Chapter Three: 'The Separation'
Sean and Sarah didn't see each other for the following three days, but after missing her too much, he decided to go for broke and visit her home. He came across Mr Platt in his field and it was quite apparent from the look of disdain that filled his face that he wasn't a welcomed visitor.
"Is Sarah at home?" Sean asked.
"No, she isn't!" Mr. Platt replied tersely. "She's doing her violin practice; something that she'd be doing more often if she wasn't tied up with the likes of you every morning, noon and night!"
Mr. Platt called his collie dog away before Sean could ask him another question as to Sarah's precise whereabouts. While Sarah's father had never seemed one to make easy conversation with him in all the years that Sean had known the Platts and had visited their farm, he nevertheless seemed a bit off-hand with Sean today. Sean had never held the slightest doubt that it was down to both mothers of the Fanning and Platt households that any bond between the two families ever existed at all. Indeed, had it been left in the hands of either father, they would have passed through life never having even acknowledged the presence of the other man by more than a nod of the head as the two men passed on the street of Portlaw!
"Is Sarah at home?" Sean asked.
"No, she isn't!" Mr. Platt replied tersely. "She's doing her violin practice; something that she'd be doing more often if she wasn't tied up with the likes of you every morning, noon and night!"
Mr. Platt called his collie dog away before Sean could ask him another question as to Sarah's precise whereabouts. While Sarah's father had never seemed one to make easy conversation with him in all the years that Sean had known the Platts and had visited their farm, he nevertheless seemed a bit off-hand with Sean today. Sean had never held the slightest doubt that it was down to both mothers of the Fanning and Platt households that any bond between the two families ever existed at all. Indeed, had it been left in the hands of either father, they would have passed through life never having even acknowledged the presence of the other man by more than a nod of the head as the two men passed on the street of Portlaw!
Sean then went to a part of a nearby wood where he knew that Sarah often visited to play her violin in the fine weather. There being a heat mist that day, Sarah had removed her beret and jacket and threw them down on the ground before masking her eyes as she played in order not to be distracted by the sudden sight of a bird or fox. Sarah had once told Sean that the branches of the trees and the many tree trunks in close proximity to each other actually changed the resonance of the notes she played. It was all to do with echo and sound waves. Before he arrived at the precise spot in the wood, Sean could hear the refrain of a violin being played and knew that it was Sarah's fingers on the bow of the instrument. He picked up her coat and beret from the ground and brushed away any loose dirt and leaves attached to it.
As Sean approached Sarah and she heard the movement of his footsteps in the ground leaves, he said, "Hi sweetheart. I thought you might be out here," as he gently kissed her. Sarah removed her eye mask and kissed Sean more fulsomely.
"I saw your dad in the field by the farm, Sarah, but he was short with me. He hardly gave me the time of day. It was as though I'm persona non grata in his eyes at the moment. What's all that about?" he asked.
"Oh don't mind him. He's been queer for the past few weeks. He also heard from one of the lads in Portlaw that we'd met up at the dance, and in his usual manner, he has put two and two together and come up with five," Sarah explained.
"He doesn't know about..............you know?" Sean asked anxiously.
"No! How could he? I haven't taken out an advertisement in the 'Munster Express'," Sarah said without looking directly at Sean.
"I saw your dad in the field by the farm, Sarah, but he was short with me. He hardly gave me the time of day. It was as though I'm persona non grata in his eyes at the moment. What's all that about?" he asked.
"Oh don't mind him. He's been queer for the past few weeks. He also heard from one of the lads in Portlaw that we'd met up at the dance, and in his usual manner, he has put two and two together and come up with five," Sarah explained.
"He doesn't know about..............you know?" Sean asked anxiously.
"No! How could he? I haven't taken out an advertisement in the 'Munster Express'," Sarah said without looking directly at Sean.
Sean kissed Sarah again. By the stiffness of his resolve pressed up against Sarah's leg, this kiss was a silent invitation for her to put down her violin and to pick up where the couple had left off at the dance on their 16th birthdays. The bodies of both lovers took on a different impulse that stirred in their lower regions and within five minutes of groping and heavy petting, they found themselves making love once more. Being the second occasion that their young bodies had united in sexual union, Sarah enjoyed the experience much more than the first time. Her pleasurable sighs excited Sean to fever pitch, and far sooner than he had intended. She was at last in union with both her body and desire and it was as though every part of their interaction and mingling of bodies was as enthralling as her violin in full rapture.
After their sexual entanglement had been spent, Sarah was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. This was the first time they'd seen each other since it had previously happened and they'd not yet spoken of it. This time, it had happened in the light of day and both participants had no excuse. Neither had drink to blame it on; nothing except sheer wanton lust! Then without any prior inkling that it would happen again, it had!
