Chapter Eight
'Coming out'
Before Margaret had a proper opportunity to tell Tom about having seen her husband in Halifax, her blonde-haired daughter Joe suddenly announced out of the blue that she was ‘in love’. This announcement came in an off-the-cuff matter-of-fact disclosure one evening to Margaret and Tom when she suddenly announced that she was seeing someone special who meant the world to her. It was obvious that she had been smitten by the love bug. Joe simply declared that she loved her partner who she wanted her mum and dad to meet.
Although this news came as a shock to Tom and Margaret as no prior mention had ever been made of Joe seeing anyone, Margaret felt it important to deal appropriately with the unexpected news.
“You’d better bring him around on Sunday next at teatime then and me and Tom will give him the once over,” Margaret said to her daughter.
“Well......that’s another thing you’ll have to give the ‘once over’ to. You see, it’s a ‘her’, not a ‘him!’ Her name is Bridget,” Joe said. “Her name is Bridget Grogan. You see, Mum...........I’m gay and after talking it over with Bridget,
I’ve decided that it’s time to ‘come out of the closet!’”
Although this news came as a shock to Tom and Margaret as no prior mention had ever been made of Joe seeing anyone, Margaret felt it important to deal appropriately with the unexpected news.
“You’d better bring him around on Sunday next at teatime then and me and Tom will give him the once over,” Margaret said to her daughter.
“Well......that’s another thing you’ll have to give the ‘once over’ to. You see, it’s a ‘her’, not a ‘him!’ Her name is Bridget,” Joe said. “Her name is Bridget Grogan. You see, Mum...........I’m gay and after talking it over with Bridget,
I’ve decided that it’s time to ‘come out of the closet!’”
After spending a few minutes taking this information in, it all started to make sense to Margaret. She could understand fully some of the attitudes her daughter had displayed for a long time now. It had absolutely nothing to do with the way she dressed as she always looked lovely and feminine in whatever she wore. It was more to do with her general mannerisms and certain attitudes she'd adopted. It wasn't particularly any agitation regarding increased ‘rights for women’; it was more about being ‘true to oneself’, which Joe would frequently remark about.
As Margaret's mind grappled with what her daughter had just revealed, all of a sudden the image of her daughter and her naked partner swiftly swept across her mind. She found it partly repulsive that any daughter of hers should ever think of a naked woman's body as something to be touched and desired.
For a minute or so, Tom stayed silent and then, in the most casual of manners said, “Now then, if we’ve all ‘come out’ about where we’re at, it’s time for me to reveal a bit of news also. My physiotherapist has suggested some minor adaptation to my new prosthesis, which should make it even easier to get closer to more normal mobility and leg function. He says if I get this adaptation, he feels I should be able to resume all my old responsibilities next season, so it looks like you'll be able to return to full-time writing, Margaret, before the year is out. Now then Joe, this girlfriend of yours......Bridget...does she eat cooked salmon?”
“Oh yes, Dad, Bridget will eat anything that has no meat in,” Joe replied happily. She was so pleased that her revelation had gone down okay with her mother and Tom.
“Bridget....is that a Catholic name?” Margaret asked Joe.
“As she is Catholic, I guess it is!” Joe replied.
“Where...........did you meet....get together?” Margaret asked Joe. Margaret was still a bit uncomfortable asking those sort of questions, which in a conventional relationship between heterosexuals, she wouldn't have felt uncomfortable in the least as a mother asking her daughter about her recent partner.
“At my school. Her dad is the Headmaster there,” Joe replied.
“And does he know that..... that she’s......” Margaret had started to ask.
“It’s called ‘gay’, Mum. The word is gay, and yes, her dad knows. He’s known for over three years now,” Joe said.
“And what about her mother, Mrs Grogan? Is her mother okay with it......you know...about your relationship?” Margaret asked.
“That would be impossible to say. Her mother died many years ago, Mum. In fact, she can’t even remember her mother as she was only an infant when she died,” Joe told them. "And it's referred to as 'partnership' not 'relationship'," Joe added cheekily. "One has a partnership with one's lover and a relationship with one's milk man or window cleaner!"
