Chapter Three
‘Meeting Richard again’
When Nancy arrived home after her night dancing she realised that something extraordinary had happened during those past few hours. She had met a dancer who was her match in every respect on the dance floor and not only that, but she had felt truly alive for the very first time since her husband Sam had died. Even the mere recollection of having being held and turned and spun around the ballroom floor to her favourite music made the blood course through her veins in an unseemly manner of utter satisfaction.
As Nancy changed out of her dancing attire and prepared a cup of tea before going to bed, part of her felt distinctly guilty for having enjoyed herself so much whilst another part continuously taunted her with the prospect of having betrayed her dear husband’s memory by enjoying a dance within the arms of a strange man so very much.
As Nancy retired for the night after refreshing her cat’s water bowl, she told herself that could Sam speak to her now that he’d not have objected to her having danced and enjoyed herself so much with another man. She even tried to convince herself that he would have even been pleased for her and would have welcomed the association. She recalled Sam telling her during a favourite Sunday walk once many years earlier,"You were never meant to be alone, Nancy. Promise me that if ever I am not here to protect you that you will consider the protection of another man!"
As Nancy changed out of her dancing attire and prepared a cup of tea before going to bed, part of her felt distinctly guilty for having enjoyed herself so much whilst another part continuously taunted her with the prospect of having betrayed her dear husband’s memory by enjoying a dance within the arms of a strange man so very much.
As Nancy retired for the night after refreshing her cat’s water bowl, she told herself that could Sam speak to her now that he’d not have objected to her having danced and enjoyed herself so much with another man. She even tried to convince herself that he would have even been pleased for her and would have welcomed the association. She recalled Sam telling her during a favourite Sunday walk once many years earlier,"You were never meant to be alone, Nancy. Promise me that if ever I am not here to protect you that you will consider the protection of another man!"
Confused with the totality of her feelings and trapped between the emotions of bodily pleasure and Catholic guilt, Nancy fell fast asleep with Lucky curled up at the end of her bed. Next Friday would be the second anniversary of her husband’s death and she felt it would be wholly disrespectful for her to go dancing that same day.
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Over the coming week both Nancy and Richard realised that they had each met someone significant in their lives; someone whom they’d been destined to meet. So often that week the couple allowed their minds to think upon how well they were suited as dancing partners and they each considered the possibility of an extended relationship under different circumstances, had they met at a different time in their lives.
When the following Friday arrived, Nancy’s first act of the day was to get her husband’s framed photograph from above the fireplace where it resided and dust it down with a damp cloth before giving it a gentle kiss. Next, she fed Lucky the cat and later on that morning she picked a bunch of flowers from her garden behind the lane which ran across the back of number 14 to put on her husband Sam’s grave.
As Nancy walked down William Street with her bunch of flowers, dressed in black with veil across her face, a few of the neighbours muttered after she’d passed them by and had politely nodded to acknowledge their presence.
As Nancy walked down William Street with her bunch of flowers, dressed in black with veil across her face, a few of the neighbours muttered after she’d passed them by and had politely nodded to acknowledge their presence.
“Going on three years now is too long to grieve for any man, however good he be, if you ask me!” Nelly Flannigan said to her next door neighbour Bridie Lowe.
“He would have had to have been some special man who had kept me well satisfied in more ways than one before he passed over, to have kept me in the widow’s weeds of black for so long!” Bridie Lowe replied.
“Get away with you woman!” Nelly Flannigan remarked, “The size of your Ned would ensure that you didn’t forget him in a hurry if he ever died before you.
“No need to worry about me forgetting Ned," Bridie said to Nelly. “The six bairns he’d leave me with would guarantee that!” Bridie added.
“He would have had to have been some special man who had kept me well satisfied in more ways than one before he passed over, to have kept me in the widow’s weeds of black for so long!” Bridie Lowe replied.
“Get away with you woman!” Nelly Flannigan remarked, “The size of your Ned would ensure that you didn’t forget him in a hurry if he ever died before you.
“No need to worry about me forgetting Ned," Bridie said to Nelly. “The six bairns he’d leave me with would guarantee that!” Bridie added.
Had they not been close friends, Nelly might have been tempted to have reminded Bridie that though she had mothered six of Ned’s children, her husband had brought another two into the world during their fifteen-year marriage. These additional children were the natural consequences to two extra-marital affairs he’d had when Nelly had been pregnant and he’d been found wanting with no will power to resist the temptation on offer to a man with his good looks.
