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      • Rebecca's Revenge
      • Come Back Peter
    • Tales from Portlaw >
      • No Need to Look for Love
      • 'The Love Quartet' >
        • The Tannery Wager
        • 'Fini and Archie'
        • 'The Love Bridge'
        • 'Forgotten Love'
      • The Priest's Calling Card >
        • Chapter One - The Irish Custom
        • Chapter Two - Patrick Duffy's Family Background
        • Chapter Three - Patrick Duffy Junior's Vocation to Priesthood
        • Chapter Four - The first years of the priesthood
        • Chapter Five - Father Patrick Duffy in Seattle
        • Chapter Six - Father Patrick Duffy, Portlaw Priest
        • Chapter Seven - Patrick Duffy Priest Power
        • Chapter Eight - Patrick Duffy Groundless Gossip
        • Chapter Nine - Monsignor Duffy of Portlaw
        • Chapter Ten - The Portlaw Inheritance of Patrick Duffy
      • Bigger and Better >
        • Chapter One - The Portlaw Runt
        • Chapter Two - Tony Arrives in California
        • Chapter Three - Tony's Life in San Francisco
        • Chapter Four - Tony and Mary
        • Chapter Five - The Portlaw Secret
      • The Oldest Woman in the World >
        • Chapter One - The Early Life of Sean Thornton
        • Chapter Two - Reporter to Investigator
        • Chapter Three - Search for the Oldest Person Alive
        • Chapter Four - Sean Thornton marries Sheila
        • Chapter Five - Discoveries of Widow Friggs' Past
        • Chapter Six - Facts and Truth are Not Always the Same
      • Sean and Sarah >
        • Chapter 1 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
        • Chapter 2 - 'The early years of sweet innocence in Portlaw'
        • Chapter 3 - 'The Separation'
        • Chapter 4 - 'Separation and Betrayal'
        • Chapter 5 - 'Portlaw to Manchester'
        • Chapter 6 - 'Salford Choices'
        • Chapter 7 - 'Life inside Prison'
        • Chapter 8 - 'The Aylesbury Pilgrimage'
        • Chapter 9 - Sean's interest in stone masonary'
        • Chapter 10 - 'Sean's and Tony's Partnership'
        • Chapter 11 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
      • The Alternative Christmas Party >
        • Chapter One
        • Chapter Two
        • Chapter Three
        • Chapter Four
        • Chapter Five
        • Chapter Six
        • Chapter Seven
        • Chapter Eight
      • The Life of Liam Lafferty >
        • Chapter One: ' Liam Lafferty is born'
        • Chapter Two : 'The Baptism of Liam Lafferty'
        • Chapter Three: 'The early years of Liam Lafferty'
        • Chapter Four : Early Manhood
        • Chapter Five : Ned's Secret Past
        • Chapter Six : Courtship and Marriage
        • Chapter Seven : Liam and Trish marry
        • Chapter Eight : Farley meets Ned
        • Chapter Nine : 'Ned comes clean to Farley'
        • Chapter Ten : Tragedy hits the family
        • Chapter Eleven : The future is brighter
      • The life and times of Joe Walsh >
        • Chapter One : 'The marriage of Margaret Mawd and Thomas Walsh’
        • Chapter Two 'The birth of Joe Walsh'
        • Chapter Three 'Marriage breakup and betrayal'
        • Chapter Four: ' The Walsh family breakup'
        • Chapter Five : ' Liverpool Lodgings'
        • Chapter Six: ' Settled times are established and tested'
        • Chapter Seven : 'Haworth is heaven is a place on earth'
        • Chapter Eight: 'Coming out'
        • Chapter Nine: Portlaw revenge
        • Chapter Ten: ' The murder trial of Paddy Groggy'
        • Chapter Eleven: 'New beginnings'
      • The Woman Who Hated Christmas >
        • Chapter One: 'The Christmas Enigma'
        • Chapter Two: ' The Breakup of Beth's Family''
        • Chapter Three: From Teenager to Adulthood.'
        • Chapter Four: 'The Mills of West Yorkshire.'
        • Chapter Five: 'Harrison Garner Showdown.'
        • Chapter Six : 'The Christmas Dance'
        • Chapter Seven : 'The ballot for Shop Steward.'
        • Chapter Eight: ' Leaving the Mill'
        • Chapter Ten: ' Beth buries her Ghosts'
        • Chapter Eleven: Beth and Dermot start off married life in Galway.
        • Chapter Twelve: The Twin Tragedy of Christmas, 1992.'
        • Chapter Thirteen: 'The Christmas star returns'
        • Chapter Fourteen: ' Beth's future in Portlaw'
      • The Last Dance >
        • Chapter One - ‘Nancy Swales becomes the Widow Swales’
        • Chapter Two ‘The secret night life of Widow Swales’
        • Chapter Three ‘Meeting Richard again’
        • Chapter Four ‘Clancy’s Ballroom: March 1961’
        • Chapter Five ‘The All Ireland Dancing Rounds’
        • Chapter Six ‘James Mountford’
        • Chapter Seven ‘The All Ireland Ballroom Latin American Dance Final.’
        • Chapter Eight ‘The Final Arrives’
        • Chapter Nine: 'Beth in Manchester.'
      • 'Two Sisters' >
        • Chapter One
        • Chapter Two
        • Chapter Three
        • Chapter Four
        • Chapter Five
        • Chapter Six
        • Chapter Seven
        • Chapter Eight
        • Chapter Nine
        • Chapter Ten
        • Chapter Eleven
        • Chapter Twelve
        • Chapter Thirteen
        • Chapter Fourteen
        • Chapter Fifteen
        • Chapter Sixteen
        • Chapter Seventeen
      • Fourteen Days >
        • Chapter One
        • Chapter Two
        • Chapter Three
        • Chapter Four
        • Chapter Five
        • Chapter Six
        • Chapter Seven
        • Chapter Eight
        • Chapter Nine
        • Chapter Ten
        • Chapter Eleven
        • Chapter Twelve
        • Chapter Thirteen
        • Chapter Fourteen
      • ‘The Postman Always Knocks Twice’ >
        • Author's Foreword
        • Contents
        • Chapter One
        • Chapter Two
        • Chapter Three
        • Chapter Four
        • Chapter Five
        • Chapter Six
        • Chapter Seven
        • Chapter Eight
        • Chapter Nine
        • Chapter Ten
        • Chapter Eleven
        • Chapter Twelve
        • Chapter Thirteen
        • Chapter Fourteen
        • Chapter Fifteen
        • Chapter Sixteen
        • Chapter Seventeen
        • Chapter Eighteen
        • Chapter Nineteen
        • Chapter Twenty
        • Chapter Twenty-One
        • Chapter Twenty-Two
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Song For Today: 30th November 2020

30/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to two earthly birthday celebrants, and one to the husband of a good Facebook friend, who sadly died on November 14th, 2020 but whose birthday it would have been today. 

The two earthly people celebrating their birthday today are Ranall Norris who comes from Carrick-on-Suir but who currently lives in Dublin, Ireland. We also wish a happy birthday to Fiona Ibiza who originates from Carrick-on-Suir in Tipperary but who presently lives in Ibiza, Spain. Enjoy your special day, Rannal, and Fiona, and thank you for being my Facebook friend. We all hope that you have a wonderful day.

Last, but by no means least, I cannot let this day pass without us all quietly celebrating the life of Colin Jagger who sadly died on November 14th, 2020 after many years of illness, during which his loving wife, Janice Jagger, nursed and cared for him. It would have been Colin’s 74th birthday today. Colin and Janice lived a loving life together, helping hundreds of children find their place in life during their journey through it. There are so many people who remain forever indebted to Colin and Janice for the start in life this loving couple gave them. Our thoughts today are not sad ones but celebrate the life and time of Colin Jagger on this earth, and the great good he and his wife did as a caring couple who could never dispense enough love to others who benefited from being a part of their ‘special family’. What better way to commemorate the life and time of Colin Jagger today than to sing Colin’s favourite song, ‘Mr. Tambourine Man’, and to think kindly of his wife and soulmate, Janice, whose heart, mind, thoughts, and feelings will never be separated from the man she proudly called ‘My life. My Colin’.

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The man who originally popularised the song I sing for you today was the great Bob Dylan. Born Robert Allen Zimmerman in May 1941, the American singer-songwriter, author, and visual artist, Bob Dylan, broke into our lives during the early years of the 1960s. Though I was never lucky enough to see and hear him, except listen to his voice from his records, and the few public interviews he ever gave, we grew up in the same time zone (him being 18 months older than me). Widely regarded as being one of the greatest songwriters of all time, Bob Dylan has been a major figure for almost sixty years. Much of his most celebrated work dates from the 1960s when songs such as ‘Blowing in the Wind’ (1963) and ‘The Times They Are a-Changing’ (1964) became anthems for the civil rights and anti-war movements. 

His lyrics during this period incorporated a range of political, social, philosophical, and literary influences. He was as much a poet as he was a lyricist, as much a historian of the past as he is a troubadour of the present. A lover of song, Bob Dylan protested in tune to the march of his followers who faithfully listened to his words of anti-war and pro-peace as he led them in Pied Piper fashion into the cannabis-mist haze of the 1960s.

In many ways, Bob Dylan defied the musical convention of the times as his appeal grew ever greater to the burgeoning counterculture who sought their history through folk songs and controversial causes of the age. In 1965 and 1966, Dylan drew controversy to himself once more when he adopted electrically amplified rock instrumentation, and in the space of 15 months recorded three of the most important and influential rock albums of the 1960s: ‘Bringing It All Back Home’ (1965), Highway 61 Revisited’ (1965), and ‘Blonde on Blonde’ (1966). 

In July 1966, Dylan withdrew from touring after a motorcycle accident. During this period, he recorded a large body of songs with members of the band who had previously backed him on tour. These recordings were released as the collaborative album ‘The Basement Tapes’ in 1975. In the late 1960s and early 1970s, Dylan explored country music and rural themes. In the late 1970s, he became a born-again Christian and released a series of albums of contemporary gospel music before returning to his more familiar rock-based idiom in the early 1980s. Dylan's 1997 album ‘ Time out of Mind’ marked the beginning of a renaissance for his career. He has released five critically acclaimed albums of original material since then, the most recent being ‘Rough and Rowdy Ways’ (2020) whilst being almost 80 years old!
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Since 1994, Dylan has published eight books of drawings and paintings, and his work has been exhibited in major art galleries. He has sold more than 100 million records, making him one of the best-selling artists of all time. He has received numerous awards, including the ‘Presidential Medal of Freedom’, ten Grammy Awards, a Golden Globe, and an ‘Academy Award’. Dylan has been inducted into the ‘Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’, ‘Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame’, and the ‘Songwriters Hall of Fame’. The ‘Pulitzer Prize Board’ in 2008 awarded him a special citation for "his profound impact on popular music and American culture, marked by compositions of extraordinary lyrical and poetic power". In 2016, Dylan was awarded the ‘Nobel Prize in Literature’ "for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition".

I remain firmly of the view that the great Bob Dylan was much more than a protest singer of the 1960s. He has been one of the most important singers of my time and in my life.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 29th November 2020

29/11/2020

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I dedicate my song to my beautiful wife, Sheila, who celebrates her 64th birthday today, and I truly swear she would pass for fifty on a bad hair day. I love you sweetheart and I remain ever fortunate we met and married. Bill xxx 

PLEASE DO NOT DETRACT FROM OTHER BIRTHDAY CELEBRANTS TODAY BY ADDING FURTHER CONGRATULATIONS TO MY WIFE SHEILA ON THIS AFTERNOON POST, AS SHE HAS HER OWN POST FROM ME EARLIER THIS MORNING.

Other birthday celebrants today include Randal Burns who lives in Sparks, Nevada, U.S.A. and David Drohan who originates from Carrick-on-Suir in Tipperary, but who now lives in County Cork, Ireland. A third birthday celebrant today is Andrea Cano-Gil who is originally from the Costa del Sol but who now lives in Leyland, Lancashire. We all hope that Randal, David, and Andrea enjoy their special day.

My song today is ‘Living on Love’. This song “Livin’ on Love” was written and recorded by American country music singer Alan Jackson.  It was released in August 1994 as the second single from his album ‘Who I Am’. In late 1994, it became his ninth Number 1 hit on the Billboard country charts. It also reached Number 1 on the ‘Bubbling Under Hot 100’.

The song describes a couple who are ‘living on love’. In the first verse, they are ‘two young people without a thing’, while throughout the song they age, still in love with each other. 

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When many couples who marry young think back to the happiest years of their marriage, they frequently see the best years as being those years when they were first starting out and hadn’t two pennies to rub together. These may have been the days when being new parents automatically involved, practical and material struggles to negotiate in their daily lives. Not having a minute to stop and catch one’s breath: trying to cope with a new baby while continuing to study in one’s spare hours for that educational course: young mothers feeling ‘loved out’ while young dads feel to be ‘pushed out’ of their wife’s affections: preparing for a change of career you intend to make once your young children start First School: being in the type of employment that gets you home at the end of the day too late to read a bedtime story to your child/children and tuck them into bed, instead of having to silently creep into their bedroom when you eventually get home and giving them a slight kiss on their forehead while they sleep to assuage parental guilt.

And yet, it is often such days in one’s early married life that are looked back upon as being the happiest of times! I suspect it was because, however rough and choppy the waters our marriage boat has to sail in at the start of the marital voyage, both husband and wife are usually rowing in the same direction when they begin the start of their journey together.

Herein lies the secret to all happy marriages, rowing together takes less individual effort as a couple than one person of a duo doing it all by themselves! Also, rowing in the same direction (even if the couple later decides to change course and destination) keeps both partners upon the same course that the ‘marriage boat’ is travelling. It is only when one of the marriage partners stands up and asserts their needs that we see the first sign of instability in the ‘marriage boat’ as it rocks unsteadily from side-to-side. Once the vessel is unbalanced, it threatens to capsize and divorce the union of both oars-people unless stability and calm are instantly restored.

Married couples who disagree on fundamental principles of marriage and parenthood (after they have exchanged wedding rings and have got in the same two-person boat) are clearly heading for choppy waters. Forthcoming separation of the parties is heralded when one person throws their oar overboard and refuses to carry on as previously agreed, or jumps boat, or even tries to bring a third-party passenger aboard their two-person vessel. If any of these obstructive boulders start to muddy the marital water, it reflects a couple’s union is on a downward slope, is out of control, and is heading dangerously toward the rapids and waterfall ahead!
Given the choice of one’s most precious asset in life, would we opt for health, hope or happiness?  I have not the faintest doubt, which sits at the top of my 'priority tree'. The most important one of the three in my mind is ‘happiness’ because though one’s state of ‘happiness’ might be 'influenced' by the presence of the other two (health and hope) it is not 'determined' by them. However, wherever the absence of ‘happiness’ prevails, the power of the 'H-triumvirate' is instantly diminished, as there remains no hope, and one’s health is always damaged. 

