Chapter Three: ‘Mary Lannon Craves Motherhood’
Thirty-two weeks earlier, Mary Fanning learned that she was pregnant and was expecting quads. While initially overjoyed to be the prospective mother of four instead of the more usual one, Mary soon came face to face with the cold cruelty that hovers over life and death.
Eight weeks into her pregnancy, upon examination, the doctor told Mary that two of the foetuses were failing to thrive in her womb and were most unlikely to survive the full gestation period. The medics said that if the two least nourished foetuses did survive until the moment of their birth, which was most unlikely, all four of the infants would probably suffer in consequence. Mary felt desolate and trapped. It was though she had been wrapped in a coil of barb wire and couldn't escape the ecstasy and agony unfolding inside her body.
Knowing that if the two feeblest of her foetuses lived, then the lives of all four would be at risk, left Mary’s motherly instincts unable to pray for either outcome. She eventually resigned herself to placing her fate and that of her unborn children in the hands of the Lord.
Eight weeks into her pregnancy, upon examination, the doctor told Mary that two of the foetuses were failing to thrive in her womb and were most unlikely to survive the full gestation period. The medics said that if the two least nourished foetuses did survive until the moment of their birth, which was most unlikely, all four of the infants would probably suffer in consequence. Mary felt desolate and trapped. It was though she had been wrapped in a coil of barb wire and couldn't escape the ecstasy and agony unfolding inside her body.
Knowing that if the two feeblest of her foetuses lived, then the lives of all four would be at risk, left Mary’s motherly instincts unable to pray for either outcome. She eventually resigned herself to placing her fate and that of her unborn children in the hands of the Lord.
Poor Mary, having recently separated from her husband, she now faced most of her pregnancy alone, apart from the help of her stepmother, Nancy. She felt twisted and torn in a torrent of trepidation, hoping for the best, but fearing the worst.
As feared, Mary left the Maternity Hospital with only two of the original four foetuses she had carried inside her for thirty-two weeks. The surviving two baby girls were low in weight, but otherwise healthy in all other ways. Both mother and babies stayed in hospital for an extra week to give the surviving infants an increased chance of making it.
Upon return to her home in Portlaw, Mary carried two babies in her arms and kept the other two sisters who had died in her heart. She could not reconcile the ironic combination of grief and celebration, being fully aware that while two of her precious infants had lived, Nellie and Nora, within the week, she would be attending the funeral of her two unborn children.
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Nellie and Nora Fanning’s mother had been born Mary Lannon in Clonmel, County Tipperary on December 8th, 1892. She was the eldest of thirteen children, ten of whom survived beyond their infancy. She was born on one of the Marian Feast Days of the Roman Catholic Church, ‘The Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary,’ and was therefore named after the Blessed Virgin. Her mother was Maureen and her father Harry worked as the second hand to a local Smithy.
Ever since her early childhood years, Mary Lannon had but one dream, to become a mother. She knew that from all the roles in the world, the one she most craved was that of ‘motherhood’. She always felt like a mother, thought like a mother and even learned to perform those household roles that mothers are born to do; cleaning, scrubbing, ironing,darning, cooking and looking after her younger siblings.
Mary had always tried to live up to the worthiness of her baptismal name. She revered the Blessed Virgin, even as much as she revered Jesus himself. Indeed, had it not been for her obsession with motherhood, her natural devoutness would have no doubt led to her joining the sisterhood in her teens and eventually becoming a nun. Often, when she looked in the mirror after her daily prayers to the Blessed Virgin she would imagine herself like the Blessed Mary and try to discern the presence of a halo above her head.
Indeed, virtually all of Mary’s childhood witnessed her enacting the role of motherhood. She helped her mum at every opportunity, looking after her younger siblings and essentially becoming ‘little mama’ in the household by the age of nine years. Whenever she played her games, it was always a game played with her younger siblings or other children. Whenever she prayed, either by the side of her bed or at the table, she always prayed for motherhood.
Even when she had entered her teenage years, Mary’s mind remained preoccupied with one thought only, that of motherhood. Instead of dreaming of boys or being attentive to her lessons in class, Mary would spend most of her days looking out the window and daydreaming of the future when she would have children of her own to tend to and educate.
The nuns who taught the pupils were constantly reprimanding Mary for her persistent daydreaming. The nuns were extremely strict in the imposition of discipline and were quick to use the swish of the cane in the event of inattentiveness or any talking back.
It did not seem to matter whether it be boy or girl being punished, all pupils were caned in public view of the rest of the class. Whether boy or girl, each received the swish across their bottom; and as if to add further shame to the punishment, the girls would have their dresses raised over their heads before they received their caning and the boys would have their pants lowered to half mast. Occasionally, if boy or girl been judged to have warranted a graver punishment, their knickers and underpants would also be lowered!
Whenever a girl received her public punishment, the boys would gawp as they strained their eyeballs seeking closer sight of her knickers or anything beneath. Many pupils believed that by allowing boys to witness the caning of girls in such a public manner, the nuns got a second whack at punishment duties.
It did not seem to matter whether it be boy or girl being punished, all pupils were caned in public view of the rest of the class. Whether boy or girl, each received the swish across their bottom; and as if to add further shame to the punishment, the girls would have their dresses raised over their heads before they received their caning and the boys would have their pants lowered to half mast. Occasionally, if boy or girl been judged to have warranted a graver punishment, their knickers and underpants would also be lowered!
Whenever a girl received her public punishment, the boys would gawp as they strained their eyeballs seeking closer sight of her knickers or anything beneath. Many pupils believed that by allowing boys to witness the caning of girls in such a public manner, the nuns got a second whack at punishment duties.
