Chapter Eleven: 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
When Sean awoke the next day his boarding house in Brown Street buzzed with the comings and goings as breakfast was served. Sean breakfasted and after engaging in some talk with the landlady, Shula Morrisy, he prepared to visit his plot of abandoned land off the Waterford Road. Before he'd finished his breakfast, the landlady's uncle called in and had a pot of tea before he left.
Ted Morrisy was in his seventies and although Sean could vaguely recollect a man called Morrisy from his youth, he had no recollection of a Morrisy with one false eye, who went by the name of 'Doc'. The reason that Sean had never known Doc Morrisy was because he'd lived in Kilkenny when Sean had lived in Portlaw and only moved back to Portlaw one month after Sean had left for England.
"Fanning.........you say your name is. I knew some Fannings who used to live in William Street. Related, were ye?" Doc asked outright.
Sean had forgotten that nobody stood on ceremony in Portlaw when it came to asking questions of strangers. He'd also forgotten that there were no questions that couldn't be asked or taboo subjects that the villagers avoided approaching.
"Maureen Fanning was my mother and................anyway, me and my family used to live in William Street," Sean said.
"I remember now.......................your da and Molly Platt got the cat flying among the pigeons. Poor Molly! I recall being told that she came to a bad end, didn't she?"
Sean stayed silent and refused to reply unless it proved absolutely necessary.
"I remember your ma, Sean. She was a good Catholic woman...........and your sister who became a nun. I was shocked to hear of your da's accident out in Australia four years ago. Sorry for your loss.........one of those motor board accidents, wasn't it? After he was fished out of the water for burial, I heard that a shark had bitten off his arm. I hear tell he's buried out there."
Sean still stayed silent and after a few moments of catching his breath he spoke again.
"It's strange how both he and Molly met a watery end, if you ask me," Doc said tactlessly before his niece interrupted.
"Nobody is asking you, Uncle, so please leave the lad alone," Shula Morrisy interjected as she noticed Sean's awkward reaction to Doc Morrisy's comments.
"There's no law against asking and no harm in wanting to find out the truth," he replied to his niece's put down before taking his pipe from his pocket and going outside for a smoke.
As Doc walked outside for a smoke, Sean could hear him wheeze heavily.
"Don't be minding Doc," the landlady said in a reassuring tone to Sean, "He used to live in Galway before he finished up in Portlaw and has been nosy about everyone and everything here ever since he came back. The poor man's on his last legs and I don't suspect he'll be asking questions of anyone too much longer."
Before going up to the graveyard, Sean needed some time to think about Doc Morrisy's contribution to his day, so he went for a swift Guinness at the Cotton Mill. He was glad of having grown his beard, since he didn't fancy any more identification or chit chat about his past from the Portlaw patrol of nosy parkers this morning. It was beginning to seem that every time he came back or near to Portlaw, he heard about the death of one more close relative.
Ted Morrisy was in his seventies and although Sean could vaguely recollect a man called Morrisy from his youth, he had no recollection of a Morrisy with one false eye, who went by the name of 'Doc'. The reason that Sean had never known Doc Morrisy was because he'd lived in Kilkenny when Sean had lived in Portlaw and only moved back to Portlaw one month after Sean had left for England.
"Fanning.........you say your name is. I knew some Fannings who used to live in William Street. Related, were ye?" Doc asked outright.
Sean had forgotten that nobody stood on ceremony in Portlaw when it came to asking questions of strangers. He'd also forgotten that there were no questions that couldn't be asked or taboo subjects that the villagers avoided approaching.
"Maureen Fanning was my mother and................anyway, me and my family used to live in William Street," Sean said.
"I remember now.......................your da and Molly Platt got the cat flying among the pigeons. Poor Molly! I recall being told that she came to a bad end, didn't she?"
Sean stayed silent and refused to reply unless it proved absolutely necessary.
"I remember your ma, Sean. She was a good Catholic woman...........and your sister who became a nun. I was shocked to hear of your da's accident out in Australia four years ago. Sorry for your loss.........one of those motor board accidents, wasn't it? After he was fished out of the water for burial, I heard that a shark had bitten off his arm. I hear tell he's buried out there."
Sean still stayed silent and after a few moments of catching his breath he spoke again.
"It's strange how both he and Molly met a watery end, if you ask me," Doc said tactlessly before his niece interrupted.
"Nobody is asking you, Uncle, so please leave the lad alone," Shula Morrisy interjected as she noticed Sean's awkward reaction to Doc Morrisy's comments.
"There's no law against asking and no harm in wanting to find out the truth," he replied to his niece's put down before taking his pipe from his pocket and going outside for a smoke.
As Doc walked outside for a smoke, Sean could hear him wheeze heavily.
"Don't be minding Doc," the landlady said in a reassuring tone to Sean, "He used to live in Galway before he finished up in Portlaw and has been nosy about everyone and everything here ever since he came back. The poor man's on his last legs and I don't suspect he'll be asking questions of anyone too much longer."
