Blog Archives - FordeFables

April 30th, 2018.

30/4/2018

"Childhood years for every person should be the most precious and special years of one's life. For the first seven years, a child is so involved with exploring their surroundings and stretching their vivid imagination to make all things possible that their little minds are capable of thinking of and imagining. It matters not whether it be the existence of Father Christmas, elves and goblins, the man in the moon, toys that talk back and never tell your secrets, magicians pulling rabbits from empty hats or fairies at the bottom of the garden; this is their world which they are allowed to inhabit briefly before adults wake them up and clobber them with harsh reality, turning their pleasant child dream into adult nightmare.

A very important part of childhood is the nature of the fantastic dreams they invariably have. Around the age of seven years, their lives begin to change significantly and children start to dream in a more adult way. Often, in these childhood years, they dream about growing older. A few years down the line they dream about getting their first job. In their teenage years, it is quite natural to dream about becoming a man/woman and finding the partner and soul mate of one's dreams. Adults in their twenties frequently dream of marriage and parenthood and owning one's house. As a spouse, parent and homeowner, they are then known to dream of retirement and leisure to do what they always wanted to do for the rest of their life and to travel to those places they always wanted to visit and full-time occupation would never allow.

A pessimistic realist might say to such a person today, 'Dream on mate, because you've got no chance in today's world!', whereas an optimistic realist might say, 'Hold on to your dream, believe in it, follow it and it will come true'.

Which are you? ": William Forde: April 30th, 2018.

April 29th, 2018.

29/4/2018

Thought for today:
"You cannot run from your own action, erase the experience of a hurtful past by pretending it never happened, nor escape the silent screams of a tortured soul. Whenever I look at this painting (The Scream) in pastels by the Norwegian Expressionist artist Edvard Munch which he did between 1893 and 1910, I can imagine the short distance a human barely travels between sound health and mental breakdown, between sanity and madness.

Munch's painting reminds me very much of that great painter Vincent Van Gogh who was a much misunderstood and troubled soul who lived in a whirlpool of deep depression and suicidal thoughts for much of the latter half of his life, before he took it in a moment of utter despair and insanity.

About fifteen years before my dear mother died at the early age of 64 years, there was a six month-one year period when she had a complete breakdown and was mentally ill; to the point that she was in danger of harming herself. During the start of this period, she genuinely feared that she was being followed by the I.R.A. and she went to extreme lengths to avoid capture by them. She left home for weeks and months at a time without any notice and spent the bulk of that crazy year travelling from Leeds Railway Station to Kings Cross station in London. When the train arrived in London, she would travel back up North and then either phone me in the middle of the night and ask to be picked up in Leeds, Sheffield or York Railway Station. Often when I got to the stated spot to collect her and bring her back to my house, she would have travelled back down to London and re-started her cycle of back and forth all over again. Eventually, only a number of E.C.T. courses slowed her down enough to prevent her harming herself. Thankfully, her health returned to some semblance of normality for the last fiteen years of her life, and apart from smoking too much and putting on too much weight, she lived the next fifteen years as her usual happy self.

One of the best things that our current Government has done since coming into Office has been to place Mental Health on a par with Physical Health as statistics show that a significant number of citizens in Great Britain will experience one episode of mental health breakdown during their lifetime.

I include a song that I only heard a few months ago that I intend to learn after my European holiday. It is called, 'Vicent' and is sang by Don Mclean; a beatiful song about such a sad soul." William Forde: April 29th, 2018.

https://youtu.be/oxHnRfhDmrk

April 28th, 2018

28/4/2018

"Let silence take you to the core of life, the heart of nature and the essence of mankind's wholesomeness. Do not sow any seed that does not grow love or place your soft coat on a harsh jagged rock to hide the hard contour of the land in which your less fortunate neighbours live. Strip away all of your pride, place no type of work beneath you or any creature but God above you. Bow to no man or raise yourself above another and your humble garments shall not be mocked but worn with dignity, and you will feel comfortable in your own skin and the purpose you have found in life." William Forde: April 28th, 2018.

April 27th, 2018.

27/4/2018

Thought for today:
"I always remember a man called Colin who I worked with in Harrison Gardener's Dyeworks when I was in my late teens. Colin was a kind and generous person, a good farher and a faithful husband who loved his wife dearly. I will never forget him once telling me, 'I have loved my wife every day without fail since the day we married.We don't need expensive meals out and fancy holidays to keep our love solid and us both happy. All we need is lots of country walks and every day we awake to make sure that we fall in love with each other all over again'. Colin will be probably dead now as he was a good twenty years older than myself, but I never forgot his philosophy to keep love fresh and I decided to write this brief poetic memory:

'Fall in Love Again' by William Forde

'Let you and I go walking out together,
and renew our love over hills, verdant valleys, rugged moors and purple heather.

To see all of spring shine brightly in your eyes,
and to hear you speak words so simple, yet filled with meaning deep and wise.

To see your rainbow smile in dazzling sun and colourful rain,
is all I need to make me fall in love with you again.'

William Forde: Copyright: 27th, 2018.

April 26th, 2018

26/4/2018

"Look for beauty every day and in every way and you will find it all around you. Look for kindness in every touch and you will feel it where it matters. Look for good intentions in the deeds of others and you will see them act out before your eyes. Listen to the words of a friend's wisdom in your heart and you will hear it. Seek out the soul in every singer and their song will sound all the sweeter. Look no farther than family to find friends and support for life.

All you have to do is 'to do what's right' and all you need to be is 'to be yourself' to secure happiness, meaningful identity, personal satisfaction, and eternal redemption."
William Forde: April 26th, 2018.

April 25th, 2018.

25/4/2018

"My thoughts are presently on the springtime weather and sunny summer to come, given all the cold and rain we've experienced over previous months. The only satisfaction I have had during this inclement period has been to be grateful for not living in the wettest place in the whole of Great Britain; Manchester.

I am a lover of most paintings. One of our northern home-grown painters was Lowry, whose portrayal of the Salford and Manchester area over the years still fascinates me. It isn't his matchstick men that fascinates me, but more the scenes he never hardly painted that is peculiar to Manchester, more than any other city in the land.