One of Ned’s extra marital conquests had been Polly Mann; a simple girl aged 23 years who had brain damage and who was wheelchair bound, but who looked as beautiful as beauty went. Ned had taken advantage of her during a time of want and had offered to pay for an abortion to avoid the scandal. However Polly’s Aunt who looked after her refused and said that the only Catholic thing to do was to bring up the child as belonging to her and her husband, making her a cousin of Polly and not her daughter.
While this clandestine exercise was carried out by Polly and her Aunt and Uncle going away to Dublin for three months, a few Portlaw folk in the know simply kept the Portlaw secret under wraps for the sake of the innocent child and the betrayed wife.
While this clandestine exercise was carried out by Polly and her Aunt and Uncle going away to Dublin for three months, a few Portlaw folk in the know simply kept the Portlaw secret under wraps for the sake of the innocent child and the betrayed wife.
Ned’s next foray into the arena of infidelity was with a passing gypsy girl with whom he went with only once. The gypsy caravan would travel through Portlaw and Tralee to Kerry every year and it was only upon its return one year later that Ned saw the young woman nursing a child at her breast. Before he could approach her, she beckoned to her two brothers who were each much bigger, stronger and wilder than Ned could ever be and after pointing Ned out as ‘being the one,’ her two brothers set about the defiler of their sister with sticks and bare knuckle fists.
Ned finished up with a fractured arm, cuts and bruises to the face and a nose that had been broken in four places. His one-time good-looking features had now been permanently marred by the addition of a bent nose that remained out of joint. To avoid prosecution and possible incarceration, the gypsies considered the matter at an end and as for Ned, there was no need for others to know the reason for the assault, though a few of the locals accurately guessed that he'd been 'dipping his wick' in strange lanterns once more.
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When Nancy arrived at the church grave yard she walked towards her husband’s plot and was surprised to see the figure of a man in his late fifties, who’d minutes earlier been knelt down praying there, get up and speedily walk out of the church grounds without looking around. She was about to call, but thought such action may have been considered undignified in a grave yard, so didn’t.
When Nancy got to her husband’s grave she placed her flowers in the vase at its headstone and as she was arranging them she started holding a one way conversation with her dead husband. During her visits to the grave, she would invariably hold conversations with Sam as though he could hear her every word spoken.
“I loved you Sam Swales. You were a good man and a bloody good dancer. If it hadn’t been for your love, help and support after the baby died, I’d have gone off the rails. In some ways I did. Even when I wouldn’t set foot outside the house, you put up with me and accommodated me in every way you could. We had some smashing times dancing together Sam; some real good nights. If it hadn’t been for the dancing in our home at night, I dread to think how I could have got through those years or where I’d be now.”
After a few minutes silence Nancy continued the grave yard conversation with her dead husband.
“You once said Sam that if you were taken from this life before I was that I hadn’t to try to carry on alone. You said that doing that was just like sitting out the rest of the dance like a wallflower, just because you’d been left without your standard partner. Well.......I met someone recently Sam; a man from County Kerry. He’s a dancer like you.....like you were Sam and........................though we’re still strangers so to speak.....he made me feel like you used to make me feel whenever he has his arms around me on the dance floor. I don’t know where all this thing is going.......or indeed if it is going anywhere at all Sam, but I just wanted you to be the first one to know so that you wouldn't feel that I was cheating on our union of marriage or betraying our love. I love you Sam Swales and always will. I miss you, Sam Swales."
“You once said Sam that if you were taken from this life before I was that I hadn’t to try to carry on alone. You said that doing that was just like sitting out the rest of the dance like a wallflower, just because you’d been left without your standard partner. Well.......I met someone recently Sam; a man from County Kerry. He’s a dancer like you.....like you were Sam and........................though we’re still strangers so to speak.....he made me feel like you used to make me feel whenever he has his arms around me on the dance floor. I don’t know where all this thing is going.......or indeed if it is going anywhere at all Sam, but I just wanted you to be the first one to know so that you wouldn't feel that I was cheating on our union of marriage or betraying our love. I love you Sam Swales and always will. I miss you, Sam Swales."
After a few tears, Nancy noticed something strange. It was a photograph positioned behind the flower vase container in which she’d just placed some fresh flowers. The photograph was one of those in sepia.....a type of old-fashioned brown shade. It was an image of two infants laid side-by-side. Nancy looked behind the snapshot and saw written in pencil the words James and Samuel Mountford on its reverse.
Nancy left the graveyard and returned straight home. Out of respect for the day of her husband’s second anniversary of his death she played and replayed a favourite record that she and her husband Sam had loved to dance to during their early days on the ballroom floor.