Being ‘happy’ necessitates having a positive thought process, and feeling good about oneself and life, in general, most of the time. Being 'happy' implies having a purpose in life and satisfactory loving experiences, and being competent and effective in the things we do in our daily lives. Such aspects of character make us feel good enough about ourselves and promote self-confidence and personal reassurance that ‘things will turn up’. This positive attitude displayed in a Wilkins Micawber philosophy in the 1850 Charles Dickens novel David Copperfield, brings out the optimism required to see beyond the rapids during stormy travels in the ‘marriage boat’, especially when the marital waters are not so calm.

If you can imagine two people marrying each other as representing two jigsaw pieces that form a perfect couple, you will be able to see the parameter of the larger picture. You will also be able to better see the negative consequences when either man or wife significantly changes after they have married. Unless their marriage partner also changes to make the corresponding allowance, the two pieces will no longer fit together snugly to form one perfect unit. 

Marriage is not much different from making a jigsaw together. For around half of all married couples who try to make the jigsaw together, approximately half of them will give up on ever completing the task. The secret of all successful marriages is to establish the agreed boundaries at the start of the process. This enables the two people to mutually mark out one’s edges which are being worked towards in combined purpose. Such agreed boundaries are necessary if husband and wife are to hold the same finished picture at the forefront of their minds at all times. When both partners alter and extend the boundaries of the larger picture they are creating together, or take away from each other’s part in the process, they will always come up either short in their expectations, with both left holding unacceptable pieces of self which no longer has a place in the finished picture. Such a feeling is prevalent in all failed marriages at the point of deciding to divorce. 

Whatever two individuals want from their marriage, the healthier, happier, and more hopeful they can remain throughout it will prove a sufficient foundation for them to face whatever difficulties may lay ahead as they build their life together. However difficult married life might be, all of us are capable of being able to ‘live on love’, but none of us will ever satisfactorily survive the journey of a life-long marriage without it!
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Love and peace Bill xxx

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Song For Today: 29th November 2020

29/11/2020

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SHEILA & BILL IN LOCKDOWN AT HOME IN HAWORTH ON SHEILA'S  64th BIRTHDAY: NOVEMBER 29th, 2020.

Today is my beautiful wife Sheila's 64th birthday. I defy anyone to show me any woman anywhere who looks as young as my lass does at the grand old age of 64, or who is as fit. Happy birthday, sweetheart. Thank you for being a big part of my life. And for anyone who does not believe in your angelic qualities, let them hear your voice from heaven, and then dispute your angelic qualities. I love you lots. Bill xxx

People often ask me for suggestions that they and their wives can do to ease the boredom of this lockdown we are all experiencing together. The only answers that I can supply involve 'being together' in the best of possible ways: making love together, praying together, and singing together. So, whatever you choose to do, as long as you do it together, it matters not what you do. Have a nice day, everyone.
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Love and peace Bill and Sheila xxx
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Song For Today: 28th November 2020

28/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Joanne Brown, who lives in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. Joanne celebrates her birthday today and is the wife of my nephew, Lee, and the mother of my great-niece, Chloe.

My song today is, “I’ll Share My World with You’. This is a song by American country singer George Jones. It was written by Ben Wilson and reached the Number 2 spot when it was released by Jones in 1969. It also reached Number 126 on the U.S. pop chart, his first appearance there since 1964. Its title and sentiments are like Jones's 1967 Number 1 song " Walk Through This World with Me’. The song composer, Ben Wilson was an elderly man who lived in Miami and had made his way through life making souvenirs from seashells before turning to professional songwriting at age fifty-four. George Jones performed "I'll Share My World with You" live throughout his career, usually as part of a medley of older hits.

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There is no greater experience of sharing one’s world with another than being in a ‘love bond’ with them, whether it is husband and wife, father and child, mother and child, or sibling and sibling. We all know this to be true when we lose one of these ‘love bond’ relationships because of death. It is only when we are part of a bereaved coupling that we truly experience the extent of the loss in our lives. A large aching hole appears in us which creates a well of despondency from which many of us risk drawing from too often, and which we expel in our tear ducts of sad and happy reflections. 

Sharing used to be an integral part of good manners and appropriate modelling that all good parents would ensure was incorporated into their children’s values and behaviour and response pattern before they started First School back in the 1940s.  Having been baptised and reared a Catholic by Christian parents, the Catholic school I attended naturally reinforced those views in everything they taught us. Indeed, I have known of many a non-Catholic parent who would prefer to send their child to a Catholic school because of the values which children were conditioned to reproduce in their daily behaviour.

I also recall the significant change in societal behaviour around the time I became Probation Officer in 1970. This was a time when year-upon-year, people in positions of relative power seemed more prepared to assert their position to acquire whatever change they desired in a more confrontative and aggressive manner. As England advanced over the next thirty years, society became more confrontational in its individual and collective response. Whereas at one time all protest would have been peacefully pursued, as the 70s turned into the 80s, and the 80s into the 90s, the ‘Flower Power’ days of my twenties had changed into the ‘Me Power Brigade’. 

I recall mass protests of workers against employers: rubbish left uncollected for months on end, grave diggers refusing to bury the dead until they received a 25 per cent pay rise: three-day week rationing for electricity during the miner’s strike and lit candles the other four days: mothers and women marching against the bomb and spending years living in tents as they protested on-site Greenham Common: mass public demonstrations against government poll taxes: rioting in the streets of Brixton: Toxteth riots in Liverpool, setting fire to buildings: constant conflict between public protesters and police: the overuse of the SUS laws with black citizens:  the massive increase in the casual use of knives, and the gang culture killings in our inner cities: the 1990s culminating in racial rioting in the north of England. And just to keep everyone on their toes, the Yorkshire Ripper was still killing women as they walked home at night!

Today merely witnesses a worsening time as the ‘Black Lives Matter’ protesters have indicated to the watching world while USA police officers are so reckless and criminal in their behaviour that too many black people being apprehended finish up dead!

Whichever direction I looked, I no longer witnessed disputes which were once resolved by non-aggressive means. Whether citizens on the street or our MPs in parliament, all courtesy has gone out of the window, and only those individuals and groups who were prepared to shout the loudest and press their cause the more vociferously are heard! The society, which had in my youth saw sharing as being part of one’s duty had gradually transformed into the selfish mob of ‘Me! Me’ individuals, out to look after ‘Jack’ and be damned the rest of us.

If you ask me, it is time we got back to the custom of sharing and re-learning the Christian and neighbourly virtue of looking out for each other.

Love and peace Bill xxx

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Song For Today: 27th November 2020

27/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Ann Buck who lives in Plymouth, England. Ann celebrates her birthday today. Enjoy your special day, Ann, and thank you for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘The Fat Man’. This was a song by American rhythm and blues recording artist Fats Domino. It was written by Domino and Dave Bartholomew and was recorded on December 10th, 1949. It is often cited as being among one of the first rock and roll records.

The tune is a variation on the traditional New Orleans tune ‘Junker Blues’ as played by Willie Hall, which also provided the melody for Lloyd Price’s ‘Lawdy Miss Clawdy’. The Fat Man features Domino's piano with a distinct backbeat that dominates both the lead and the rhythm section. Earl Palmer said it was the first time a drummer played nothing but ‘backbeat’ for recording, which he said he derived from a Dixieland chorus.

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Being extremely large (fat) in body volume is seen by different cultures in the world in very different ways. In some Eastern countries, being weighty is seen as being a sign of wealth and opulence, whereas having too much weight in the western hemisphere is more often perceived to be unhealthy and physically unattractive. There is a world of difference in how a sumo wrestler (rikishi) is both perceived and respected by their Japanese followers and how we in western society would view an unfit man of gross size, and whose weight prevents them living a reasonable life.

Indeed, the very fact that Sumo wrestlers are known as ‘rikishi’ in Japan identifies the way they are regarded by Japanese society. Rikishi is two characters of the kanji meaning ‘strength’ and ‘warrior’. 

The heaviest Sumo wrestler in history was Yamamotoyama who weighed in at 265 kg (584 lb). He was born in 1984 and is also thought to be the heaviest Japanese person who ever lived.

When we compare the heaviest man ever born (Jon Brower Minnoch) with the heaviest ever Sumo wrestler, we soon spot the difference. Jon Brower Minnoch had suffered from obesity since childhood and eventually grew into a man who weighed 442 kg (974 lb); nearly 400 lbs more than the heaviest ever Japanese Sumo wrestler. He lived in Washington, U.S.A., and died just before his 42nd birthday.

While the Sumo wrestlers deliberately eat to bulk up their body weight, any western person wishing to reduce their weight should take close note of how the Sumo ‘deliberately’ gets fat, and do the very opposite to bring about their desired body weight. Whether one desires to be either fat or thin, the two worst things one can do is to either starve one’s body of calories or consume too many calories. Whereas fat Sumo wrestlers get their bulk weight from eating large amounts of chankonabe (a soup that is rich in calories), obese eaters in the west gain their weight by eating high-calorific and sugary processed food and lots of carbohydrates; which is found in all ‘fast food’. Two other significant differences between Japanese Sumo fat and western McDonald fat is where the fat is lodged in one’s body, as well as the degree to how the consumer exercises their body.

Sumo wrestlers eat up to 7,000 calories a day and weigh 300 to 400 pounds on average, or two to three times as much as the average adult male. While that may not sound like the healthiest lifestyle, you should not judge a book, or a body, by its cover. Take a closer look, and you will discover that what really counts is not the number of calories consumed but what is going on inside the Sumo wrestler’s body.

Normally, people with obesity store a portion of their extra fat deep inside the abdomen, where it wraps around the pancreas, liver, and other vital organs. We call this ‘visceral fat’. It pollutes the blood with molecules that can cause inflammation, and this is the major factor why obesity can lead to health issues like high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes, and heart attacks.

Sumo wrestlers, however, do not usually suffer from these symptoms during their professional careers. So, what is their trick? CT scans reveal that Sumo wrestlers do not have much visceral fat at all. Instead, they store most of their fat immediately beneath the skin. That is why scientists think Sumo wrestlers are healthy. They have normal levels of triglycerides (a type of fat in their blood), and unexpectedly low levels of cholesterol; both of which lower their risk of heart disease, heart attack, and strokes.

So, how did they manage to hit the jackpot on fat? The secret lies in their name, ‘Sumo wrestler’. Studies show that intense exercise may prevent the build-up of visceral fat. Basically, it has to do with how exercise increases a hormone called ‘adiponectin’. Adiponectin guides glucose and the unhealthy fat molecules ‘out of our bloodstream’, where they would otherwise build up as visceral fat, and instead, it puts them instead, underneath the skin of the Sumo wrestler.

Bear in mind the tremendous amount of daily exercise a Sumo wrestler gets. At a sumo stable, or ‘heya’, as it is called in Japan, training starts as early as 5:00 a.m. and can last for up to five hours without a break, daily. Also, the amount of energy expended is much more than what you'd expect to find at a typical western group-fitness class. For example, the exercise is intense and is relentlessly practised. During an exercise called ‘butsukari-geiko’, wrestlers take turns repeatedly hitting and pushing each other until they collapse to the floor from physical exhaustion. And then, of course, there is also the match, where competing Sumo wrestlers try to shove their opponent out of the ring or force them to touch the ground with any body part other than the soles of their feet.

However, here lies the hidden warning message in the lives of all people who vigorously exercise to keep fit and healthy; whatever their age and the type and extent of their exercise. As soon as the exercise stops being a routine part of their life, so do its benefits. When Sumo wrestlers retire, like all western athletes such as weightlifters, they also have to seriously cut their calory intake, or they become a high risk of contracting cardiovascular disease. That might explain why retired Sumo wrestlers reportedly die an estimated 10 years younger than the average Japanese citizen. So, while the thought of eating 7,000 calories a day might be appealing when they are daily in the wrestling ring trying to topple a 400-pound man, once they step out of this highly exercised world into a more sedentary one where all exercise stops, they hit trouble where it hurts most; in their health and more sedentary bodies!

If I could live my life over again, I would never diet as dieting does no good ‘in the long term’. Whereas most dieters may lose their targeted weight initially, just as soon as they stop dieting, they gain it back even quicker than they lost it, and with a few extra lbs in interest.

Now, if you are a fat man or a fat woman out there, and your health could significantly benefit from the loss of a couple of stones (relatively speedily),  let me tell you what to do. 

Do what I did. I got myself a food expert as a lover who is called ‘Sheila’ and like any wise married man, I learned to listen to my wife. Sheila is a Yoga teacher and is 14 years younger than me. She looks no older than fifty years (though she is 64). As Boris might put it, ‘she is as fit as a butcher’s dog!’ Her secret food regime lost me three stones in weight at a time in my life where three extra stones mattered considerably to my health, given my increasing immobility as I got older with the worsening osteoarthritis condition in my legs. Being unable to exercise much, climb stairs easily, and breathe without panting whenever I over-energised my muscles (with the history of two severe heart attacks within the space of one week at the age of 59 years), I decided that a change needed to come.

I had weighed 16 stone in the nude for around ten years, and even though two nine-month courses of chemotherapy lost me some weight initially, like most diets, the lbs went back on when the treatment stopped and my health and appetite improved. Even a dozen operations for three separate cancer conditions (seven operations and forty sessions of radiotherapy in a two-year period); even all that did not reduce me to less than the 16 stone man I was. I have always loved my food, and I still do, but the main difference today is this. Despite having three different body cancers currently (one of the cancers terminal), I feel remarkably healthier in mind and body than I have for many a year.

To improve the exercise of my lungs, I have engaged in a few hours daily singing practice over the past three years, and my lung capacity and blood oxygenation levels now register a healthy normal, having improved twenty percent since when I first began singing practice. I also allowed my wife Sheila to provide me with a food regime which she considered healthy for me; a food regime which contained food I liked eating, at amounts sufficient to fill me, and of a type which did not put on additional weight.