Isn't it strange that given Manchester is renown for receiving the most bountiful of rainfalls each year, that from the hundreds of paintings that Lowry did, only one, 'The bus stop' depicts rain? Also, the figures in it are more lifelike than his matchstick men and dogs. It touches the height of my curiosity as to why such a Mancunian experience should be deliberately omitted from a lifetime of scenes from Salford and Manchester, and even makes me wonder if he had a second paid job with the Manchester Tourist Board? Let's face it, we all need a second job from time to time to get by!" William Forde: April 25th, 2018.

April 24th, 2018.

24/4/2018

Thought for today:
"Over the years since I became an author, I must have have given dozens of press interviews and have appeared on numerous local television and radio programmes. However seasoned an interviewee one becomes, often it is the simplest and most obvious questions put to one that leaves one thinking for a suitable reply. The most obvous questions are those that begin with 'W' such as, 'Why?...What?...Who?...When? or Where?'

I remember when ueen Elizabeth was pinning a medal on me, she asked, 'And what kind of books do you write Mr Forde. Somewhat stuck for a reply that seemed suitable for her royal personage I blurted spontaneously, 'Good ones, Maam.Good ones!'

During the 1990s, Jeffrey Archer was reading one of my books at a school in Slaithwaite, Huddersfield. This was a good number of years before his 4-year prison sentence in July, 2001 for perjury and perverting the course of justice for the lies he told at his libel action at the 1987 trial. At the time, despite Jeffrey being the country's 'best-selling' author, the press and literary circles were very derogatory about the quality of his literature and rarely a day went by without some press article putting the man and his work down.

Being in the public eye, Jeffrey's public reading of my book at thre school was covered by the press, local radio and the two local Yorkshire television stations. The 'Look North' television station had one reporter interviewing myself at the same time as 'Yorkshire Television' was interviewing Jeffrey. Being aware of certain interview techniques by that time, I was waiting for the 'surprise question' which is usually the one asked when the person thinks the interview has ended but the cameras are still rolling. As expected, the last question posed to me was the 'stinger'. 'There has been much publicity during the past few weeks , Mr Forde, about the quality of Jeffrey Archer's writing. How good a writer do you consider him to be?' I was asked.

With moments to respond I replied,' To tell you the truth, I couldn't say, as I must admit I've never read one of his books yet...(pause)...but I know that he has read one of mine this morning!'

Young children will always provide the most innocent and funniest answers of all. The late Richard Whiteley (television presenter of 'Countdown'), read for me on half a dozen occasions in Yorkshire schools during the 90s and early 2000s. Like another regular reader and television-presenter friend of mine, Geffrey Smith, from 'Gardener's World', these two men were firm favourites with the ladies. Whenever either read at a school for me, the place was packed to the rafters and more parents attended the reading assembly than they were children in the school. I don't know what these two men had in the charm department but I wish I could have bottled and sold it; I'd have made millions!

On the morning in question, Richard asked a six year old girl to come and sit next to him as he read from my book. He then addressed the young girl and asked,' 'Who's little girl are you?' before receiving the same answer as thousands of other adults have received in their time after posing that verey same question to one so young. As all the mums fawned and hung on every word spoken by the gently-spoken Richard Whiteley and waited for the girl's response, Richard's little helper coyly replied, 'My mummy's'.

Some press reporter once asked me twenty-eight years ago, 'What led to you becoming a writer, Mr Forde?' I didn't quite have my finger on the pulse at that time to know the answer then, but I know now, having had sixty-six books published since 1989/90.

It is because I like to remain in control of events. When you are a writer, you possess the power to say, 'This is how the story is going to end!' If only we each had the power to say that about the conclusion of our own lives?"William Forde: April 24th, 2018.

April 23rd 2018.

23/4/2018

Thought for today:
"When a feather falls to the ground and breaks the earth asunder, the Gods smile down upon mankind's fragility and inability to resist a higher force greater than themselves, however, light the substance. Was every person in the world to forcefully blow upwards at the descending feather, they would be unable to reverse gravity and the earth's natural pull and prevent it landing on the ground any more than they could pluck a feather from an angel's wing without the angel ever knowing.

Like a falsehood told in spite and malice that is intended to impugn reputation and character, once released, there is no telling where it will end up or the ultimate harm that will be done when the untruth finally comes to the ground.

Tread lightly when you speak about the character of others, for they too carry the fragility of potential slander by the mere utterance of a false word and suggestion of character assassination.

I wish that I could go back in time and take back any untruthful or uncharitable words I have ever spoken about another since I first spoke. If I could, I would willingly place any danger of ill-thought or slander against my own name instead of theirs and gladly suffer any pain or discomfort they felt instead, but sadly I know that I cannot. All I can now do is not to repeat the wrong to them or another in the future and hope to be forgiven for past trespass."William Forde: April 23rd, 2018.

April 22nd, 2018.

22/4/2018

Thought for today:
"For most of my life as a staunch socialist between the ages of 18 years and forty, you could have marked me as an ardent 'Republican' through and through. Had Oliver Cromwell still been around then, there would have been nothing square about my head and I would most certainly have joined his gang!

And yet, like millions of children who were reared in the 40's and 50's, I was brought up a 'Monarchist'. I even recall having been elected to sing 'In a Golden Coach lies a heart of gold riding through old London town' at a school concert when Queen Elizabeth the Second got crowned on June 2nd, 1953. This was about ten months before a horrific traffic accident that left me crippled for three years.

When I was growing up on Windybank Estate in West Yorkshire, I recall being one of many thousands of children waving little flags stood by the Liversedge roadside as the Queen passed by in her car from a distance. Even today, over sixty years on, I remember the smile she wore that day, especially as I saved the coronation mug that all English schools gave their pupils. It says something about us not being a throw-away society then, as such ceramic mementoes are still intact in their millions and can still be picked up at car boot sales for coppers, whereas little effort is devoted to preservation these days, not even marriage, the planet or life itself!