Before going up to the graveyard, Sean needed some time to think about Doc Morrisy's contribution to his day, so he went for a swift Guinness at the Cotton Mill. He was glad of having grown his beard, since he didn't fancy any more identification or chit chat about his past from the Portlaw patrol of nosy parkers this morning. It was beginning to seem that every time he came back or near to Portlaw, he heard about the death of one more close relative.
As Sean visited his mother's grave in the grounds of 'St. Michael's Catholic Church', he pondered upon the death of his father and knew that the reconciliation, which had never taken place prior to his death, never would now. Sean stayed by his mother's graveside for a good half hour. He was pleasantly surprised to find it with a proper headstone and well-tended with some recently fresh flowers positioned in a vase.
His sister, Teresa, who'd become a nun many years ago, now lived less than ten miles away and worked in a Catholic retreat that looked after retired and sick priests. It was she who visited the graveside of her mother once a month and placed fresh flowers upon it.
His sister, Teresa, who'd become a nun many years ago, now lived less than ten miles away and worked in a Catholic retreat that looked after retired and sick priests. It was she who visited the graveside of her mother once a month and placed fresh flowers upon it.
Before he left St. Michael's, Sean went inside the church to light a candle and say a prayer for his mother. Upon entering, the empty church seemed cold and eerie. Then as he started to walk up the aisle, Sean thought he saw the priest, Father O'Tool looking back at him from between the church pews.
When he approached, the pew was empty. Sean lit his candle, said his prayer at the altar, and quickly left the church. On the way out, he passed a parishioner coming in.
"Is the priest inside?" the woman parishioner asked Sean.
"No. It's empty. Father O'Tool must be elsewhere, Missus," Sean replied.
"Oh to be sure of that! You've never spoken a truer word, young man. Now then.....hasn't the dear Father been dead and gone for the past three years! Mind you........ there are those who do say he loved this parish so much that when he died he refused to leave it. It was thought that if the Bishop of Waterford was unable to move him on from here in his time, there was no way he'd leave it after he'd passed over! He's often seen they say, alongside Father O'Donnovan serving Sunday Mass and acting as an extra altar helper, or standing over Molly Platt's grave, though I must confess that I've never caught sight of him yet. Still, wherever he is, God rest his soul. I'm sure he's doing no harm. He was always a good priest.........one of the better ones that never talked down to you from the pulpit like some are said to do and if he's joined the land of the spirits, I'm just as sure he'll make a good ghost also!"
Sean quickly made his escape as soon as the parishioner drew breath and before she took him down another road of Irish folklore and superstition. She rabbited on and on that Sean was half convinced she must have been some near blood-relative of Bridie Lowe, the Portlaw gasbag.
When he approached, the pew was empty. Sean lit his candle, said his prayer at the altar, and quickly left the church. On the way out, he passed a parishioner coming in.
"Is the priest inside?" the woman parishioner asked Sean.
"No. It's empty. Father O'Tool must be elsewhere, Missus," Sean replied.
"Oh to be sure of that! You've never spoken a truer word, young man. Now then.....hasn't the dear Father been dead and gone for the past three years! Mind you........ there are those who do say he loved this parish so much that when he died he refused to leave it. It was thought that if the Bishop of Waterford was unable to move him on from here in his time, there was no way he'd leave it after he'd passed over! He's often seen they say, alongside Father O'Donnovan serving Sunday Mass and acting as an extra altar helper, or standing over Molly Platt's grave, though I must confess that I've never caught sight of him yet. Still, wherever he is, God rest his soul. I'm sure he's doing no harm. He was always a good priest.........one of the better ones that never talked down to you from the pulpit like some are said to do and if he's joined the land of the spirits, I'm just as sure he'll make a good ghost also!"
Sean quickly made his escape as soon as the parishioner drew breath and before she took him down another road of Irish folklore and superstition. She rabbited on and on that Sean was half convinced she must have been some near blood-relative of Bridie Lowe, the Portlaw gasbag.
After his visit to 'St. Michael's Catholic Church', Sean went off towards the Waterford Road on his motor bike. He was eager to see his plot of land on which his new abode would one day be built. As he drove down the side road, a rainbow crossed the nearby mountain and settled close to his plot of land, as though it seemed determined to highlight Sean's crock of gold. It was as though the heavens had given him a sign. When he arrived at the site, despite signs of having been left untended, he could still see how it would one day look as it took its place nestled within the mountain backdrop. The site had been left abandoned for almost five years now. The grasses and shrubbery were greatly overgrown, and yet the site looked as enchanting to Sean as the very first time he'd seen it as a young man.
First he would need to demolish the present building that was sited there or if it was worthy of preservation, turn it into a barn dwelling that would be used to give birth to new calves and foals. Then, he would need to employ three good labourers which he knew would be hard to come by in such prosperous times when the economy was thriving and the price of property in Ireland was going through the roof!
