Blog Archives - FordeFables

January 31st, 2015.

31/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Being the richest man in the cemetery and occupying the biggest plot wouldn't mean anything to me and those I leave behind. What matters more to them when I am dead is knowing that I did something with my life when I lived, and knowing that every now and then I made someone's day a bit happier and their life more meaningful.

Knowing that you have integrity matters, for if you have it, nothing else matters; and if you don't, nothing else matters! Everything else is just sprinkles on your cappuccino. Knowing that there are times to 'accept' and times to 'resist' matters to the preservation of emotional energy, as well as knowing that the only 'good fight' is when you fight for something other than your own emotions and self interest.

Learning early on in life that worry is a negative and wasteful form of energy that can only exist within currents of 'might-have-been dreams, will save you much heartache and hurt. Rivers of remorse can but overflow with ripples of regret and can never find the channel to happiness and contentment. While worry will never stop it raining tomorrow, it can keep one from feeling sunny today. Acquiring the approval of others is often made to matter too much in the satisfaction stakes of self-acceptance. At worst, this activity has the potential to denigrate truth and at at best it depletes our honest intent. It will always matters that people feel they can love and be loved in return. Know however, that their love for you will be more enduring when it is given, not for who you are, but how you make them feel.

It also matters that opposites can both attract and repel, if wider humanity and greater diversity is to be preserved. To be human infers that one is constantly in the grip of opposing emotions and is obliged daily to reconcile apparently conflicting tensions.

One is never too young to teach, too old to learn, too insensitive to care, too poor to give, too incapacitated to help, too ignorant to understand, too distant to feel, too deaf to hear, too blind to see or too insignificant to matter. However great or small the world seeks to make us, we all matter!

When all the water has been drained from the cooking pot, it is the substance that is left what matters most. You matter. I matter. We matter! Nature matters! Nuture matters! God matters! Every rabbit needs a hole, every person needs a home and every creature needs a hug." William Forde: January 31st, 2015.

January 30th, 2015.

30/1/2015

Thought for today:
"The 18th century, English lexicographer, critic and essayist, Dr. Samuel Johnson used to tell his readers that 'The love of life was a prerequisite to the vigorous prosecution of any undertaking.' My late father used to say, 'If you do anything, son, always do it well or not at all and you will feel much better for it.'

I know for a fact that my dad who left school and started work at the age of 13 years in County Kilkenny, Ireland never did read Johnson and I doubt he even heard of the man, but it just goes to show that it doesn't take the wit of a scholar or the language of a wordsmith to say something plainly and say it well. It was as if he inwardly knew that simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication and that there was no point in using big words for small matters which could be plainly spoken.

My father was a modest man of quiet demenour who believed that in conversation, most folk could be better entertained by listening to them. I suppose that he discovered early on in his life that even a fish wouldn't show itself up if it kept its mouth shut. One of the few sayings I can recall is when he said,' Don't ever argue with a fool, son, and if you do, then make sure that they aren't doing the same thing as you!'

At the age of 11 years, I was a very good footballer who was in the adult team at 'St. Patrick's Roman Catholic School' in Heckmondwike, playing alongside boys who were three and four years older than me. To me, I was one of the most aspiring footballers on the planet who was soon to find himself in great demand by the professional clubs across the land. (Little did I know at the time, that six months later while playing football on the Third Avenue of Windybank Estate where I lived, I'd be run over by a large wagon, unable to walk for three years and never play football again).

Being the eldest of seven children from a materially poor family, we couldn't afford to buy the new green and white team shirt when it was offered for sale by the school for the price of two pounds and ten shillings. As I went out the door that morning, dad called me back and said,' Put this on son. It is green and white and although big, it is better than that black t-shirt you've got to wear.' That was the very first time I learned that in his early twenties, my father had played professional football for the county of Kilkenny where he was born as well as having played for the Irish National football squad and even captained it on a couple of occasions.

Although the shirt he had given me stretched all the way down past my knees, I was never as proud as I was that day to have played in my father's shirt in which he played for Ireland in. In the words of Aesop, 'When all is said and done, more is said than done!' and through his simple action, my father made me the happiest boy in the school football team that day and the proudest of sons. God bless you, Dad, I love you." William Forde: January 30th, 2015.

January 29th, 2015.

29/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Youth is never wasted on the young. While in many ways they tend to see things in simple black and white terms, it is only once they discover the many colours of the rainbow world they live in that they come into their own.

They only need to see a colour once before they feel it in their bones. Children nearly always prefer to say it in colour whenever provided with the opportunity. Their first form of expression is in crayons and coloured paints and plastercine. Then they dress in colour to suit their mood and personality and finally, they finish up speaking in colour.