Little did I realise as a child, that one day in the years ahead that I would see that royal smile up much closer when I called around to her house to see her in the 1990s. It had earlier been indicated in a somewhat official letter to me by 'The Honours Committee' that she wanted to pin a medal on me. It was an MBE; that's one up from a 'Blue Peter Badge' for the uninitiated. Though my official letter of recognition was stuffy, I could never say that about the Queen's smile. It hadn't seemed to change since the first time I'd glimpsed it from afar some thirty years earlier.

Indeed, the more I think about things, how little I ever imagined as a child that one day I would have a number of brushes with royalty. I have been privileged in my time to have spoken with Princess Diana and Princess Margaret by phone, and to have had Princess Anne open a Disability Centre for me in Dewsbury by personal request. I also sat five rows behind the Queen and Prince Philip in 'Leeds Football Stadium' many years before my investiture; although on that occasion I could only see the back of their hands and heads as they waved and nodded their royal approval. I couldn't tell what they were mouthing at the time; it might even have been a Yorkshire pork pie they'd been scoffing as a snack to tide them over until lunch time.

Many years ago, the famous photographer, the late David Bailey, released an image of Her Majesty, who he described as having a mischievous smile. I can most certainly testify to that. The Queen is just one famous lady whom I have met who possessed 'a mischievous smile'.

Which leads me nicely to my investiture ceremony at Buckingham Palace. As I approached the Queen to receive my gong, I initially wondered why she was stood on a platform two feet higher than mine, then I saw why. I was gobsmacked by Her Majesty’s lack of height, so much so that when she politely asked, 'What kind of books do you write Mr Forde?' the only reply I could muster was, 'Good ones, Maam, good ones!' ( Maam rhymes with jam when addressing a monarch correctly).

As the Queen gave me a straight-faced glance with a look that reflected confusion instead of amusement, I could sense one of the Beefeaters behind her raise his axe in anticipation of her next command as he moved forward three paces. Suddenly that royal ‘We are not amused’ look suddenly changed as her lighter side began to emerge. The royal face softened, the majestic cheeks widened and the Queen laughed: not smiled as protocol decrees, but palpably laughed! It may have been the quiet mischievous laugh of a reserved lady and not the raucous outburst of a ‘Barnsley belly-busting bride who pulled a decent chap to marry her before the baby arrives', but a royal laugh it was nevertheless. I’ve got it on video and photographs to prove it. Isn't life strange when all the water has been drained from the cooking pot and we can all find a bit of the royalist somewhere in the bottom of our Wellington boots!

Another occasion that humoured me greatly was when John and Norma Major invited me and my ex-wife down to 'Number 10' for afternoon tea. I joke not; it really happened, and it wasn't one of those two-minute flying visits as part of some larger party. We were there alone with the Majors for two hours with Norma and one hour with the Prime Minister, her husband John. They were the nicest couple one could possibly meet. I could not believe that a busy Prime minister would take the time to give a stranger from West Yorkshire a guided tour around 'Number 10' just because he approved of my book themes and charitable awareness issues. When the PM showed me the 'Cabinet Room' and the famous Cabinet table around which many momentous decisions have been made over the centuries, I was thrilled to bits. I was gobsmacked, however, when he showed me the most prominent chair at the centre of the oval-shaped table where the Prime Minister sat. Naturally, the chair was one up from the others to distinguish the higher ranking of the occupant. 'Would you like to sit in it, Bill?' the PM asked, reading my thoughts. I had always thought his father to have been a trapeze artist and not a mind reader. I sat down and anchored my bottom firmly as I imagined that William Pitt and others had issued many silent farts from that position before humble little me. As we passed Walpole's desk, my childish devilment led me to stick a piece of chewing gum beneath it. I wonder if it's still there?

As we were escorted up the famous staircase with photographs of every Prime Minister arranged in staggered formation from bottom to the top of the stairs, Norma proudly recited each one by name since Sir Robert Walpole, who was the first Prime Minister between 1721-1742, graced the Office. The wall was filled completely and at the very last photo was of the previous incumbent, Margaret Thatcher. Norma obviously held no love for her and even called her 'Maggie'. She pronounced her surname with the precision of an elocution venom as she uttered, 'Thatcher', making sure that it rhymed with 'Milk snatcher!' Then Norma remarked in an unguarded moment, 'If she thinks she is snatching the last place at the top of the stairs for her photograph, she can think again; John's going there, not being pushed around the corner!'

As me and my ex-wife Fiona sat in their upstairs lounge having a light tea, the Prime Minister asked me if I was cold and did I want the fire stoking. I took my opportunity, thinking that my mining father would turn in his grave had I not and replied, 'No thank you, I'm not cold, but all the rest of Yorkshire is since you completed that which Margaret Thatcher started and closed down the remaining pits!' To his credit, John Major took the comment on the chin and took no offence. His wife did though. In her previous half a dozen letters to me she had always called me 'Bill', but after that exchange with her husband in which I'd dared to criticise part of his political action, it reverted to 'Mr Forde' in the next letter, and I also found myself struck off her Christmas card list. She did later read one of my books in a school in her husband's constituency, but our future relationship was never quite as close and the same as it once appeared.

One of the few women I almost became 'too friendly' with was the late Anita Roddick. We were like-minded people in so many ways. Had we not both been married at the time, we could easily have become more attracted to each other. I recall in the 90s when we marched 2,000 children from the Huddersfield railway station to the 'Huddersfield Town Hall' where we held an 'Our World' event with all the Kirklees schools in attendance to celebrate Anita's environmental work, my own book entitled 'Our World', and also to present a song I had written and produced to Anita called 'Our World' (which can be accessed below). This was the only occasion when I've been given council approval to hold up the traffic for a half-hour march through the centre of Huddersfield. Anita was one of the friendliest, earthiest women I have had the pleasure to meet and I liked her presence enormously. She was attracted to my work because of its charitable and educational aspects. When she died in 2007, she left her entire £51million fortune to charity in her will. God bless you, Lass. This is the song that I wrote and produced and presented to her that day, and which over 2,000 Kirklees school children sang to her in the Town Hall. The music was composed by the late John Foyle of Batley.
http://www.fordefables.co.uk/uploads/1/0/1/5/10153721/04_our_world.mp3

So, however humble one is born, strange things can happen in one's life and anyone can meet all manner of folk, both great and good; and some like Queen Elizabeth, Norma Major and Anita Roddick with a lot of devilment in them lurking at the back of their mind. As my mother often said, 'Even a cat can look at a Queen.'