“Poor child, not to have a mother,” Margaret murmured, ignoring the mild 'put me down' remark that her daughter had administered because of her ignorance in the field of same-sex relationships. “Thank you for telling us anyway, Joe. It must have preyed on your mind as to how we’d respond.”
“I was worried more about you than Dad, Mum. I knew that Dad would be okay with the news, but in truth, I wasn’t quite sure how you’d take it!” she replied.
“I’m no dinosaur, love. I know the world’s made up of all different kinds of folk and that what we’re like is more to do with how we’re made as opposed to what we choose to do or how we do it!” Margaret said. “Besides, love is love, from whichever quarter and form of expression it is to be found, and if it's ‘true love’, then the possessors of it are of the most fortunate of couples.”
“Thank you, Mum. I love you. And thank you Dad for your support. You'll both like Bridget. She's smashing!"
“And does he know that..... that she’s......” Margaret had started to ask.
“It’s called ‘gay’, Mum. The word is gay, and yes, her dad knows. He’s known for over three years now,” Joe said.
“And what about her mother, Mrs Grogan? Is her mother okay with it......you know...about your relationship?” Margaret asked.
“That would be impossible to say. Her mother died many years ago, Mum. In fact, she can’t even remember her mother as she was only an infant when she died,” Joe told them. "And it's referred to as 'partnership' not 'relationship'," Joe added cheekily. "One has a partnership with one's lover and a relationship with one's milk man or window cleaner!"
“Poor child, not to have a mother,” Margaret murmured, ignoring the mild 'put me down' remark that her daughter had administered because of her ignorance in the field of same-sex relationships. “Thank you for telling us anyway, Joe. It must have preyed on your mind as to how we’d respond.”
“I was worried more about you than Dad, Mum. I knew that Dad would be okay with the news, but in truth, I wasn’t quite sure how you’d take it!” she replied.
“I’m no dinosaur, love. I know the world’s made up of all different kinds of folk and that what we’re like is more to do with how we’re made as opposed to what we choose to do or how we do it!” Margaret said. “Besides, love is love, from whichever quarter and form of expression it is to be found, and if it's ‘true love’, then the possessors of it are of the most fortunate of couples.”
“Thank you, Mum. I love you. And thank you Dad for your support. You'll both like Bridget. She's smashing!"
That night as Tom and Margaret lay in bed Margaret turned to Tom and told him that she’d seen her husband Thomas Walsh in Halifax.
“Are you sure it was him?” Tom asked.
“It was him,” Margaret replied. “I’d know him anywhere!”
"But are you 'really' sure it was him?" Tom asked her again.
Margaret sensed a hint of jealousy in his tone of voice and she was momentarily angry in her response. She was not used to having her word questioned and this was the very first disagreement that she and Tom had ever had since they'd known each other.
"Don't you trust me?" Margaret asked. "I said it was him and I'd know him anywhere!"
“Did he spot you?” Tom asked anxiously.
“I don’t think so. I was out of there quicker than you can take your leg off when you’re wanting me on a night time and the urge is too strong to hold on to!”
“You can always get a divorce, you know?” Tom said.
“You know how I feel about divorce, Tom. Besides, that would simply tell our Joe that you aren't her blood father and I can't see the point in that. Her relationship with you couldn't be better. You're her dad now; the only dad she has any recollection of.”
"We'll have to tell the lass someday," Tom replied. "After she's taken her university degree, no doubt she'll be wanting to take a gap year and travel to some foreign parts before she gets her own place and settles down to her own life. She'll be requesting her birth certificate then, no doubt!"
“I never thought about that," Margaret said pensively.
“I’ve been making tentative enquiries outside the parish about seeking an annulment to my marriage. I think that I may have grounds. If I can get an annulment sometime in the future, then the divorce would merely be a civil formality and then we could marry proper. What do you think?” Margaret asked, adding, "I don't mean this year or next year, but after we've had time to come clean to Joe?"
"That sounds good to me Mags. You know I’ll take you with or without the formality of a Church service or a signed piece of paper. I know what it means to you though, to be able to make a clean break with your past, especially if you could do it with the Church’s endorsement also!”
“Are you sure it was him?” Tom asked.
