding between these ten thousand black and white pupils who were separated by the Atlantic Ocean, it was hoped that racism between black and white would be reduced (which it undoubtedly was). Never before had over 5,000 Yorkshire school children realised how great was the material difference between Falmouth and Yorkshire. The money for this entire project was mostly raised by the thirty-two Yorkshire schools along with the contributions from every business concern and shop in my hometown of Mirfield. By January 1st, 2000, the first two thousand Jamaican books had been written, published, and shipped across to Falmouth to stock school libraries and to sell to raise vital school funds. Several other charitable fund-raising ventures were undertaken by myself and many Mirfield friends over the coming year to fund another two thousand books being shipped across for sale. Within three years, approximately £30,000 of school items had been purchased from the sales of my books, and in grateful appreciation to myself, I had the honour of my books being placed on the reading curriculum of Falmouth schools.

These were happy and heady days but the stress of all this organisation, led me to have two severe heart attacks in the same week, obliging me to live a much less busy lifestyle.

For all of today’s birthday brigade and in memory of Bob Marley, I sing you ‘War’

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 10th May 2021

10/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to my sister-in-law Jill Thorp who lives in Sheffield, South Yorkshire. Jill celebrates her birthday today. Enjoy your special day, Jill, and thank you for all your help and support to me in the past. When I really needed a guardian angel, you were there for me and mine. I will never forget your love and kindness. You really are the best of sister-in-law. Love Billy xxx

I also dedicate my song today to four Facebook friends who also celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Sally Bench who lives in Brighouse, West Yorkshire, England: Martin Fitzgerald who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, County Tipperary, Ireland: Helen Edge who comes from Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, England. Finally, I wish a happy birthday to my good friend, Janusz Kwiatkowski who lives in Rzeszow, Poland. I hope that you all enjoy your special day.

Today’s song is ‘I Don’t Know How to Love Him'. This is a song from the 1970 album and 1971 rock and roll opera ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ that was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber (music) and Tim Rice (lyrics). This is a torch ballad sung by the character of Mary Magdalene. In the opera, she is presented as bearing an unrequited love for the title character. The song has been much recorded, with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" being one of the rare songs to have had two concurrent recordings to reach the Top 40 of the ‘Hot 100 Chart’ and the Billboard magazine.

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I first heard this song when it was originally recorded, but it resounded with me more after I heard the version that was sung by Women’s Rights singer Helen Reddy.

There are times when we have strong romantic feelings toward someone, only to discover that they do not feel the same way about us. This is known as ’unrequited love’, and it is a love that is not returned or rewarded. It is a one-sided experience that can leave one feeling pain, grief, and shame.

I once remember having a discussion if it was possible to experience ‘unrequited love’ as an adult who possessed a brain as well as a heart? I could well imagine a teenager who is inexperienced in affairs of romance, falling in love, only to discover that their strength of feelings and the intensity of the love they hold for the other person are not returned. I could well imagine the rationale of such love to be highly questionable, and to have been no more than a crush or an infatuation by someone who was immature in both age and experience, and with a need to grow up too soon.
With adults though (who I always thought ought to know better) I could never quite grasp how such a misunderstanding could come about between two grown-ups. Even kissing another tenderly on the lips has always proved sufficient to tell me if there was anything ‘going on’ between us. In fact, long before the first kiss in any potential romantic relationship, there are several signposts which either invite us to carry on or warn us that we are continuing to travel down the wrong path blindly, and to wake up and smell the coffee!

The first sight of each other will always confirm a positive or more negative impression by physical appeal alone. In my ‘Assertive and Training Groups’ that I ran for over twenty years, I always advised any group members who were about to go on a first date to be guided by common sense. ‘Common sense’ is what I consider to be the combination of the five senses most humans are born with. There are sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste, which primarily exist to tell us when we are safe and when we are in danger. Their use individually warns us of the presence of potential danger, and they collectively confirm our initial suspicion.

For example. You are a guest at a social function, and it is important to the advancement of your occupation that you favourably impress your host, who is also the boss of the firm you work at. At the social gathering, you are offered some food to eat and are specifically invited by the host to try some seafood that they found delicious. Not wanting to offend your host, you sample a small plate. In truth, the food looks unfresh and unappetising to you. You smell it before placing a portion in your mouth, and your suspicion remains. The food smells off. Your host is waiting to see you sample it and provide them with your opinion and favourable feedback. When you taste it, your worse suspicions are born out. The seafood you have digested with an enforced smile. You hear/sense your stomach, turn over, and instantly feel sick and rush to the toilet and throw up.

Surprisingly, the sequence in how we feel about a first date follows a similar route of one’s senses, that we use to judge the way we are feeling throughout our first date. Our senses inform us whether we are enjoying or disliking our dating experience or whether we feel threatened or comfortable in the other person’s presence.

