Blog Archives - FordeFables

April 30th, 2015

30/4/2015

"Thought for today:
"When I was a young boy, my mother would say, 'Billy, you may never know what you want to be when you grow up, but whatever you turn out to be, I pray that you be content!' I learned very early on in my life that 'contentment' was the art of getting out of every situation all good that there is in it. Being born the eldest of seven children into a family of materially poor circumstances taught me that the richest person isn't the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

Sometimes when I complained that I didn't have the things that other boys had, my mother would remind me, 'Billy, you have much more. When I die, I will leave you the greatest inheritance of all. You will have the knowledge that I always loved you and the legacy of your six brothers and sisters by your side. There is no greater treasure I can leave you, believe me.' She was so right.

Over the years that followed, my mother's words proved their weight in gold. I learned that when I didn't get everything I wanted, that I could at least be content with the fact that the things I didn't want, I didn't get either; things like depression, despair, destitution or doubt in myself and the future!

The power of positive thinking taught me that nothing is either good or bad in this world that thinking it so, will not make it so! I also learned through positive thinking that I could always get what I wanted out of life once I learned to want what I got!

Finally, teachings from my religion along with teachings ascribed to the Buddha taught me that 'less is more' once I started to appreciate and accept that everything we possess that is not necessary to life or happiness has the potential to become a burden, and that a day rarely passes when we do not add to it. Therein lay the wealth of my inheritance and legacy that my mother left me when she died. She was a woman who often carried an empty purse, but had a heart filled with love and a mind stuffed with Irish wisdom that she gladly shared." William Forde: April 30th, 2015.

April 28th, 2015.

28/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Most of us will go through our lives never truly appreciating how much we have travelled on the backs of others before reaching our final destination. Our parents, family, teachers, employers, neighbours and friends have each, at some stage of our life, been there to help and support us when our need has been greatest and our awareness has been often wanting.

Some of the help we have received will have been 'up front' and we will therefore be aware of having received it. However, there will be far more support and help we have received 'in the background' and benefited from on our path of life that we may never know of.

For example, who helps you the most; the friend who gives or loans you some money when you badly need it, or the friend who hears someone speaking bad of you and defends you in your absence? The mother who chastises you and pulls you over the coals when you do wrong, but cuddles you when you do good, or the mother who believes you can do no wrong and defends your actions to all others whatever you do? Would you prefer a friend who is prepared to tell you the truth even if it hurts you to hear it, or one who pretends, praises and agrees with you, in order to spare your feelings and preserve your good will?

The travelling of life's road is never an easy journey and our passsage is often made much easier by the good intentions and actions of others that we may never learn of." William Forde: April 28th, 2015.

April 27th, 2015.

27/4/2015

Thought for today:
"We go about our busy lives daily, convinced that we are being constantly watched and judged by our neighbours, family and friends. It is our erroneous belief that the eyes of the world are upon us. Take it from me; most of the world couldn't care less what we do and get up to or who with!

We are brought up to worry ourselves greatly by the opinion of others we consider to be our peers and betters. We are overconcerned by what the world thinks about us and how they see us. Do they approve of what I say, do and wear? Do they consider me a valuable contributor to society, a good parent, a decent person, a success in life and someone trustworthy whom they would befriend? Do they like and approve of me? Such questions frequently prey on our minds.

During my life I have come across so many people who have invited daily misery to visit them because they live their lives through 'image' instead of 'reality' in order to satisfy the expectations of others. I have known and worked with so many folk whom, after committing some wrong, felt so ashamed by what others would now think of them that they hid themselves away from public view. I have even come across a few people who chose to kill themselves before face others after an event that 'shamed' them.

I will never forget growing up in the 1950s when poorer folk who risked watching television, listening to the radio or keeping a pet dog 'without a licence', and were subsequently caught, prosecuted and fined five shillings, were always more worried about 'what their neighbours would think' when they read about their transgression in the weekly newspaper. The shame of it; especially as memories were longer in those days and one's self respect and good name seemed to matter more and reach far wider then than it does today.