This was the best health advice I have ever followed by any person in my life. In less than one six-month period, I lost three stones and I have maintained this weight loss ever since. My previous Goodyear double-tiered gut has vanished, and although I cannot claim to have a six-pack group of stomach muscles, what stomach muscles I do possess today fit comfortably on the single stomach shelf of a 78-year-old man. For the first time since I passed sixty, I can see my toes as well as touch them. Come to think of it, I can also see other parts of my lower region, which I lost sight of long ago! Having three different body cancers currently and awaiting the probability of another major cancer operation; and having had nine cancer operations in the past 27 months, along with forty bouts of radiotherapy sessions, plus many other medical procedures, my three-stone loss in weight has proved vital to my sustenance and essential to my survival throughout.

I don’t know where that lass of mine gets all her knowledge about the many nutritional types of food and their positive and cumulative effects upon the body from, but the next time I go up to her bedroom and scour through her reading material, this former fat man will wager £1 to one penny that I’ll find a book there about the history of Sumo wrestlers.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 26th November 2020

26/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to four people who celebrate their birthday today. Our first birthday celebrant is my great-niece, Darcy Forde. Darcy lives with her parents (Michael and Amanda) in Birstall, Batley, and is the granddaughter of my brother Michael and his wife Denise. Next, we wish Pascal Poppler who lives in Monte-Carlo, Monaco, birthday wishes. We also wish a happy birthday to Hannah Walsh who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Finally, we wish a happy birthday to Declan Delahunty who also comes from Carrick-on-Suir but who presently lives in New York with his wife and two young children. Enjoy your special day, Darcy, Pascall, Hannah, and Declan.

My song today is ‘Perfect Day’. This song is sung every year between Norah Bower and her daughter, Helen Avison on mum’s birthday. It is their special song that symbolises the close friendship that any mother can have with her loving daughter and closest friend. We wish Norah (who lives in Wilsden, West Yorkshire) a happy 82nd birthday today. Born in Liverpool, Norah grew up in Donegal, Ireland, and recalls the happiest of childhoods. It gives me the greatest pleasure to invite all of you to sing along with Helen and her mother today, and help to make this old lady’s day, a ‘Perfect Day’.

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I ask all of you today to positively focus on the year ahead and to remain eternally grateful for all of the good days in our lives. Our own experiences can better help all our tomorrows, so long as we journey forward with gratitude, understanding, acceptance, hope, love, forbearance, and forgiveness.

What makes a ‘perfect day’ for one person is as different as there are belief systems. Some of us might consider being left alone in peace to be a perfect day whereas that state of isolation might drive another person around the bend just to have their own company. There is no perfect condition to be ever called the perfect time of one’s day that is not in the moment. Every day can feel to be a good day for anyone to take some action as long as that action remains good and for the benefit of others. When my mother would tell me, “It costs nothing to be kind, Billy”, I now know that she was telling me that every day is the perfect day to be kind to one another.

I often miss the presence of my mother’s smile, her sheer exuberance, and love of life, and her unshakable faith in humanity always to look at the brighter side of life and the better side of any person’s personality. I used to think as a child that if God could have been everywhere at one time, there would have been no need to make mothers to watch our backs. Had I been able to delve into my mother’s heart, I have no doubt that at the bottom of it, I would have found forgiveness and understanding in abundance.

We never know the biggest day of your life is your biggest day, not until it’s happening. We often cannot recognize the most perfect day of our life, not until we’re right in the middle of it. The day we commit to something or someone. The day we get our heart captured or broken. The day we meet and marry your soul mate. The day we realize there’s not enough time in our lives because life is good and because we want to live forever. Those are the biggest days, the best days, and the perfect days of our lives.

You cannot live a perfect day without doing something good for someone who never expected it or who will never be able to repay you. My own perfect day changes with the moment of any new experience. My own perfect day is going to bed with a dream and waking up with a purpose. My own perfect day is any day for letting go of anything which serves me no useful purpose.

So, let each of us consider today to be a perfect day to sing along with all our birthday celebrants, to help make their day perfect in every sense of the word.
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Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 25th November 2020

25/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to my friend Amy Fleming, who grew up the close friend of my daughter Rebecca when we lived in Mirfield, West Yorkshire. Today, Amy (who is the mother of five children) celebrates her birthday. Amy lives with her children and her partner Mark. 

As the author of over sixty books (half of them children’s books), one of my popular earlier books called ‘Action Annie’ was designed to highlight that girls were every bit as boisterous, outgoing, and as competent as boys. My heroine ‘Annie’ portrayed in the book had a defiant, confident, and adventurous side to her which made her the equal to any boy, and was based upon the perceived characteristics of my daughter Rebecca’s best friend, Amy Fleming. In fact, the late Dame Catherine Cookson and her husband, Tom (who were good friends of mine for a decade before their deaths), liked the character of ‘Annie’ so much that the present they gave each other on one of their wedding anniversaries was to cover the publication cost of the first limited edition of ‘Action Annie Omnibus’ books, with all sales profit going to a children’s charity. So, Amy, enjoy your special day, and that is a story to tell your children when they grow up, although I know that you have given you and Mark’s daughter, Mabel, the middle name of ‘Annie’. Love Bill xxx.

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My song today is ‘Long as I Can See the Light’. This a song by American rock band ‘Creedence Clearwater Revival’ from the album ‘Cosmo’s Factory’. It was released in 1970 and reached Number 57 on the ‘Cash Box Singles Chart’ in the US, Number 20 in the UK, and Number 1 in Norway. In the UK, ‘Long as I Can See the Light’ was placed on the A-side of the single, with "Lookin' Out My Back Door" on the flipside. The two songs were also released as a double-sided single and peaked at Number 2 in the US. While never played live by CCR, the song became a concert staple for John Fogerty as a solo artist. 

John Fogerty biographer Thomas M. Kitts describes the song as depicting a ‘world-weary figure,’ perhaps Jeremiah, who ‘undertakes an uncertain journey’. The singer is confident as long as he ‘can see the light.’ Kitts points out that the word light has two meanings in the song, a spiritual meaning, such as in "The Lord is my light" from Psalm 27, and "the secular light of love." Kitts describes the music as having a "hymnal, church-like feel." John Fogerty stated that the song is "about the loner in me. Wanting to feel understood, needing those at home to shine a light so that I can make my way back.” 

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‘Saul of Tarsus’, who was later known as St. Paul was one of the leaders of the first generation of Christians. He lived between 37 AD and 62 CE and is often considered to have been the most important person after Jesus in the history of Christianity.  In his own day, although he was a major figure within a very small Christian movement, he had many enemies and detractors, and his contemporaries probably did not accord him as much respect as they gave to the apostles, Peter and James. Paul’s earlier life as Pharisee (a group of Jewish people who administered the law), admitted to having participated ‘beyond measure’ in the persecution of Christians. This included taking part in the stoning of Stephen, a Christian. Paul’s murky past, despite his conversion to the Christian way of life, made his life thereafter a continuous struggle to establish his own worth and authority. His surviving ‘Letters’, however, have had an enormous influence on subsequent Christianity, and secure his place as one of the greatest religious leaders of all time.

Just as Paul was said to have experienced his conversation from tax collector to Christianity, while I had been baptised a Christian shortly after my birth, I would be approaching my thirties before I eventually ‘saw the light’; having converted from lawbreaker to law maker, from poacher to game keeper when I became a Probation Officer in 1971.

I am currently reading a book entitled, ‘Blue Heaven’ that was written by the late Rabbi Lionel Blue, O.B.E., the British Reform Rabbi, journalist, and broadcaster. Rabbi Blue, who sadly died on December 19th, 2016 was described by ‘The Guardian’ as being “one of the most respected religious figures in the UK". He was best known for his longstanding work with the media, most notably his wry and gentle sense of humour on ‘Thought for the Day’ on BBC Radio 4’s ‘Today’ Programme. He was the first British rabbi to publicly to declare his homosexuality. In his book, Rabbi Blue has this beautiful way of describing the human failings and frailty of mankind, as we travel and stumble through our lives. He reminds us that some unattractive traits developed in one’s childhood can often take a lifetime to convert to more acceptable behaviour.

My own childhood mirrors this unlearned side of a good person that Rabbi Blue addressed. There was a ‘niceness’ and a ‘peacefulness’, and a ‘conversion-waiting-in-the-wings’ about me as a child that I did not allow to grow out of me until my later years. My earlier life had been filled with too much anger after I had lost the use of my legs to walk for three years after incurring a bad traffic accident at the age of 11 years that almost killed me. Fortunately, in my future life, I was able to learn from my past mistakes; I was able to learn fortitude and forbearance from my frailties and gather strength from my vulnerabilities. Until my thirtieth year of life, I harboured a level of deep-seated anger inside me, which was sometimes helpful but was more often hurtful, as it was largely out of control and was prone to erupt involuntarily without warning, and thereby create negative consequences for me and others.

When I was thirty-two years old, by taking the things I had learned from my past, I was able to apply them to my future working methods, and the future learning of countless others. In short, my own work and research in the field of ‘Behaviour Modification’ led to my finding a method and process of work that would become known worldwide as ‘Anger Management’, and which would mushroom across the English speaking world within the short space of a few years. From examining my own earlier experience and expression of uncontrollable anger, I became better able to teach countless other angry people how to better manage theirs.  

What twenty-five years in my vocational life as a Probation Officer in West Yorkshire helped me to do was to show other people how to find the ‘niceness’ and ‘goodness’ in themselves which they had never allowed to grow. I would always nourish and encourage such ‘niceness’ and ‘goodness’ to be expressed, knowing that once such became a natural character trait, positive changes in their previous unhappy lifestyle and inappropriate behaviour pattern would also take place. 
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It is helpful to bear in mind that it is not merely any particular belief we can change, but all beliefs! Harmful and unhealthy irrational beliefs can be changed once we are able to convince ourselves that such conversion is possible, but such successful conversion can only come about when what is in one’s mind, feelings and actions are one and the same! When that day arrives, we can all ‘see the light’.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Medical Upate: 25th November 2020

25/11/2020

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I received a phone call from the Radiology Department. I was offered a spot at noon tomorrow which has just become available due to a last-minute cancellation, to have a full-body CT Scan. One step closer to discovering how extensive my face cancer has spread, and also if it has appeared in any other part of my body as it is seemingly prone to do due to my terminal blood cancer condition I have battled with over the past 7 years.

I should hopefully discover the height of the next hill to climb after the scan and the nature of possible options available. I am really impressed with the speed I am being fast-tracked when we hear daily of other people who cannot even get on to the first ladder rung of the system, given the backlog of non-covid cancer patients that has grown over the past year. Whatever the final outcome, none of the Forde family will ever have cause to say that the NHS ever gave me less of a service than the best they had to offer, given the under-resourced and understaffed position they have now been in for the past twenty years. I must have some special angel at my back.

All I ask of you is to continue loving yourself and others. That way, you will always be the good person you were born to be. Here is a song that I recorded late this afternoon.
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Love and peace Bill. xxx
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Song For Today: 24 November 2020

24/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to two people who are celebrating their birthday. We wish happy birthday to my great-nephew, Cain Jones, who is the son of Sharon and Steve Jones. The Jones family lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire. Cain is the grandson of my brother Patrick and his wife Elaine. Our second birthday celebrant today is Lisa Torpey who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. Enjoy your special day, Cain and Lisa.

My song today is ‘Move It on Over’. This song was written and recorded by the American country music singer, Hank Williams in 1947. ‘Move It On Over’ was recorded in Nashville on April 21, 1947, and the song is considered one of the earliest examples of rock and roll music, although many claims that the song, ‘Rock Around the Clock’ released in 1954 by Bill Haley & His Comets’ would go on to become the first hit rock and roll single. Both records feature the same 12-bar blues arrangement with a melody starting with three repetitions of an ascending arpeggio and tonic chord.

The song follows a man who is forced to sleep in the doghouse after coming home late at night and not being allowed into his house by his wife. In many respects, the song typified Williams' uncanny ability to express in a humorous way the aspects of everyday life that listeners could relate to, but rarely heard on the radio.

‘Move It on Over’ was Williams' first major hit and reached Number 4 on the ‘Billboard Most Played Juke Box Records’ chart and got him a write up in ‘The Alabama Journal’. The revenue generated by the song was the first serious money the singer had ever seen in his life. It also earned him a spot on the coveted ‘Louisiana Hayride’, which was the training ground for the ‘Grand Ole Opry’.

Many others have recorded and performed the song subsequently. Notable hit versions were performed by Bill Hayley, Ray Charles, and many more artists.

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Every married man will manage to get themselves in the ‘dog-house’ with their wife at some time in their life. During such periods of marital disharmony, the man’s wife will not talk to him, may refuse to wash his dirty underpants, or cook for him. Depending on how deprived a doghouse she has put her husband in, and for how long a length of time, he will definitely experience some ‘coitus interruptus’ through the loss of his conjugal rights for the wrong he has done her! I have even known the regular nightly headaches of a woman five times a week transmogrify into a two-year period of blinding bouts of migraine attacks that come on every time her husband undresses for the night with the bedroom lights on.

I once came across a married man who lived out in Skelmanthorpe who would frequently come home late from the pub having had one pint too many. If he had not returned from his drinking session before 11:00 pm, his wife would take his whippet dog (who normally slept in the kitchen at night-time), and tie the dog to the door handle of a small shed in the yard. When her husband eventually decided to put an appearance in, and he found the front door locked and bolted on the inside (rendering his house key pointless), he would hear his dog barking at his return. He would find the dog tied to the door of the garden shed. That was when he realised that not only had he forfeited any ‘nooky’ for the night, but he would have to sleep alongside his dog on the shed floor as a punishment.

I recall telling an animal-lover friend of mine called Jim this story and can still visualise him laughing his head off. Jim had spent a lifetime working with creatures and loved all animal life, along with their often-eccentric owners. I often think that my Probation Officer experiences over 25 years have provided me with sufficient personal stories to make a book.

In fact, were Jim still alive, I might even have asked his advice about the merits of combining a good number of my Probation Officer experiences over the years into a humorous journey of mankind at work. Jim had direct experience in this process which made him extremely happy in his later life, as well as very wealthy. He helped me so many times between 1990 and his death in early 1995 with my charitable ventures and despite his vast wealth, he lived a relatively plain and humble existence and had little love of money for money’s sake. His regular contributions to my charitable ventures would involve numerous cheques for hundreds of pounds each time he helped to promote some venture.

Yes, were Jim still alive, I would ask the retired veterinary surgeon, Alf Wight, from Thirlby in North Yorkshire (who I always called Jim), and who the world of television and film knew as ‘James Herriot’, how to cash in on a job that one loved and would have done for no wages anyway!