With the boom in property prices since 1995 and Southern Ireland joining the Euro on January 1st, 1999, the Irish economy started to roar and it eventually became known as the 'Celtic Tiger'. Sean wanted to get in there and get his house done and dusted long before the next economic bust came along, which he believed was merely a matter of less than a decade away. Everyone seemed to be borrowing money. It was as though there was no tomorrow and that, it would never need to be repaid from their capital. Even if one didn't want borrowed money, the banks were constantly badgering one to take it from them; even those who hadn't a job or any obvious means of ever repaying it! The whole economic structure was as dangerous as a house of cards, ready to topple at the first blow of economic pressure.
Fortunately for Sean, his previous decade of partnership with Tony had resulted in him being able to amass enough capital savings not to require any need to borrow a penny in order to build his dream house. He held over £350,000 savings in his bank, and with his stone masonry and architectural skills at his disposal, along with a prime site on which to build his dream house, he was made up and in no need to be financially dependent on anyone!
First he would need to demolish the present building that was sited there or if it was worthy of preservation, turn it into a barn dwelling that would be used to give birth to new calves and foals. Then, he would need to employ three good labourers which he knew would be hard to come by in such prosperous times when the economy was thriving and the price of property in Ireland was going through the roof!
With the boom in property prices since 1995 and Southern Ireland joining the Euro on January 1st, 1999, the Irish economy started to roar and it eventually became known as the 'Celtic Tiger'. Sean wanted to get in there and get his house done and dusted long before the next economic bust came along, which he believed was merely a matter of less than a decade away. Everyone seemed to be borrowing money. It was as though there was no tomorrow and that, it would never need to be repaid from their capital. Even if one didn't want borrowed money, the banks were constantly badgering one to take it from them; even those who hadn't a job or any obvious means of ever repaying it! The whole economic structure was as dangerous as a house of cards, ready to topple at the first blow of economic pressure.
Fortunately for Sean, his previous decade of partnership with Tony had resulted in him being able to amass enough capital savings not to require any need to borrow a penny in order to build his dream house. He held over £350,000 savings in his bank, and with his stone masonry and architectural skills at his disposal, along with a prime site on which to build his dream house, he was made up and in no need to be financially dependent on anyone!
Over the next six months, Sean and his site labourers, who changed from month to month, worked upon the construction of his house. It was the most unusual house that they had ever worked on, but as long as the wages were good enough and regular they didn't seem to mind whatever structure they were asked to work upon. Sean always managed to keep to his planned building schedule and overall cost.
The bulk of the work involved excavating thousands of tons of earth and rubble, digging out the deepest of foundations that anyone in Waterford had ever seen excavated. After excavating a mammoth crater the size of a small quarry, six large rooms for underground storage were constructed. Sean was in the process of constructing something akin to a stone bunker that was capable of withstanding a nuclear attack. After the house beneath ground level had been complete, work started on the house above ground level. The sides were walled in natural boulders of huge stone.
Talk of this strange development eventually spread through the whole of Portlaw and the surrounding area and when the word got out that it was the oldest Fanning boy behind the 'Green Project', as many of the locals came to refer to it, the gossip merely increased and for a brief period, the Fanning household had their old coals raked over in the tap rooms of the local pubs.
For a few weeks, it was as though the bodies of Molly Platt, along with both of Sean's parents had been exhumed as their corpses became the subject of salacious gossip once more. The gossip eventually died down and new rumour quickly took its place about the strange-looking dwelling that had started to appear on the landscape.
When Sean wanted to buttress the gable ends of his house he used two gigantic boulders, one at each end, the like of which had never been used in any prior construction. The locals allowed their Catholic minds to run rampant as they speculated about the boulders that formed the gable ends of the dwelling and the boulder of Christ's tomb that was found rolled back three days after his crucifixion. The publican, Paddy Doyle summed up much of what many in Portlaw thought and whispered when he said, "Now.....didn't the good Lord point the way. Just as the boulder couldn't stop him breaking out, neither can those boulders keep the truth about the late Sean Fanning Senior and Molly Platt imprisoned. The truth will out! That's what they say....the truth will out!"
For a few weeks, it was as though the bodies of Molly Platt, along with both of Sean's parents had been exhumed as their corpses became the subject of salacious gossip once more. The gossip eventually died down and new rumour quickly took its place about the strange-looking dwelling that had started to appear on the landscape.
When Sean wanted to buttress the gable ends of his house he used two gigantic boulders, one at each end, the like of which had never been used in any prior construction. The locals allowed their Catholic minds to run rampant as they speculated about the boulders that formed the gable ends of the dwelling and the boulder of Christ's tomb that was found rolled back three days after his crucifixion. The publican, Paddy Doyle summed up much of what many in Portlaw thought and whispered when he said, "Now.....didn't the good Lord point the way. Just as the boulder couldn't stop him breaking out, neither can those boulders keep the truth about the late Sean Fanning Senior and Molly Platt imprisoned. The truth will out! That's what they say....the truth will out!"
When Sean was in the final months of his house being completed, he met an angel from heaven. He had got into the habit of regularly tending his mother's grave, but the change of flowers upon it confirmed that he was not the sole visitor. One Thursday morning as he made his weekly visit to the graveside, he approached the grave and saw a nun knelt there in prayerful pose. He immediately sensed who the other visitor was. As soon as she turned around upon hearing Sean's footsteps, her eyes started to flood and she started to cry.