Paradoxically, because of the difficulty they experience today in finding a job upon leaving school or university; of rarely being able to find the deposit to buy their own house or establish the financial means to leave home and set up in their own rented flat, the youth of the New Millenium often find their lives unexciting to look forward to. Hence their language invariably becomes as 'colourful' as it is ever likely to get as they explain their desperately drab situations to others.

However hard being young may be, prefer it always to attaining old age and seasoned wisdom. The most important thing to remember is never to leave your youth behind, however old you get. Never become too old or too tired with life to jump in puddles for no other reason than the sheer fun of doing so. It may get you wet, but it can bring you fun. We stay young in heart so long as we remember that youth is not a time of life, but rather a state of being. It is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips, countless freckles, supple knees and enough breath to raise a hot air balloon, but is more a quality of imagination that can take your body to new places and your mind to the twin towers of excitement and adventure.

Hold fast to your youth for it will sneak away as soon as you forget it, and never abandon it to the ravages of old age and rocking-chair contentment." William Forde: January 29th, 2015.

January 28th, 2015.

28/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Isn't it marvellous that given all of the beautiful and exotic flowers there are in the world to choose from, it is our most common species that are chosen to express our love between the years of child and adult. Flowers are words of love that even a child understands. To the child, the earth laughs in flowers. From the earliest of ages they pick flowers from the hedgerows and the fields for their mothers and no fair flower is ever left standing along the wayside long.

The first attraction all children find within the floral world is with the small white flowers that can be found in common grass, wild fields and meadowland in abundandance and which are fashioned into daisy chains with tiny hands of love. Such is often the very first gift of nature that is made by the fingers of a fascinated child and which is given to a loving mum. The best lesson that all children learn first is to give their mother flowers when she is able to smell them and not when she is dead. It is as if they can sense that every flower is but a soul blossoming in nature; a thing that smells far sweeter in its fragrance than when it is pressed between the pages of recollection.

The fashioning of daisy chains during early childhood is sequentially followed with the discovery of the buttercup that is placed beneath the chin to reflect one's character. Then in our years of growing passion, the dandelion becomes the determinant of all deciders to measure the likeihood that exists in the heart of another; 'He loves me...he loves me not....He loves me..........he loves me not......' It is as if it has taken half a lifetime to understand that just as a butterfly is a flying flower, the faded dandelion that blows in the breeze is nought but a tethered butterfly.

Then last, but not least, we should not forget the bloom that is probably the world's favourite and which is given in the most tender of moments to the ones we love; my mother's favourite, the red rose. Whereas a grown man seeking to impress his love may shower her in profusion, every smart child knows that one red rose says more than a dozen could ever say.

Being the world's greatest lover of the red rose my late mother frequently waxed lyrical about them. She would often quote a once-read phrase, 'A single rose can be my garden.....and a single friend my world,' but the saying I heard her tell me most was, 'Fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.'

Ah... how the simplicity of the common flowers shape our character and determine our fate." William Forde: January 28th, 2015.

January 27th, 2015.

27/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Never in my wildest imagination could I believe that I would ever see colour so resplendent in the branches of a tree or in any corner of the world..........that was until I saw two children merrily at play and who were wholly oblivious in their blind innocence of the discrimination of the civilised world and the dislike of certain colours within the human spectrum of bigotry." William Forde: January 27th, 2015.

January 26th, 2015.

26/1/2015

Thought for today:
"The young are always threathening to leave home as soon as they realise that there is a great big world out there beyond the garden wall where the grass will be greener. Young or old however, when we run away, we are usually running away from self and consequences.

I remember the first time I left home. I was five years old and had decided that three days at first school was long enough for me and that life was too short to be stuck in a stuffy classroom from 9am to 3pm. I managed to travel about three miles before some interferring adult turned me into the police. I was seven years old when I next packed my case and took off for the hills. I found running away to be easy, but it was not knowing what to do next that usually brought me home. I sneaked back upstairs and unpacked in the hope that my mother hadn't noticed me gone.

Paradoxically, the more I think about it, the more I realise that 'running away' is a kind of 'unhealthy stillness' and that it represents an unwillingness to move on with one's life.

In fact, it could be argued that writing is a form of 'running away' from the realities of life, and perhaps it is. Perhaps all authors are little more than experiential burglars; petty thieves with vivid imaginations who are unable to write more than half a dozen lines before starting to make things up.

As my dear mother used to tell me when I was a child, 'Billy, home is where the heart is. Your home resides in you and like a tortoise, you take it with you wherever you go. You can never run away from home because you can never run away from yourself.'" William Forde: January 26th, 2015.

January 25th, 2015.

25/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Abraham Lincoln, former President of the USA, was if nothing else, a man who remained true to himself. At the very start of his Presidency he told the people that he desired to conduct the affairs of his administration in such a manner that if at the end of it when he came to lay down the reins of power, even if he'd lost every friend on earth he'd ever had, he would be content in the knowledge that deep down inside, he would at least have one friend left; himself.

