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My Books
- Book List & Themes
- Strictly for Adults Novels >
-
Tales from Portlaw
>
- No Need to Look for Love
- 'The Love Quartet' >
-
The Priest's Calling Card
>
- Chapter One - The Irish Custom
- Chapter Two - Patrick Duffy's Family Background
- Chapter Three - Patrick Duffy Junior's Vocation to Priesthood
- Chapter Four - The first years of the priesthood
- Chapter Five - Father Patrick Duffy in Seattle
- Chapter Six - Father Patrick Duffy, Portlaw Priest
- Chapter Seven - Patrick Duffy Priest Power
- Chapter Eight - Patrick Duffy Groundless Gossip
- Chapter Nine - Monsignor Duffy of Portlaw
- Chapter Ten - The Portlaw Inheritance of Patrick Duffy
- Bigger and Better >
- The Oldest Woman in the World >
-
Sean and Sarah
>
- Chapter 1 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
- Chapter 2 - 'The early years of sweet innocence in Portlaw'
- Chapter 3 - 'The Separation'
- Chapter 4 - 'Separation and Betrayal'
- Chapter 5 - 'Portlaw to Manchester'
- Chapter 6 - 'Salford Choices'
- Chapter 7 - 'Life inside Prison'
- Chapter 8 - 'The Aylesbury Pilgrimage'
- Chapter 9 - Sean's interest in stone masonary'
- Chapter 10 - 'Sean's and Tony's Partnership'
- Chapter 11 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
- The Alternative Christmas Party >
-
The Life of Liam Lafferty
>
- Chapter One: ' Liam Lafferty is born'
- Chapter Two : 'The Baptism of Liam Lafferty'
- Chapter Three: 'The early years of Liam Lafferty'
- Chapter Four : Early Manhood
- Chapter Five : Ned's Secret Past
- Chapter Six : Courtship and Marriage
- Chapter Seven : Liam and Trish marry
- Chapter Eight : Farley meets Ned
- Chapter Nine : 'Ned comes clean to Farley'
- Chapter Ten : Tragedy hits the family
- Chapter Eleven : The future is brighter
-
The life and times of Joe Walsh
>
- Chapter One : 'The marriage of Margaret Mawd and Thomas Walsh’
- Chapter Two 'The birth of Joe Walsh'
- Chapter Three 'Marriage breakup and betrayal'
- Chapter Four: ' The Walsh family breakup'
- Chapter Five : ' Liverpool Lodgings'
- Chapter Six: ' Settled times are established and tested'
- Chapter Seven : 'Haworth is heaven is a place on earth'
- Chapter Eight: 'Coming out'
- Chapter Nine: Portlaw revenge
- Chapter Ten: ' The murder trial of Paddy Groggy'
- Chapter Eleven: 'New beginnings'
-
The Woman Who Hated Christmas
>
- Chapter One: 'The Christmas Enigma'
- Chapter Two: ' The Breakup of Beth's Family''
- Chapter Three: From Teenager to Adulthood.'
- Chapter Four: 'The Mills of West Yorkshire.'
- Chapter Five: 'Harrison Garner Showdown.'
- Chapter Six : 'The Christmas Dance'
- Chapter Seven : 'The ballot for Shop Steward.'
- Chapter Eight: ' Leaving the Mill'
- Chapter Ten: ' Beth buries her Ghosts'
- Chapter Eleven: Beth and Dermot start off married life in Galway.
- Chapter Twelve: The Twin Tragedy of Christmas, 1992.'
- Chapter Thirteen: 'The Christmas star returns'
- Chapter Fourteen: ' Beth's future in Portlaw'
-
The Last Dance
>
- Chapter One - ‘Nancy Swales becomes the Widow Swales’
- Chapter Two ‘The secret night life of Widow Swales’
- Chapter Three ‘Meeting Richard again’
- Chapter Four ‘Clancy’s Ballroom: March 1961’
- Chapter Five ‘The All Ireland Dancing Rounds’
- Chapter Six ‘James Mountford’
- Chapter Seven ‘The All Ireland Ballroom Latin American Dance Final.’
- Chapter Eight ‘The Final Arrives’
- Chapter Nine: 'Beth in Manchester.'