"Teresa?" Sean said lovingly as he gazed at the woman in the nun's habit.
"Hello Sean," the nun replied as she flung her arms around her brother's shoulders. "It's so good to see you, brother, and so long since anyone called me by my Christian name."
Sean and Teresa embraced. It felt so good to have his arms around a family member once more after all those years.
"I'm so sorry, I missed her funeral," Sean started to explain. He needed to tell his sister before she could voice the question and he knew if he didn't say it now, he might never have the courage to reveal the truth to her. "The simple truth was that I never knew she had died as I was in prison at the time in England and did not provide a forwarding address until I came out. I was ashamed......you see. By that time.........Well you know the rest. By the time I discovered about ma it was too late. I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for you and the others, Teresa. So sorry."
"Teresa?" Sean said lovingly as he gazed at the woman in the nun's habit.
"Hello Sean," the nun replied as she flung her arms around her brother's shoulders. "It's so good to see you, brother, and so long since anyone called me by my Christian name."
Sean and Teresa embraced. It felt so good to have his arms around a family member once more after all those years.
"I'm so sorry, I missed her funeral," Sean started to explain. He needed to tell his sister before she could voice the question and he knew if he didn't say it now, he might never have the courage to reveal the truth to her. "The simple truth was that I never knew she had died as I was in prison at the time in England and did not provide a forwarding address until I came out. I was ashamed......you see. By that time.........Well you know the rest. By the time I discovered about ma it was too late. I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for you and the others, Teresa. So sorry."
"I always believed that you didn't know or couldn't come," Teresa said as Sean started to cry gently. "Ma would understand and I believe she knows now, Sean. I do believe in the afterlife; not just because I'm a nun or a 'good Catholic', but because it's so reassuring. If heaven has angels, Sean, then I'm sure that ma is one of their ranks!"
Sean and Teresa spoke for about fifteen minutes before his sister indicated that she had to return to her duties. However, before she left, Teresa dropped the bombshell!
"Have you seen her yet?" Teresa asked.
"Seen who?" he asked, half knowing what her answer would be before she gave it.
"Sister Bernadette as she was.................. Sarah Platt," Teresa replied.
"I heard a long time ago that she'd joined the sisterhood like you," Sean said. "I presumed she is....or was still in it."
"She left the Order when her father died two years ago," Teresa informed Sean, "so she could look after her......Molly. She still lives on the farm. I think you should see her Sean. You should look Sarah up. I know she'd love to see you again."
"She's..............the farm? Molly?" Sean asked again.
"Look her up, Sean. I have to go now. I'll pray for you. God bless you, brother," she said as she gently kissed his cheek.
"When will I see you again, Teresa?" he asked his sister. She smiled and without replying walked away towards the cemetery gates.
As his sister Teresa walked away, Sean instantly got this glamourized image of Sarah as a nun inside his head. He could imagine her getting rid of her make up on that first day as she donned the sacking and simple garb of a sister's novice. While Sean could not possibly know how she looked today, he felt convinced that beauty of face would not have deserted Sarah.
"Have you seen her yet?" Teresa asked.
"Seen who?" he asked, half knowing what her answer would be before she gave it.
"Sister Bernadette as she was.................. Sarah Platt," Teresa replied.
"I heard a long time ago that she'd joined the sisterhood like you," Sean said. "I presumed she is....or was still in it."
"She left the Order when her father died two years ago," Teresa informed Sean, "so she could look after her......Molly. She still lives on the farm. I think you should see her Sean. You should look Sarah up. I know she'd love to see you again."
"She's..............the farm? Molly?" Sean asked again.
"Look her up, Sean. I have to go now. I'll pray for you. God bless you, brother," she said as she gently kissed his cheek.
"When will I see you again, Teresa?" he asked his sister. She smiled and without replying walked away towards the cemetery gates.
As his sister Teresa walked away, Sean instantly got this glamourized image of Sarah as a nun inside his head. He could imagine her getting rid of her make up on that first day as she donned the sacking and simple garb of a sister's novice. While Sean could not possibly know how she looked today, he felt convinced that beauty of face would not have deserted Sarah.
As his sister walked away, Sean realised that as a nun, Teresa had not the freedom to roam and mix with others as she chose, even if those others were of her own flesh and blood. He knew that if and when she was able to see him again, she would find a way to let him know it. Hence, all future contact with her would be at her initiation or if they happened to meet at their mother's graveside.
Sean found it hard to take in the news about Sarah's presence, who was living back on her parents' farm. It had been so long since he'd thought of Sarah and indeed, until he'd put foot back on Portlaw soil, he could honestly say that he'd managed to block her out of his memory bank as being too hurtful to think of.
Like it or not however, she was now back in Portlaw and whatever the hurt involved by their reunion, he had to see her one last time to know why she broke it off without telling him so. He needed to know this so that it might finally bring some closure and thereby allow himself to emotionally move on. Although it was twenty-four years after the event of Sarah leaving him, that feeling of barbed-wire love that had pulled at his heart and flesh since leaving Portlaw still seemed in part to have returned. He needed to know why? Why? Why? Why?