“It was him,” Margaret replied. “I’d know him anywhere!”
"But are you 'really' sure it was him?" Tom asked her again.
Margaret sensed a hint of jealousy in his tone of voice and she was momentarily angry in her response. She was not used to having her word questioned and this was the very first disagreement that she and Tom had ever had since they'd known each other.
"Don't you trust me?" Margaret asked. "I said it was him and I'd know him anywhere!"
“Did he spot you?” Tom asked anxiously.
“I don’t think so. I was out of there quicker than you can take your leg off when you’re wanting me on a night time and the urge is too strong to hold on to!”
“You can always get a divorce, you know?” Tom said.
“You know how I feel about divorce, Tom. Besides, that would simply tell our Joe that you aren't her blood father and I can't see the point in that. Her relationship with you couldn't be better. You're her dad now; the only dad she has any recollection of.”
"We'll have to tell the lass someday," Tom replied. "After she's taken her university degree, no doubt she'll be wanting to take a gap year and travel to some foreign parts before she gets her own place and settles down to her own life. She'll be requesting her birth certificate then, no doubt!"
“I never thought about that," Margaret said pensively.
“I’ve been making tentative enquiries outside the parish about seeking an annulment to my marriage. I think that I may have grounds. If I can get an annulment sometime in the future, then the divorce would merely be a civil formality and then we could marry proper. What do you think?” Margaret asked, adding, "I don't mean this year or next year, but after we've had time to come clean to Joe?"
"That sounds good to me Mags. You know I’ll take you with or without the formality of a Church service or a signed piece of paper. I know what it means to you though, to be able to make a clean break with your past, especially if you could do it with the Church’s endorsement also!”
Every now and then Tom would affectionately call her Mags. She didn’t mind the shortening of her birth name, especially as she knew it to be a practice that her brute of a husband would never have endorsed or countenanced. In a way, it acted as a constant reminder as to how different one Tom was from the other Thomas.
“I love you, Tom Dransfield,” Margaret said as she embraced her bed partner.
“And I love you too, Margaret Dransfield!” he replied.
Then the couple made love before falling asleep in each other's arms.
“I love you, Tom Dransfield,” Margaret said as she embraced her bed partner.
“And I love you too, Margaret Dransfield!” he replied.
Then the couple made love before falling asleep in each other's arms.
XXXXX
When Sunday arrived, so did Joe’s special visitor for tea.
“Hello, Mrs Dransfield. It’s very nice to meet you at last,” Bridget replied as Margaret went to answer the door.
“Come in Bridget. That’s good timing. We were just about to set the table," Margaret said. The brunette Bridget was dressed as one might expect to see a powerful woman look. She embraced an elegance of appearance which marked her out as a person who valued her own individuality and level of self-worth highly.
“Joe, Bridget’s arrived. Please take her coat,” Margaret yelled to her daughter.
As Margaret went back inside the lounge, she turned momentarily to see her daughter kiss Bridget on the lips as a welcome. It felt very strange for the first time for Margaret to see her only daughter kiss another girl full on without an ounce of hesitation as though it was the most natural thing in the world for a couple of girls to do! As Margaret walked back into the lounge, she smiled to herself as it dawned on her there and then that ‘it had indeed been the most natural thing for the two of them to do’!
The meal proceeded well and after Bridget had made up her mind that Joe’s parents accepted her without any resentment, she was more talkative at the table. It became apparent that while both girls had applied for university places that they would only accept a university which was prepared to offer them both a conditional place. Neither girl considered their attendance at different universities as an option they would ever consider as they wanted to remain together over the coming years.
“Don’t.......don’t you think that’s going to greatly restrict your options?” Margaret asked.
“Probably,” Bridget replied, “but we don’t intend to let that stop us pursuing what we really want, Mrs Dransfield. We decided some time ago when we knew we were a permanent item and that we would never allow any person or specific circumstance to part us against our wishes!”
It wasn’t very hard to see which of the two young women took the ‘Butch’ role in their relationship. It was less the pair of jeans and the short cut of Bridget’s hair that gave the game away, but rather the feminine manner in which Joe gave way to the expressed views of her more dominant partner.