Incidentally, Jim was as nice and polite a man as ever drew breath, as he was generous, and I am certain he was also someone who probably never experienced being put in the dog house by his loving wife, Joan (or Catherine as she preferred to be called). He was such a gentle, kind man who considered the needs of others before those of himself. This was a personal trait he maintained until the very end of his life. Just a few hours before he died (and while he was presumably in his sickbed), he took time out to have his wife post me a signed copy of one of his books to put in my monthly charitable raffle. Another good friend of mine, John Thorpe (author of ‘Leeds Then and Now’ and a regular columnist writer with ‘The Yorkshire Evening Post’ until the mid -90s) was the proud literary raffle winner of the said autographed book from Jim.

Love and peace Bill xxx

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Song For Today: 23rd November 2020

23/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to two close friends who celebrate their birthdays today. We wish a happy birthday to Donna Winstanley who lives in Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, England, and Elaine Pollard Clickner who is from Moberly, Missouri, U.S.A. Both Donna and Elaine celebrate their birthday today. Enjoy your special day, and thank you for being my Facebook friend. 

My song today is ‘Hard to Say I’m Sorry’. This song was written by bassist Peter Cetera, who also sang lead on the track, and producer David Foster, for the group ‘Chicago’. It was released on May 16, 1982, as the lead single from the album ‘Chicago 16’ and reached Number 1 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart on September 11 of that year. It was the group's second No. 1 single and was certified Gold by the ‘Recording Industry Association of America’ (RIAA)  in September of the same year. Songwriter Cetera, a member of the ‘American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers’ (ASCAP), won an ASCAP ‘Pop Music Award’ for the song in the category, ‘Most Performed Songs’. The song was also featured as the ending theme in the movie and soundtrack for ‘Summer Lovers’. 

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It has often been said that ‘sorry’ is the hardest word. There are so many people in this world who cannot utter this word of apology. Indeed, my late father’s favourite macho film star, John Wayne, while speaking the words of one of the film characters he played said, “Never apologise. It’s a sign of weakness!” I also have known people with a sense of false pride who would rather stop talking to you than admit they were wrong or apologise for their wrong action. The simple truth is that it takes a strong person to be able to apologise sincerely and a stronger person to accept that apology and to forgive.

Unless an apology reveals the presence of a wounded heart as well as one’s pride, it may not be truly felt. Some people believe that though they may apologise, saying ‘sorry’ did not necessarily mean that they had indeed done any wrong. Saying ‘sorry’ for them in this scenario more likely means that they value your relationship more than their ego.

Then, there are people who apologise all day long, whether they have done any wrong. In fact, their extreme non-assertive behaviour essentially makes their whole life a continuous apology; an aspect of their character which can be as irritating a form of behaviour than not apologising at all. As a Probation Officer in West Yorkshire who must have run over one hundred groups over my career in so many different community settings, the two most problematic client types which I worked with who would not and could not apologise appropriately were people with aggressive behaviour and people with non-assertive behaviour. Those aggressive group members could become angry at a moment’s notice, whereas the non-assertive ‘ever-apologetic’ group member hated confrontation so much that they would avoid all socially embarrassing situations and wouldn’t say ‘boo to a goose’, however much another person offended them.

My own research and learning over two decades revealed that while these two inappropriate response pattern types seemed to be at opposite ends of the response pattern spectrum of inappropriate behaviour, in many respects, they were closer than one would ever imagine them to be. Both response types lacked one vital response ingredient of what the other had too much of. For instance, whereas the aggressive person was prone to inappropriately express too much of their ‘anger level’, yet would strongly resist acknowledging their ‘fear level’, the non-assertive person would never outwardly display their anger level but would display their high fear level. This would lead the aggressive person to suppress their fear level rather than acknowledge it, and the non-assertive person to be inwardly angry with themselves; a form of emotional implosion as opposed to external explosion and ill health. Both extreme response pattern types were used to learn from each other through behavioural rehearsal (group role play).  Whereas the aggressive group client would be actively encouraged to reveal and display their ‘fears’, the non-assertive group member would be encouraged to display their anger level in an appropriate way. In this way and through such means, a more appropriate response pattern of behaviour was developed in both the aggressive and the non-assertive group client.

The areas of social skill training that each type benefited the most from included learning to negotiate the following aspects of response appropriately assertively (not aggressively or non-assertively):
(1) Learning to make and refuse requests, with and without explanation.
(2) Giving and receiving compliments.
(3) Introducing oneself and creating a favourable first impression.

ALL THE ABOVE INVOLVE BEING ABLE TO APPROPRIATELY CONFRONT AND CHALLENGE THE INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR OF SELF AND OTHERS.
Ironically, these simple pieces of behaviour in social skills learning involve behavioural components which are present in all social behaviour, however sophisticated or difficult those behaviours may seem to negotiate.

I will always remember one group member saying to the rest of the group, “I made a huge mistake that I could not undo, and now I am having to live with the consequences of my mistake!” For twenty minutes or more I allowed the group to discuss the nature of the ‘huge mistake’ before concluding, “While we may have to learn to live with the mistake we made, we do not have to live with the emotional consequences of that mistake, if we appropriately apologise, if we are sincere in our apology if we learn from our mistake and never repeat it, and if our apology is accepted by the person initially offended by our mistake. In the event that the offended party cannot find it in their heart to forgive you, you may forgive yourself and learn to live with the knowledge of your mistake, and the effect upon the other person of your mistake, without imposing the emotional consequences of your inappropriate action upon yourself.” Apologies are never about changing the past, only the future!

Essentially, I taught group members that saying things like, ‘I’m sorry you’re angry’ is not an apology. Apologies are about YOUR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR, AND NOT THE RESPONSE OF THE PERSON YOU OFFENDED. I taught them that proper apologies have three stages that require satisfactory negotiation:
(1) Saying what you did was wrong.
(2) Acknowledging you feel bad that it hurt and caused them offence. 
(3) Asking “What can I do to make this better, to make you feel better?”

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Medical Update

23/11/2020

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Today, I spoke with the cancer consultant who performed my last operation to remove cancer from my face and sent it off for a biopsy. The biopsy reveals it to be a very aggressive cancer that will spread quickly if the remainder is not removed/eradicated soon. 
             
The next step is to get me scanned again: check my kidneys out by taking a specific blood sample: have my case discussed between all the cancer consultants and cancer/ radiologist consultant team at Leeds Hospitals. My cancer consultant will then consider the best way to proceed and will also consider options of further radiotherapy sessions, or receiving a special cancer drug before engaging with a major operation on my face. If another operation on my face is considered necessary, it will be performed as a last resort. This will only be likely to go ahead if any remaining cancer in my cheek has not spread too far into my jaw area. 

Should a major facial operation be required, it will be performed to prolong my life, and not to cosmetically enhance any face reconstruction. Even if another facial operation is successful, it will still result in me being left with a collapsed side to half my face, as all the nerves down one side of my face will have to be severed in order to remove any cancer that is intermingled between soft tissue and entwined nerves beneath the surface of my skin. Because of this, the surgeon would have to remove all soft flesh and nerves that operate the mouth movement on that side of my face. 

Unfortunately, the operation will leave me looking like a person who has incurred a massive stroke that will never improve. The terminal blood cancer which I have had for 7 years now merely aggravates every medical effort that is employed on my behalf (effectively buying me a bit more time each time I am operated on).  Over the past 7 years I have had a dozen operations plus several other invasive procedures, and even were a magic wand waved over me and I miraculously lived on for another twelve years, I would still have to deal with at least one more cancer operation on each of those years before me, as that is the very nature of the terminal blood cancer I have had for 7 years. New cancers of a varying variety will always be present in my body until one of them eventually completes their job. 
                    
Please note that there was not anything that I heard from the cancer consultant today which surprised me, as such news was expected after my last talk with her following my recent operation, plus her consultant surgeon's feedback today over the phone. She is also going to check out if there is any way I can have an MRI as well as a Cat Scan, despite me having a pacemaker installed. She believes that it is possible with a pacemaker to have an MRI, but this is rarely carried out and requires special procedures. 

Whatever the situation is, matters could only be worse today had I not pushed for a second opinion a good month ago. I cannot fault the speedy service I have received throughout from all the hospitals and in particular the three Leeds Hospitals. Because another facial operation will adversely affect all facial movement and speech, it looks like I will be unable to carry on with my daily singing practise. My daily singing is one of my major pleasures and I will be sad not to be able to continue. 
It is a good job that I already have videoed recorded another 300 new songs in advance, so I can continue to entertain you for a further year after any future operation. With the 700 songs, I have already on my singing YouTube video channel, plus another 300 songs already canned and not yet heard on my daily Facebook page, I am almost a year in advance of fresh songs to post daily. And even were I to leave you before I wanted to, Sheila will only have to replay all available thousand songs, once every three years. So none of you, will at a future date, be beyond my vocal reach, whichever side of the green sod you happen to lie on.    

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 22nd November 2020

22/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to three people who celebrate their birthday today. Our first birthday celebrant is the life-long friend of the Forde family, Kay Brennan who is married to John and lives in Kilkenny, Ireland. Kay works as a community radio broadcaster in Kilkenny. Next, we wish a happy birthday to Benny Norris who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland (the adjacent village of my birth), and last but not least, we wish a happy birthday to another good friend of mine and Sheila, Keith Hutchinson a chorister who lives in Keighley. We wish Kay, Benny, and Keith the happiest of special days. Enjoy yourselves.

My song today is, ‘Knock on Wood’. This was a 1966 hit song that was written by Eddie Floyd and Steve Cropper, and was originally performed by Floyd. The song has become covered by later artists, most notably, Amii Stewart, in 1979, when it reached the Number 1 spot in the US chart. David Bowie also released a live performance of the song as a UK single in 1974.

Stewart's disco version was the most successful on weekly music charts. This recording peaked at Number 28 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart and spent one week at Number 1 on the ‘Soul Singles Chart’. It reached the Top 10 twice in the UK, first in 1979 (peaking at Number 6) and again in a remixed version in 1985 (peaking at Number 7). The version earned a Gold certification on March 22, 1979, and then a Platinum certification on August 1 the same year from RIAA when the single sold over a million units. It would go on to become one of the anthems for the gay community. 

Floyd and Cropper wrote the song in the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee. Cropper later stated in interviews that there was a lightning storm the night that he and Eddie wrote the song, hence the lyrics 'It's like thunder, lightning, The way you love me is frightening'. Floyd's version earned a Gold certification from the ‘Recording Industry Association of America’ (RIAA) on July 17, 1995.

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This song reminds me of a young man who used to work at the same textile firm as I did. He once told his workmates during a meal break one day that when he was courting the young woman he eventually married, that he and his girlfriend had to conduct their relationship in secret because of parental objection to the relationship. Being the era it was, they eventually eloped and married in the village of Gretna Green, Scotland.

It was the time of the emergence of the Teddy Boy cult. Ever since Victorian times, England had grown accustomed to seeing their young men as being smaller versions of their fathers in terms of image. This was the time when father and son adopted an almost identical dress sense. The hair of all males would be cut short. In fact, children born into the poorest of families, and whose parents could not afford to send their boys to the barber’s shop, would cut the hair of their male children themselves. We often joked about mothers placing a ‘pudding bowl’ over their son’s head and just trimming around the bowl rim as though they were trimming extra pastry off the rim of a pie dish! In fact, come to think of it, I am sure that the term, ‘mop of hair’ came from the use of the pudding bowl shape. As for girls from poor families, their hair was often crudely shorn to make it easier to wash lice out. 

During the early 1950s, the young witnessed the rise of the American film star James Byron Dean. Dean, who became a cultural icon of his age. Dean represented teenage disillusionment and social estrangement of the times between the emerging generation gap, as expressed in the title of his most celebrated film, ‘Rebel Without a Cause’, in which he starred as troubled teenager Jim Stark. This film was made in the year of his death (1955) and was an American drama about emotionally confused, suburban, middle-class teenagers. Even his early death by a car crash at the age of 24 years, immortalised his screen and personal image as one. Then with the rise of the American Hell’s Angels motorbike chapters, we witnessed the gangs of Teddy Boys, rock and roll music, and the throttle sound of motorbikes, all rolled into one massive symbol of youthful rebellion. The Teddy Boys sported long greasy hair and Presley-type sideburns, and many parents literally believed their gyrating music to represent profanity. Parental adults who had been reared during the war years witnessed their smartly groomed sons discard their traditional dress, and instead, transform their image radically.  

Out went all pretence to be younger versions of their fathers for all sons in the land, and in came the distinctive dress dense of the Mods and their scooters who may have changed their dress sense to that of their fathers, but who still retained the clean-cut look. Then there were the Teddy Boys in their long Edwardian style coats with wide collars, string ties, and drainpipe trousers. This rebellious group walked the pavements three abreast with a blue-suede-shoes swagger that was reminiscent of a tough cowboy from the wild west entering a barroom for a shoot-out. The Teddy Boys would fight the Mods at every opportunity, and when they weren’t fighting them on the dance floor, the streets, or on the sands of Bournemouth Beach, they would bop and gyrate their hips and loins to the frenetic beat of their rock and roll music. This image of their demented young led the adults in society (who had been born at a much earlier era) to think their children were in danger of becoming demented devil’s disciples. 

The parents of my friend’s girlfriend were in this ‘strict’ category and were much harsher with their only child than most parents of the time. They refused to allow their daughter to wear dresses above the knee, despite it being the years of the fashionable mini skirt, and she could not wear lipstick, even though she was 17 years old. She used to apply the lipstick after she left the house and wipe it off before she returned home at the end of the evening. Like many other young women with strict parents, she would also take a shorter-length dress and different shoes in a bag when she left the house for the evening in more sedate attire, which she would change into soon after, and change back out of, before she arrived home at the end of the evening. The parents of my workmate’s girlfriend wanted her to train to become a secretary, but when she took a job in a shoe shop in town instead and started staying out later than they considered reasonable for young women to be out at night, they soon realised that she had become more interested in young men, and so they started to restrict her freedom even more than they had done previously.
One night, she had seemingly missed her 10:00 pm deadline for getting back home. She was dating a Teddy Boy on the quiet and rather than get her into trouble with her father, he took her home on his motorbike. She arrived home around 10:15 pm and her father was waiting to give her ‘what for’ when he saw her from the house window alight from the back of her boyfriend’s motorbike. Her boyfriend had decided to drop her outside the house that night as she was very fearful about being late home. Until that night, neither parent knew that their daughter had a boyfriend and thought that she had gone out with a girlfriend to the pictures. When her father saw her kiss this ‘long-haired lout’ who was sporting a leather jacket and riding around on one of those ‘infernal loud motor-bike death-contraptions’, he went wild. He ran outside with a poker in his hand and started to aim it at the young man on the motorbike, who narrowly missed being hit on the back as he hurriedly raced off into the night.