Those who feel the eyes of the world bearing down on you, allow me to provide some comfort and reassurance. In today's stressful and busy world, people rarely notice the strains and stresses of others as they go about their daily lives. Most folk are blind to your presence and the cruelty and misery that surrounds them.

In those situations where a person has a job, one is invariably working more hours for a lot less money this year than they did last year to be preoccupied with the concerns of others. There is neither time, energy nor inclination to read the local rag when they come home knackered. Then there are those who are unemployed and cannot get a job. This group of 'underclass' live evermore in growing debt they will never repay and in houses they can never afford to rent or buy. The only reading they are likely to do is the pile of bills and final red-letter notices threatening to cut of this supply or that, along with offers to take out a new loan from credit companies that can never be repaid! These folk have enough worries of their own to occupy their time than thinking and talking about yours!

The simple fact is that people today are so preoccupied with their own lives and worries, that most probably neither know nor care about yours. Even if someone tells them of your shame one minute, it will be forgotten by them the next as they refocus upon their busy and stressful lives. The sad irony is that one could probably scream 'murder' or 'rape' or beat their child senseless in the adjacent terrace house, and the most likely response of their neighbour would not be to call the police, but instead, to turn up their television to block out the distraction!

Knock on any door in any street of any town in any country of the world, and rest assured that within, the family who lives there shall have some family skeletons hidden away in their cupboard which 'shames' them in some measure. We all have our fair share of problems that those outside our family rarely know of. So worry not about what the papers might say about you, as today's news is tomorrow's fish and chip paper and today's slanderous tongue will wag about someone else another day!" William Forde: April 27th, 2015.

April 26th, 2015.

26/4/2015

Thought for today:
"There is a path to finding love and redemption that is accessible to all travellers. It essentially involves first 'finding the love of your mother.' Next, your mother's love will help you to 'find self.' Only when you have found 'self,' shall you find the greatest love of all and be able to freely express it. It is only after you have found 'self' and the love within you, shall you truly find 'Nature' and 'God' and be as one with the whole world.

The 'Book of Genesis' describes the creation of all things. It tells us that in the beginning, the Lord God made the heavens and the earth. He gave us the sun for warmth and the moon for light. He filled the earth with seas, land, mountains and sky. He placed all manner of creatures on the land, birds in the air and fish in the sea. Then He placed plant life and vegetation on the earth in abundance.

Finally, He created his most precious thing of all; YOU! You are the living embodiment of God's love and it is through your love, as expressed to one another, that we all find the path to perfect peace.

The Lord God made the earth and after placing it on an axis of love, He set it spinning in perfect motion. It is only through the love of mankind however, as expressed to one another, that the wheel of life keeps turning. Love truly makes the world go round!

When I was young, one of the first things that my mother told me was, 'Billy', love makes the world go round.' In this simple statement, she was revealing to me the essense of 'The Book Of Genesis'. All of her life, Mum certainly made her love go round to her family, neighbiours and everyone she ever met. Sadly she died at the age of 64, twenty nine years ago today. I love you Mum and miss you always. We are offering a Mass in your name this morning at church. Your eldest boy, Billy xxx." : William Forde: April 26th, 2015.

April 25th, 2015.

25/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Before you lay your head down to sleep tonight, make peace with someone with whom you have unfavourable thoughts. That way, not only will you sleep more soundly, but you will be able to hold your head up high tomorrow when you awake to face a new dawn." April 25th, 2015.

April 24th, 2015

24/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Often one hears bandied about, the common assertions of being 'soul mates' with one's partner; the one they love. Being a soul mate, believe me, is far more than one could ever imagine. It implies love, trust, selflessness, shared interests, shared beliefs and common values, along with a depth of affection that leads you to hurt when you are apart and rejoice when you are united in presence once again. More importantly, it is something that can only be experienced between a cloned version of the loving couple and at its heart is 'courage.'