“Hello, Mrs Dransfield. It’s very nice to meet you at last,” Bridget replied as Margaret went to answer the door.
“Come in Bridget. That’s good timing. We were just about to set the table," Margaret said. The brunette Bridget was dressed as one might expect to see a powerful woman look. She embraced an elegance of appearance which marked her out as a person who valued her own individuality and level of self-worth highly.
“Joe, Bridget’s arrived. Please take her coat,” Margaret yelled to her daughter.
As Margaret went back inside the lounge, she turned momentarily to see her daughter kiss Bridget on the lips as a welcome. It felt very strange for the first time for Margaret to see her only daughter kiss another girl full on without an ounce of hesitation as though it was the most natural thing in the world for a couple of girls to do! As Margaret walked back into the lounge, she smiled to herself as it dawned on her there and then that ‘it had indeed been the most natural thing for the two of them to do’!
The meal proceeded well and after Bridget had made up her mind that Joe’s parents accepted her without any resentment, she was more talkative at the table. It became apparent that while both girls had applied for university places that they would only accept a university which was prepared to offer them both a conditional place. Neither girl considered their attendance at different universities as an option they would ever consider as they wanted to remain together over the coming years.
“Don’t.......don’t you think that’s going to greatly restrict your options?” Margaret asked.
“Probably,” Bridget replied, “but we don’t intend to let that stop us pursuing what we really want, Mrs Dransfield. We decided some time ago when we knew we were a permanent item and that we would never allow any person or specific circumstance to part us against our wishes!”
It wasn’t very hard to see which of the two young women took the ‘Butch’ role in their relationship. It was less the pair of jeans and the short cut of Bridget’s hair that gave the game away, but rather the feminine manner in which Joe gave way to the expressed views of her more dominant partner.
All of her life, Margaret had brought Joe up to think and act as independent as any male would and to all intents and purposes, before today, she believed that she’d succeeded in this aim. However, it now irked Margaret enormously that having seen Joe exercise untold freedom of thought and action throughout her development in a manner that truly marked her out as being more independent among all other girls, that she'd now decided to be content being the bitch queen to a butch partner; essentially making her no different to most other women on the face of the planet.
While Joe seemed very happy with the way that her parents' first meeting with Bridget had gone, Bridget on the other hand could sense a degree of reservation that Joe's mother still held. She wasn’t quite sure what lay behind any residual resentment Margaret might have held towards the news of their relationship, but she had undoubtedly picked up a degree of repressed hostility which had lain behind some of Margaret's more subtle comments.
While Joe seemed very happy with the way that her parents' first meeting with Bridget had gone, Bridget on the other hand could sense a degree of reservation that Joe's mother still held. She wasn’t quite sure what lay behind any residual resentment Margaret might have held towards the news of their relationship, but she had undoubtedly picked up a degree of repressed hostility which had lain behind some of Margaret's more subtle comments.
Later that night as Tom and Margaret lay in bed, Margaret turned to Tom and asked, ”What did you really think about Bridget, Tom? I know that she’s....well she’s a polite and intelligent girl, but I’m just not sure that she’s the right one for our Joe..........gay or otherwise!”
“She seems okay to me,” Tom replied. ”Besides, she’s Joe’s choice of partner, not yours or mine to make!”
“I know she’s Joe’s choice and God forbid that I would ever seek to interfere in who she chooses to spend her life with, but she is after all her first......partner. I presume they are having...........sex in whatever way one woman has sex with another woman?”
“That’s for her to know and us to worry about if we must. Either way, we can bank on no unexpected pregnancies!" Tom replied. ”What I do know is that if we try to stop them or come down on Joe too harshly for pursuing what she wants, we’ll only drive her away from us instead of keeping her close to our affections.”
“You are such a wise man, Tom Dransfield. Now I remember what I first saw in you........you lovely creature. Oh, I do love you!” Margaret said as she softly kissed him.
“I know you do, lass. Now get some shut eye cos’ I've got a headache. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night.”
“You cheeky rascal,” Margaret said smilingly as she kissed Tom goodnight again.
“She seems okay to me,” Tom replied. ”Besides, she’s Joe’s choice of partner, not yours or mine to make!”