His daughter was grounded from going out for weeks after, and she was strictly forbidden of ever setting eyes on ‘that greasy, long-haired lout again, or going on the pillion seat of anyone’s motorbike!’ She naturally ignored her father’s wishes and continued courting her Teddy Boy boyfriend. 

Within the year, and when she was just 18 years old the couple eloped to Gretna Green to marry. Parental consent to marry (outside Gretna Green) was needed in England at the time, even by an 18-year-old woman; and it was not until 1961 when the ‘Marriage Act’ in England reduced the age from 21 to 18 years to marry, without parental consent.

My workmate told me that on the occasions that he wanted to change his dating arrangements with his girlfriend during his secret courtship of her (when she was living with her parents), he would leave her a message in the coal bunker of her next-door neighbour, as there were no house phones in those days outside the homes of the wealthy, the aristocrats or the dwellings of important officials. As for mobile phones or computers (as we know them) neither had not been invented. After he had placed his note inside the neighbour’s coal bunker, in order to let his girlfriend know that he had left her a note, he would signal her in her bed. The way he did this was to knock on a tin can at precisely 11:00 pm when he knew that all the house would be in bed. Each night, his girl would never go to sleep before 11:15 pm and would listen out for the distinctive tin-can sound. If there was no tin-can rapping sound heard by her between 11:00 pm and 11:10 pm, and she would go off to sleep. If she heard the tin can sound, however, she would ensure that she was up the next morning before either her parents or the neighbours had risen for the day, to redeem her boyfriend’s love letter. 

Now, most of you young readers might be thinking, “Why not send each other a letter in the post?” Well, let me tell you that such things were not done then! Had they been, one’s parents would have read the letter contents before their child and confiscated it. The bottom line then was, (however mature a young man or young woman was) if they lived at home, they fell in line with the household rules laid down by their parents. The most common parental reply to any young man or woman who rebelled and complained at such restrictive freedom was, “If you don’t like it, you can go live elsewhere, but while ever you are under my roof, you’ll do as I tell you! “ 

When I think back now, it is with little surprise that all young women of my age wanted to live in their own home as soon as they could, and therefore valued the thought of being married and more in control as being one and the same. Unfortunately, marriage in 1960 meant that most young women merely exchanged the person who controlled their lives from their father to their husband! This was one aspect of parental modelling that the new male generation did not wish to discard within the marriage relationship.

While the young couple’s secret code was knocking on a tin can instead of a wooden object, hearing today’s song always reminds me of the eloping couple who went to Gretna Green to marry.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 21st November 2020

21/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Cían Ó Caoinleáin who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland, and Susan Huston who lives in New York, New York, U.S.A. Both Cian and Susan celebrate their birthday today. Thank you for being my Facebook friend and enjoy your special day.

My song today is, ‘All Out of Love’. This a song by the British/Australian soft-rock duo ‘Air Supply’. Written by Graham Russell ND Clive Davis, the song was released as a single in 1980 from their fifth studio album ‘Lost in Love’. The song's lyrics describe the emotional state of a man desperately trying to win back the love of his life after the couple's separation caused by a wrong done by the man against the woman he's in love with. 

In the United States, ‘All Out of Love’ reached Number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100’ chart and it reached Number 5 on the ‘Adult Contemporary Chart’. In the UK, the song reached Number 11 and was their only top 40 hit in the UK. It was placed 92nd in VHI’s list of the ‘100 Greatest Love Songs’ in 2003. 

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When someone is ‘in love’ with another person, their heart remains closed to the advances of another suitor. That is why any person who is in a long-term relationship and has an affair cannot argue to be truly ‘in love’ with the person they cheated on. This excuse of “It was only sex, it meant nothing” cuts no ice with me. While ‘sex’ and ‘love’ can be separate entities, when a person is ‘in love’ they should not desire or have sex with another, for if they do, then they cannot truly be in love with the person they are currently with! 

This is not a moral statement but is purely practical. The other man or woman with whom a married person strays, knows full well what is going on. Should they sense the presence of ‘guilt’ in the other person, after the unfaithful deed has been committed, they often ask, “ If you think what we are doing is wrong, what are you doing here with me?” or “ It’s no good telling me that everything is okay at home if you have to play away in someone else’s house to get what you want!”

There are many feelings which are hard to cope with, and while being dumped is a difficult situation to come to terms with, dumping someone in the haste of the moment, and then realising how much you really loved them afterward and bitterly regretting your foolish action, is a much more difficult one to deal with. It is akin to the situation of a destitute beggar who hasn’t two pennies to rub together. While looking around at the comparative wealth of others to himself, the beggar feels hard done to. And yet, it doesn’t even come close to how badly he would feel if he saw a £50 note on the ground and as he bent down to grab it, he stumbled and fell, and let go of the £50 note. The £50 note was taken airborne by a sudden gust of wind and landed at the feet of a well-heeled gentleman of wealth and property who promptly picked it up and smilingly pocketed it.

They do say that few of us can appreciate what we have until we no longer have it. How true that is! The one good thing to have come out of this current year of Coronavirus has been the realisation of what truly matters to all of us is invariably the things in our daily lives we come to take for granted. It is only when they are taken away from us, their loss seems tenfold. Yet far greater a loss it is when we willingly give them away! Today’s song reminds me of this sentiment.
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Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 20th November 2020

20/11/2020

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Today, I have no Facebook declared Facebook birthdays to share so I have decided to sing my lovely wife, Sheila, a song. The central message of the song says more about my Sheila than my own words ever could convey. Sheila Forde, I love you, lass, and though I sometimes make pretence to the world of being a storyteller, there is no pretence whatsoever when I say that you are ‘The story of my life’, as everything I treasure most in this world ‘starts and ends with you’.

​Your husband, lover, and soul mate Bill xxx

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Song For Today: 19th November 2020

19/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Mary France who lives in Spain, and Tommy Walsh who lives in Perth, Scotland. Enjoy your special day, Mary and Tommy, and thank you for being my Facebook friends.

My song today is ‘Cherish’. This song was written by Terry Kirkman and was released in 1966. The song reached Number 1 on the U.S. ‘Billboard Hot 100’ in September of that year and remained in the top position for three weeks. Billboard ranked the record as the Number 7 song of 1966. The song also reached the Number 1 spot In Canada.

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When this song was first released, I was a 24-year-old man who had returned from Canada, having spent a few years there travelling and shaking the wanderlust off my boots. Having spent the last five years of my teenage years in the romantic mode of ‘loving and leaving them’ I would spend the last five years of my twenties being at last ready to settle down to a steady life of marriage and domesticity.

Before my marriage at the age of 26 years though, I was preoccupied with advancing myself in the only profession and trade I had learned and known to a ‘t’; that of textiles. Being well experienced and wholly acquainted in all processes of textiles since the age of 15 years, I had advance my career from textile labourer, to textile working foreman, to textile salaried foreman, to textile under manager on nights by my 25th birthday. I also had it on the sound understanding that if I did well in my textile position as textile under manager on nights that the mill manager’s post on days could also be mine before my 30th birthday.

When the boat was steering itself nicely through the calm waters, what did I decide to do to cherish and protect my position in textiles which was earning me more than double the national average wage for men? I deliberately capsized it and gave up my enviable well-paid employment and returned to a modest textile position in another mill on days. Why you might ask? The answer was to return to night school to complete the education I had run away from at the age of 15 years.

I had decided to become a History teacher and that required gaining a degree in History through University. University entrance required obtaining the requisite number of GCE qualifications at ‘O-level’ and ‘A-level’ grades, and in order to free me in the evenings to attend night school classes for three years, I needed to work days and be free from 6-00 pm onwards.

As it turned out, after having been accepted into Bath University to read History, one month before I was due to attend, I was accepted for Probation Officer training at Newcastle. I had previously applied to be a Probation Officer but had later learned that I was too young and being unmarried I was not considered as being quite ready. I jumped at the opportunity of being trained to become a Probation Officer, and I kept history as a favourite reading topic of mine thereafter.

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As a young person, I had frequently found myself on the wrong side of the law. Until my 14th year of life, I was ‘light-fingered’ as we say in Yorkshire and would steal anything which wasn’t nailed down.

In my later years, as I was advancing in my textile career, I reminded myself of an unkept promise I had made to my Maker as an 11-year-old boy who was dying with multiple injuries in Batley hospital, having been run over by a wagon. My intensive life-threatening injuries had left me with a damaged spine and I heard the doctors tell my parents from my semi-conscious state at the time that I would be dead by the morning, and if by any miracle I wasn’t, I would never walk again. I asked God to spare my life and pledged that I would devote the remainder of it to doing good deeds. God kept his part of the bargain, and after I eventually recovered, for a long time, I forgot my promise in return.

Then in my 25th year of life, I read the book ‘Les Misérables’ by Victor Hugo, and the main character in it, Jean Valjean, reminded me of an earlier version of my dishonest self who had been given a chance by a very good greengrocer called Mr. Northtrop, whose shop I had stolen from at the age of 15 years. Instead of informing my parents of my theft, Mr. Northrop offered me a Saturday morning job in his greengrocer shop, and he trusted me with access to his shop cash register whenever I served customers.

The parallel, between how the priest in Victor Hugo’s novel gave Jean Valjean a second chance after he had repaid his guest’s generosity by stealing his silverware from him in the dead of night, and how the kindly Mr. Northtrop had given me a second chance also, was too striking a resemblance for me to ignore. Just as Jean Valjean found his redemption through living an honest and honourable life, thereafter, so did I. My redemption was made possible by my vocation as a Probation Officer until I retired, along with any good work I accomplished in that employment by giving less fortunate others the opportunity of a ‘second chance’ also.

Today’s song contains the memorable line, ‘Cherish the love we have. We should cherish the life we live. Cherish the love, cherish the life, cherish the love.” Thanks to that wonderful novel, by Victor Hugo and that wonderful greengrocer called Mr. Northtrop who gave me a ‘second chance’ when I needed it most, I ended up many years later, having started to redeem my promise to my Maker that I made in childhood, and in doing so, I was seated at the right side of the Probation Officer’s desk.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 18th November 2020

18/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to my friend, Julia Tiplady who lives in Leeds, West Yorkshire, and Lorna Gregory who lives in London and works in the Care sector. Both ladies celebrate their birthday today. Enjoy your special day, Julia and Lorna.

My song today is ‘Dreadlock Holiday’. This is a reggae song by 10cc. Written by Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldnman, it was the lead single from the band's 1978 album, ‘Bloody Tourists’. 

The song was based on real events that Eric Stewart experienced in Barbados, but when writing the song, he changed the location to Jamaica. ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ became the group's international Number 1 hit topping the charts in the UK, Belgium, New Zealand, and The Netherlands. The single also reached Number 2 in Ireland and Australia. It also became a top 10 hit in Norway and Switzerland and was in the top 20 in Germany and Sweden. In Austria, the song became 10cc's single entry in the charts peaking at Number 18. In America, ‘Dreadlock Holiday’ became a minor hit and peaked at Number 30 and Number 44 in Canada's RPM, and on the US ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart respectively. 

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Way back in the year 2000, the New Millennium came in with a bang for me. Between 1990-2000, I had written dozens of books which were sold exclusively to West Yorkshire Schools, and I had become a minor celebrity in Yorkshire for my writing, and presumably also for the fact that all the sales profit from my published books had been given to charitable causes, £200,000 (£ two hundred thousand). 

I had been very lucky to have so many famous people and celebrated names from both the national and international fields of public life support my work, (the two most famous names being the late Princess Diana and the former South African President, Nelson Mandela) both of whom phoned me personally to praise my writing. I had also managed to persuade over 800 famous names (national and international) to visit Yorkshire schools to hold reading assemblies based on different children’s books I had written. This magnificent support I received ensured that I experienced an unbroken and enviably ten-year period of press and media coverage in West Yorkshire that no amount of money could ever have bought me. For over ten years, I would appear in between three and six newspapers almost weekly and become a regular interviewee on local television and radio stations.  I stopped taking press cuttings of newspaper photographs, interviews, and mentions of me when they eventually reached two thousand cuttings!

My celebrity readers and supporters came from all walks of life including members of the Royal Family (three princesses and the Queen’s cousin) and the highest echelons of the Church (archbishops and celebrated bishops, and the chief rabbi of Great Britain) and the highest level of Politics (two presidents, two prime ministers and three prime ministers wives, and a few cabinet ministers), and Heads of the Police Force (six different Chief Constables). Apart from national sports captains of rugby and football, I also persuaded national and international film stars, painters, authors, athletes, classical pianists, opera singers, sculptors, scientists, and the first Antarctic explorer to travel to both the north and south poles, plus a female astronaut to read for me in Yorkshire schools. With such an array of talent supporting my works, it would have been virtually impossible for me not to succeed in my aims and objectives, along with maximising my press coverage.

After Nelson Mandela had praised the writing of my African stories, ‘News 24’ publicised the President’s praise, and the Jamaican authorities (who idolised Nelson Mandela) approached me and invited me to help them in a number of respects by working with the educational authority there. My decade’s work culminated in me liaising with the Jamaican ‘Minister for Education and Youth Culture’ in a Trans-Atlantic pen-pal project involving 32 West Yorkshire schools and 32 Jamaican schools in Trelawney, plus the Mayor (known as the Custos) of Falmouth (the old slave-port capital), along with other educational personnel. I co-ordinated this entire project over a three-year period which also incorporated writing four books that were published and sold to raise vital money for the school supplies in Trelawney, Jamaica. These books raised over £30,000, and I was proud to see the Jamaican educational authorities place them on the school curriculum. Overarching this work was our aim to reduce racial discrimination between black and white school pupils in both Yorkshire and Falmouth schools. Two heart attacks during the same week during my 60th year of age obliged me to eventually pass the co-ordination of this work over to others. 

During this three-year period of my close work with Jamaica, I twice visited Jamaica to research and obtain background material for a few books, as well as needing to visit all 32 schools involved in the 64-school trans-Atlantic pen-pal project, and liaise with eminent educational figures. This enabled me to get a brief understanding of the Jamaican culture which I might never have otherwise achieved. This Jamaican contact was initiated and established after my family and I had spent a holiday in Falmouth Jamaica. Having seen the ‘News 24’ bulletin about Nelson Mandela’s praise for my writing, the Catering Manager (Mr. Basil Smith) at the holiday hotel complex we stayed at, approached me and asked me to meet some high-ranking educational officials and the Trelawney Mayor. I returned from that holiday determined to help out the schools in Falmouth, Trelawney and set about writing a number of books for them.