I'll end now as that's enough name dropping for one post." William Forde: April 22nd, 2018.

April 21st, 2018

21/4/2018

"My son William's life in Australia has altered significantly over the past two to three years. Like myself in my younger life, he was always a rebel, his own man who seemed determined to find a way of life that suited him and the values he believes in.

I recall after he married in Poland seven years ago, how he and his Polish bride returned to Australia where they had previously resided and for the first time in his life, he started to adopt a more conventional lifestyle. I'll never forget him telling me over the phone that just because he now had a house, wife and a suited-and-booted job, 'I feel like I've sold out to the consumerist society.' I told Will, (his preferred name) not to beat himself up too much about having settled down into a more normal lifestyle because we all 'sell out' at that time in life 'when the price is right!'

I explained that in my view it is a natural part of growing from idealistic youth into more cynical/realistic adult to change one's political perspective from extreme left towards extreme right as one gets older and, not to do so, usually signifies one 'being stuck in the past and failing to change with the times.'

Part of me has always suspected deep down that the reason why many people turn to Religion in older years is that it allows one to continue to preach socialist principles whilst practising Conservative ways, and thereby settling into a new and more comfortable type of hypocrisy. We're a strange old breed, aren't we?

Anyway, over the past three years, our Will decided categorically that such a conventional lifestyle, philosophy and set of beliefs wasn't for him and he became what many would probably describe as a 'New Millennium Hippy', but without the drugs I'm glad to say (As far as I'm aware).

Sadly Will and his wife's relationship wasn't meant to be and they parted and divorced. Over the past two years, Will abandoned the modern lifestyle that Australia has to offer and has opted for the simple life, along with Josefine, his partner of like mind. They have travelled across Australia spreading their style of Yoga. This Yoga business of theirs, along with house babysitting all over the world while the house owners holiday, plus any other type of work that comes their way, enable them to eat healthily and travel and live in their camper van. The totally of what they own and possess can be carried in a rucksack. Just as I recall reading what the philosopher Aristotle once remarked as he went through the marketplace, 'I never knew there were so many things in the world that I neither needed nor wanted.'

As for politics, I think there is no left or right for him today; if anything he is apolitical. However, where he and Churchill, Thatcher and a few others are distinctly alike, he has learned how to stick two fingers up at the world! All in all, he's just another rebellious Forde through and through, though less conventional and less hypocritical in the process than the rest of us!" William Forde: April 21st, 2018.

April 20th, 2018.

20/4/2018

Thought for today:
"Today is the birthday of my firstborn James, who lives in France with his wife and two children. James is the second from the left in the photo of my four boys. We all remember our own children in different ways for a vast variety of reasons.

When James was starting Primary school, I and his mother separated and he was brought up by his mother. At the time of separation, I charged him, being the first born, to look out for his younger brother Adam. Having been brought up the eldest of seven children, while such a request seemed perfectly natural to me, I realised in later years that it was far too onerous a responsibility for a father to place on one so young. To his credit, until Adam came to live with me some eight years later in his early teens, James did look out for his brother. Looking back son, this was too much to ask of a young child, but in doing it, you demonstrated the calibre of the adult you grew up to be.

Today, you are a success in your job, you are happily married and have parented two beautiful children, Sam and Jessica. I wish you a happy birthday son on this your special day and if you have a good look at all my sons, (James is the second from the left), you'll be able to clearly see where all your good looks come from, given that I'm the only 'constant' in the equation as there was more than one mother involved.

When James and his younger brother Adam were very young and I used to tell hem bedtime stories before they went to sleep, James would always guess the ending. That was when I decided to abandon their book and I started to tell them stories about a fictitious fox called 'Sleezy'. Now, when smarty-pants James guessed the ending, I simply snookered him by changing it.

In later years when I became a children's writer of some acclaim, one of my first story successes that the late Princess Diana used to read to her children at bedtime was the 'Sleezy the Fox' stories. She had heard about the theme of the book which is 'second chances' and wanted to acquaint the young Princes, William and Harry with this theme and stories. I often think amusingly that James was probably responsible for my becoming a children's author initially and that he and his brother were acquainted with the 'Sleezy Fox' stories before a future King of England had them read to him by his mother.

Anyone can freely hear these four stories about 'Sleezy the Fox' by simply accessing my website through the link below:
http://www.fordefables.co.uk/sleezy-the-fox.html

Enjoy your 44th birthday, James, and never forget that your old dad loves you deeply, always has and always will. Love Dad xxx : William Forde: April 20th, 2018.

April 19th, 2018.

19/4/2018

"We humans are the only creatures on the face of the earth who are capable of being 'inhuman.' We are unknowingly often greater hypocrites than we realise.

How many of us are well fed while others starve and with enough change in our purse to provide food and water to another person? What happens in our lives that causes our humanity to chip away and allows our heart to go cold on us without warning that the flames of compassion are dying out? What enables us to sometimes express feeling without touch, rationality without reason, vision without insight, and leads us to know without knowledge?

However good we are, however rich or poor, we all have far more possessions than we ever need or is good for us. We accummulate things without realising how much we are cluttering up our lives with things. We are presently having the house rewired when we are away on our European holiday and need to pack every item and place in storage for around seven weeks. The packing made me realise just how many things I didn't need and we started to declutter. We have probably given away a third of our possessions to needy friends and charity shops, but I forgot how good it makes one feel to give away things one really loves to have about them. It frees us a bit from the material addiction we are all prone to.

Having felt this recent good feeling, I am determined to declutter at least once a year now, if the good Lord grants me another year to re-experience the act.

