"Ladies, whatever have you done with your hair? Do you remember seeing all the ladies between the 1930's and the 1960's in a headscarf in all manner of place; in the factory or at home concealing a head of curlers and paper ribbons etc? I can also recall as a young boy, never seeing a male in church with his hat on or a woman without some head covering her crown of glory. Today, one experiences all manner of hue and cry on the high street of fashion as pink, purple and two-toned skulls walk the pathways looking like a Saturday night outing by a group of zombies. Look closer towards the root of problem however, and you will be able to detect those natural grey hairs struggling to breathe from beneath all the toner, hair dye and lacquer that is more commonly applied as routine maintenance. It has always puzzled me, that given all the rubbish chemicals and coloured potions which ladies apply to their crowns, why women aren't the ones to go bald as a general rule instead of the chaps.
There again, women have always been able to kid the chaps. Take the war years for instance; see how the men were led on by a cleverly drawn line from thigh to foot in the perfect disguise of sheer silk stockings. Picture the scene. It’s Saturday night in 1941, and you want to wear stockings with your going-out dress, but you don't look the part from the thighs down. The new wonder material nylon has been rationed for the war effort and has disappeared from department store shelves. What do you do in such times of patriotic privation? You have no nylon stockings and you are not prepared to pay a Yankee soldier the Burnley going rate for a pair of silk ones? You get resourceful and draw a stocking seam with an eyebrow pencil; a task that was always easier with the help of a friend.
No, the fairer sex have always been capable of pulling the wool over the eyes of their menfolk, whether it's padding their bras or penciling their long legs; until of course some poor drunken chap actually tries to remove such garments from the body of his fair lady. Perhaps all women wear wigs and none of their chaps ever notice as we continue to live out our marital lives in blissful ignorance! Well, think about it chaps. when was the last time you ever tried to pull the hair off your woman's head? Never, I bet!" William Forde: August 27th, 2013.