Even though the looks of another is said to be in the eyes of the beholder, the first impression of most people is made within the first ten seconds of introduction, whatever is being assessed provisionally, person or property. Of course, a person can change their first impression if what they subsequently discover about the individual contradicts their earlier assessment, but as a rule, we usually try to confirm our first impression as being accurate and not provide a re-assessment by examining if we were initially wrong. Once sitting down together at the bar or around the restaurant table while ‘sight’ continues to be operative, the assessment stage automatically moves to ‘sound’. What a person sounds like largely depends on what they are saying, how they are expressing themselves, and if you find their comments interesting, stimulating, off-putting, or boring, etc.

However confidently your date expresses themself, you will soon have formed a judgement if you like the sound of their voice as much as they do themselves. The more they talk, the less opportunity you will be presented with to contribute, and vice versa. The simple fact is that some people just like the sound of their own voice too much to afford you the opportunity to get a word in edgeways. This behaviour signifies that they may also perceive themselves as being more important, and a cut above the next person at the table.

If the date is going well or badly, even the silences can prove to be a suitable indicator one way or the other. While some people may not consider themselves as important, as learned or as confident as the social company they are in, they may be naturally reluctant to contribute to the conversation without the other person’s expressed invitation and encouragement to do so. It is surprising how much a first date can change as they grow to like their new date more and feel more comfortable with the developing relationship. The change in them can be as distinctive as the silence of a church mouses creeping along the floor to chew a crumb suddenly converting to a noisy, chattering, animated, hungry rabbit chomping on a carrot it is devouring, once they begin to feel safe in the presence of the other person.

As a rule, humans find silences difficult to deal with. If silences between a couple are too frequent or too lengthy (especially on their first date) it usually indicates that things are not going so well, and the silences usually produce a level of discomfort which is apparent to both parties. While it may not often occur that one person prefers to listen more than to speak, if, in addition, they find the conversation of their date interesting and stimulating, they will not feel uncomfortable by either their silence or the silence of their date, or even their combined silence occasionally. Silences between couples who clearly like each other, often act as a signal for them to touch affectionately for the first time.

When the physical attraction of both parties is apparent from the outset, much less store is placed on what is said between the couple at the start of the evening than how it is said and in what context. In this instance, the importance of the sense of ‘sight’ will come back into greater play, along with the exchange of lengthier and more sensual looks as the couple feel more comfortable together. This is where the outstretched hand of one of the two toward the other across the table is invitingly extended (almost simultaneously) without fear of rejection upon touch. Indeed, the very sensation of the couple’s first touch of hands will further confirm or refute their current impression of 'togetherness'

By the end of the date, and after the touching of the hands is transferred for the touch of each other’s lips on the mouth, not only will both know if anything has been ‘going on’ between them. but they will also begin to formulate another impression; whether they are prepared to explore if their current feelings for each other can be safely advanced to another level, should they have future dates?

My first kiss would not tell me if I would love my first date for tonight only or forevermore, but it would certainly tell me if my date was a person with whom I could ‘fall in love’ were we to continue seeing each other and allowing an emotional attachment and commitment between us to come into play.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 9th May 2021

9/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to three people who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Tracy Green from Mirfield, West Yorkshire: Debbie O’Callahan who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Dermot Edward Walsh who lives in the village of my birth, Portlaw, County Waterford, Ireland. We hope that you enjoy your special day.

My song today is ‘Everyday is a Winding Road’. This song is the second single from American singer and songwriter Sheryl Crow's 1996 eponymous album. Neil Finn, the lead singer of ‘Crowded House’, provides backing vocals. The album covers topics of American life, relationship breakups, and moral and ethical issues such as drug-taking. It encompasses a variety of music genres such as rock, blues, country, and folk.

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Whenever I hear this song, I automatically consider it to be analogous to our journey of life. In the chorus is repeated the sentences:
“Every day is a winding road, I get a little bit closer.
Every day is a faded sign, I get a little bit closer
to feeling fine.”

Every moment of joy in my life, each surprise, every disappointment, every fear, or bout of pain, each smile, every laugh, all my happiness, every breath taken, every love expressed; all these things that come unexpectedly to us for the most part, we take on board and deal with them during our everyday journey. Indeed, it is the amalgamation of those things that eventually come to map out our route and steer our compass through stormy weather and days of meteorological calm and settledness.

Just as nature rarely gives us the same type of weather long enough for our bodies to seasonally adjust to, our journey through life will experience as many changes and challenges to cope with. We shall experience gale forces, choppy weather, sunny days, rainy days, drought, intense heat, hunger, and moments of plenty. Providing our showers in life are followed by sufficient sunlight that heralds rainbows to walk beneath, we shall always have hope of a brighter tomorrow, as we continue to walk between clouds of uncertainty that sometimes threaten and clear, and on other occasions rain relentlessly As we daily walk through valleys of moral mazes that have but one end for the righteous person, we develop character strengths we never knew we possessed.