Jamaica is a poor country, and any wealth in previous centuries was made by English and European plantation owners and slave masters. The Jamaican economy exists today upon international monetary grants and is supplemented by tourism. Jamaican crime statistics place the country at the top of the criminal, league, and when I was involved there, it was the murder capital of the world. Ironically, Jamaica has more churches per population than any other country. The most profitable business in Jamaica is the illegal trade of drug selling both in-country and abroad, and unfortunately, the most powerful men in Jamaica are the drug barons who essentially run many parishes and are in constant gun battles with the patrolling police. The drug barons are said to be even influential in government circles.

The most respected job in Jamaica is being a ‘teacher’. Teachers throughout Jamaica are revered by the public for the work they do. If we divide the educational ages of children into 5-12 and 12-15, these two categories reflect the vast chasm that appears once secondary schooling arrives. Education is paid for by the parents, and primary school children are immaculately dressed and give 100 percent attention in the classroom, and total respect their teachers. Once the boys and girls start attending Secondary School, however, everything witnesses a massive change. Realising that there are very few jobs to be had when they leave school, most of the boys gravitate towards drugs and other criminal lifestyles, and too many girls are literally left holding the baby for their children’s absent fathers. The clever girls go on to become teachers, while most of the other girls become employed in the tourist and the catering industry, and cleaning establishments for minimum wages. Almost all young Jamaicans share the same dream and future aspiration; to one day emigrate to either America or England.

All the males hope to someday to be able to get a passport to either America or England as many a female tourist with more money than common sense has found out to her financial and emotional cost! Go to any beach any day of the week and you will be able to observe young attractive muscular Jamaican male beach-hustlers’ approach middle-aged (often divorced) white female tourists who are old enough to be their mothers. Some of the female tourists may be seeking a holiday romance experience, but many more unattached female tourists are just there for the holiday, sun and golden sands, and not the beach pantomime that the hustlers play daily.   

And still, despite having a functioning brain, too many gullible female tourists in the mid-life-crisis bracket manage to get themselves hoodwinked and conned into believing that some gorgeous-looking hunk of a young man (twenty years her junior) has fallen madly in love with her and cannot wait for the day when they can marry, and live together as man and wife in America or England, or whichever country their new, free passport out of Jamaica will take them to!

I am often puzzled by the cruel trick which the Creator seems to have played on the Jamaicans. Most of them are reared in the poorest of circumstances, and yet, God has provided all of them with golden sands, clear blue seas, majestic mountains ranges, marvellous food to eat, and reggae music filling the airwaves all day long.  Their weather is beautiful for almost the full year, yet they are faced with the hurricane season annually that wrecks their bridges, tears up their poorly maintained roads, collapses their roadside stalls where they sell their wares to passers-by, and blows down and destroys the modest shack dwellings that the poorest Jamaicans call home.

But it is their response to annual disruption and disaster that amazes me most of all. They even face daily electricity supply cuts across the land. When all this happens year-after-year, what do they do? Do they give up and die? Do they moan and groan about the disaster that has befallen them again? Do they sink into a deep fit of ‘poor me’ depression? No! No! No! They light up their dark atmospheres in the electricity cuts with thousands of candles and turn their small disaster into a more romantic setting. They pick themselves up off the ground and rebuild, restock, and start all over again, and still wearing a great big smile on their face and a song close to their heart as they do so.

I found Jamaicans to be one of the friendliest people I have known. What little they have, they willingly share with you. They may be viewed by the white European as being too loud in their music, and too vociferous in their expression, and too volatile in their emotions, but as an Irishman and the oldest of seven children from a poor family, I am at home with their culture and emotional ways. 

I recall as a young person growing up in a poor household, that when one of seven children came downstairs the first thing on a morning with a hungry belly, and there is only food enough on the table for four or five children to eat, one soon learns to push oneself to the front or starve in the attempt. The same is true about their force of emotional expression, which no outsiders observing an Irish or Jamaican family gathering can truly understand. Whenever the large Forde family are gathered in one setting, observers would think we are about to come to blows listening to us, whereas we are just having a heated discussion! The bottom line is that while Europeans (with the exception of the hot-blooded Italians) may take all the medals when it comes to ‘politeness and manners’, when it comes to ‘passion’, be it on the dance floor, on any platform, and even in the bedroom, the Jamaicans take first prize every time (with the Irish running a close second).

For me, let me make myself abundantly clear: “I don’t like cricket, I love it. Man! I don’t like reggae, I love it, Man! I don’t like Jamaica, I love her, Man!”

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 17th November 2020

17/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to my nephew, Carl Forde, who is the son of my younger brother, Michael Forde, and his wife Denise. Carl unfortunately incurred a bad traffic accident many years ago and has been wheelchair-bound ever since and has no feelings below the waist. Despite his disability, Carl is as independent as they come and has a positive disposition towards life in general. Everything he applies himself to he does with enthusiasm. Enjoy your special day, Carl. Lots of love from Uncle Billy and Sheila xx

My song today is ‘Move Closer’. This song was by American singer-songwriter Phyllis Nelson, and it topped the charts in the United Kingdom in April 1985. Nelson wrote the ballad in 1984. It was a complete departure from the type of music she had been recording; she had been recording dance and disco records, and decided to write her own record because, in her words, "not much music lets you dance close". The lyrics of ‘Move Closer’ were based on a long-term love affair she had with a much younger man in Philadelphia, who was struggling to start his own computer business.

While ‘Move Closer’ failed to make an impact on the US ‘Billboard Hot 100’, the song was hugely successful in the United Kingdom, where it peaked at the top of the ‘UK Singles Chart’, making her the first black woman to top the charts in Britain with her own sole composition. The song was originally released in April 1984 but failed to chart and was re-released in February 1985 and the song began to climb the charts.  ‘Move Closer’ became Britain's seventh biggest-selling song of the year and the 82nd highest selling-single of the decade. The song was also featured in the British film, ‘The Supergrass’ (1985).

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While there is such a feeling as being ‘too close from comfort’, as a rule, most of us enjoy being close to someone we like, admire, or love. 

For two individuals to fall in love, there has to be an initial attraction that generates in both parties a ‘curiosity factor’ of wanting to find out more about the other person. The attraction can be purely physical, exhilarating and exciting, sexually sensual, mentally stimulating, practically convenient, interesting, or even annoying. It is not uncommon for two people to report ‘not liking each other upon first meeting’ and yet proceed to court each other, marry each other, and become the most loving of life-long-partners. When this occurs, they may consciously recall aspects about their partner on their first date which they did not care for, or even dislike, and this situation is what I call the ‘iceberg phenomenon’. 

What this phenomenon essentially boils down to is this. The sophisticated centre of power lies beneath the surface which the eye cannot see but the body can subconsciously sense. Without knowing why the initial attraction may be telling you that it is the opposing character traits of you and the other person which are drawing you closer to each other, and though there could be an element of truth in that, what is pulling you towards each other with greater force is that seventh sense of the other person’s hidden strengths and vulnerabilities. 

Unknowingly, you can sense more aspects about the character of the other person ‘that appeal to you’ than the fewer number of negative character traits you mentally registered upon forming your first impression. Just like the metaphorical iceberg image, only one-tenth of what truly exists lies above the surface. 
An iceberg which is strategically positioned has the capability of sinking the mightiest of steamships, as the crew and passengers of the ‘RMS Titanic sadly discovered when the great ship collided and sideswiped an iceberg on April 15th, 1912 off the coast of Newfoundland in the North Atlantic during its maiden voyage. Of the 2,240 passengers and crew on board, more than 1,500 lost their lives in that disaster. 

What is not appreciated in the mind of the public, however, is that at the time of the collision, the iceberg (at 32 degrees), was warmer than the water which the Titanic passengers fell into that night. The ocean waters were 28 degrees, a temperature below the freezing point, but which had not frozen because of the water's salt content.

Back to the metaphorical comparison between the Titanic’s collision with the iceberg, and the emotional collision of the two humans who do not initially intend to connect. The person who cannot see the hidden strengths of the other person can nevertheless sense their presence. As they allow themselves to get to know the other person by ‘moving closer’, those parts that they initially felt cool toward begin to gradually reveal themselves as the atmosphere becomes warmer and friendlier. Eventually, after half a dozen dates into the couple’s relationship, their meeting of hearts, minds, and bodies melts any residual resistance. Having cared to dive beneath the superficial surface, the inner depth of the other person can be now seen as being strong, powerful, and resistant when required, but also be recognised as being a person who is not afraid to show their more tender and vulnerable side to their character, after the ice has been broken.

So, if you happen to share a loving relationship today with someone who literally did not make the earth shake for you when you first met, you now know why your heart was prepared to ‘jump ship’ and moved away from your usual type of opposite number that would have physically attracted you initially, but which always turned out to be a ‘heart breaker’ or ‘a wrong un’, or a ‘love rat’, as frequently described by spurned lovers. When you moved away from the heart-breaker type and toward another type who you would normally ever give a second glance, you made yourself emotionally vulnerable and available to collide with a person who was able to offer you far more than you could ever have imagined the first time you bumped into each other. 

Instead of once again falling for a ship sinker (a destroyer of romantic relationships), you found a partner who would row the same boat alongside you forevermore, taking you far away from the previous disastrous situations you had sadly grown accustomed to being a part of. It was only once you had reached the security of clear waters that you were able to look back on your past situations and realise what titanic mistakes you had made in your choice of romantic partners before you managed to find your true love.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 16th November 2020

16/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to four people who celebrate their birthday today. They are (1) Patrick Dunne, who lives in Mokena, Illinois, USA. (2) Joan Greenwood, who lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire. (3) Teresa Walpole, who lives in Geelong, Victoria, Australia, and, (4) My dear friend, Barbara Howcroft, who lives in Guiseley, Leeds, West Yorkshire. Enjoy your birthday Patrick, Joan, Teresa, and Barbara.

My song today is ‘The Older I Get’. This song is the fourth single released by the Christian rock band ‘Skillet’ from their sixth album ‘Comatose’ in 2007.  The song charted at Number 27 on the USK ‘Mainstream Rock Tracks’ and Number 14 on the Billboard ‘US Hot Christian Songs’ chart. 

R&R Magazine counted it as the Number 19 most-played song in 2008 for ‘Christian Contemporary Hit Radio’ (CHR).

Skillet's lead singer and primary songwriter John L. Cooper explained the meaning of the song in the following words: "The song is about my relationship with my Dad and feeling that I had been betrayed by him, and all these bad feelings going on. In the end, it came down to 'forgiveness'. When I forgave my dad, 'real healing' came back into my life and the song ‘The Older I Get’ was about that and saying I wish I could go back and do it all over again. If I could, I would probably make that step earlier towards forgiving him because my life got so much better when I did." 

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This song’s message addresses the time of life as we get older. At this time of our lives there is a greater incentive to regret past wrongs in the autumn of our days, and where possible, to try and make amends, if possible. All families have their ‘falling outs’ and ‘quiet periods’ from time to time. It is part of human nature that occasionally one person’s actions, statements, or professed beliefs will come into pronounced conflict with one or other family members. When this occurs, there is usually a ‘cooling-off’ period between the main protagonists. However, when one person has deeply offended their entire family, the ‘fall out’ effect can remain for a long time. When this occurs, the family rift can cut so deep that a chasm has grown which is difficult, and sometimes impossible to be bridged. Not often, but it does happen! 

When I was a Probation Officer in Huddersfield, I will never forget one man with whom I worked. He was in his early 60s, and he and his twin brother continued to live in their farm-house dwelling after their father had died. There were no other siblings. Both parents were deceased, and the last parent to die was their father ten years earlier. Shortly after their father’s death, both brothers fell out and stopped talking to one another. Their protracted silence was to last over ten years. The brother with whom I worked had been placed on Probation Supervision for cruelty to a dog, with a condition that he also saw a psychiatrist.

The offence was not as cruel as it might appear initially. The working dog, which had faithfully served the old farmer for six years appeared to pine the loss of its master (the twin-brothers’ father) for many months after the passing of the old farmer. Shortly after, their father’s death the twin brothers fell out and stopped talking to each other. Over the following ten years, although the dog still lived on the farm, it was now approaching its 16th year of life and had started to get several ailments in its back and hindquarters. The dog no longer ran and walked painfully slow. Initially, the brother who had been the closest to his father thought that time might improve the walking condition of his father’s dog, but sadly it did not.  

It eventually transpired that the other brother (the one who’d had the closest relationship with their mother) could not bear to be near the farm dog or to see it in pain. Every time he looked into the dog's eyes, he got it into his head that he was looking at his father again, or as he described it to me, ‘that his father was looking back at him from the grave through the eyes of the dog’.  He genuinely felt that his father’s dog had assumed his father’s spirit when the old man died. One day, he could take it no longer, and so he led the dog out to a nearby field where he shot the dog and buried it.

The sentencing magistrates ordered both a ‘Social Enquiry Report’ from the Probation Service (which I prepared), and the court also requested a ‘Psychiatric Report’. The defendant told me during my first interview with him that the dog was in obvious pain, just like his father had been after contracting cancer of the stomach; a condition that eventually killed him. He told me that seeing the dog in obvious pain and distress was no different than seeing his father in pain. Whenever he looked at the dog and saw its pitiful eyes, it was as though the dog was pleading with him to be put out of its misery. He added that his father had wanted to end his life earlier when the pain of his stomach cancer got worse but he knew that if he asked his favourite son, he would refuse, so instead he asked his brother as he lay dying to overdose him. The Probation client knew such an act would have been merciful, he could not bring himself to overdose his father. Consequently, when he saw his father’s dog in pain during the creature’s advancing years, he viewed the shooting of his father’s dog as being no less an act as a ‘mercy killing’; something which any compassionate vet would do. 

When the sentencing magistrate was able to assess the humane aspect of the deed, rather than viewing it as representing inhumane cruelty to a dumb animal, and once the court had also learned of the silence between the twin bothers which had endured without interruption for the previous decade (as detailed in my ‘Social Inquiry Report’ for court), it could see that the brothers might benefit from the assistance of a compulsory mediator; namely myself, as well as the defendant having contact with a psychiatrist who might be able to offer suitable treatment.  

Subsequently, a two-year Probation Order with a one-year condition of Psychiatric Treatment was ordered by the court. The defendant was described as having a ‘personality disorder’ that was treatable. What that meant in layman terms was that the psychiatrist had not the faintest idea what was up with the man but knew that his behaviour of maintaining a ten-year silence with his twin brother was odd enough to capture him under this umbrella ‘catch-all’ phrase of ‘personality disorder’; a condition which could not be medically proven to exist, or even if it did, prove amenable to treatment.

