Blog Archives - FordeFables

March 30th,2014

30/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Today on Mothering Sunday, me and Sheila give thanks to two great women in our lives. While both came from different hemispheres of the world and enjoyed a much different lifestyle as they brought up their children, each woman possessed a tenacity of spirit and a determination that is rare.

While my mother died at the early age of 64 years, Sheila's mum who livesi in a nearby home is still going strong at the age of 85 years. Indeed;from all of the residents there, she is the only one who attempts to go out for a daily walk and greatly misses this exercise when the weather doesn't allow.

The one other thing that both mothers shared was their constant smiles. Whatever difficulty they faced when life gave them a knock, they simply got up like all the rest of their generation and started again. God bless you Mothers Elizabeth and Maureen. We love you. xx" William and Sheila Forde: March 30th, 2014.ought for today:
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March 29th, 2014.

29/3/2014

Thought for today:
"I attended the rock and roll birthday party of my friend Diane last night. It was a lovely evening and me and Sheila were very happy to see all our other friends from St Mary's there as we hadn't seen them for four months.

Thank you all for your love, support and words of encouragement. The extent of your welcome overwhelmed me. Being a perfect gentleman and with her having lived on this earth for half a century, I couldn't possible reveal Diane's age, but suffice it to say, she has always looked younger than her years. I suspect that it's her love of all things retro from the 50's and 60's which keeps her looking the part.

I love all of this retro stuff from the 1960's that one sees hanging around street corners these days. Say what you like, but they just don't make things today like they once used to. I've never lost my taste for those classy lines of the 1960's models. Present the correct amount of money (a mere tuppence would suffice), and you could chat away to your love mate for a full three minutes before you were bleeped off. No wonder that we chaps learned to say all there was to say in three minutes flat in our chat-up lines. We'd have no difficulty 'speed dating' today. 'Will you? Won't you? Do you? Don't you?' and we'd still have talk time to spare. Those were the days." William Forde: March 29th, 2014.

March 28th, 2014.

28/3/2014

Thought for today:
"I have always greatly admired the sheer grit and sense of comradery and community spirit that existed in England throughout 'The Second World War,' and wonder where it all went to since then.

At a significant time in world history, this small country stood alone against the threat posed by Adolf Hitler to rule and control every country in the whole of Europe. This small country was great enough then to conquer the European tyrant and in my view it remains great enough despite its size, to do so again!

Even during 'The Blitz' when London got bombed to smithereens and was reduced to streets of rubble; even then, we held our heads high as a proud nation and battled on. The milk was still delivered on time, though there often be no door step remaining to put it on. Even houses reduced to rubble could not destroy the welcoming door step of every home. The bruised and battered door steps were lifted from beneath the rubble, washed down and whitened for use another day!

A few nights ago, I watched the first of the two planned debates between Nigel Farage of UKIP and Nick Clegg of the Liberal Party about the merits of staying in or pulling out of Europe. My own views on this subject have never changed and I would vote to come out at the earliest opportunity.

During the discussion, Nick Clegg listed as one of the major 'achievements' of being a European member to have been our ability to persuade other European countries to extradite our English murderers and criminals back to England so that we could sentence and imprion them here. He even bragged that in this respect, Great Britain has been the most successful of all European countries in achieving the highest numbers of criminal extradition orders.

I fear that Nick will just never get the message! Doesn't he understand the reason for this position of Great Britain being Number one in the 'extradition-order-back-home-league-table'? Doesn't he realise that we are the only country in the whole of Europe who actually wants other countries to send our criminals back to us so that we can bear the cost of feeding, caring and imprisoning them forever more?

Nice one Nick! You won the extradition war, but not because you were the better fighter. It was more to do with the fact that you never faced any opposition from our more street-wise European members! You would never have seen old Hitler off, I fear, as you are sadly lacking in true British grit!" William Forde: March 28th, 2014.

March 27th, 2014.

27/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Today's thought is inspired by the memory of a person I once knew; a lovely lady in her prime, who during those sexually intolerant years of the 1980's killed herself after it was discovered that she was lesbian. Her lover was unknown at the time, although much speculation and gossip abounded as to whom it might possibly be. Then one morning about six months after her death, her secret sexual partner decided not to hide their past love a moment longer and 'came out' by shouting her secret to the world.