Prior to caning any girl, the teaching nuns would always instruct the boys in class to look away, but few ever did. It was as though their need for biological advancement and the exercising of their male curiosity level led them to ignore the instructions of their teachers and suppress their fear of reprisal.
Before she had reached her fourteenth year of life, Mary planned upon getting married as soon as possible after leaving school. Above all else, she wanted investiture of the status of motherhood, and if the prerequisite for such a position in society was one of marriage, then she would happily suffer the consequences by wearing the wedding veil and taking wifely vows.
It mattered not whom she married or who the father of her children would be, so long as he was a good Catholic man who was neither a drunkard, wife beater nor child abuser; and preferably a man who would not make too many sexual demands of her.
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It mattered not whom she married or who the father of her children would be, so long as he was a good Catholic man who was neither a drunkard, wife beater nor child abuser; and preferably a man who would not make too many sexual demands of her.
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All of Mary’s courtship relationships quickly failed because of her innocence in the ways of the world. She was particularly unfortunate being the subject to the teenage law of ‘double jeopardy.’ You see, Mary believed that one could be a good girl and still have a good time in the process; a view that every one of her boyfriends strongly disagreed with! She didn't object to being carried romantically in the arms of a boyfriend, so long as he failed to follow through with his inner desires and didn't carry on beyond the bounds of decency.
Naturally, after a goodly time of familiarity had passed between Mary and her current boyfriend, while she seemed happy to maintain the ‘status quo’, the boyfriend simply wanted to move on and progress their relationship to the next stage. As far as Mary was concerned however, all seemed to be going swimmingly, whereas all her boyfriends would beg to differ!
Naturally, after a goodly time of familiarity had passed between Mary and her current boyfriend, while she seemed happy to maintain the ‘status quo’, the boyfriend simply wanted to move on and progress their relationship to the next stage. As far as Mary was concerned however, all seemed to be going swimmingly, whereas all her boyfriends would beg to differ!
During any courtship period with Mary, not one of her frustrated boyfriends ever managed to get beyond first base with her. You see, Mary had her boundaries of propriety and she stuck to them rigidly. The extent of her commitment to any boyfriend would never exceed that of the holding of hands in private and a peck on the cheek in public.
Having always led a sheltered life, Mary could not possibly know of the expectations of conventional courtship between boy and girl. Until she became a married woman, Mary continued to believe that showing any male what lay beneath her dress, as being undignified and wholly improper.
In truth, Mary much preferred to be in the company of girls than boys and she certainly considered it less troublesome. In her state of worldly ignorance, when it came to the expectations of teenage boys, Mary paid absolutely no regard to the correlation between their persistence for her to reveal all and their overflowing testosterone levels.
Having always led a sheltered life, Mary could not possibly know of the expectations of conventional courtship between boy and girl. Until she became a married woman, Mary continued to believe that showing any male what lay beneath her dress, as being undignified and wholly improper.
In truth, Mary much preferred to be in the company of girls than boys and she certainly considered it less troublesome. In her state of worldly ignorance, when it came to the expectations of teenage boys, Mary paid absolutely no regard to the correlation between their persistence for her to reveal all and their overflowing testosterone levels.
‘You may have been educated by the nuns’ one of her boyfriends who left her after three months with nothing to show for it remarked, ’but there’s no need to behave like a bloody nun! No need to take the vow of chastity!’
Unfortunately, for her string of boyfriends, Mary’s strict moral upbringing and Catholic beliefs led to her holding out at crucial junctures of the courtship game. Mary wanted children above all else, but would never have considered having sex before marriage as a legitimate means of acquiring them. For her, touching tongues while kissing would introduce her to satanic practices of the flesh, and to risk a child being born outside the bonds of marriage would have guaranteed her a place in hell!
In fact, had Mary considered herself as blessed as her namesake was, she would have been more than willing to have an immaculate conception announced to her by the Angel Gabriel!”
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Unfortunately, for her string of boyfriends, Mary’s strict moral upbringing and Catholic beliefs led to her holding out at crucial junctures of the courtship game. Mary wanted children above all else, but would never have considered having sex before marriage as a legitimate means of acquiring them. For her, touching tongues while kissing would introduce her to satanic practices of the flesh, and to risk a child being born outside the bonds of marriage would have guaranteed her a place in hell!
In fact, had Mary considered herself as blessed as her namesake was, she would have been more than willing to have an immaculate conception announced to her by the Angel Gabriel!”
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During her teenage years, Mary’s longing to have a child grew so unbearable that had it not been for the shame attached, she may have succumbed to having sex with her boyfriend, however unpleasant the experience might prove to be.
The only proper way out of her dilemma seemed to be getting married as soon as it was legally permissible, but she knew that to persuade her strict parents to allow her to marry so young would be nigh on impossible, even were she to find herself a suitable husband. After all, she was their eldest daughter and had firmly established herself in the role of a 'mini mother' within the household; the chief protector and mentor to all her younger siblings.
Were she to up sticks and leave the parental abode, her parents would miss her daily contribution to the smooth running of their family network, so much, that it would naturally lead them to prevent her. To them, though mini mother she undoubtedly was, she was still their little girl whom no man was worthy of.
The only proper way out of her dilemma seemed to be getting married as soon as it was legally permissible, but she knew that to persuade her strict parents to allow her to marry so young would be nigh on impossible, even were she to find herself a suitable husband. After all, she was their eldest daughter and had firmly established herself in the role of a 'mini mother' within the household; the chief protector and mentor to all her younger siblings.
Were she to up sticks and leave the parental abode, her parents would miss her daily contribution to the smooth running of their family network, so much, that it would naturally lead them to prevent her. To them, though mini mother she undoubtedly was, she was still their little girl whom no man was worthy of.