- 'Two Sisters' >
- Fourteen Days >
-
‘The Postman Always Knocks Twice’
>
- Author's Foreword
- Contents
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- Chapter Twenty-One
- Chapter Twenty-Two
-
Celebrity Contacts
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Thoughts and Musings
- Bereavement >
- Nature >
-
Bill's Personal Development
>
- What I'd like to be remembered for
- Second Chances
- Roots
- Holidays of Old
- Memorable Moments of Mine
- Cleckheaton Consecration
- Canadian Loves
- Mum's Wisdom
- 'Early life at my Grandparents'
- Family Holidays
- 'Mother /Child Bond'
- Childhood Pain
- The Death of Lady
- 'Soldiering On'
- 'Romantic Holidays'
- 'On the roof'
- Always wear clean shoes
- 'Family Tree'
- The importance of poise
- 'Growing up with grandparents'
- Love & Romance >
- Christian Thoughts, Acts and Words >
- My Wedding
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Chapter Five
'A time to remember, a time to forget?'
By the time that November, 2012 came around, Magnus was firmly established with a foot in both camps, so to speak. As the Secretary to 'St.Michael's Catholic Church' and the Secretary to 'The Portlaw Rugby Club', he quickly got used to sending secretarial letters to himself in one capacity and replying to them in another!
Portlaw had now become the home to two Rugby Clubs and Father Frank Rossy hoped that before the next season had been and gone, he might be able to get them to play against each other in a friendly match. The parish priest had a secret strategy that he harboured; one that he dare not voice to any other, including his bishop in Waterford.
First he would get the two opposing rugby teams to play against each other in healthy competition, then, when neither team least expected it, he would seek to merge the players of both teams into one Portlaw team. It was only after this merger had been successfully achieved and he had won the boots of the non-believers that Father Rossy would plan to win over their souls in a mass conversion away from paganism, hedonism and atheism towards that of Roman Catholicism! He saw himself in the model of Saint Patrick bringing 100% Christianity back to Portlaw.
Portlaw had now become the home to two Rugby Clubs and Father Frank Rossy hoped that before the next season had been and gone, he might be able to get them to play against each other in a friendly match. The parish priest had a secret strategy that he harboured; one that he dare not voice to any other, including his bishop in Waterford.
First he would get the two opposing rugby teams to play against each other in healthy competition, then, when neither team least expected it, he would seek to merge the players of both teams into one Portlaw team. It was only after this merger had been successfully achieved and he had won the boots of the non-believers that Father Rossy would plan to win over their souls in a mass conversion away from paganism, hedonism and atheism towards that of Roman Catholicism! He saw himself in the model of Saint Patrick bringing 100% Christianity back to Portlaw.
It was during early October when Magnus experienced the initial signs of a change in his personality. He first noticed them as he and Elizabeth took one of their walks up Curraghmore to capture the beauty of the autumn morn. He turned to talk to his wife and for about three minutes, he just could not recall her name. The signs seemed small and were almost imperceptible at first, but as the weeks went on, he started to worry more about these strange bouts of memory loss and sought out a medical consultation in County Waterford. He didn't bother telling his wife at this juncture as he didn't want to worry her unnecessarily in her pregnant condition.
As Magnus waited for the results of some tests, he tried to assess the conversation from afar between his consultant and two understudy colleagues, in order to see if the looks upon their faces gave anything away as they conferred and consulted about his precise condition. The Consultant approached Magnus on his own and had a much graver look across his face than he did a few minutes earlier.
"I'm afraid it's as I feared, Mr Ferguson," the Consultant told him. "It is most certainly the onset of Alzheimer's. This means that the structure and chemistry of your brain will unfortunately become increasingly damaged over time and will result in the gradual decline of your ability to remember, understand, communicate and reason. Fortunately, you are still in the early stages of the illness, but it will progressively worsen and I'm afraid to say that there is no cure."
Magnus left the consultation slightly shaken and determined that he would tell his wife Elizabeth the bad news after the Christmas period had passed and she'd safely given birth to their child, but under no circumstances would he worry her before the imminent birth. He was told that the immediate consequences of his condition was a marked proneness to 'forget', a symptom which could initially be combatted partly by certain brain exercises, but which would inevitably and progressively worsen until he would be wholly unable to remember again!
"I'm afraid it's as I feared, Mr Ferguson," the Consultant told him. "It is most certainly the onset of Alzheimer's. This means that the structure and chemistry of your brain will unfortunately become increasingly damaged over time and will result in the gradual decline of your ability to remember, understand, communicate and reason. Fortunately, you are still in the early stages of the illness, but it will progressively worsen and I'm afraid to say that there is no cure."
Magnus left the consultation slightly shaken and determined that he would tell his wife Elizabeth the bad news after the Christmas period had passed and she'd safely given birth to their child, but under no circumstances would he worry her before the imminent birth. He was told that the immediate consequences of his condition was a marked proneness to 'forget', a symptom which could initially be combatted partly by certain brain exercises, but which would inevitably and progressively worsen until he would be wholly unable to remember again!