Being 'soul mates' decrees an extent of mutual commitment that is virtually impossible to achieve between any ordinary couple. In effect, it reflects a closeness of bond that is best seen when one compares the traditional English breakfast of bacon and egg at the marriage table of the farmer and his wife.

Imagine this farmyard couple of lovers striving to be 'soul mates' in all they do together.While it is easy to see that both hen and pig each make a valuable contribution to the pleasure of the breakfast eaten at the farmer's table, no one can possible doubt that when it comes to 'commitment,' although the hen's contribution was undoubtedly welcome, it lacked the extent of commitment to the union that the pig was prepared to make! Whereas the chicken was only prepared to offer a lesser part of themselves, the poor pig put his butt on the line!

So unless you are each prepared to 'put your butt on the line' for the one you love, you are not true 'soul mates,' merely two widely different contributors to the marital breakfast table!" William Forde: April 24th, 2015.

April 23rd, 2015.

23/4/2015

Thought for today:
"If ever I've doubted the existence of a God or a higher spiritual being, then gazing at the sheer magnificence of the galaxy has always been enough to dispel any question in my mind that such exists. All earthly reason and logic ends beyond the earth's atmosphere, for that is the place where exists the creator of the universe and the sorcerer of all cosmic energy and milky-way magic. That is the place where all birth dwells and possibility begins and ends." William Forde: April 23rd, 2015.

April 22nd, 2015.

23/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Whom among us can doubt the inexorable truth that the love in one person feeds the love in another?" William Forde: April 22nd, 2015.

April 21st, 2015.

21/4/2015

Thought for today:
"I have always believed that marriage lasts longer and runs more smoothly when the couple have shared interests, but also have interests of their own to pursue. I believe that it is heallthy for the growth of marriage when women and men can have their own time out occasionally. Who knows what women talk with other women about when the lads aren't around to hear them. Who cares, apart from other women telling old wive's tales?

On your bike man, before you run out of road and hang yourself!" William Forde: April 21st, 2015.

April 20th, 2015.

20/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Today is my eldest son James' 41st birthday. James, wife Eisa and grandchildren Jessica and Sam live in France and though our contact be infrequent, they are always in my prayers and are never far from my thoughts. James is one of those people who can literally go months verging on a year without making contact. I cannot say this is a trait of which I approve, nor is one that the rest of the extensive Forde family displays or endorses. Being adult however, it is one that I have reluctantly grown to accept since me and his mother were divorced thirty four years ago. It is, I'm afraid, sadly the price that a parent sometimes pays for a marital breakup. Happy birthday, son. I love you. Dad x

If you are wise, you will move as close as you can to your friends and family as soon as you can in your life and remain close ever after, for the time will surely come when you'll be thankful for their presence in your life and the grace that flows from knowing they are and will always be there for you during moments of need.

Friends and family anchor you to their moral moorings and remind you when you stray from the path you were born to walk. They will not reprimand you for honest mistakes made nor reject you for human weakness borne out of compassion and concern for another. However, they will willingly share your pain and struggle and rejoice in your gladness, for the very feelings that govern their emotional output governs yours also. You share the same pulse of life and your blood flows through veins that form the same rivers of respect." William Forde: April 20th, 2015.

April 19th, 2015.

19/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Oh days of youthful promise when the world seemed so big a place to travel and problems seemed so small a consideration to warrant a single worry beyond the birth of their expression. Oh to be born at a time when a man's word was his bond and a woman's nightly conquests her own business.

This was a time when the word of one's expressed intent proved sufficient to satisfy any debtor that their bill would be paid and large business transactions would be settled by traders with the shake of a hand and a spittled palm. It was a time when the worth of every man or woman was determined by 'honour;' when a true gentleman would be prepared to fight a duel to preserve his while a rightous woman wanting to settle down and seek the security of lasting love, family and marriage was not inclined to lose hers.