“I know she’s Joe’s choice and God forbid that I would ever seek to interfere in who she chooses to spend her life with, but she is after all her first......partner. I presume they are having...........sex in whatever way one woman has sex with another woman?”
“That’s for her to know and us to worry about if we must. Either way, we can bank on no unexpected pregnancies!" Tom replied. ”What I do know is that if we try to stop them or come down on Joe too harshly for pursuing what she wants, we’ll only drive her away from us instead of keeping her close to our affections.”
“You are such a wise man, Tom Dransfield. Now I remember what I first saw in you........you lovely creature. Oh, I do love you!” Margaret said as she softly kissed him.
“I know you do, lass. Now get some shut eye cos’ I've got a headache. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow night.”
“You cheeky rascal,” Margaret said smilingly as she kissed Tom goodnight again.
XXXXX
Things seemed to proceed relatively smoothly in the life of Margaret over the coming three months. She hardly saw Tom during the day-time hours. He seemed to spend virtually all day at the physiotherapist exercising his new leg since it had undergone a further adaptation. With the tourist season starting, Margaret's daily hours were filled with looking after the guest house during the larger part of the day.
It was entering the summer months when Joe and Bridget secured their 'A' level passes and offers of degree courses. Each girl had been offered university places at Durham and Bath University as a first and second choice. Both had opted for politics, history and economics.
It was entering the summer months when Joe and Bridget secured their 'A' level passes and offers of degree courses. Each girl had been offered university places at Durham and Bath University as a first and second choice. Both had opted for politics, history and economics.
One morning, Margaret who’d planned to meet with the head for some time now, arranged an appointment to see him. She had never met Bridget’s father yet and was naturally curious to learn how he felt about the relationship that had developed between Joe and his daughter. Neither parent had considered informing their daughters of this meeting and Margaret had even arranged it without Tom’s knowledge; believing that he would probably have objected had he known.
Margaret arrived punctually at 10.15 am and was shown into the Head’s office just before 10.20 am.
“So sorry to keep you waiting Mrs Dransf........” the Head started to say before suddenly stopping in his tracks.
As both parties looked across the desk at each other, a moment of shocked silence overcame them before the Headmaster next spoke.
“Mrs....... Dransfield? Margaret? It’s so good to see you again after all this time. Is it Dransfield or Walsh that I should be calling you by?”
“You could ask yourself the very same question, Paddy. Is it Groggy or Grogan as you now seem to go by?” Margaret replied.
Margaret arrived punctually at 10.15 am and was shown into the Head’s office just before 10.20 am.
“So sorry to keep you waiting Mrs Dransf........” the Head started to say before suddenly stopping in his tracks.
As both parties looked across the desk at each other, a moment of shocked silence overcame them before the Headmaster next spoke.
“Mrs....... Dransfield? Margaret? It’s so good to see you again after all this time. Is it Dransfield or Walsh that I should be calling you by?”
“You could ask yourself the very same question, Paddy. Is it Groggy or Grogan as you now seem to go by?” Margaret replied.
The following twenty minutes was spent by the two old neighbours from Portlaw filling in some of the gaps since they’d both left the area.
“How much of a coincidence must it be to have us both turning up here all those years later?” Paddy asked.
“I know,” Margaret replied. “It’s very weird; and that’s without taking into account the relationship that exists between our two daughters.”
Margaret recalled the younger Paddy Groggy that she'd first known in Portlaw and thought how much he seemed to have aged since they'd last met.
“I take it that you’re okay with it................. you know, their ‘coming out' together," Margaret asked Paddy.
“I’m as right with it as any Catholic father or I should perhaps say as right as any parent is supposed to be with it. We can’t change their sexual make-up and chemistry any more than we are able to alter their background circumstances,” the Headmaster said softly, adding, "Although I would suspect that we'd never get Father Michael at St Anne's to agree with that statement."
“I know. I feel precisely the same,” Margaret replied. "As for the church's attitude to gays, Paddy, what they don't know can't hurt them, that's what I say, or as the Catholics of Vegas in the USA say, 'Whatever happens outside the confessional box, stays outside the confessional box!"