Magnus struggled in performing his secretarial duties over the run up to December and there were a number of times when his memory failed him and led to some minor misunderstanding. One of the female psychologists at the hospital advised him to use a rubber band around his wrist that he might snap from time to time to help remember something important. Not wishing to end his secretarial duties with both the church and the rugby club on a bad note, Magnus decided that he would get through the year 2012 and then resign from all his positions immediately after the Christmas celebrations had taken place and long before his condition worsened. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that the mere intention to resign after Christmas brought him immense and immediate relief.
By November, a suitable night of entertainment for the Catholic Church and its assembly of priests, nuns and parishioners had been selected. 'The Portlaw Rugby Club' had also chosen their entertainment for their seasonal party.
In his capacity as Secretary to 'St. Michael's Catholic Church,' an operatic drama group had been identified as being wholly appropriate to its audience with their musical production of 'The Sound Of Music.' Elizabeth Ferguson had seen this production performed in its rehearsal stage and reassured her husband that it would be highly entertaining and perfectly suitable for the selection of Catholic guests, especially as the entire cast was made up from a Catholic drama group. Even the two lead players were said to look like Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer.
In his capacity as Secretary to 'St. Michael's Catholic Church,' an operatic drama group had been identified as being wholly appropriate to its audience with their musical production of 'The Sound Of Music.' Elizabeth Ferguson had seen this production performed in its rehearsal stage and reassured her husband that it would be highly entertaining and perfectly suitable for the selection of Catholic guests, especially as the entire cast was made up from a Catholic drama group. Even the two lead players were said to look like Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer.
With regard to the night's entertainment for 'The Portlaw Rugby Club', given the high testosterone level of most of its virile young rugby players, selection of the entertainment for the Christmas Party had never been left for the Secretary to decide. The rugby players themselves decided who and what they wanted to see and after having communicated the contact details to their Social Event's Secretary, the secretarial task merely involved booking the entertainment on the said date and negotiating the best price that could arranged.
The players of 'The Portlaw Rugby Club' regarded both their playing and their pleasures as something never to be short-changed over. Their average age was twenty two years and every single player was single in status and intended to stay unmarried and unattached until their careers in rugby were over; around their thirtieth birthday. To this hedonistic bunch of throbbing-testosterone 24-hour-party-lovers, the site of a scantily-clad woman dancing on top of their dinner table or around a pole appealed to their bizarre range of sexual appetites. In short, as far as entertainment for their Christmas Party was concerned, 'anything goes' was their club motto. And when it came to the consumption of alcohol, it was a requirement of club membership that every one of its team would drink half a dozen pints of Guinness before a game and half a dozen pints after it! No expense was spared and special powerful spirits from the USA were ordered, along with a banquet of stuffed pig, venison and the richest of meats to devour.
The players of 'The Portlaw Rugby Club' regarded both their playing and their pleasures as something never to be short-changed over. Their average age was twenty two years and every single player was single in status and intended to stay unmarried and unattached until their careers in rugby were over; around their thirtieth birthday. To this hedonistic bunch of throbbing-testosterone 24-hour-party-lovers, the site of a scantily-clad woman dancing on top of their dinner table or around a pole appealed to their bizarre range of sexual appetites. In short, as far as entertainment for their Christmas Party was concerned, 'anything goes' was their club motto. And when it came to the consumption of alcohol, it was a requirement of club membership that every one of its team would drink half a dozen pints of Guinness before a game and half a dozen pints after it! No expense was spared and special powerful spirits from the USA were ordered, along with a banquet of stuffed pig, venison and the richest of meats to devour.
It had been decided by the players of 'The Portlaw Rugby Club' that their Boxing Day Party this year would be graced by the attendance of 'The Naughty Nuns from Ballyduff'. The Naughty Nuns had been established for five years now and were probably the highest paid group of female dancers ever to grace any event in Ireland. They were advertised as all having been convent educated prior to obtaining their university degrees. Their dancing was said to be cleverly suggestive without their need to fully disrobe. It was advertised as being a highly cultured and tasteful performance of art in its most beautifully seductive form. It was claimed to be 'a dance that celebrated the beauty of woman while tantalising the senses of man!'
By the end of November, 2012, Magnus had booked and made all the necessary arrangements for both social events on Boxing Day. He had performed his secretarial duties to the letter and therefore determined to give his wife Elizabeth as much of his undivided time and attention that he could henceforth.