Shall we ever see such times again? I think not. We are far more likely to capture a butterfly angel asleep in a teacup on a sunny afternoon in Manchester!" William Forde: April 19th, 2015.

April 18th, 2015.

19/4/2015

Thought for today:
"While we display the desire to walk and possess the ability to still do so, we must leave our armchairs empty and demonstrate the positive attitude of 'Can do, will do!' It is only through such perserverence that we shall endure life to its best.

Today, Sheila and I are up in Cumbria at the wedding of Debbie and Alan. Debbie is the daughter of Richard who is my sister Mary's partner. Part of the day will include being conveyed to the reception by the Ravenglass Steam Railway. I expect it to be a very emotional day and will be extremely disappointed if the wedding cake is not in tiers also.

We wish the couple all the happiness in the world and it is our fervent hope that their 'Can do, will do' attitude towards life will carry Debbie and Alan forward together in love and strength into old age. May you always love each other with the love you share today and with the passing of each dawn remain happy to still be part of each other lives." William Forde: April 18th, 2015.

April 17th, 2015.

18/4/2015

Thought for today:

'The Yoga of a Muted Mutt' by William Forde: Copyright April, 2015.

"Stay still my thoughts of rags and bones, of sticks and walks and trees of bitches smell.
Hold fast that taste of juicy meat, and pats of love along brushed coat when next we meet.
Why does thou tempt me with earth's pleasures, when I try to cut all off.
I am but mere terrier with canine's cross to bear; a simple hound, more smooth than rough.
I cannot mind two things at once nor stray from single thought,
Begone distractions, take thy leave, this mutt needs peace not quiet distraught."
William Forde: April 17th, 2015.

April 16th, 2015.

16/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Given the perilous state of the global economy, one would be forgiven for believing that we are once more living in Titanic times when we are all in the boat together and that we are doomed to either sink or swim. Even when space is at a premium, providing we are willing to share out lot in life, we can always find room for just one more.

This thought takes one back one century to that fatal last day of the sinking Titanic on April 15th, 1912 when 1,517 passengers drowned in the ice cold waters of the North Atlantic Ocean, due largely to the shortage of life boats. From the 706 survivors, the very last to die was 97 year old Millvina Dean in May, 2006. Millvina was placed in a sack at the age of a mere nine weeks before being passed down to a overcrowded life boat along with her mother and brother. Her father was one of those passengers for whom there was insufficient room and who sadly went down with the ship.

Getting back to today's sinking of the economy; I'd like to believe that we are all in the ship together, but as happened one hundred years ago, I'm willing to bet there will only be life boats for the few and most privileged and that most of the passengers in third steerage will be abandoned to a watery grave by all Governments of the day, whatever their make up!

There is only one certainty that can be drawn from our current economic crisis and that is this: the captain will not be going down with his ship as he once did. In our modern world of global finance, private captains of industry 'gone bust' through their incompetence and greed, along with the political captains of the country's debts are destined to cruise on calmer seas while they watch the rest of us poor sods drowned beneath the waves of political promises and banker's corruption!" William Forde: April 16th, 2015.

April 15th, 2015.

16/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Today I go into hospital again for my regular fortnightly blood transfusion. While this practice undoubtedly keeps my body's vital organs functioning by increasing the oxygen level in my blood (or whoever's blood I happen to have at the time), I know that without something else that is crucially important in my life, I would have passed over to the other side of the green sod many years ago.

Often, many people ask me how I can be so accepting of my terminal illness. I am aware that they frequently see me as being stoic in my plight, but the truth, I have to say, has invariably less to say about me and more to do with my beliefs.