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The night that Nancy was at home playing the favourite record which she and Sam had loved so much, Richard arrived at Clancy’s expecting to see Nancy there. As the nearby town hall clock struck midnight and he realised that she wasn’t coming, he first felt an emptiness in the stomach, a feeling of abandonment. Then he started thinking about his wife at home whom a neighbour was providing temporary cover for and started to question what he was doing here waiting anxiously for another woman when he ought to have been at home with his wife nursing her.
Richard’s feelings of emptiness changed to ones of guilt and he silently cursed himself for having left his wife that evening to be cared for by someone other than himself. He hurried back home as he tried to put all thoughts of a wasted evening out of his mind.
Upon arriving back home, the neighbour said, ’You’re back early. She has been very quiet this evening and hasn’t said a word.”
“Thank you Mrs Sutton,” Richard replied as he placed fifteen pounds in her hands in three bank notes for her trouble. “I’ll see to her now. Thank you for covering during my absence, It was much appreciated.”
When Richard saw his wife in obvious pain and distress he felt guiltier for having left her for the evening while he went off dancing.
Upon arriving back home, the neighbour said, ’You’re back early. She has been very quiet this evening and hasn’t said a word.”
“Thank you Mrs Sutton,” Richard replied as he placed fifteen pounds in her hands in three bank notes for her trouble. “I’ll see to her now. Thank you for covering during my absence, It was much appreciated.”
When Richard saw his wife in obvious pain and distress he felt guiltier for having left her for the evening while he went off dancing.
Over the following week, Richard’s wife rapidly worsened. She refused to eat and hardly spoke a word. Overall, her body seemed very restless and was permanently in an agitated state. The doctor warned Richard that her condition had taken a turn for the worse and that it didn’t look too hopeful. Her hair which had always carried a dark luster started to turn grey, making her look much older than she'd ever looked. Richard looked towards a framed photograph at the side of her bed of him and his wife during their earlier years of marriage. They were kissing in a fond embrace. Then looking down at his bedridden wife whose face had aged almost beyond recognition, he found it virtually impossible to reconcile both images as having been formed by the very same woman.
For the next eight days Richard stayed by his wife’s bed side. She never spoke and he felt so guilty for having abandoned her to be looked after by her neighbour the previous Friday while he’d been merrily dancing miles away from home.
For the next eight days Richard stayed by his wife’s bed side. She never spoke and he felt so guilty for having abandoned her to be looked after by her neighbour the previous Friday while he’d been merrily dancing miles away from home.
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When the following Friday arrived, Nancy went to Clancy’s hoping to see Richard there and to tell him why she couldn’t come the previous week. She was naturally disappointed not to find him there and started to suspect that after she’d failed to show the previous Friday he must have written her off as having been toying with him. She suddenly started to feel more disappointment than she could ever have imagined a stranger being able to induce in her. 'After all', she told herself, 'they had only met the once' and despite enjoying each other's company, neither held any commitment to the other.
During that night as she fell asleep, Nancy's mind returned again and again to Richard and she even dreamt about her and Richard in close intimate contact as they danced around the kitchen in fond embrace.
For the next three weeks Nancy was weekly disappointed to find no Richard at Clancy’s. She told herself that it served her right for having trusted a stranger who travelled from County Kerry every Friday night to dance with the ladies.
During that night as she fell asleep, Nancy's mind returned again and again to Richard and she even dreamt about her and Richard in close intimate contact as they danced around the kitchen in fond embrace.
For the next three weeks Nancy was weekly disappointed to find no Richard at Clancy’s. She told herself that it served her right for having trusted a stranger who travelled from County Kerry every Friday night to dance with the ladies.
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Two and a half weeks after Richard and Nancy had first met, Richard’s wife died. She passed away peaceably. Within a matter of mere weeks prior to her death, her hair had turned completely grey. After the funeral, Richard found himself feeling a deep sense of loss and also had to contend with any feeings of guilt he still retained. Any thoughts of Nancy or the possibility of going out dancing when the subsequent Friday evenings came around couldn't have been farther from his thoughts. All he felt like doing was staying at home, looking through old photographs of him and his wife during earlier times and slowly sorting away her things that she wore and would never be in need of again. Indeed, the only times that Richard ventured to leave his house was to fetch some groceries that were occasionally required.
Then one weekend night Richard turned on the radio and heard a catchy tune which he had happily danced to so many times in the past. For reasons he knew not, he took a framed photograph of his wife in their early marriage years that held pride of place upon the dresser and clutching the image close to his chest he did a rumba around the room with an imaginary dancing partner. He danced as he and his wife had often done on the dance floor. It was after this reminiscing that he sensed that he would soon be going back to his dancing once more and that if his wife could communicate with him, that she would be urging him to carry on living in her absence with her blessing.