Sean found it hard to take in the news about Sarah's presence, who was living back on her parents' farm. It had been so long since he'd thought of Sarah and indeed, until he'd put foot back on Portlaw soil, he could honestly say that he'd managed to block her out of his memory bank as being too hurtful to think of.
Like it or not however, she was now back in Portlaw and whatever the hurt involved by their reunion, he had to see her one last time to know why she broke it off without telling him so. He needed to know this so that it might finally bring some closure and thereby allow himself to emotionally move on. Although it was twenty-four years after the event of Sarah leaving him, that feeling of barbed-wire love that had pulled at his heart and flesh since leaving Portlaw still seemed in part to have returned. He needed to know why? Why? Why? Why?
It took Sean two more months before his house had been completed. He decided to put off seeing Sarah until then, inwardly hoping that she might seek him out. Sean knew that she would have been sure to have heard of his return and of his house project on the Waterford Road, especially as it had made the local press and radio station, WLRFM.
As Sean approached the Platt Farm, in spite of it being twenty-four years since he'd last been here, the feelings of uncertainty and doubt which he'd harboured then had returned. It was as though his body was being transported back in feelings to that last occasion when Sarah's father had ushered him off the property, armed with a loaded shotgun. He walked tentatively up towards the farmhouse door and knocked. He could hear the voice of a female from the parlour inside.
As Sean approached the Platt Farm, in spite of it being twenty-four years since he'd last been here, the feelings of uncertainty and doubt which he'd harboured then had returned. It was as though his body was being transported back in feelings to that last occasion when Sarah's father had ushered him off the property, armed with a loaded shotgun. He walked tentatively up towards the farmhouse door and knocked. He could hear the voice of a female from the parlour inside.
"I'll get it," the voice said as a young redheaded woman in her twenties opened the door with a cup of tea in her hand.
The sight of the young woman almost led Sean to faint. She looked the spitting image of the Sarah who'd dumped him way back in 1976 and who'd gone off to join the sisterhood. He felt like he was being transported back in time; to a time of his and Sarah's seventeenth year of life.
The sight of the young woman almost led Sean to faint. She looked the spitting image of the Sarah who'd dumped him way back in 1976 and who'd gone off to join the sisterhood. He felt like he was being transported back in time; to a time of his and Sarah's seventeenth year of life.
"Who is it, Molly?" an older female voice asked. As this latter question was being voiced, the speaker of it approached the door to greet the visitor. It was another redheaded woman. This time, a woman about Sean's age faced him.
In a matter-of-fact voice that didn't betray any sense of emotion, embarrassment or a hint of shame, Sarah looked at Sean and softly said, "Hello, Sean. I was wondering when you'd come round. I've been expecting you since the spring when you returned to Portlaw and started building your house. Please come inside. I'll get you a cup of tea. Molly, will you get our guest, Mr. Fanning, a pot of tea. I'll have one as well. "
Molly went off into the kitchen to brew some tea and Sean was shown into the front room by Sarah. Having only left the Order two years earlier, Sarah still possessed the quiet and demur mannerisms which had undoubtedly been part of her life for over twenty years as a nun. Despite having reached her fortieth year, she looked as beautiful as ever. She could easily have been a fashion model instead of a nun, had she so chosen.
After an uneasy silence between the couple for about three minutes, Sarah was the first to speak.
In a matter-of-fact voice that didn't betray any sense of emotion, embarrassment or a hint of shame, Sarah looked at Sean and softly said, "Hello, Sean. I was wondering when you'd come round. I've been expecting you since the spring when you returned to Portlaw and started building your house. Please come inside. I'll get you a cup of tea. Molly, will you get our guest, Mr. Fanning, a pot of tea. I'll have one as well. "
Molly went off into the kitchen to brew some tea and Sean was shown into the front room by Sarah. Having only left the Order two years earlier, Sarah still possessed the quiet and demur mannerisms which had undoubtedly been part of her life for over twenty years as a nun. Despite having reached her fortieth year, she looked as beautiful as ever. She could easily have been a fashion model instead of a nun, had she so chosen.
After an uneasy silence between the couple for about three minutes, Sarah was the first to speak.
"I know that you must think badly of me, Sean, and have probably done so for over twenty years, but believe me when I say that I never 'ran out on you'. My father made me go................he was the one to turn me out of the home I'd been brought up in. First, he turned out my mother when she brought disgrace upon the family name and then me!"
Sean was about to say something, but Sarah prevented him speaking.
"Hear me out, Sean. Please hear me out and all I have to say before you pass any judgement on me. When my father discovered that my mother and your father had been................well that alone almost ended all chance of him ever accepting you or anyone related to a Fanning as my husband. But..........it.......it was when he found out that.............. I was with child that he finally turned his face against me........your child, Sean."