What are we; man or beast; a source for good or evil? I believe that we have the capacity to be the type of arm wrestler we want to be."William Forde: April 19th, 2018.

April 18th, 2018

18/4/2018

"The saddest irony of life is that the fewer one has, the more precious they become; whether it be hen's teeth, days left to live, unfulfilled dreams or treasured memories from the past. When I was young, My mother would often tell me, 'Billy, look after what you have because few of us know what we have until it's gone!' She was so right.

The experiences that constitute my happiness are my memories of growing up with my parents and siblings, and looking after my own children in their youth and sharing in their pleasures; plus my marriage to Sheila.

We need to enjoy these experiences to the full while they are still there to be enjoyed because once the real experiences have passed, time will fade, making the objective emotions of the time, subjective feelings in memory." William Forde: April 18th, 2018.

April 23rd, 2018.

17/4/2018

Thought for today:
"All my life I have sensed, smelled, spoken and written in image form, whether I've been reading a book, writing a book, making a speech, solving a problem, having a dream, watching a film or observing a pair of sparrows having a tug of war as to who will win the worm. I am undoutedly influenced and pleasured by imagery as my many paintings I have around our house will testify.

I believe that the nature of imagery that stimulates our senses, also excites and pleasures us, relaxes and soothes us. I also believe that the nature of our imagery defines us in large measure as to the type of person we are and determines the kind of person that physically attracts us, and who we seek out as a short-term playmate and the one we choose as a long-term partner.

Like my mother before me I have always known myself to be a hopeless romantic. A few of the earliest images that ever penetrated my mind and stayed firmly fixed in the recess of my memory ever since are the two that reflect the suge of happiness that filled the world after the end of the 'Second World War,' that happiness that broke out between friend and friend as well as stranger and stranger in an outburst of spontaneous combustion of hope for a brighter future and more settled world where peace would rule supreme.

Although I was a war baby who was born in 1942, I was never aware of the horrors and death that surrounded Great Britain during those harsh years and the hardships that everyone endured. What I can remember is the sudden shout of joy and the return of smiling faces when the war was finally over and normality started to return to a nation. I recall the change back from powdered eggs to solid ones with yolks that looked yellower than they had ever looked. I remember the change of colours in women's dresses and frocks from drab greys to bright cheerful polka-dot patterns boldly emblazoned with all the colours of a female rainbow embracing a man-made heaven-on-earth. Out went the scarf-covered heads concealing dozens of hair rollers setting the locks in curls beneath cover and in came new hair dos and modern perms that returned to women their crowning glory. No more need was there for women to crayon lines up the back of their legs to mimic the wearing of nylons, as real nylons started to become available once more, with their sensual stretching over female leg and graceful removal with all the skill of a striptease artiste as stocking garters are unclasped in anticipated pleasure yet to come.

Of course lots of significant changes happened in the lives and fashions of men and children also, as well as institutions and organisations across the land, but as I said, I was a hopeless romantic so it was the changes in the ladies of the land that were imprinted and stayed in my memory most!

Such simple yet stirring imagery of the time; a sailor kissing a strange woman on the streets of New York when news that the 'Second World War' has ended, and two young attractive women sitting and laughing together on railings at the sea front, totally oblivious to the rest of the world as they celebrated a happy day's outing along with the fact that Great Britain never had it so good!

Such were the images of my youth that cemented my mind in permanent romantic mould, making me jelly in the hands of the fairer sex who were determined to have fun and live freely in the moment of teenage irresponsibility." William Forde: April 23rd, 2018.

April 17th, 2018.

17/4/2018

Thought for today:
"'Who am I?' and 'What is my purpose?' These two questions probably represent the conundrum of all human life since the moment of creation.

The easiest way to provide an answer is to use the simple and innocent logic of a child's mind which has not yet been sullied and conditioned by the subjective slavery of adult vested interests.

'I am me. I am a project in the making. I am who I was+who I am+who I will become.'

Each thought we think, each emotion we feel, and each action we ever take is influenced by past thoughts, feelings, actions and outcomes. Each new experience our mind and body processes is never wholly new but is a kind of mental, emotional and physical 'add-on' that is determined by present expectations which have been influenced by past events.

Who we are at any given moment in time is largely in our control. We are never at the mercy of another's thoughts, feelings or actions, however, bad the situation. It is true that our options of response may be temporarily restricted but believe me, there will always be choices and options open to us; decisions we can make. At its most extreme, we may not be able to prevent a person or an illness taking our life, but how we exit the stage is very much down to ourselves, through the attitudes we adopt and the whether we choose to make our death a positive or negative experience for those who observe it!

A more applicable example to the majority of people can be seen in how it is possible for anyone to systematically change the overwhelming proportion of their problematic behaviour. Because every behaviour pattern is made up from 'Thought-Feeling-Action' in that precise sequence, the way for any person to change their behaviour pattern is to change the way they 'Think-Feel-Do' correspondingly. In short; 'think' either positively or negatively about any experience or person and you will correspondingly 'feel' either positive or negative; and will be more likely to 'do' to them/for them/with them, either more positively or negatively.

When I was young and short of wisdom my mother would tell me, 'Billy Forde, don't ever let someone else tell you who you are, because you are who you let yourself be!' I know that the term or discipline of 'behaviourism' hadn't appeared on the horizon then, so there was simply no way that my mum could have been aware of its stated purpose and benefits; except through the wisdom of her own experience. All of her life, mum's experience was always blended with positivism. It was directed by the most charitable of thoughts in her mind, that stirred the most sensitive of feelings in her body, and produced the most compassionate of actions towards others.

When I come to think of it, my mum, and her mum, and her mum was probably the 'Mother of Behaviour Modification'. At the end of the day, however old or wise one gets, it makes one wonder, 'What's new?'. I strongly suspect that each generation merely packages their expectations and experiences differently. I cannot recall how many new methods and ways of working I had introduced to me during my working life, merely to later confirm that I was already acquainted with that knowledge, but under different labels; as no doubt was my mother and her mother!