In my life to date, I have faced the medical prognosis of an earlier death on four separate occasions since the age of eleven years (A traffic accident at 11 years, cancer at the age of 39 years, two heart attacks within the space of one week at the age of 59 years, plus my terminal diagnosis of Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia at the age of 70 years). On the first three occasions, my continued life defied medical explanation and even during the course of my current condition, I have had to fend off pneumonia without an effective immune system or being able to derive benefit from the ineffective antibiotics I was given in forlorn hope.

There is simply no way that any amount of personal strength held, positive thinking employed, degree of pain threshold established or indeed any philosophy known to mankind, which can on its own, account for me still being here; with the exception of one, my belief system.

As a professional worker for over forty years, I have seen the power of one belief system other that of another in acquiring happiness, contentment and good health as opposed to their opposites. There is however only one power in my own belief system that is capable of governing the timing of life and death, and I'm not referring to 'Good Old Destiny'.

When one truly believes, all burdens in life become easier to bear and all journeys become easier to travel. It is as though the world may see us walk through the sand and though there be just one set of footprints left behind us, we are effectively being carried through our struggles by our belief in an invisible force of goodness who becomes our true source of sustenance and destiny." William Forde: April

April 14th, 2015

14/4/2015

Thought for today:
"When my children William and Rebecca were young and hadn't yet started first school, a lovely lady in her seventies called Mary Milner would pass our house daily on her way to the bakers at the top of the road. Each day my two children would wave to Mary as she passed by and await her return; knowing full well that she would always have a bun or a biscuit for them, or some other confectionary treat.

Mary had been been widowed for around fifteen years then. By the time my children had been at school five years, Mary's mobility had left her and she became effectively housebound. Her only child, a son, lived over eighty miles away and visited her on occasional weekends whenever he could manage. Now, when my children passed her house on their way back from school, Mary would be sitting by the window. The wheel of life had turned full circle and it was now her turn to wait for them to pass by and wave to them daily.

For the next seven years before Mary Milner sadly died, I visited her daily with William and Rebecca and we brought her her daily buns and biscuits and other confectionary treats. I also tended her garden in the last seven years of her life. One day Mary introduced me to her one and only lifelong friend, a spinster in her early eighties called Miss Henretta Denton. Over the next fourteen years, Henreitta and I were to become like mother and son; a role that each of us were happy enough to fall into after my mother died.

From a few small acts of kindness shown to two young children, two beautiful adults were introduced into my life and also into the lives of my children. They each became extended family members and remained in our daily lives until the day they died.

For the elderly and unsure of foot who now live alone and have no visitors from one day to the next, one can understand why they often find it easier to stay indoors, even when good weather beckons them outside.

Do not at any age, be content to take a seat by the window and wave to the world as it passes you by. Do not sit quietly in a corner by the fireside or surrender yourself to senility and sleep away your remaining time when there is so much that can occupy and bring you pleasure, like listening to music, the radio, reading a book, tending to a house plant, talking to a household visitor or watching a television programme. Keep your curiosity alive and never stop stirring it. Don't be afraid to ask for either company or help if you need it. The fatal thing is to turn your back on life and to let life pass you by as you look at it from the solitude of your window seat. If you still have the legs, get yourself out for a little walk and get back into the practice of saying 'Hello' with your mouth instead of a wave of your hand through cold glass.

My 86 year old mother-in-law, Elizabeth, who is in the early stages of dementia and lives in a nearby nursing home also has her window seat where she observes the birds and wind in the large tree outside. My wife Sheila visits her daily and does everything possible to keep her brain active and her life as meaningful as it can be. Being riddled with arthrithis now and only able to move at a snail's pace with the aid of a walking frame, each day, whatever the weather, she looks forward to her daily walk of a few hundred meters outside the home. She loves to feel both sun and breeze on her face and the older she grows, the more she appreciates Nature and all the beauty it has to offer the observant participant. Mother Elizabeth still loves listening to classical music, talking about the old days in Hong Kong and eating her daily treat of chocolate. Her favourite trick of all however, is never to be seen without a huge smile on her face, something that ensures her neverending popularity with the nursing staff and other residents. God bless you Mary Milner and Henrietta Denton who now occupy a perfect window seat from high above. Love you Mum Elizabeth." William Forde: April 14th, 2015.