"He sent me away to have the pregnancy stopped, even though he risked imprisonment by doing so. I couldn't go through with it, Sean. I wouldn't go through with it, but neither could I return back home. Nobody knew where you were in England and I didn't know what to do for the best. I was eventually persuaded by the nuns to put the child up for adoption. I did and.........then as the nuns had provided for me in my time of need, I thought it only right to repay them by joining their Order, which I did. Believe me, Sean,that I did try first to find you, but you'd already left for England with no forwarding address."
"I stayed as a Sister of Holy Orders for twenty years and came back to the farm two years ago. My dad had just died and my Molly......our Molly had exercised her right to find her birth mother. Once Molly and I had been re-united, there was simply no way that I could go back to living the life of a nun. For over twenty three years, we'd been separated and from the moment of laying eyes on her again, my future had been cast anew. I applied to leave the sisterhood and returned here. Soon after, Molly joined me and we've been her over fifteen months now."
Sean was moved by the explanation and he could see that the past twenty-four years had been no less heart breaking for Sarah than they had been for him. She too had carried her cross; a cross that she should never have had to bear alone without his support or the support of her family. Both had lost the support of each other and their family at a crucial stage of their development and in many ways, both had been imprisoned with the consequences thereafter!
Sean was about to say something, but Sarah prevented him speaking.
"Hear me out, Sean. Please hear me out and all I have to say before you pass any judgement on me. When my father discovered that my mother and your father had been................well that alone almost ended all chance of him ever accepting you or anyone related to a Fanning as my husband. But..........it.......it was when he found out that.............. I was with child that he finally turned his face against me........your child, Sean."
"He sent me away to have the pregnancy stopped, even though he risked imprisonment by doing so. I couldn't go through with it, Sean. I wouldn't go through with it, but neither could I return back home. Nobody knew where you were in England and I didn't know what to do for the best. I was eventually persuaded by the nuns to put the child up for adoption. I did and.........then as the nuns had provided for me in my time of need, I thought it only right to repay them by joining their Order, which I did. Believe me, Sean,that I did try first to find you, but you'd already left for England with no forwarding address."
"I stayed as a Sister of Holy Orders for twenty years and came back to the farm two years ago. My dad had just died and my Molly......our Molly had exercised her right to find her birth mother. Once Molly and I had been re-united, there was simply no way that I could go back to living the life of a nun. For over twenty three years, we'd been separated and from the moment of laying eyes on her again, my future had been cast anew. I applied to leave the sisterhood and returned here. Soon after, Molly joined me and we've been her over fifteen months now."
Sean was moved by the explanation and he could see that the past twenty-four years had been no less heart breaking for Sarah than they had been for him. She too had carried her cross; a cross that she should never have had to bear alone without his support or the support of her family. Both had lost the support of each other and their family at a crucial stage of their development and in many ways, both had been imprisoned with the consequences thereafter!
As Sarah was completing her explanation to Sean, Molly entered the room with a tray containing a pot of tea, three cups and saucers and a plate of oatmeal biscuits. Molly was about to put the tray down and serve the tea as Sarah looked at her daughter and said, "Molly. Remember the boy.....the man I spoke to you about before I became a nun...................Well Mr. Fanning......Sean...........this is him. This is your father, Molly. Sean Fanning is your father!"
Molly dropped the tray from her hands, sending it and its contents crashing to the ground. Then she ran from the room, outside the farmhouse and across the field. The collie dog ran after her, barking loudly as though Molly was playing a game with him.
"Don't mind her, Sean," Sarah told him. "It's........it's all a shock to her at the moment. She'll come round. She's one of the most gentle and sensible young women I know. She'll come around when she gets a bit of space between her immediate thoughts and confused feelings."
"Did she know............about me?" Sean asked Sarah.
"She knew she'd been adopted and I'd told her about you without naming you. Until now, she didn't actually know it was you........that you are her father. I didn't know how you'd react to the news and I couldn't take the chance of hurting her again by telling her before I was sure. I'd already broken her heart twenty-four years ago and I wasn't about to do it again. I remember how bad I felt when my ma drowned herself. I didn't want her to lose her father just after finding you."
"Did she know............about me?" Sean asked Sarah.
"She knew she'd been adopted and I'd told her about you without naming you. Until now, she didn't actually know it was you........that you are her father. I didn't know how you'd react to the news and I couldn't take the chance of hurting her again by telling her before I was sure. I'd already broken her heart twenty-four years ago and I wasn't about to do it again. I remember how bad I felt when my ma drowned herself. I didn't want her to lose her father just after finding you."
Sean and Sarah spoke over the next hour, during which time Molly stayed out. They filled each other in on virtually all that had happened to them. Sean even owned up to his prison sentence served. Sarah seemed to accept these things as merely having been a part of the rich tapestry of Sean's life since they'd parted, which now seemed a life time ago. Sean told Sarah about Maxine and his love for her, but couldn't yet tell her about him fathering another daughter. Having just been informed about his daughter Molly, imparting such knowledge to Sarah about his second daughter whom he'd never seen just seemed too much today.
Sarah assured Sean that Molly would be all right after she'd walked and had given herself time to think and come to terms with any uncertainty of emotions that worried her. She assured him that Molly would be down by the stream; a spot she favoured whenever she needed some 'time out' to think.