It is the culmination of millions and millions of experiences of the moment which make up my lifetime, and which have sustained me during my journey of Thanksgiving. Little did my mother know, or I suspect, that after bringing me into the world, like all the mothers before her, she could prepare me, and even start me on my journey, but know that she would have to let me travel without her after putting me on the righteous path to follow. There is never a more heart-breaking moment for a loving mother and son than when they uncouple our hands, not knowing when they will next be entwined.

From that day after I had flown my mother’s nest, I have walked alongside all manner of life’s pilgrims, living the life my mother gave birth to, and which God enabled to be born. The road has never been straight for me, but it has always wound and curved with possibility. Though it has never been possible to see the nature of tomorrow’s road to travels as one twists and turns at every corner reached to view twists and turns ahead, I have always been able to visualise the next signpost in the distance, and have never once felt lost. Although I have never possessed the capacity to see around the next bend that winds ahead, there has always been an awareness about me that I cannot fully explain; a belief born in of the certainty of the moment however uncertain the inclement weather conditions seem to be.

My greatest certainty (especially in my life stages of child and old man) is that I have never walked my path alone, and I have had purpose and conviction in every stride I have taken. There have been times when I have been strong enough to walk for days on end without stopping breath. There have been many times from my first major accident and illness at the age of 11 years when I know that I have been physically carried on the shoulders of my parents, my siblings, my friends, and my God, before being placed back down on the ground to make my own way once more. In more recent times, however, such walks of endurance get more difficult each time I stop, rest, and start once more.

At this precise moment in my life, I sense that my road is running out and this increased awareness has made my mind and body too tired to travel much farther down it. Each morning I restart my journey, the signposts of my future in the distance ahead seem less faded and I imagine my ultimate destination being just beyond the horizon ahead. Until I can walk no more, I shall walk my road beneath an archway of multiple rainbows in complete certainty that I do not walk alone, and that the love I have always felt, and which is mirrored in my wife, Sheila, and that is reflected in your continuous kind actions towards me will never cease to shadow me.
Each of us who faces death remains immodest enough to think about a legacy we leave behind. Last night, was a strange night for me. I had experienced a very painful day and went to bed at 8:00 pm mentally tired and physically exhausted. I slept all night (in between the obligatory need to urinate) and it was 13 hours later when I eventually got up. My night was pain-free and unusually calmer, given the discomfort of my facial cancer bumps that are growing fast and furious along my throat and beneath my chin. I have always been a dreamer but as with all dreamers, one can go ages without having a vivid one. Last night, I dreamed all night long. It was the same dream I had repeated over and over. My dream was not sad, even though it was concerning a time after I had passed. In many ways, it was the most pleasant and satisfying of dreams I have ever had.

I know that some of you hate it when I talk about my inevitable death, but I also know that my words bring more hope than despair to even greater numbers. All of my life, ever since the age of 11 years, I have engaged in charitable work. This work came about because of a promise I made with my Maker when I heard a hospital doctor tell my parents standing at the bottom of my bed “I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Forde, but I’m afraid that your son Billy, will be dead by the morning. Even were he to somehow live, he would never walk again!” my parents were informed in the hospital sideward. Hearing these words I resolved, “Oh, no I won’t!”.

At that moment, I promised God that if HE let me live and walk that I would spend the rest of my life working for the good of others. God kept his part of the deal, and although it would be many years later in my twenties before I would remember the promise I had made, it was put into action, and was never forgotten or not acted on again. God had kept his part of the bargain with me, and I have tried to honour my side of it ever since.

Just as death is never the end, I want to leave a befitting legacy in the future that demonstrates that, and which fits the beliefs of myself and my wife Sheila perfectly. My recurring dream last night showed me the way to do this without breaking anyone’s piggy bank open. Over my life, but especially during my most arduous time during the past ten years when I have contracted four cancers. I have never felt that I have walked my road alone. Despite one dozen life-saving cancer operations during this past decade, along with other cancer courses such as chemo and radiotherapy, plus other procedures more than I can count, I have lived with three different body cancers (two of them terminal) for the past ten years.

During this last decade, I have witnessed first-hand the goodness of my fellow humans, the love they have expressed toward me and Sheila through their daily thoughts, their kind words of encouragement, their prayers, lit candles, and masses said on my behalf across the world. I know that my words and actions have been of help to so many of you during your own personal and medical difficulties, as you never allow a day to go by without kindly telling me that I have helped you by merely being me.