Sarah's guilt started to stir her feelings. Despite loving Sean, Sarah had been brought up a much stricter Catholic than he had and she was still embarrassed about the fact that within so short a space of time, she had lost her virginity against a dance-hall wall within mere hours of having reached the age of legal consent and had today done it again, on the ground of the woods like some bitch on heat meeting her canine partner among the trees.
Sarah's guilt started to stir her feelings. Despite loving Sean, Sarah had been brought up a much stricter Catholic than he had and she was still embarrassed about the fact that within so short a space of time, she had lost her virginity against a dance-hall wall within mere hours of having reached the age of legal consent and had today done it again, on the ground of the woods like some bitch on heat meeting her canine partner among the trees.
To Sarah, it reflected a distinct lack of control and judgement on both their parts; a lack of judgement, which had now occurred twice during moments of elation, alcoholic intoxication and sexual arousal. Sensing her degree of embarrassment, Sean simply hugged her, and then the couple rearranged their clothes before walking back home. As they passed the 'Three Streams', a favourite place where they sometimes spent courting hours, they held hands and walked on silently.
Sarah asked him to leave her at the edge of the lane where the family home was and indicated that she'd see him at the same spot in the woods again in three week's time.
"Three weeks! Three full weeks!" Sean asked in disbelief, wondering if he was perhaps being punished for something he'd done wrong.
"I'm afraid so," Sarah replied, "I have to visit Donegal with my da who wants to see his sister. She lost her man recently to cancer of the lung and he's promised to stay there a while, help out and get her back on her feet. My Aunt Sarah is the person I was named after and I've not seen her for over five years. My da says it will cheer her up no end to see me in person."
"Three weeks! Three full weeks!" Sean asked in disbelief, wondering if he was perhaps being punished for something he'd done wrong.
"I'm afraid so," Sarah replied, "I have to visit Donegal with my da who wants to see his sister. She lost her man recently to cancer of the lung and he's promised to stay there a while, help out and get her back on her feet. My Aunt Sarah is the person I was named after and I've not seen her for over five years. My da says it will cheer her up no end to see me in person."
"That's 260 miles away! How long will you be gone?" Sean asked.
"Around three weeks according to my da. I'll write via the post office where you can collect," Sarah added.
"I'll miss you, sweetheart and will count the days until you return."
"I'll miss you too, Sean. Much more than you can ever know. Now, get off with you, my Boyo. You've had more than enough today to keep me in your thoughts for the next three weeks!" Sarah replied before kissing him farewell.
Sean felt like he couldn't possibly go three full weeks without seeing his beloved, yet didn't want to openly compete with her father's desire to have Sarah accompany him on the trip. Whatever he and Mr. Platt thought about each other, there was nothing to be gained in Sean's mind, were both males in Sarah's life to be engaged in a head-on collision with Sarah's affection or rejection as the ultimate prize to be collected. To create such torment and emotional division in her heart and mind would be the most devastating of all outcomes!
"Around three weeks according to my da. I'll write via the post office where you can collect," Sarah added.
"I'll miss you, sweetheart and will count the days until you return."
"I'll miss you too, Sean. Much more than you can ever know. Now, get off with you, my Boyo. You've had more than enough today to keep me in your thoughts for the next three weeks!" Sarah replied before kissing him farewell.
Sean felt like he couldn't possibly go three full weeks without seeing his beloved, yet didn't want to openly compete with her father's desire to have Sarah accompany him on the trip. Whatever he and Mr. Platt thought about each other, there was nothing to be gained in Sean's mind, were both males in Sarah's life to be engaged in a head-on collision with Sarah's affection or rejection as the ultimate prize to be collected. To create such torment and emotional division in her heart and mind would be the most devastating of all outcomes!
With the exception of one brief sighting from a distance of three hundred meters in the parish grave yard of 'St. Michael's Catholic Church' after Sarah's return from her aunt's house, along with three short letters from Donegal that she wrote to Sean during her first week of absence, that was to be the last time that Sean and Sarah would have any contact during the next twenty-four years.
His Sarah, the only young woman who'd ever moved his emotions and stirred his passions to the point of volcanic eruption had vanished from his life. He thought about the blissful days in the woods that they'd spent together; how they would kiss and frolic without a care in the world. He could still visualise her clearly, as she played her violin in both woods and open fields. To Sarah, she saw music and nature as being interchangeable, with each bringing immense pleasure and nourishment to the mind, body and soul of life's player.
His Sarah, the only young woman who'd ever moved his emotions and stirred his passions to the point of volcanic eruption had vanished from his life. He thought about the blissful days in the woods that they'd spent together; how they would kiss and frolic without a care in the world. He could still visualise her clearly, as she played her violin in both woods and open fields. To Sarah, she saw music and nature as being interchangeable, with each bringing immense pleasure and nourishment to the mind, body and soul of life's player.