April 13th, 2015

13/4/2015

Thought for today:
"When we grow up things will be much better with our world, Goosey. Cruelty and unnecessary pain will be things of the past and all human life will be afforded respect and consideration.

The old person will both live and die in their home once more with family around to puff up their pillow and their pride and to ask their advice. The young boy and girl will have new role models upon which to fashion themselves; their fathers and mothers. The newly wed will face their differences with a determination to resolve the problem together instead of drifting apart after the first experience of marital waves and choppy water.

Children who fall and graze their knee in playful pursuit will be healed by the magic rub of parental love and reassurance instead of the promise of some new outing and Big Mac treat. We will have a better world where dogs no longer chase cats, cats refuse to chase mice or parrots need to repeat themselves each time they speak because their owners rarely listen and attend to their needs.

Oh.....and you might even get to like Christmas once more, Goosie, once you cease to be the main seasonal attraction! I can't wait to grow up. Until then, let's play hide and seek. Goosie, Goosie Gander, where shall I wander........." William Forde: April 13th, 2015.

April 12th, 2015

12/4/2015

Thought for today:
"When you're a member of a large family, there is always a birthday to celebrate. Yesterday was my youngest sister Susan's birthday and today is my brother Patrick's birthday (LHS of photo). Being positioned in a much loftier position of the family hierarchy and closer to me (the oldest Billy goat in the herd), Patrick was more likely to receive my hand-me-downs whereas the only thing handed down to Susan was 'Memories of the way we were' when she hadn't yet been born.

Patrick was born the middle of seven siblings and grew up for most of his life with his younger brother Peter by his side; often sharing my 'hand me downs' in both clothes and toys, as was the manner of the times.

I will never forget the tricycle that I passed down to him when the time arrived for him to have his own wheels. When I handed it over to Patrick, it was in pristeen condition and I gave him strict instructions to look after it as his brother Peter was next in line for it after he'd outgrown it.

But Patrick being Patrick drove it over hill and dale and sadly neglected its upkeep. When the time came for him to pass the tricycle down the line to the next recipient and custodian, it was simply unrecognisable to the immaculate tricyle I'd passed to him in trust. By the time he'd passed it onto his brother Peter, he'd allowed it to rust by leaving it outdoors in all weather and it also had a badly buckled front wheel. He was just never any good at looking after anything in the family's treasure chest. Indeed, I'd go so far as to say that had the family fortune been left in his hands, we'd all be beggars today; as buckled and broken as that old tricycle!

Have a happy birthday brother Patrick. I love you, but I wish you'd have taken better care of the family treasure. Big brother Billy x" William Forde: April 12th, 2015.

April 11th, 2015

11/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Today is my sister Susan's birthday. Susan is the youngest of my siblings in a family of seven children and yet, despite having been born at different times and being fourteen years apart from me, we have grown closer each year since our parents died.

And yet, it wasn't always thus. Our family of seven children grew up at different stages of my parents' marriage. Me and sisters Mary and Eileen grew up together and even shared the same bed until I was ten years old. Then my brothers Patrick and Peter seemed to form the next phase of the family heirarchy. Then Michael and sister Susan brought up the rear end.

I recall us once reminiscing about the nature of our upbringing and had you been a stranger eavesdropping, you might have thought we'd been born into different households and brought up by different parents. That was because in some ways we were. You see, being born at different times in our parents' marriage did bring with it widely different experiences for each of us as we grew up.

The first three children were born during the years when my parents' love for each other was at its highest, and as such, we grew up in happier times of their marital union. The youngest two children were born however, when my parents' marriage had well passed its 'sell by date' and many of the memories of the two youngest children as they grew up would involve hearing more family rows in the space of one year than the three eldest siblings had heard in twenty.