However, any help I have been able to give you, is no more than a mere drop in the ocean, to the mountain of love and help you have all heaped on me and Sheila during this long time. I lie not when I tell you, that over the past decade, I have felt humbled by your love. I have felt like I would imagine the most loved man in the world to feel like. I know that it has been your expressed love and willingness to walk beside me on my journey that has brought this awareness of about. I also feel that it is not that I have let you walk beside me on my road, as you have long been travelling along the same road anyway, although we are at different stages on our journey. What I feel is that we have allowed ourselves to meet up during our journey and have been content to walk alongside each other. I daily witness such selfless acts of unqualified love being expressed by you toward others, on the Facebook pages of others daily.

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I have a dream that in the future when my earth life has ended, that someone, somewhere in the world will still be able to walk alongside me as a companion of love, I have a dream that my death need not prevent that experience from happening on earth. Imagine a person who has lost their complete eyesight and are frightened to walk their road alone? Now, imagine having a lifelong friend, a good companion, and a loyal soul mate in the form and shape of a ‘Guide dog for the Blind’, who would love to have as their life purpose ‘walking this road' with you. The charity would be called ‘Walking with William’, and the name of any guide dog purchased on behalf of an unsighted person would be called ‘William’.

I spent my earlier years devoted to numerous charitable causes. Despite the many hundreds of thousands of pounds, I have raised for charity in the past, I could have raised much more had I wished. However, I never wanted to place any amount of money as being more important than the message I was bringing awareness to. Since the New Millennium and around 2003, I have never once asked any Facebook contact for money as people have their own chosen charity to support, and there are enough demands on one’s money made every day of the week. Also, even charities today are too greedy by half and are not satisfied with the occasional nominal donation of an individual’s change or small coin anymore. Like Shylock, put that £1 coin back in your pocket, they will not be satisfied until they have a pound of your flesh instead!

’Walk with William’ would be less concerned with the individual amount of contribution. I would prefer to see 1000 people give £1 each instead of receiving one single donation of £10OO. The initial target would be modest by charity-raising means. Its target would be to provide one guide dog for one unsighted person through the donations of thousands of people who know me and who have ‘Walked with William’ already and who continue to walk with me.

This is one charity I cannot organise and I will need a Facebook friend to operate it on my behalf. While remaining a substantial commitment, it is not an onerous commitment, that involves the following:
(!) Arranging a solicitor to legally set up ‘Walk with William’ as a charity of official status.

(2) Arranging to account for any donations to be given.

(3) To aim for the Guide Dog to be purchased within a three-five-year period if possible and to befriend its owner. Hopefully, the dog will be alive a dozen years later, as may you. THIS WOULD BE A ONE DOG ONLY PURCHASE as its value is in the message sent out and not the money raised. One guide dog takes about two years to train and costs a total of £30,000 covering everything from boarding a dog to extensive drilling by professional trainers in serving the needs of the blind to a weekslong period acclimating the dog to the recipient.

(4) I will ask Sheila to donate the sales profits from any future sales of my books for children, young adults, or adults solely to ‘Walk with William’ charity. Such money is nominal these days but by occasionally purchasing a book for self, friend, or family member at birthday or Christmas, you can add 50 pence a purchase to this charitable fund.

(5) I would ask anyone to whom this Charity appeals to modestly donate to the ‘Walk with William’ and to also identify one old/elderly person to walk with once a year,’ briefly. Just do something kind for them that lets them know they are not alone. It can involve something as small as a brief walk along the road, or even around their garden in the safety of not falling. Tell them that I am also walking with them in spirit as you have walked with me on my journey.

I hope that you all have a long think about helping in any modest way as suggested and that I am around for as long as possible. Any Facebook Friend of mine out there who is prepared to undertake the task of organising this Charity, please contact me privately on messenger, and if more than one applicant, I will decide on the most suitable. I am requesting that making the lifetime of the charity, long enough to pay for one Guide Dog only being sufficient. With regard to raising the required money and the lifespan of the 'Walk with William' charity, this is tantamount to a 15-year valuable experience.

Love and peace
Bill xxx

Song For Today: 8th May 2021

8/5/2021

I dedicate my song today to seven Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday today. We wish a happy birthday to Speedy G. Kavanagh, and Anthony Broxson, and Johnny Griffin, and Brenda Power Harris from Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary: Noreen Duggan Kenneally from Clonmel, Ireland:: Dagmar Turtel who lives in Cork, Ireland: Patrick Cummins who lives in Fiddown, Kilkenny, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘If You Ever Have Forever in Mind’. This song was co-written and recorded by American country music artist Vince Gill. It was released in May 1998 as the first single from the album ‘The Key’. The song reached Number 5 on the Billboard Hot Country Singles and Tracks Chart' and Number 1 in Canada. It also won Gill the Grammy Award for Best Male Country Vocal Performance’.

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Life can only be lived at its fullest once you are prepared to live each day as though it was your last and to love today as if it was forever.

Love and Peace
Bill xxx