My entire period of supervisory contact was maintained through home visits to the farm at Kirkburton, Huddersfield. There were very few office visits arranged as I also needed to see and speak with my client’s twin brother whenever it was possible to do so and being farmers who worked from dawn to dusk, most of their day was spent working apart somewhere on the farm. I eventually learned that while both brothers had not talked for ten years, the longer their silence went on, the easier they found it to maintain. One twin brother had originally refused to talk to the other brother until he had apologised for whatever perceived wrong he had done, and both brothers being proud, became determined not to be the first one to break the silence.  In fact, it eventually transpired that neither brother could recall what was the precise cause that they had initially rowed and fallen out about! 

Over their decade of continuous silence, they each managed to perform their designated farm tasks, and also avoid each other in different parts of the large farmhouse and its land all day and all night long. They dined at the same kitchen table, but never at the same time, and they avoided using the same washing, bathing, and toilet facilities. They shopped separately, and generally managed to live in the same farmhouse, but always apart. Both brothers were of single status and had never married, nor seemed inclined ever to do so.

It took me about one year, and many failed attempts, before I managed to persuade both brothers to sit down in the same room. For months, the twin brother who was not the Probation client refused to say a word to me, even though he listened (at a distance) to whatever I had to say to him or his brother. Stage two involved his brother (the probation client) talking to me about his brother. As his brother would not speak to me during my earlier farmhouse visits and tell me about himself, I invited the Probation client to tell me about his brother, who was sitting nearby listening. This strategy worked, and whenever the brother did not agree with what was being said about him by the other brother, after a few disagreeable grunts and groans, he too started talking to his brother and about his brother ‘through me’. This involved lots of “Tell my brother that…”  and “That’s a downright lie what he says!” statements back and forth. 

We were about six months down the line, before both brothers who had started talking about each other ‘through me’, eventually started talking to the other brother directly as though I was not present in the room. They spoke about each other in accusatory and uncharitable terms, and it soon became evident that each brother felt they had been loved by only one of their parents, and merely tolerated by the other parent. One brother believed that during his childhood and development that his mother favoured his twin brother, while the other brother (the Probation client) felt that their father favoured the other son. Both brothers had seemingly grown up believing that either mum or dad did not really love them, and would have been happier if only one of the twins had been born.

I eventually concluded (rightly or wrongly) that after the death of each parent, both brothers found the bereavement process difficult to negotiate. The son who was closest to the deceased parent felt they were grieving the loss of their parent alone, while the other brother simply appeared to be getting on with his life as though it had been a stranger who had died instead of their mother or father. I concluded that each brother had been in denial as to the loss of one parent and that the protracted silence between both brothers simply intensified the grieving process of the closest son. I believed that both brothers were in effect still grieving the loss of each parent in their own way. I also hypothesised that my client had undergone some kind of mental /emotional breakdown, and it was during this stage when he started imagining things about the spirit of his father continuing to live in the dog he left behind whenever the dog looked at him with its doleful eyes. After he had shot his father’s dog, his twin brother (the one who had been the closest to his father) indicated that the shooting of the dog was as if his father had died all over again.

And that was why his twin brother reported the killing of the dog to the R.S.P.C.A. behind his brother’s back! After the R.S.P.C.A. had made a farm visit to investigate the cruelty allegation ‘on an anonymous tip-off’, they pressed for the prosecution of the brother who had shot the dog. 

I would like to say that the twin brothers eventually reconciled to become normal loving brothers but cannot. I considered that managing to break their silence represented significant progress, but they still remained too emotionally distanced to ever be close again (that is if they ever were close in the first instant?) I recall hearing about the death of one of them about ten years after my involvement, but which brother, I do not know. Neither do I know if the feuding brothers ever made up their differences, although I suspect that too much bitterness had flowed between them for too many years, and too much water had passed beneath the bridge to forgive and forget. 

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 15th November 2020

15/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Gillian Ford who lives in the seaside resort of Morecambe, Lancashire, England, and who is married to my cousin Alan Ford. It is Gillian’s birthday today. Our second birthday celebrant today is Mary Anderson who lives in Santa Fe Springs, California, USA. We also wish a happy birthday to Phyllis Nichols who lives in Rossville, Georgia, U.S.A. Enjoy your special day, Gillian, Mary, and Phyllis and don’t eat too much cake.

My song today is ‘You’re Looking at Country’. This country music song was written and made famous by Loretta Lynn in 1971. The song peaked at Number 5 on ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs; and reached Number 1 on the Canadian ‘Country Tracks Chart’ on RPM.

In the 1980 motion picture biography of Lynn, ‘Coal Miner’s Daughter’ Sissy Spacek (who plays Loretta) sings "You're Lookin' At Country" during a concert twice in the film. Spacek sang Lynn's hits herself and later won her an ‘Academy Award’ for doing so. Decca Records released Lynn's song in May 1971. "You're Lookin' at Country" peaked at Number 5 on Billboard’s ‘Hot Country Singles’ chart in mid-1971, and an album of the same name was released.

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Between 1963-65, I lived in Canada, and whenever I was able to, I would travel to one of the US states. For around three months I worked on the ‘Canadian Pacific Railways’ as a restaurant server on the 3-day each-way long-distance runs. The wage was poor, but it paid for my weekly flat accommodation and I also got to see lots of wide-open countrysides free of charge while I worked. We would have a night stopover on all of the long runs, that could be anywhere between two and six days on return journeys.

Let me just say, that in my modest experience from the few brief romantic associations I had with cowgirls that it mattered not how pretty they were, or how rich for that matter, they were not women to be messed with (that is unless they were into a bit of rough and tumble). Most of them wore jeans unless they were prettied up for a dance, and the only way one got any close-up look at the legs that filled their Denim was if she came on to you; otherwise, you stayed on your own private territory and did not stray beyond any areas she placed off-limits.

For nine months of my time in Canada, I worked the night shifts as a receptionist at an upmarket hotel. I had the financial security of a sizable amount of compensation that I had come into at the age of 11 years following a serious traffic accident, but which I could not access until I reached the age of 21 years. My monthly wage paid my accommodation costs and work expenses and left me a bit of spending money over. During my Canadian residence, I used the compensation money as a financial safety cushion, as well as paying for my travelling cost. Whenever it could be arranged, I would take a long weekend (usually a four-day long spell) and travel. My whole aim of going to Canada was to be able to travel extensively and see and experience as much as I could as a single man before I returned to England after I had shaken the wander lust off my boots. Only then, was this young man prepared to settle down into a life of domesticity and consider marriage and parenthood. I considered thirty to be an ideal marrying age. Until then, life was for the living of it as far as I was concerned, and I was determined to live it to the full.

One woman (about six years older than me) who passed through our hotel lived at Longview in the Province of Alberta. Alberta is geographically sandwiched in between the provinces of Saskatchewan and British Columbia, with the North West Territories to its north. It is the fourth largest province in Canada, and having lived and worked in two of the other three largest provinces (Quebec and Ontario), I was naturally interested to visit this area. The other of the ‘large four provinces’ was Alberta’s neighbouring province of British Columbia.

The upshot was that while my lady friend resided at the hotel, we enjoyed a bit of a fling. She was the daughter of a rancher and although she wore ladylike clothes of high fashion whenever we went anywhere in Toronto, at home she was a typical cowgirl who was never out of denim and wore a Stetson and spurs. I never did get around to looking her up on my trip to Alberta as I got distracted on the way. I had travelled to Alberta previously when I worked on the ‘Canadian Pacific Railway’ (on the long runs) but had not been able to attend the famous ‘Calgary Rodeo’ at the time. On this occasion, I decided to phone in work, play a ‘sick card; and turn my 4-day absence from work into 6 days plus a Saturday and Sunday (making 8 days in total). This enabled me to attend the ‘Calgary Stampede Rodeo’. I stayed in Calgary overnight and all the taverns were filled to the brim with rodeo riders and visitors, all dressed up in their cowboy and cowgirl gear. I felt distinctly out of dress-code for the occasion and stuck out like a sore thumb.

Being a ‘limey’ (an American slang name for a British person), and with attractive features, I was always popular with the Canadian women, but in truth, I was very wary of which cowgirl I spoke with that night as I did not fancy tangling with any six-foot jealous cowboy manfriend who may have been stood at the bar ordering another jug of ale whilst keeping his eye on any man his woman talked to during his absence.

I was never quite able to conclude which of the terrible three was the most dangerous to tangle with, and which was the greatest ball-breaker? I would describe the Calgary cowgirls as being ‘ sexy and tough’, the Calgary cowboys as being ‘rough and tough’, and the steers they rode and corralled as just being ‘too horny and mean’ to let anyone ride them against their will when they had no desire to be ridden. In fact, come to think of it, the cowgirls and the steers could have shared the same description as each other!

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 14 November 2020

14/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to Dereck Laffan who lives in Waterford, Ireland. It is Derek’s birthday today and we wish him the kindest and most special of days. Thank you, Derek, for being my Facebook friend.

My song today is ‘Truly’. This song is the title of the debut solo single by singer-songwriter Lionel Richie. Richie wrote the song and co-produced it with James Anthony Carmichael. Released after he left the Commodores, ‘Truly’ debuted on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ on 9 October 1982 and climbed to Number 1 on 27 November 1982. It also spent four weeks at Number 1 on the ‘Adult Contemporary Chart’ and logged nine weeks at Number 2 on the ‘R&B’ chart. In addition, ‘Truly’ made the Top 10 in the United Kingdom, where the song peaked at Number 6. The song won a ‘Grammy Award’ for Richie in the ‘Best Male Pop Vocal Performance’ category.

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The truest thing a person can ever be in this life is themselves. Shakespeare knew this when he placed the words in the mouth of his character Polonius when giving advice to his son Laertes on how to behave whilst at university: “ This above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” Hamlet: Act 1: Scene 3: William Shakespeare Play.

Ask all the people in the next queue you pass, “What would you wish for if I could grant you one wish only?” and incorporated somewhere within all of their individual answers would be ‘happiness’. Unfortunately, we have been born into a materialistic society in the West, and we associate impoverishment with a lack of money. When anyone attaches themselves to money, position, property, or power, they can never be ‘truly’ happy.

If there is one good thing to come out of this tragic pandemic Covid-19 crisis we have spent the past eight months living through, it is the knowledge of what really matters in our lives does not cost us one penny. Hopefully, we have all come to understand the crucial importance of the freedoms we once took for granted like having visitors in our homes and visiting the homes of others.

Never again will any of us take for granted the welcome invitation of a simple handshake, and the closeness that a kiss and a hug symbolises to our friends and family. Never again shall we take for granted our restrictive attendance at those important functions in life we share with friends and family like the birth of our children, Christenings, First Communions, Confirmation, sport school days, Nativity plays, weddings, birthday and social gatherings, hospital visits, care home visits of our elderly. 

​Who among us could ever have imagined it being a precious freedom just to be able to say a final ’Goodbye’ by holding the hand of our loved ones on their death bed, and watching their coffin descend below the cemetery ground. Never again shall we regard going out to a dance, for a meal, or calling into the local pub as being ’just another social event in my calendar of engagements. We will be able to mingle, chat, and gossip in groups of more than six, if we chose. Gone from our language will be that common phrase, “I am ‘just’ going out for a walk, dear”, especially those of us whose vulnerable health condition has kept us inside the house.

We will come to cherish the experience of being able to safely mix and mingle in larger crowds to commemorate special occasions, watch football from the stands, attend the cenotaph in reverence on Armistice Sunday to pay our respect to our fallen heroes of previous wars, walk in the woods and across the moorlands, and breathe in the pure fresh air instead of the Coronavirus! Perhaps we will all emerge better people from these restrictive times we have been obliged to live through and ‘truly’ come to appreciate what really matters to us in our daily lives.

Finally, I will end today’s post with one of my mother’s beliefs that she never abandoned. I always knew that she loved me because she told me so every day of my life, and she never stopped reminding me or believing in me. She taught me that when you stop following your dreams, you stop living in hope of a better and happier tomorrow ever dawning. “To live your life fully, Billy” my mum used to tell me, ‘you need to be glad to be alive and to always give thanks to God for your journey through each day”.

I have heard many people in my lifetime pose the question as to whether such a thing as ‘love’ truly exists, or ask if is it a construct of our imaginations to justify and rationalise the human experience of being closely bonded with another. I know that ‘love’ truly exists because I believe that not one of us would have ever existed without its presence in heaven above or on the earth beneath the sky. I believe that none of us would ever have been born, and the world as we know it would never have existed had the love of God not created it and made human birth and all earth-life possible. All my childhood, I lived in the constant presence and reach of ‘love’. All I needed to do to touch love was to grab hold of my mother's apron strings. All I need to do today to touch love is to reach out, as it surrounds me wherever I am and is within every wholesome person I meet. Mum died many years ago but what she taught me was that love never dies and that it thrives and multiplies in all like-minded people with open hearts.

My mother was ‘truly’ my first embodiment of unqualified ‘love’. She taught me that ‘love’, will always remain little more than a word until someone significant comes into our life and gives it meaning and purpose for its wonderful existence’. My mother was my first embodiment of love and my wife, Sheila, shall remain my lasting embodiment of this most powerful emotion of all.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 13th November 2020

13/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to my grandson, Sam Forde who is the son of my son, James Forde, and his wife, Elisa Forde, and the brother of Jessica Forde. The family lives on the border between France and Switzerland, and it is Sam’s 16th birthday today. Enjoy your special day today, Sam. Love Granddad Forde and Sheila xx

I also dedicate today’s song to my great-nephew, Kelvyn Forde, who lives in Batley with his father Michael and mother, Amanda. Kelvyn is the grandson of my brother Michael Forde and his wife Denise Forde. It is Kelvyn’s birthday today. Enjoy your special day, Kelvyn. Love Great Uncle Billy and Sheila xx

The third and fourth birthday celebrants today are Linda Walsh who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland, and Susan Norris who lives in London, England. Enjoy your special day, ladies, and thank you for being my Facebook friends.

My song today is ‘Amarillo By Morning’. This country and western song was written by Terry Stafford and Paul Fraser. It was recorded by Stafford in 1973. Several cover versions have since been made, including a major 1983 hit for George Strait and Chris LeDoux in 1975. Members of the ‘Western Writers of America’ chose it as one of the Top 100 Western songs of all time. The single by George Strait entered the ‘Billboard Country Chart’ on February 12, 1983, and peaked at Number 4. 

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Today’s song is about a man going to the Amarillo rodeo.