So, please take it from me and mum; the only person you are destined to become is the one you let yourself be. The one that you become is in your thoughts and feelings initially, and then you allow your new self to jump into action. " William Forde: April 17th, 2018.

April 16th, 2018.

16/4/2018

Thought for today:
"In my life, I have known some people do things for which they have deservedly received bravery awards, but I have also known thousands of deserving people who have exhibited braver actions without ever once receiving any form of recognition. The people who perform the bravest of all actions are those who do what they do in constant fear of failure and with low expectations of success, based on their past efforts.

It is one of life's paradoxes that only those people with genuine fear display true courage, and the higher their fear level and the lower their expectation to succeed, the braver they are to continue in their action! Courage is but fear at prayer.

Anyone who can sustain hope for today and tomorrow possesses the secret to eternal satisfaction, for true hope never dies. Anyone who possesses the truth of tongue holds the keys to the gateway of goodness and wholesomeness, and happiness and respect will be always open to them. The truth of yourself should never abandon your tongue, whatever the consequences of you speaking it. It may not always be a comfortable partner to walk alongside and it can be painful on occasions to hear, especially from a close friend or loved one, but keep it steadfast and constant in all areas of integrity.

The greatest loss that any individual can experience is to believe themselves unworthy. Was I to itemise every problem behaviour I have dealt with throughout my entire professional life with people who display problem behaviours they wish to change, at the very heart of most problems would be 'low self-esteem and lack of confidence'.

The greatest thing that everyone in the world possesses, but only a fraction of the holders acknowledge, is their own 'specialness'. If only we could all accept our 'specialness' today, our capacity to deal with personal problems would diminish rapidly overnight. Never ever put yourself down again. Tell, yourself that anyone who knows you, is in contact and friendship with you, or loves you, is the luckiest of mortals because 'you are special' and you know it!" William Forde: April 16th, 2018.

April 15th, 2018.

15/4/2018

Thought for today:
"Happiness is never having to stop to think if you are. If you need to stop to consider if you are, it will probably have passed you by. Being happy is best experienced when you are bringing a family up and all of your spare time is devoted to doing things together. It is these experiences that the mind of the growing child saves and treasures until the end of their days; doing things together!"

Of all the things that I will save for certain in my failing memory bank are my early experiences with my family; growing up with my parents and six brothers and sisters, doing things together, growing older as one unit. Every Sunday was reserved for family walks down the fields; chasing hares we could never catch and inhaling more fresh air in one afternoon than modern children can breathe in a month. There would always be a family flask of tea to hand and homemade sandwiches to take away any pangs of hunger before the long walk back home and tea time arrived.

I always remember my Irish grandmother telling me that everyone should bring love into their home, for that is where our love for each other starts. Until we find love with our own blood brothers and sisters we will not find it in any extended family we have of our own. My own brothers and sisters are bits of my childhood that can never be lost or regretted.

Having a happy family start is so important for being a happy person in later life and in making better husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. A happy upbringing enables us to view the world as merely being a larger family and reminds us that we should never run the danger of drawing our family circle too small.

Often, the hardships and difficulties faced by so many of the world's population can seem overwhelming to one's senses. In truth, though all positive efforts matter, the world's problems can often seem so huge and intractable that there seems very little we can do to promote world peace and bring an end to all strife. In such circumstances, don't blame yourself for a nation's ills or the many wars and internal strife across the globe. It is far better you worry less about tomorrow and go home and love your family today." William Forde: April 15th, 2018.

April 14th, 2018.

14/4/2018

"The greatest irony of the defeatist is that they always give up, just before the tide has started to turn. I often wonder how many of our lives would be so different today if only we hadn't given up on that idea, that person, that dream too soon? If only we'd had the courage and determination to hang on a bit longer?

One of the few things that my father taught me and which has served me well over the years has been a description of life in general. He once told me, 'Billy, if you expect life to be easy, you'll be disappointed. It's tough, a constant struggle with peaks and troughs. The time you need to hang on the most is when all others are letting go.' (I paraphrase). My father was a relatively uneducated man who left school before his 13th birthday to work, but he was one of the most persistent and resilient men I ever knew. In my youth, I saw these qualities of his as pig-headedness and sheer downright stubbornness.

My mother was an eternal optimist and most of the pearls of wisdom I took from her treasure box would be ones concerning positivism, self-belief, and the importance of following one's dreams. However, being the mother of seven children and the wife of a fiercely independent husband, mum still relied on what I was brought believing to be the adages of old wive's tales. One of mum's oft-repeated saying was, 'Billy, never give up heart. It is often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock'.

Mum was always the great dreamer in the family. She genuinely believed that most people never achieve their dreams because they don't believe in them strong enough and are too quick to give up on them. So many times I have tried to do something and was to about to give up when mum might stop me dead in my tracks by saying, 'If that was my problem, Billy Forde, I would think about it a bit more, and give up on it tomorrow if you must.'

I remember being in my late teens. I took up boxing for a few years to help improve my balance after a bad traffic accident. Over fifty operations on my legs at the age of twelve left one three inches shorter in length than the other leg. I was never a great boxer and there were many far more skilled than I at the sport, but yet I managed to win more fights than many a better boxer than myself. My assets were that I had a good punch and was prepared to receive five punches if I was able to give back one of mine. Most important of all, however, was that I was never knocked out, and however many times I got knocked to the canvas, my pride would never allow me to stay down beyond the count of ten. I would have to say that it is this same doggedness and determination that has helped me walk away from death's door a number of times since my heart attacks and the onset of terminal blood cancer. As my father's message rammed into my brain as a growing child, 'You can never beat a person who won't give up'.

During thirty years as a professional worker with problematic clients, dealing with problematic situations has become second nature to me. There are some attitudes, approaches, methods which are simply much better than others to adopt, but none of these ways of improving one's situation or getting closer to one's goal mean anything without that personal ingredient of determination and staying power. As the great Albert Einstein and one of the cleverest minds that ever operated once remarked, 'I'm not that smart, I just stay with problems longer'.