It is only since my parents died that the entire seven siblings have got closer and closer in family unity. I am the eldest and Susan is the youngest, but today is her birthday and that makes her the most important of all family members of 'The Magnificent Seven.' She is an Area Manager in Social Work and is a loving mother and grandma. I love you Susan. Have a super birthday. Love from your big brother, Billy x" William Forde: April 11th, 2015.

April 10th, 2015.

10/4/2015

Thought for today:
"You cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do any more than you can claim success by what you nearly did. Whereas, one needs the knowledge how to get things done, only steadfast determination and action will bring about eventual achievement. Determination will never be found in dependency upon others or in the back streets of where you fear to tread.

So don't wait for a shaft of light to appear at the end of your dark tunnel before you move forward with your life. Just open your eyes, broaden your mind, widen your horizon, embrace all possibilties then, stride down there purposefully and light the thing yourself!" William Forde: April 10th, 2015.

April 9th, 2015.

9/4/2015

Thought for today:
'Moon over Poppy Field' by William Forde: Copyright William Forde, April, 2015.

(A tribute to the memory of fallen soldiers)

"Moon over poppy field and rugged hills, hide not thy beauty beneath a blushing gaze of coy majesty. Shield not thy face from those who boldly show theirs to the night-time sky, for we are much more than mere carriers of poppy seed and opiate to the masses. We represent the salute of soldiers, the colour of courage and the dawn of a new day." William Forde : April 9th, 2015.

April 8th, 2015.

8/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Now, that's what I call the smell of summer. Isn't life fair grand when the sun is out and so are you and the world around you is at play? Is there any flower that lights up the heart of the meadows and fields more than the common white daisy can? I feel so good today, so alive and full of beans. I feel like rolling around in the grass and cocking a snoot." William Forde: April 8th, 2015.

April 7th, 2015.

7/4/2015

Thought for today:
"I have always had a sneaky admiration for anyone who is able to meet life head on in all its unpredictable circumstances, and when the occasion warrants it, ' Stick their tongue out at life.'

My late friend, the author Stan Barstow, once told me over a meal that he became much more relaxed in himself once he learned to see the funnier side of life's daily problems. His advice was 'not to be too damn serious because life is too short to be constrained by civility and good manners.'

During the many hundreds of 'Anger Management and Assertive Training Groups' I operated in Probation Offices, hostels, hospitals, psychiatric wards, prisons, community halls and educational establishments between 1970 and 2,000, I always began session one of my programmes by asking each member of the group to look into the face of the person on each side of them and to pull their funniest face they could and stick out their tongue. It was surprising how many group members would initially prove unable to perform this simple task due to embarrassment etc.

Upon their inability to comply with my request, my next statement to the group would be,' The changes in your life and in your behaviour pattern cannot be achieved unless you do this. Until you are able to stick a tongue out at life, you will never possess the courage to face it or acquire the skill and capacity to change it. So unless you can stick out your tongue and pull a funny face in the next few minutes please leave the group now because I won't be able to help you bring about the changes in your behavior that you desire.'

With the exception of a handful of people I had to ask to leave over a thirty-year time span, over one thousand group members stuck out their tongues.It really is therapeutic, believe me!" William Forde: April 7th, 2015.

April 6th, 2015.

6/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Since I was diagnosed with a terminal illness two years ago, I have had to readjust my life significantly in ways I could not have imagined at the time. One example is that my condition and treatment has confined me to the house for long periods. For example, it has been one year since me and Sheila have had a full day out together. Such changes in my life has been assisted greatly by being able to look at what I have in more positive ways, and for that I can thank a Scottish Psychoanalyst called R.D. Laing.