The couple parted amicably without making any commitment of future actions or expectations. Sean's meeting with Sarah and Molly had emotionally swamped him. He needed time to take it all in and to think what best to do. He still felt something deep for Sarah, but he wasn't sure how she still felt about him and he was essentially fearful of making himself emotionally available again. He knew that emotional availability came with emotional vulnerability and it also left him open to the possibility of being rejected again. So Sean decided to hold back and allow Sarah to make any running there was to be done between them, if any.
"Please tell Molly, I'd be very happy for her to visit me whenever......if ever she wants to. You also!" Sean said as he left the farm.
"I will, Sean," Sarah said, before adding, "I'm sure she will visit you after she's got her head around things. We are very lucky that she wanted to seek us out in the first place. Bye, Sean."
Sarah assured Sean that Molly would be all right after she'd walked and had given herself time to think and come to terms with any uncertainty of emotions that worried her. She assured him that Molly would be down by the stream; a spot she favoured whenever she needed some 'time out' to think.
The couple parted amicably without making any commitment of future actions or expectations. Sean's meeting with Sarah and Molly had emotionally swamped him. He needed time to take it all in and to think what best to do. He still felt something deep for Sarah, but he wasn't sure how she still felt about him and he was essentially fearful of making himself emotionally available again. He knew that emotional availability came with emotional vulnerability and it also left him open to the possibility of being rejected again. So Sean decided to hold back and allow Sarah to make any running there was to be done between them, if any.
"Please tell Molly, I'd be very happy for her to visit me whenever......if ever she wants to. You also!" Sean said as he left the farm.
"I will, Sean," Sarah said, before adding, "I'm sure she will visit you after she's got her head around things. We are very lucky that she wanted to seek us out in the first place. Bye, Sean."
Over the next two weeks, Sean didn't have any contact with either Sarah or Molly. He busied himself landscaping a copy of something that his old partner Tony had once created, using the medium of greenery, mossy stone, ground undulations and grasses. He called it his 'Sleeping Giant'. By the clever use of a number of mossy stones and boulders he found on his land, he constructed a prostrated body that looked to be asleep on the ground. He also sculpted a human head from another large stone whose features were so lifelike, it would have scared witless any night-time burglar who stumbled across it as they crept through the orchard area towards his house in the dark.
The month of September had arrived by the time Sean's house had been built. Sean held an open house for everyone in Portlaw to visit so that they might view their neighbour's achievement. Naturally, almost everyone took advantage of the open invitation. Food and drink was amply provided by Sean and two fiddlers and a woman on the squeeze box provided the background musical entertainment. All the children loved 'The Sleeping Giant', which their parents told them to be sure not to disturb. The open day went off well, but Sarah and Molly were two of the few Portlaw residents who didn't attend.
The morning after his 'open house day', Sean had two visitors, Sarah and their daughter Molly. Sarah indicated that they wanted to come on a day when he would be alone; hence they had not attended his open day yesterday.
The morning was more successful than either Sean or Sarah could have imagined and it gave Molly tremendous satisfaction to be able to look across the room and see both her birth mother and father standing there together and looking very comfortable in the presence of each other.
Later that morning, Sean took both women out to the part of the land beyond the orchard area where he wanted to show them something he'd done and hoped that they'd approve of.
When they got there he showed them two old tree stumps that faced each other. One stump was in its beaten and worn-down form whereas the other stump had been turned into a veritable work of art. With the use of a chainsaw and a selection of wood chisels that Tony had left him, Sean had fashioned the wooden stump in the image of his mother's face.
"It's beautiful, Sean," Sarah said with tears in her eyes as she looked upon the craftsmanship it had taken to produce such a finished and realistic work of art.
"If you'd like, I'd love to use the other stump to carve a likeness of your mother, Sarah. They were friends for much more of their lives than not, and it would be nice to think them friends again, forever more. What do you think?"
"I'd love that, Sean Fanning," Sarah said softly, "What a wonderful memorial! I'd almost forgotten how sensitive and good a man you are. You know Sean, I still hold strong feelings for you. I don't think I ever lost them; I merely repressed them."
"And I you also, Sarah Platt. Let's get back to the house and I'll show you and Molly round it properly. By God, it's fair grand to see you both here."
"And it's fair grand to be here...........Dad," Molly replied. "What say you, Ma?"
The morning was more successful than either Sean or Sarah could have imagined and it gave Molly tremendous satisfaction to be able to look across the room and see both her birth mother and father standing there together and looking very comfortable in the presence of each other.
Later that morning, Sean took both women out to the part of the land beyond the orchard area where he wanted to show them something he'd done and hoped that they'd approve of.
When they got there he showed them two old tree stumps that faced each other. One stump was in its beaten and worn-down form whereas the other stump had been turned into a veritable work of art. With the use of a chainsaw and a selection of wood chisels that Tony had left him, Sean had fashioned the wooden stump in the image of his mother's face.