The day after Sarah and her father had set off for Donegal, Sean spent an hour in the spot in the woods where Sarah liked to play her violin. He had received a letter from her which she must have written during the bus journey and which she'd posted first-class upon alighting the bus. Sean wanted to read the letter without risk of interruption, so had taken it outside his home and into the seclusion of the woods.
The letter was brief and was more a note than a letter. It simply said; "My dearest Sean, already missing you more than my heart can bear. I don't know how I'll get through three full weeks without kissing the man I love. I can smell you..... even feel you now as ......... Must end. Da has seen me writing. Love you. Your Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxx"
Sean read and re-read the letter over and over, attempting to understand the precise nuances of every word and intonation of its fullest meaning. She was missing him as much as he was missing her and she even signed herself off as, 'Your Sarah.' His......nobody else's! Then he read the words again, feeling more and more aroused each time he uttered them aloud. He imagined himself smelling her, touching her and yes, having her. He could sense the hardening of his manhood the more he read the letter and dashed off back home before he did something daft and before someone walking their dog through the wood mistook him for some pervert indecently exposing himself to innocent passers-by.
The letter was brief and was more a note than a letter. It simply said; "My dearest Sean, already missing you more than my heart can bear. I don't know how I'll get through three full weeks without kissing the man I love. I can smell you..... even feel you now as ......... Must end. Da has seen me writing. Love you. Your Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxx"
Sean read and re-read the letter over and over, attempting to understand the precise nuances of every word and intonation of its fullest meaning. She was missing him as much as he was missing her and she even signed herself off as, 'Your Sarah.' His......nobody else's! Then he read the words again, feeling more and more aroused each time he uttered them aloud. He imagined himself smelling her, touching her and yes, having her. He could sense the hardening of his manhood the more he read the letter and dashed off back home before he did something daft and before someone walking their dog through the wood mistook him for some pervert indecently exposing himself to innocent passers-by.
Two days later, Sarah's second letter arrived at the post office in the Square, marked, 'To be collected in person.' It told Sean that she was still missing him and also alluded to something amiss that her Aunt Sarah and da didn't want to tell her. She told Sean that she had walked in on them one night and as soon as they saw her, they'd clammed up. 'I know that something is wrong, Sean, but it's obviously for their ears only,' she wrote. 'Perhaps Aunt Sarah has received medical confirmation that she's not for this world much longer and they didn't want me knowing until it was absolutely necessary to tell me? It wouldn't surprise me if their household was to be struck a double blow!"
The third and last letter Sean received from Sarah worried him greatly; not for what it said, but for what it alluded to, but didn't disclose. The only endearments expressed by Sarah was in the introduction and the expression of love and the single kiss at the end. The rest comprised of one brief paragraph, which, according to the scrawl, had been written hurriedly. It read:
"Dearest Sean,
Forgive my brevity, but I'm afraid that it will be no longer possible to write again before I return home in two weeks' time. Please understand. I'll explain when we next see each other. Love Sarah x."
With no phone number where he could contact Sarah, Sean had no other option, but to sit it out until her return from Donegal. These were probably the longest two weeks of his life. It felt like he'd been sentenced to a purgatory on earth: a life of limbo where all manner of existence had been placed in a state of suspended animation until Sarah's return.
His every moment of the day was filled with thoughts wondering what Sarah was doing now. Was she cleaning her aunt's house or had she found some nice river where she might row a boat or had she perhaps found another wood to play her violin in? More importantly, was she thinking of him as he was her?
His sleep pattern had been greatly interrupted with images of Sarah; particularly of the two occasions when they had made love. He became more and more sexually frustrated as he awaited his sweetheart's return.
The third and last letter Sean received from Sarah worried him greatly; not for what it said, but for what it alluded to, but didn't disclose. The only endearments expressed by Sarah was in the introduction and the expression of love and the single kiss at the end. The rest comprised of one brief paragraph, which, according to the scrawl, had been written hurriedly. It read:
"Dearest Sean,
Forgive my brevity, but I'm afraid that it will be no longer possible to write again before I return home in two weeks' time. Please understand. I'll explain when we next see each other. Love Sarah x."
With no phone number where he could contact Sarah, Sean had no other option, but to sit it out until her return from Donegal. These were probably the longest two weeks of his life. It felt like he'd been sentenced to a purgatory on earth: a life of limbo where all manner of existence had been placed in a state of suspended animation until Sarah's return.
His every moment of the day was filled with thoughts wondering what Sarah was doing now. Was she cleaning her aunt's house or had she found some nice river where she might row a boat or had she perhaps found another wood to play her violin in? More importantly, was she thinking of him as he was her?
His sleep pattern had been greatly interrupted with images of Sarah; particularly of the two occasions when they had made love. He became more and more sexually frustrated as he awaited his sweetheart's return.
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