“If that became common practice, Margaret, then we'd all be saints and there'd be no sinners!" Paddy replied. Margaret could tell by Paddy's awkwardness that making jokes wasn't his forte.
"I’ll never forget that..... that day you supported me at the graveside," Paddy continued in a more serious tone of voice. "How the mere holding of my hand was so important at that precise moment, just to know that someone mourned Rosie’s death as well as me. I’ve never told Bridget the details of her mother’s death and she has always been led to believe that she died in childbirth and that we were happily married. I couldn’t see any point in taking away any positive image of a mother she never knew. Please don’t tell her anything about these things, Margaret, will you? It would only break her heart. Promise me you won’t!”
“Of course I won’t,” Margaret replied. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“And the Mrs Dransfield, Paddy! I’d appreciate it if you could also keep that under your hat. Folk around here think me and Tom Dransfield to be proper husband and wife and because I've never spoken to Joe about her real father and she's never known him since the first few years of her life, she thinks Tom Dransfield to be him and the both of us to be husband and wife,” Margaret replied.
Both Paddy and Margaret agreed that there would be no point in telling Joe and Bridget the full and brutal truth about their Portlaw background; no point informing them of their true identities and that their parents knew each other well before each decided to start afresh in England. So they swore each other to secrecy. They knew that their two daughters would have to fend off enough discriminatory views and prejudice over their time ahead if they were to remain together in an open homosexual relationship and that they’d have enough on their plates. Both Paddy and Margaret knew that over the years ahead, it would take much guts and fortitude for their offspring just to hold their heads high in a world where conventional values still bitterly resented being tested by gay outsiders.
“How much of a coincidence must it be to have us both turning up here all those years later?” Paddy asked.
“I know,” Margaret replied. “It’s very weird; and that’s without taking into account the relationship that exists between our two daughters.”
Margaret recalled the younger Paddy Groggy that she'd first known in Portlaw and thought how much he seemed to have aged since they'd last met.
“I take it that you’re okay with it................. you know, their ‘coming out' together," Margaret asked Paddy.
“I’m as right with it as any Catholic father or I should perhaps say as right as any parent is supposed to be with it. We can’t change their sexual make-up and chemistry any more than we are able to alter their background circumstances,” the Headmaster said softly, adding, "Although I would suspect that we'd never get Father Michael at St Anne's to agree with that statement."
“I know. I feel precisely the same,” Margaret replied. "As for the church's attitude to gays, Paddy, what they don't know can't hurt them, that's what I say, or as the Catholics of Vegas in the USA say, 'Whatever happens outside the confessional box, stays outside the confessional box!"
“If that became common practice, Margaret, then we'd all be saints and there'd be no sinners!" Paddy replied. Margaret could tell by Paddy's awkwardness that making jokes wasn't his forte.
"I’ll never forget that..... that day you supported me at the graveside," Paddy continued in a more serious tone of voice. "How the mere holding of my hand was so important at that precise moment, just to know that someone mourned Rosie’s death as well as me. I’ve never told Bridget the details of her mother’s death and she has always been led to believe that she died in childbirth and that we were happily married. I couldn’t see any point in taking away any positive image of a mother she never knew. Please don’t tell her anything about these things, Margaret, will you? It would only break her heart. Promise me you won’t!”
“Of course I won’t,” Margaret replied. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“And the Mrs Dransfield, Paddy! I’d appreciate it if you could also keep that under your hat. Folk around here think me and Tom Dransfield to be proper husband and wife and because I've never spoken to Joe about her real father and she's never known him since the first few years of her life, she thinks Tom Dransfield to be him and the both of us to be husband and wife,” Margaret replied.
Both Paddy and Margaret agreed that there would be no point in telling Joe and Bridget the full and brutal truth about their Portlaw background; no point informing them of their true identities and that their parents knew each other well before each decided to start afresh in England. So they swore each other to secrecy. They knew that their two daughters would have to fend off enough discriminatory views and prejudice over their time ahead if they were to remain together in an open homosexual relationship and that they’d have enough on their plates. Both Paddy and Margaret knew that over the years ahead, it would take much guts and fortitude for their offspring just to hold their heads high in a world where conventional values still bitterly resented being tested by gay outsiders.
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