"It's beautiful, Sean," Sarah said with tears in her eyes as she looked upon the craftsmanship it had taken to produce such a finished and realistic work of art.
"If you'd like, I'd love to use the other stump to carve a likeness of your mother, Sarah. They were friends for much more of their lives than not, and it would be nice to think them friends again, forever more. What do you think?"
"I'd love that, Sean Fanning," Sarah said softly, "What a wonderful memorial! I'd almost forgotten how sensitive and good a man you are. You know Sean, I still hold strong feelings for you. I don't think I ever lost them; I merely repressed them."
"And I you also, Sarah Platt. Let's get back to the house and I'll show you and Molly round it properly. By God, it's fair grand to see you both here."
"And it's fair grand to be here...........Dad," Molly replied. "What say you, Ma?"
Our story ends where it began many years earlier, in dear old Portlaw. I'd like to report that Sean and Sarah eventually got together and tied the knot with a church wedding, but alas they didn't. It wasn't that they didn't love each other. I don't think that either of them ever stopped loving the other.
No, what prevented them marrying was a simple fact that too much water had flowed beneath the bridge. They both came to gradually recognise, that however much they would have dearly wished it to be otherwise, their time had been and gone. For though the train may arrive and depart the railway station many times, journeys previously taken by any passenger can never be identically experienced if the same route is travelled again. Too many miles had been travelled and their respective train undercarriages had disturbed the ground too much between the rails. What they once possessed was a love so perfect, that once lost, could never return in equal measure.
So it was between Sean and Sarah. Each had committed themselves to another marriage, even though neither had been able to follow through with their intentions. The chalice of their pure love had been tainted with the disappointment of another commitment of the heart and soul, him to Maxine and Sarah to Christ. Both marriages had been null and void, and yet, they effectively sullied the perfection of their first true love; losing all prospect of ever truly regaining that which they had tragically lost.
No, what prevented them marrying was a simple fact that too much water had flowed beneath the bridge. They both came to gradually recognise, that however much they would have dearly wished it to be otherwise, their time had been and gone. For though the train may arrive and depart the railway station many times, journeys previously taken by any passenger can never be identically experienced if the same route is travelled again. Too many miles had been travelled and their respective train undercarriages had disturbed the ground too much between the rails. What they once possessed was a love so perfect, that once lost, could never return in equal measure.
So it was between Sean and Sarah. Each had committed themselves to another marriage, even though neither had been able to follow through with their intentions. The chalice of their pure love had been tainted with the disappointment of another commitment of the heart and soul, him to Maxine and Sarah to Christ. Both marriages had been null and void, and yet, they effectively sullied the perfection of their first true love; losing all prospect of ever truly regaining that which they had tragically lost.
x
Sean and Sarah were to remain lifelong friends. Neither of them ever married or seemed to desire another partner. They both had their daughter Molly to keep the memory of their past love for each other alive. Molly turned out to be a truly wonderful all-round individual who was a credit to her parents. Until she married at the age of twenty nine years, Molly lived between both parents and came to love them both equally. She had made their ultimate purpose in life complete.
Sean continued working on small building projects which gave him the opportunity to use the skills that Tony had taught him. His sister Teresa remained as a nun all of her life and Sean's two remaining brothers in Ireland re-initiated contact with Sean in their fifties. Sean built them both their houses and at the age of sixty years, he flew to Australia on holiday where he met up with his other siblings he hadn't seen since his teens, and their families.
Sean continued working on small building projects which gave him the opportunity to use the skills that Tony had taught him. His sister Teresa remained as a nun all of her life and Sean's two remaining brothers in Ireland re-initiated contact with Sean in their fifties. Sean built them both their houses and at the age of sixty years, he flew to Australia on holiday where he met up with his other siblings he hadn't seen since his teens, and their families.
Anyway, as I previously stated, our story ends where it started, in dear old Portlaw. The date is June 24th, 2003. It is 9.45 am to be precise. The sun has brushed the morning ground and nature has fully risen. Molly has slept over at her father's house, and as usual she is the first to rise. Sean is in the bathroom, getting a wash before having a later-than-usual breakfast, which Molly is in the process of making.
There is a knock on the door as Sean comes out of his shower. "See to that, will you, Molly," he yells from the back of the house as he dresses. "Someone's at the door."
Molly opens the door to find another woman in her twenties standing there with a head of hair every bit as red as her own.
There is a knock on the door as Sean comes out of his shower. "See to that, will you, Molly," he yells from the back of the house as he dresses. "Someone's at the door."
Molly opens the door to find another woman in her twenties standing there with a head of hair every bit as red as her own.
"Is this where Sean Fanning lives?" the woman caller asks, adding, "The Sean Fanning from William Street whose mother was Maureen Fanning?"
"It is," Molly replied. "Who shall I say is wanting him? He's just getting dressed."
"Who is it Molly?" Sean asks his daughter Molly as he approaches the front door.
"It's your daughter, Sophia. Your second daughter........Maxine's lass. I'd better put on some more eggs and bacon. Two more rounds of toast should do it, I think," Molly replied.
The end.
May 16th, 2013.
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