Many years ago when I used to operate a large hydraulic machine called a wuzzer in a dyehouse, when one came to open the machine the handle frequently stuck fast. I soon learned that if you banged the handle hard one way and it didn't open, the trick was to bang it hard the other way and then again the proper way. This method always seemed to release the blockage. Thereafter, I learned to look at the problems and situations I encountered in life differently to more conventional folk. I suppose one could say, I learned to look at things from different angles. This approach helped me enormously to counsel people with problems as a Probation Officer and Group Worker.

Over the years I was to meet many people, who may have looked at the same thing at the same time, yet always managed to see things differently to each other; very much as the optimist and the pessimist are prone to do.

Then one day, I saw a television interview about a Britiish Psychoanalyst who fascinated me and this interview led me to read countless numbers of his books. This man was the most 'unconventional' psychiatrist of his time and was often associated with the 'anti-psychiatric movement.' Too frequently he would drink copious amounts of alcohol despite the brilliance of his mind and the breadth of his psychological vision. His name was R.D. Laing and though he lived only sixty two years, his contribution to the psychoanalysts who followed him was immense.

He was responsible for a method he called, 'Reframing.' This method was simply a way of looking at situations and problems in a less conventional way in order to resolve them easier. If for example he was interviewing a mad man who believed that he was Richard the Third, was dressed like Richard the Third and acted like Richard the Third, then R.D.Laing would act as though he was in the presence of Richard the Third in order to positively converse with his patient. He once arrived to interview one patient and during their conversation he noticed that the patient sat next to a spare chair and frequently turned towards it during conversation. When Laing inquired what was the purpose of the spare chair, he was told that it was occupied by the patient's best friend who was invisible to everyone except herself Laing therefore presumed that it was for the patient's imaginary friend. Laing naturally included the spirit of the invisible third party in their subsequent conversation as that was the only way it seemed to flow naturally.

During the 70s and 80s for reasons I know not, people were often brought to court for the crime of beastiality. Laing always held the view that nothing was ever gained by sending a man to prison who had sex with pig or a horse unless the animal objected or could be shown to have been harmed by the experience.

A woman once approached him with her problem of not being able to sleep all night. She told him that her problem was that she would stay awake all night and fill in her time baking and doing other jobs while the rest of the city slept soundly. Then, when the city awoke the next morning she would sleep for the rest of the day until late evening. After hearing her stated problem, instead of sympathising with her situation as most psychiatrists would have done, Laing 'reframed' it and remarked, 'What a wonderful gift you have. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to work like you throughout the night without the interruptions and the interference of other humans for a straight eight hours. Just think how much I could do?' His patient reportedly went away happy with her special gift.

The next time you happen to find yourself stuck, try 'reframing' the situation and you may be pleasantly surprised what you come up with, but whatever you do, please leave the pigs and the horses to their own kind! As for me and Sheila, we are spending the full day out together in Knaresborough as the sun is shining. We plan a row on the river, provided that Sheila does the rowing. Happy Easter Monday everyone." William Forde: April 6th, 2015.

April 5th, 2015

5/4/2015

Thought for today:
"Whereas spring may bring forth the unbridled passion of young lovers, it takes a summer to truly understand those romantic feelings, an autumn to feel comfortable with them and a winter to adapt to them; knowing that they will be ressurected in full ardour amid the warmth of spring once more.

Should ever you feel the loss of love you once shared, return to the field of your dreams and remember what it was you once dreamt there and why. It is only in this way can you best hope to recapture those magic feelings of unfettered romance and faith in the future.

Today is Easter Sunday and for all Christians it is their most holy of feast days in the church calender. I love the Easter Sunday service at church and all that it stands for. Easter represents the rebirth of all manner of life in the season of love, so for today, love one another a bit more than you might otherwise have done so and feel the power within that is reborn simply by making another persons's day more special. A very happy Easter to all my family and friends and thank you all for your support and constant encouragement over the past year." William Forde: April 5th, 2015.