Dancing Partner
When I was a young man, every weekend involved going out to a dance in the hope that a good night would be had or that I might meet the partner of my dreams. Indeed, I'd wager that if I'd asked ten married men and women who had met their spouse around 1950, where they had met, I'd feel confident that eight of them would have replied, "At a dance in........."
It may have been the Mecca on a weekend or at an old time or modern dance held by the firm annually you worked at. Sometimes it would have been whilst on holiday in Blackpool at 'The Tower Ballroom' or at some other holiday resort.
It may have been the Mecca on a weekend or at an old time or modern dance held by the firm annually you worked at. Sometimes it would have been whilst on holiday in Blackpool at 'The Tower Ballroom' or at some other holiday resort.
Anyone who was on the ball branded young men who hadn't managed to get married and have parented their second child before the age of twenty-three years, as being a 'Jack the Lad'. Young women, still on the shelf by the age of twenty-one feared that they were destined to live out the rest of their lonely existence as 'suspicious spinsters.' I never knew why, but when a married woman spoke about a single woman in her late twenties and described her as 'a spinster', the words always slipped poisonously from her mouth as though she was describing 'a spindly deadly spider' from whom all men folk had been fortunately saved from the trap of matrimony.
As dancing presented the best inroad to acquiring a partner for life during the 1950s whether one was rich or poor, handsome or lacking in body beautiful, one always had two sets of clothes in their wardrobe; 'everyday clothes' and 'best clothes.' By the 1960's however, a third set of clothes would be required by all; the ones we donned at weekend when we went out dancing! Consequently, we always kept our clothes dusted down and our dancing shoes highly polished, because we'd never know precisely when the dream of our life would come to sweep us off our feet.
As dancing presented the best inroad to acquiring a partner for life during the 1950s whether one was rich or poor, handsome or lacking in body beautiful, one always had two sets of clothes in their wardrobe; 'everyday clothes' and 'best clothes.' By the 1960's however, a third set of clothes would be required by all; the ones we donned at weekend when we went out dancing! Consequently, we always kept our clothes dusted down and our dancing shoes highly polished, because we'd never know precisely when the dream of our life would come to sweep us off our feet.
I would like to urge all ladies out there, particularly those among you whose confidence has been knocked, to put on your best dress and dancing shoes and to get back out on the dance floor. I'd like to tell you that when love invites you to dance, don’t be hesitant or faint-hearted. Go for it and seize the moment for all it's worth. Manage to get the man of your dreams or fail in the attempt; it's still worth trying.
Try not to think about how you look or if you come across too forward or shy. If you are meant for each other, you will both clearly see through any superficial aspects of consideration. After all, what's the worse that could possibly happen on the dance floor with hundreds of observers scattered around the room. You could possibly stumble over something or put a foot wrong and start to panic. At least if you did, you'd soon find out the precise nature of his response. Would he be an oaf and laugh at you or be a gentleman and overlook the incident as though it never happened and simply smile reassuringly and place you at ease?
Try not to think about how you look or if you come across too forward or shy. If you are meant for each other, you will both clearly see through any superficial aspects of consideration. After all, what's the worse that could possibly happen on the dance floor with hundreds of observers scattered around the room. You could possibly stumble over something or put a foot wrong and start to panic. At least if you did, you'd soon find out the precise nature of his response. Would he be an oaf and laugh at you or be a gentleman and overlook the incident as though it never happened and simply smile reassuringly and place you at ease?
Only those who 'never try' are the real losers in this life, while the rest of us represent at worst, 'progress in the making'. When asked to take the floor, don't start thinking, "Why is he asking me when Sue here is much prettier and can dance much better than me" or start considering minor details of your person. Just accept politely and walk on to the dance floor with your partner in the confidence that you won’t step on his toes or put a foot wrong. As you dance around the floor, carry your conviction that when the dance is done, you will better cope with the nature of his next response.
Your new partner may walk you back to your seat and with a polite thank you, leave you. He may escort you back to your seat and offer to buy you some refreshment, clearly indicating that his overall interest in you has lasted much longer than the dance, and that you may find your dance card ‘filled up‘ for the remainder of the evening; perhaps even to the end of your days?
When one is prepared to dance with life, there is always the possibility, that you may be lucky enough to meet a dance partner who will hold you lovingly for the rest of your days and nights and not put you down; even on those occasions in life when you forget to phone him or happen to keep him waiting.
If ever such a man should ask you to dance with him, don’t even concern yourself with minor details such as ‘who is dancing to who’s tune’. Stand up gracefully, look him admiringly in the eye, gently take hold of his hand and ‘never let him go’. Allow him to fill up your dance card for the rest of your life if needs be.
If you are wise and can recognise the budding seeds of lasting love in bloom, you’ll dance with him all night. You’ll dance with him on the public dance floor, in the garden, beneath a tree, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the beach in the moonlight, in the woods, in the rain, in all manner of places, public or private: indeed anywhere he offers you his hand.
If you are wise and can recognise the budding seeds of lasting love in bloom, you’ll dance with him all night. You’ll dance with him on the public dance floor, in the garden, beneath a tree, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the beach in the moonlight, in the woods, in the rain, in all manner of places, public or private: indeed anywhere he offers you his hand.
And of course, if you happen to be the type of woman who has loved and lost and who finds herself panicking at the consequences of emotional commitment, you can always play it safe and sit out the next dance, and the one after, and the one after that, etc, etc. To do so however, is but to retain the characteristics of a wallflower who’s destined to remain no more than a spectator of those others on the dance floor of life's loves.
Who knows, you may meet your marriage partner on the dance floor. And despite the high divorce rate, remember this; marriage may have many pains, but celibacy can be awfully lonely and has few pleasures!
So often during my life, have I come across a person who let someone they loved go, simply because they were frightened to commit to them. I look at their photo albums and see the sheer isolation and loneliness of companionship that hung upon their fatal decision to decline the request to dance. Then, I compare those sad images to the ones of bliss that can be found within the relationships of happily married couples who did dance together in the beginning and have been in step ever since.
Copyright William Forde April, 2012. (Amended April 2018).