Unlike the couple had feared early on in Elizabeth's pregnancy, the foetus didn't abort and was mercifully carried to its full term. All the prenatal signs suggested that the twins would be born in good health and delivered in time for New Year's Day, 2013. Elizabeth decided to tell Magnus that she was expecting twins after they had returned from Midnight Mass on Christmas Day morning. The couple still had an old hickory crib which was one of the cribs they had used at the birth of their previous eleven children.
Unlike the couple had feared early on in Elizabeth's pregnancy, the foetus didn't abort and was mercifully carried to its full term. All the prenatal signs suggested that the twins would be born in good health and delivered in time for New Year's Day, 2013. Elizabeth decided to tell Magnus that she was expecting twins after they had returned from Midnight Mass on Christmas Day morning. The couple still had an old hickory crib which was one of the cribs they had used at the birth of their previous eleven children.
Three days before Christmas Eve, the Portlaw gossip and muck spreader, Nancy Noolan started a rumour around town that Father Frank Rossy had dispensed with his little black book ever since the new nun to the Waterford Convent had arrived in post. This newest sister to the Holy Orders in Waterford was called Sister Bountiful and according to Nancy Noolan, the new nun was in the habit of going to confession twice a week at the presbytery instead of the more usual once weekly, a custom that the other nuns adhered to.
"Bountiful in name and bountiful by nature, if you ask me!" remarked Nancy Noolan as she slyly provided her listeners with a nudge-nudge wink-wink gesture. " From what I've seen of her, whether she be cloaked in black habit or not, she's more than enough to make any priest whose blood still flows red, throw away his little black book."
"Go away with you, Nancy Noolan and take that malicious tongue with you. You've got no right to be going round slandering the parish priest just because one of his sisterly penitents needs to confess her sins twice weekly to him within the confines of his presbytery, you........you poisonous viper. Spit your venom elsewhere!" Elizabeth Ferguson said.
"I was only saying............. Anyway, Elizabeth Ferguson, why shouldn't the nun confess her sins in the open like we have to in the church confessional box? Why should Sister all so Bountiful insist on doing it in the secrecy of the presbytery and on one occasion per week more than the remainder of her sisters in Christ?" Nancy scoffed.
"None of this would be worthy of gossip if she looked like the back of a bus instead of a good-looking female, nun or not," Elizabeth told Nancy. "Now, be off with you before I take a broom to you! Go on. Be off with you, Nancy Noolan, you old rumour monger.......you snake in the grass!"
"And you've no need to be coming across all high and mighty, Madam," Nancy replied as she left Elizabeth's company. "It's.............it's nothing short of indecent at your age!"
"What is? Having a baby?" Elizabeth asked indignantly.
"I mean....you know......... doing it at your age. It's downright disgusting, if you ask me! People of your age weren't meant to give birth to new life when you're on the verge of leaving this one! It's............it's obscene if you ask me. It's downright obscene!" said Nancy before she scarpered from sight.
"Pay no heed to that nosy gossip," Magnus told Elizabeth. "She's just a dried-up old maid who's been left on the shelf and is sour at the thought of another woman having that which she never will. Give her no mind, Elizabeth. She's a dried up prune who's shrivelled with spite!"
"Go away with you, Nancy Noolan and take that malicious tongue with you. You've got no right to be going round slandering the parish priest just because one of his sisterly penitents needs to confess her sins twice weekly to him within the confines of his presbytery, you........you poisonous viper. Spit your venom elsewhere!" Elizabeth Ferguson said.
"I was only saying............. Anyway, Elizabeth Ferguson, why shouldn't the nun confess her sins in the open like we have to in the church confessional box? Why should Sister all so Bountiful insist on doing it in the secrecy of the presbytery and on one occasion per week more than the remainder of her sisters in Christ?" Nancy scoffed.
"None of this would be worthy of gossip if she looked like the back of a bus instead of a good-looking female, nun or not," Elizabeth told Nancy. "Now, be off with you before I take a broom to you! Go on. Be off with you, Nancy Noolan, you old rumour monger.......you snake in the grass!"
"And you've no need to be coming across all high and mighty, Madam," Nancy replied as she left Elizabeth's company. "It's.............it's nothing short of indecent at your age!"
"What is? Having a baby?" Elizabeth asked indignantly.
"I mean....you know......... doing it at your age. It's downright disgusting, if you ask me! People of your age weren't meant to give birth to new life when you're on the verge of leaving this one! It's............it's obscene if you ask me. It's downright obscene!" said Nancy before she scarpered from sight.
"Pay no heed to that nosy gossip," Magnus told Elizabeth. "She's just a dried-up old maid who's been left on the shelf and is sour at the thought of another woman having that which she never will. Give her no mind, Elizabeth. She's a dried up prune who's shrivelled with spite!"
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