I have and will always remain an optimist, thanks to having much of my late mother's philosophy. She would say, 'Billy, never stop dreaming or believing in the power of your dreams, for the day you give up on your dreams is the day you give up on yourself'. She was in effect telling me that it is never too late to be what might have been.

My professional life as a cognitive behaviourist helped me find an alternative route out of problems often. In situations where I have been unable to find a way, my response was to make one! Whenever I have given something my best stab but have not got what I ideally wanted, I learned many years ago to sit myself down quietly and ask myself, will the fact that I didn't get what I wanted really matter in a month's/year's time? Usually, the answer is 'No'.

One of the best ways I have often enabled myself to keep going has been to remind myself 'why' I really started in the first place? The behaviourist part of me tells me that mankind is an addictive animal and that almost anything can become an addiction; especially quitting. Screaming, 'I can't stand it! I can't stand it!' (whatever it may be that you can't stand: job: situation: relationship etc. etc), is a sure guarantee that when you leave the situation you can't stand today, that you will take your attitude of 'I can't stand it! I can't stand it!' into the next situation, and the one after that!

Another thing I found out much later in life is that when people point the finger at you in disapproval, it is a finger that really is aimed at them and their own faults.When someone tells you that you can't do something, they are really telling you is that they can't.

So, if you are the type of person who tends to give in too easily, it helps to learn to hold out a little longer each time you try. One of my most enjoyable sayings is to remember that courage doesn't always roar its presence. Sometimes it's the quiet voice of determination at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow'." William Forde: April 14th, 2018.

April 13th, 2018.

13/4/2018

"Every adult in the world has so much that we can learn from observing the huge happiness experienced by little children, and which is capable of being generated by the simplest and smallest of things. It always amazes me how seemingly innocuous things like turning a light switch or a water tap on and off can light up children's lives with waves of exploration and fascination that no pair of eyes can ever disguise. It is as though they have discovered in their cradle of innocence an ungrown seed of sheer devilment and wickedness that will remain dormant until their more adult brain starts to develop and give sway to more conscious action.

Their willingness to accept happiness is instant. They concern themselves not why the water supply is there and where it comes from. All they need to obtain their happiness is to 'feel it' and to pleasure in one's body interaction with it. They don't need to know why it makes them happy; they just enjoy the moment!

They possess a directness of thought that simply accepts the pleasure that touches and embraces them without needing to rationalise its presence or examine its motive for being there. How sweetly their day is nourished and inspired. How easily finding man's greatest treasure and resource on the planet, water, brings instant joy as it tenderly touches the folds of happiness in the creases of soft skin as it flows from the tap and forms a radiant smile on the child's face that informs any observer that all is well with their world." William Forde: April 13th, 2018.

April 12th, 2018

12/4/2018

Thought for today:
"This week sees the birthday of my youngest sister, Susan, and my younger brother, Patrick. Susan's birthday was yesterday and she is currently having a holiday in South Africa and my brother Patrick's birthday is today. In the photograph, Susan is the girl on the back row and Patrick is the one in a blue shirt on the front row.

As my mother would constantly remind me when I was growing up that all of my siblings are 'special', and as her firstborn, I was charged with never abandoning any of them in times of need.

Our experiences with all our siblings differ with each, having been born at different times and positioned differently in the hierarchical family structure. For example, the experience of the youngest sibling like Susan can never be like the eldest sibling, me. Similarly, being born the oldest of all siblings brings with it parental considerations, allowances and expectations that the second oldest brother like Patrick, who is seven years younger than me never benefited from.

When you are the oldest of seven children, one cannot experience the same quality of life as the youngest members receive. For example, being the oldest, I experienced my parents at their most loving to each other and can even recall as a seven-year-old when they would take a few of the older ones for a family walk across the fields on a Sunday afternoon, they might disappear behind some natural barrier for ten minutes while they instructed the rest of us to play and run about. My sister, Susan's experience of family life, however, must have been much different to that of mine. I was in Canada when she was a mere seven-year-old and I know that this was a period in my parent's relationship when arguments between them were frequent and far more volatile than I had been used to seeing during earlier years. Don't get me wrong, they always loved each other even though at times they didn't like each other!

As for my younger brother, Patrick, even though I never willed it to be, I suspect that his big brother was always the template of personal success that my parents always judged his performance by; and wrongly so in my view. It is hard for a growing boy to establish their own identity within the neighbourhood when they are invariably introduced as, 'Patrick, the brother of Billy Forde'. I was constantly in fights in my late teens and even after I had first married at the age of 26 years, my brothers Patrick and Michael would often be dragged into fights and forced to defend themselves and the family name after some local bully or ruffian I'd previously had dealings with discovered that they were the younger brothers of 'Billy Forde'.

Let me say that I am immensely proud of my sister Susan and my brother, Patrick. Both have been extremely successful in their chosen careers (Susan, an Area Manager in the Social Services Dept and Patrick, a textile shop steward for numerous years before he took early retirement). Each, like every other Forde my parents gave birth to, is fiercely independent individuals who brook no nonsense from whatever quarter it comes and press onwards against whatever level of opposition presents itself, without fear or favour. My brother Patrick fought vigorously for the rights of textile workers all his working life and my sister Susan is the only woman I know who took out sexual discrimination grievance against one of her Polytechnical Lecturers when she was training to be a social worker. I suppose that like all the Forde brothers and sisters, once they get their heels dug in they take no prisoners!

To our Susan and Patrick, your oldest brother, Billy, wishes you both a very happy birthday. I am ever grateful for your expressed love and concern for me during my period of ill health over the past five years. I love you both. Your oldest brother, Billy (the undisputed head and the Godfather of the Forde Family!) I have included for you both below in celebration of your birthdays, an Irish song I know you will both like," William Forde: April 12th, 2018.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUeDytzqVCo

April 11th, 2018.

11/4/2018

Thought for today:
"There is always beauty to be found by those who look for it; a beauty for all to appreciate and to possess. In our advancement of social interaction, learning detachment is part of respect. The world exists despite us, for us and because of us, and is not there to provide food, shelter and comfort for us alone. Learn to live alongside all who inhabit our world in peace and toleration. Learn to live in our world with modesty, compassion, love and deep respect, and it will live in you, through you and be reflected in all you do." William Forde: April 11th, 2018.