This expression by Lincoln brought to mind a saying that my mother frequently espoused amidst her pearls of wisdom when she would often remind me, 'Whoever you fall out with Billy, never fall out with yourself. That way you'll always have someone to fall back on who's dependable!'

Mum was born on this day, the 25th of January, 1922 although throughout her life she frequently told us that it was the 24th of January which was on her birth certificate. It is my guess that nothing suspicious lay behind this mystery; merely the desire to have two birthdays! She died at the early age of 64 years on the 26th April, 1986 at peace with her Maker, family, friends and with herself. God bless you Mum."William Forde: January 25th, 2015.

January 23rd, 2015.

23/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Once I feared horses until I learned to ride. Then I found out that I was born in the Chinese year of the horse. I have feared many things in my life, but fortunately, I have been able to face my fears and eventually conquer them.

Having worked with countless people with high fear levels for over forty years that have led to immobilisation of their actions, I can tell you unequivocally that if you continue to do the thing you fear, the eventual death of that fear is certain to occur. First, it is natural and healthy to have some fear of many things, but is most unhealthy and unhelpful to have too much fear of anything!

It is healthy and purposeful to have 'rational' fears and potentially unhealthy and non-productive to hold 'irrational' fears. A 'rational' fear might involve getting run down by a passing car if one crosses a busy road in rush hour traffic without exercising care whilst an 'irrational' fear could be getting killed by a lion when one is never likely to be in the presence of one.

It is unhealthy however, to allow either rational or irrational fears to immobilise you. All problem fears are invariably 'irrational fears.' It often requires courage to face one's fear, but only through facing fear can fear be mastered and brought under control. It takes true courage to face one's fears and not repress them, but it takes control to be able to manage and master them.

Each time a fear is faced, its impact on you is lessened. Each time a fear is avoided, the fear level is increased. There is but one road towards conquering one's fear level and that is to recognise it, face it, learn to manage it and thereby dispel it from all serious consideration.

The most effective fear reduction method I have ever encountered is one that depends upon the trainee being familiar with the discipline of relaxation training. The method is called, 'Systematic Desensitisation' and it involves approaching one's fear in a step-by-step manner, first by learning to vividly imagine yourself doing it while in a state of 'relaxation' and then actually doing it in the outside world to reinforce the experience in one's memory bank. As far as body function is concerned, the brain is unable to distinguish between the 'real' and the 'imagined'; 'the inner and outer body experience.'

It is the presence and the degree of fear that matters and not whether it be from an inner or outer body experience. It is its excessive degree which takes it beyond one's immediate control and effectively immobilises and freezes one's actions. Hence the need to approach the problem by the twin means of imagination techniques and practical ones." William Forde: January 23rd, 2015.

January 22nd, 2015.

22/1/2015

Thought for today:
"I know that you shouldn't take sweets from strangers or let them kiss you, but just this once make an exception and put it there Buster!" William Forde January 22nd, 2015.

January 21st, 2015.

21/1/2015

Thought for today:
"Thoughout our lives we will find ourselves faced with dilemmas and embarassing problems and how we respond to our predicament will indicate the nature of the person we are and the one we will become.

The nature of our dilemma can either be practical or moral. For my part, I rarely let any practical decision in my life clutter my youthful dreams because I know that once I let go of the child in me, I will lose the man. No, the answer to most of life's dilemmas is invariably closer than you think. When you are in a fix, you could do much worse than rely upon your past experience, as I usually find that if you trust your own good judgement, you will usually find that the fix is in you.

Often I feel that life is made up of moral dilemmas that have been placed before us to test our values and absorb our minds. As growing children, we quickly learn that we have options on every step of life's journey and if we wish to get what we want out of life, we will need to make the correct choice at the right time.

Hence; making the correct choice assumes greater importance if we wish to avoid a hard landing. Everyone understands that it is impossible to make an omelet without cracking eggs. Why then is it harder to see that there is no gain without some pain in this life and and that what we most want, we will have to work for.

If you seek fun along with a free spirit however, never let go of the child in you. It is the child in us that is a constant reminder that jumping in puddles for the sheer hell of it can be magic and result in you getting more fun, more often out of life.

Oten when we are too adult, we seem to throw all of our learning overboard at a stage in our life and years of maturity when we ought to know better. Will we never learn to always hold something back in reserve and that we need to exercise some discretion in order to maintain a necessary level of decency in our person instead of revealing all at the first opportunity?

Nobody enters life's wash house without carrying some dirty laundry in their basket. Hence, all the more reason not to wash it in full view of public gaze. When we chose to wash our dirty laundry in public (and especially on the social media) whatever our motives happen to be, it will invariably prove to have been the wrong choice and we will never emerge from the process without some degree of embarassment exposing us for the fools we are!" William Forde: January 21st, 2015.