Amarillo is in Texas and is the seat of Potter County. It is the largest city in the Texas Panhandle, and a portion of the city extends into Randall County. With an estimated population of 199,371 as of 2019, the metro population is projected to surpass 310,000 in 2020. 

Amarillo was originally named Oneida and is situated in the Lliano Estacado region. The availability of the railroad and freight service provided by the ‘Fort Worth and Denver City Railroad’ contributed to the city's growth as a cattle-marketing centre in the late 19th century. The city is also known as ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas’, as the city takes its name from the Spanish word for yellow. Given its long association with the cattle and the horse market, the city is well known for its rodeo shows.

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 12th November 2020

12/11/2020

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I dedicate my song today to my great-nephew, Jack Forde (grandson of my brother Michael and his wife Denise) and son of my nephew, Michael Forde, and Amanda Forde. I also dedicate today’s song to my nephew, Gary Knapton (son of my sister Mary), and finally to our good friend and close neighbour, Andrea Leathley. All three, Jack, Gary, and Andrea celebrate their birthday today. We wish them all a happy birthday on their special day.

My song today is “I’m Not in Love”. This is a song by English group ‘10cc’ and was written by band members Eric Stewart and Graham Gouldman. It is known for its innovative and distinctive backing track, composed mostly of the band's multitracked vocals. Released in the UK in May 1975 as the second single from the band's third album, ‘The Original Soundtrack’  it became the second of the group's three number-one singles in the UK between 1973 and 1978, topping the ‘UK Singles Chart’ for two weeks. The song was also the band's breakthrough hit worldwide, reaching Number 1 in Ireland and Canada and Number 2 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ in the US, as well as reaching the top 10 in Australia, New Zealand, and several European countries.

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This song very much reminds me of my romantic late teens. Being a hopeless ‘romantic’ I loved the experience of ‘falling in love’ but did not want the responsibility of ‘being in love’. I wanted to travel and live in Canada at the age of 21 years, and because, I had been awarded a sizable compensation amount from a traffic accident in my childhood that would become due at my age of maturity (21-year-old) such travel plans became financially possible. I had no intention of getting married before my late twenties and throwing a spanner in the works of my planned adventures abroad.

My answer was for me to continue to ‘fall in love’ with beautiful young women as often as I could, as long as I did not stay ‘fallen’, and allowed myself to ‘fall out of love’ so that I could ‘fall back in love’ again! Consequently, I never dated any young woman for more than one month and ended that brief courtship before either of us got emotionally committed to the relationship.

‘Being in love’ first came my way during my 22nd/23rd year of life in Canada, but even then, I avoided the ultimate commitment and returned to England, where I found myself ‘being caught on the emotional rebound’, and committing myself to a less deserving and less compatible person than the one I had left behind in Toronto, Canada. I would be 40 years old before I found genuine love again, and for the following twenty-five years I remained in love. 

I would be 68 years old before I found the ‘love of my life’ in Haworth, and two years later, Sheila and I married on my 70th birthday in November 2012. Sheila was a widow and is 14 years my junior. She and is beautiful inside and out, and despite me being diagnosed with a terminal blood cancer only three months after our wedding, and having had an extensive number of cancer operations and procedures since, even with three different body cancers inside me, and awaiting another biopsy result, I have never felt happier in my life or as loved. Never again will I be able to say, ‘I’m not in love’.  

Love and peace Bill xxx
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Song For Today: 11th November 2020

11/11/2020

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November 11th, 2020. 
I dedicate my song today to three people who celebrate their birthday today, plus the heavenly birthday of my nephew, Jamie Brown.  

The three earth birthday celebrants are (1) Margaret Lansdell who lives in Manilva, Spain. (2) Jacqui Grinsell who lives in Grangemockler, Tipperary, Ireland (3) Kieran Meagher who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland.  Enjoy your special day, Margaret, Jacqui, and Kieran. 

My thoughts today are especially with the heavenly repose of my nephew, Jamie Brown, who died in 2004 at the early age of 26 years.  Today would have been Jamie’s birthday. Jamie left behind his father, Alan, his mother Susan, brother Lee, and sister Evie. Today, we give thought to all the Brown and Forde family who mourn Jamie’s early departure from this life. My deepest thoughts naturally go to my youngest sibling, my sister Susan (Jamie’s mother). It was never meant that a child should ever die before their parents. A mother’s love cannot be measured in days, weeks, months, and years; it is eternal. And there is no greater loss than the pain felt by a mother whose child dies before his time. Rest in peace, Jamie, and a happy heavenly birthday from all your family who loved you.  

My song today is ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply. This song was recorded by Australian pop duo ‘Savage Garden’. It won the 1997 ‘ARIA Music Award’ for ‘Single of the Year’ and ‘Highest Selling Single’ and was nominated for ‘Song of the Year’. Written by bandmates Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones, the song is a reworking of a song called ‘Magical Kisses’ that the pair wrote together during the recording of their debut album.  The song reached number one in Australia, Canada, and the United States. In November 2019, the song was added to the ‘National Film and Sound Archive’ selection of recordings. The songs added to the list provide a snapshot of Australian life and have "cultural, historical and aesthetic significance and relevance". 

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To be truly, madly, and deeply in love with anyone is to be connected to them in thought and feeling wherever they are. There is no greater feeling in this world than to be physically, mentally, and spiritually in tune with your lover, your spouse, and soul mate, or indeed your parents or your child. There are no words in the dictionary to describe just how much you love them; no matter what you say, you still finish up loving them more than that. It may sound trite to hear a 78-year-old man say that at the first and last moment of my day, I think about my wife, Sheila, and how much I love her, but it is true. As soon as I switch on this old brain of mine, my mind starts to wander, and I immediately think “What’s Sheila doing?” I know she is not perfect (nobody is), and can be a handful on occasions, but surely that is why God gave me two hands? And, so it is with my children, as I wonder how each of them is faring throughout the day. Whatever their circumstances happen to be at this moment, I cannot prevent my thoughts from thinking about them. I cannot stop being extremely proud of all of them, or always worrying about the difficulties that one or the other of them might be presently experiencing. Similarly, with my six brothers and sisters, my family is, and always has been my main orbit of concern. They are my world!

As all relationships grow and thrive on the trust and honesty of the two people in it, it is vital that truth never gives way to the convenient telling of lies, whether great or small. Both trust and honesty go hand in hand, and as like the happiest of couples, one cannot exist without the other. It is their unification that gives meaning to the relationship’s purpose and value. As many a person in a failed relationship has discovered to their sad cost, the truth does not cost anything, whereas a lie can cost everything!

All people who love truly, madly, and deeply will hold a little bit of jealousy in their heart occasionally, and simply being confident enough in your relationship to truly express one’s fears or doubts to your partner will prove sufficient to clear things up and alleviate any unnecessary worry one may have had. Where love exists, so can jealousy. It is often an additional condiment in any romantic relationship, and like salt is to food, a little can enhance the savour, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening. If the relationship is to survive long-term, it needs to provide a sense of emotional and practical security for each partner in it. While interests need not necessarily be mutual, equal status and long-term aims and direction for the future partnership must remain a vital part of the couple’s shared blueprint. When this is not so, and a power imbalance is evident, the continued relationship, however loving and positive has hit a downward slope which heralds ‘collision ahead’.

Interests within solid relationships need to be both shared and individual, but however much a couple love each other, it is unhealthy to completely wrap oneself up in each other, and it is unwise to consciously come to totally depend upon each other. For when that day comes when one of you will remain to grieve the loss of the other, the dependant survivor will discover that while they were able to take on the world as a team, and beat them hands down, now they are on their own, they find it impossible to break open an egg without scrambling the contents. They are more likely to feel that they cannot survive in the world without their lost partner and soul mate. Indeed, many bereaved spouses symbolically ‘wear black’ for the rest of their days. Having spent the better part of their happy marriage telling each other daily that ‘they could never live without the other’, they naturally come to believe this, and when it happens, and the day arrives when they have to live alone without their lifelong partner (now deceased), their mind follows the ‘irrational belief’ they have held for almost a lifetime, and the brain instructs the bereaved body to feel ill, depressed, and die if needs be!

We can all live without anyone else in the world when needs must! We may not want it, we may not like it, we may hate the very thought of it, it may wound us deeply, even savagely, we may cry endlessly, we may hurt forever with the depth of our loss and the huge emotional hole left in our hearts. We may experience all the above reactions from our body, and tell ourselves “I cannot stand another minute without him/her”, but while all the above is undoubtedly happening to our mind and body, the one thing we are indisputably doing is ‘standing it’; not wanting it, or liking it, but ‘standing it!’

I have always believed that in each happy union between two people, that although ‘love’ provides a solid bedrock that is strong enough to fundamentally withstand any experience heaped upon it, that it is trust and honest communication, independence and interdependence, a capacity to forgive and forget, and a willingness to always try to understand which constitute the four cornerstones upon which all sound marriages and loving family homes are subsequently built.
And when that painful day arrives that we lose our loved one to the other side of the green sod, and we wonder ‘Where are you, now?’, we will know ‘truly, madly and deeply’ that they are where they should be, where they have always been; with you!

Love and peace Bill xxx

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Song For Today: 10th November 2020

10/11/2020

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Today is my 78th birthday and the 8th wedding anniversary of the marriage between myself and my lovely wife, Sheila. I dedicate my song today to my dearest companion, the love of my life and my eternal soulmate. There is so much I have already said about what Sheila means to me, that my words could never prove enough to illustrate her true character. I just know that when I am with her, I have no thought of ever being anywhere else. Sheila possesses a tenderness so rare, that it soothes and instantly absorbs all hurt. She is the perfect illustration of what an individual can do if ‘they try a little tenderness’. I love you, Sheila Forde xxxxxxxx

There are also four Facebook friends who celebrate their birthday alongside mine today. They are  (1) Geraldine O Neill, and (2) Margaret Kelly, both of whom lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. (3) Paul McGrath who lives in Waterford, Ireland. (4) Liz Venables who lives in Johnson, Pembrokeshire. Enjoy your special day, Geraldine, Margaret, Paul, and Liz, and thank you for being my Facebook friends.

My song today is from the film ‘The Commitments'; a 1994 musical comedy-drama based on the 1987 novel of the same name by Roddy Doyle. The hit song to come out of the movie was 'Try a little Tenderness'.

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In today's hard life, 'tenderness' has become a much under-rated quality, but it nevertheless remains the manifestation of personal strength, the finest endeavour and most sympathetic of resolutions. 'Tenderness' is the quickest and most certain of roads for one human winning over the heart of another. When one expresses 'tenderness', one conquers by loving, understanding, caring and forgiveness. The very first act of ‘tenderness’ I can recall receiving was in the loving arms and reassuring embrace of my mother. 

There is no soother balm than the tender touch of another, be they your mother, brother, sister, lover, wife, or friend. Expressing 'tenderness’ involves an automatic acceptance of the person and their situation, and if needed, the presence of forgiveness is always in the background of any possible offence given or taken. Once we can accept the other person for who they are (not necessarily for what they have done), as well as forgive their failings, a remarkable transformation in the relationship bond occurs. 

‘Tenderness’ and ‘love’ arise spontaneously as natural bedfellows and they share a pillow of peace in each other’s heart. To 'try a little tenderness' is to acknowledge that nothing is too small to care about in the feelings department of the human wardrobe and no obstacle is too large to surmount. People who mean the most to us are not necessarily those who give advice, provide solutions or administer cures for our ailments, but are instead those who choose to share our pain, marry our worried minds with mutual understanding and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand that communicates to us the unmistakable message of ‘I care for you’. If we are lucky to find our soul mate and the person we are fated to spend the rest of our life with, we will also discover that all our 'saved up wishes' will have finally found their natural home in the heart of another in which our most precious of dreams can come true. 

Your future happiness is out there somewhere in the heart of someone who is waiting for you, but you shall only find it when you look in the right places. Look not for tenderness or touch of affection on dating sites such as 'Tinder' or seek that catch you have long sought to hook on to on dating sites such as 'Plenty of Fish'. Your soul mate is out there waiting for you, and you are more likely to recognise them if you know where to look for them and how to recognise them when they stand before you. It helps if you look for the characteristics of the man or woman who is right for you, rather than to scan the faces of those who instantly attract your gaze and physical impulse. Search them out by their behaviour and deeds. Know them not by their shape, size and look, or any other physical attribute they may display on the surface. Instead, look inwardly for the soulmate of your dreams. 

In many ways, finding the right soulmate is done easier by a blind person as opposed to a sighted individual. While our eyes are marvellous organs of visual appearance, they have not x-ray ability to discern the inner workings of another’s heart, or see the content of another’s mind, or understand the intent of the actions and true feelings of another toward you. It is only when the other person’s feelings touch your sensibilities and instinctively invite you to move closer to them that you will know you are in the presence of someone special and that your search is at an end. It is this feeling that will tell you that you are within striking distance of your goal of finding a suitable partner and lifelong soul mate. Do not worry that you will miss the vital signs that you are close to your soul mate as you won’t. Once your body is within striking distance to theirs, you will be naturally attracted and drawn toward each other with the force of a love magnet beyond your imagination, and once you have touched each other for the first time, it will take a team of wild horses to pull you apart!  

One’s eyes are often deceived, whereas one’s feelings are rarely wrong. So, allow your heart to map out all places where your eyes should look; all those places where human pockets of truth, honesty, faithfulness, sensitivity, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness and wholesome goodness naturally reside; for it is there that you are most likely to find these inextricable strands of good character wrapped up in a huge ball of lasting love and human tenderness. 

Love and peace Bill xxx
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BILL AND SHEILA'S WEDDING ANNIVERSARY AND 78TH BIRTHDAY

10/11/2020

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​Sheila and I thank all of you for your greetings for my birthday and our 8th wedding anniversary. Your greetings have literally overwhelmed and humbled me. I have just rested my fingers, having individually replied to over 600 people over the past four hours on my Facebook page responses and private messages, and there are at least 200 greetings on my Irish facebook site contacts and friends I still need to reply to.

It is apparent that I cannot keep up with all the love you are showing myself and Sheila today, so if I cannot respond individually to you, please forgive me. If in the event that any of you reply to this message, I will read it, but will not reply, otherwise my wedding anniversary and birthday will be over before Sheila and I have an hour together.Thank you all once again for making this day a special day for me and Sheila.

And to give my sweetheart at the end of our special day one more thought, it is this: In 2010, Sheila 'when you proposed to me' and I said 'Yes, please', if we were to retrace our footsteps and you asked me to marry you again, do you know what, Sweetheart? I'd do it all over again!

​Love and peace Bill and Sheila xxx
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