April 10th, 2018.

10/4/2018

"Men and women have killed for it; lovers have thrown themselves under moving trains, committed suicide, abandoned their families, countries, and religion. Politicians have forfeited their career over it and reputations have defended its honour in countless duels to the death. Countries have been both lost and won because of it; even the map of the earth has been changed in some part by it, and Christians believe that original sin which was first born in the Garden of Eden was the consequence of man's passion for a woman. I refer to love; the all-consuming love of a man for a woman and vice versa that throws everything to the wind on the roll of a love dice falling double six.

Mankind is hooked upon the behaviour of obsession, and nowhere is this more evident than in our desire to find the love of our life with whom the rest of our life can be happily spent. We also nurture a need to be loved as no other ever has been.

The annals of history show us the totality of what mankind is prepared to spend, lose, give up or have taken from him in order to secure the love he craves. Often, this obsession with another makes love misdirected and as hearts are fixed unavailingly, families can be split asunder, fortunes are lost, countries abandoned and treasured dreams allowed to drift away as though they never held any substance in the heart.

But, on those rare times that true love blossoms and endures all obstacles in its path, nothing, simply nothing from one's past can ever hope to compare with the way its presence makes one feels today."William Forde: April 10th, 2018.

April 9th, 2018.

9/4/2018

Thought for today:
"Breathe deeply, sense the moment and feel the intensity of life in every breath you take. Seize the hour, know the enduring nature of love and the day shall be yours. Touch the pulse of sensitivity in all that you think, say and do, and feel the freedom in your stride as you walk forward. Go out into the world in the knowledge that you are a very important part of it and spread the fire of humanity until it becomes contagious to the very soul it infects. Have a heart that never hardens, ears that never close, eyes that refuse to distort the truth, a temper that is known for its toleration and a touch that makes one feel better and is a stranger to hurt. We are all part of the same family. Be yourself. Have a life. Have a good day. " William Forde: April 8th, 2018.

April 8th, 2018.

8/4/2018

Thought for today:
"When faced with a normal situation, most of us know instinctively what to do. Even in dire and life-threatening situations, one doesn't have to think twice. If the house is on fire to the rafters, you get all your loved ones together and get out quick! When crossing a busy road, if a runaway lorry is fast approaching you at 100 miles an hour, you get out of the way.

There are, however, those niggling situations in life where a decision needs to be made regarding how to provide the right response, but where you have to think twice how to respond, and where truth is rarely bold enough to show its real colours.

It can be as frivolous as, 'Do I eat the last biscuit on the plate?' or it can even be more personal where you know a refusal may cause offence. Imagine that a good friend of yours needs a temporary loan and you help them out with £20. She pays you back the following week, but then one week later asks for a similar loan. You oblige again, and again your friend's response is like the previous occasion. After this exercise of loaning and repaying between you and your friend has gone on for months, you don't know who the £20 really belongs to as it exchanges hands weekly, and more importantly, you don't really know if you are helping your friend or just ensuring that she never alters.

I once knew a chap who really liked his mother-in-law and hadn't a bad word to say about her, except she always insisted on knitting him jumpers for birthdays and Chrismas's which never fitted him or in a style or colour he would never think of wearing. Each year he would graciously accept the jumper with a loving smile and he would even get one out of the drawer and wear it for show if he knew that his mother-in-law was coming round for tea. Each time he was presented with his present, his mother-in-law would look at him and ask, 'I hope you like it, Roger?' to which Roger would reply, 'It's simply smashing, Mum! Just what I needed!'

Then, there is always the husband whose wife asks. 'How do I look in this dress, Dear? Does it make my bottom look big?' The husband knows deep down that the dress is fine and that it's his wife's bottom that's too big and no dress could possibly make it look any smaller, but replies, 'It looks fine Dear'.

Or God forbid if you find yourself in a relationship/marriage that has run its course. What do you say when your partner next turns to you in bed and kisses you 'Goodnight' and tells you that he/she loves you before you settle down to sleep. Do you pretend to love him/her back because they are a good person? Because he/she is a good person that you are married to, do they deserve to hear the truth?

When all loving feeling has left a marriage/relationship and is unlikely to return, what do you do? Your children to the marriage are still in their early teens. The wife/husband you no longer love is a good person and good parent. There is no issue between you, never has been except you've lost all loving feeling for them and despite all efforts to make things better, you know you will never feel the same about them again. You have met someone else who lights up your life every time you see them. You have not started an affair and hate the very idea of having one behind the back of your spouse. You don't know what to do for the best.

If you stay with your spouse, you will not be able to conceal your true feelings when they touch you affectionately. You cannot pretend any longer and now cringe at their touch. When they lovingly kiss you, do you turn your face away or fake a kiss of endearment in return?

Sometimes, to be bold, to be brave, to be true and to be you, is more hurtful to do than to break the wings of the butterfly on the wheel of truth." William Forde , April 8th, 2018.

April 7th, 2018.

7/4/2018

"It has been long held that creativity means you believe in your own greatness. I have always believed that man and woman are at their greatest when they act from their passions. We are at our wisest when we protect civilisation's most valuable asset; our young, for there would be no great ones if they were no little ones!

John Ruskin, the 19th century social thinker and philantrophist reminded us that our greatness is the ability of all around us when he said, 'Every great man is always being helped by everybody, for his gift is to get the good out of all things and all persons.'

If you start doing what's necessary, then do what is possible, in a short matter of time, before you know it, you will find yourself doing the impossible! All manner of people who ever made their mark on the world found this to be the case. The vast majority of them never set out to discover this place or that formula or some cure; they just got on with their lives and stumbled across their greatness along the way.

So, waste not your life despairing in the doldrums. Get up! Get out and get on with your life before lethargy and stagnation cement all your prospects, making you no more than some stone monument that people pass by without ever stopping to notice," William Forde: April 7th, 2018.