'Take my hand, my love and do not leave me alone with only past thoughts of your beauty. You didn't need to leave me in order to find peace from this intolerant world. Without you, I am truly lost. Who ever thought two women could love more greatly than any union ever shared with man? Who would have dreamt that sensuous touch lay only in the heterosexual domain? Be no more the love that dare not speak its name and let all know that we truly loved one another as only lovers can. I loved you and care not in this land of bigots, who knows it. I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU!'I STILL DO!" William Forde: March 27th, 2014.

March 26th, 2014

26/3/2014

Thought for today:
"If you are encouraged to mix freely when you are young, your life will be far fuller and more colourful as you live through it and your values will be more naturally defined in your old age. Racism is not a characteristic one is born with; it is learned and reinforced through needless fear, misinformation, misunderstanding and bigotry. It is more natural to cooperate than it is to compete; more beneficially rewarding to share than to selfishly deprive. If innocent children can learn this without the imput of adults, surely adults have a responsibility never to teach them otherwise." William Forde : March 26th, 2014.

March 25th,2014

25/3/2014

Thought for today:
"A friend of mine, Graham Smith, the proprietor of 'Voice of the Valley' and 'Bronte Radio' of Haworth informed us on Face Book yesterday that he has spent 45 years in reporting the news through first word and more latterly pictures. Congratulations Graham; you truly know the merits of both these mediums. It is a combination of words and picture which leads me as a general rule to post only one item per day on my wall: my 'Thought for today.'

Graham's recent words brought my mind back to the early 1970's when I came across an article in an educational magazine/paper. The article more or less reinforced everything I was to discover by different channels in later years of my research into behaviour patterns and more effective methods of educational learning.

I came to learn that the combination of words and pictures is the cornerstone of all language development and communication processes. As a writer of over fifty published books, I know that good writing is a bit like being a magician waving a magic wand; someone who can turn 'this' into 'that' and then make you turn it back again into its original form. This is essentially the process of any effective author and their readership.

All my stories start with an idea (mental image) which I then transform into words on a page. The totality of these words represent a written story. Having turned my mental pictures into words on a page, my readers read my words and in doing so, they turn my words back into images in their own mind. When the image that started off in my mind before I wrote my first word is the same as the image that finished up in my reader's mind, then my purpose has been truly served and communication has occurred between author and reader.The magician's wand has done its job.

In 1974, I read a scientific paper on the merits of different teaching methods. That paper informed me that because the human brain learns by either word or picture and that one of the two is predominant in all learners and varies from person to person, the brain is best reinforced in its learning by the combination of both mediums. Hence; where as the most logically-minded person will learn easier by seeing 'words, numerals and diagrams' written on a blackboard by teacher, the other learning type of individual will retain the information better and process it in their mind easier if it is delivered in image form ( if you draw them a picture). Many teachers recognise this as the 'Show not tell' stratagem of the classroom.

All good teachers and educators however, were advised by the paper to play safe and to develop new learning methods which used both pictures and words to reinforce the very same point being made with all pupils; knowing that in this way their lesson will be more effective, be more easily retained and reach a larger target audience.

So if you are a teacher out there who is feeling like 'giving up trying' or a teacher struggling with getting your message across to some of your pupils and are feeling a bit 'walled in', remember your early training years and how the teaching of toddlers was always done, with words alongside pictures, and know that the learning and communication process best used on adults is no different." William Forde: March 25th, 2014.

March 24th, 2014

24/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Oh father of all forlorn hope, rescue me from earthly despair and eternal damnation.

Allow not my memory to be conveniently washed away like water down a drain, but instead endow me with the knowledge that I once truly loved and that I cared for those I never knew.

Let fade in thy reckoning all of those years I lived life to the full, enabling my own happiness to suppress greater awareness of world misery all around while spending lavishly and foolishly upon things that didn't matter when such precious monies could have rescued oh so much.

I might have rescued starving children, ill-treated donkeys, limbless beggars, hopeless addicts, one more of the innumerable homeless and the abused if only I'd given more, because I had so much more to give and was selfish in its keeping.

If only I'd spoken out instead of staying quiet and acted more boldly instead of standing by, fewer injustices might have taken place within my presence. If only I'd done those things, I could have truly rescued so much more, and in the saving of others, saved myself." William Forde: March 24th, 2014.

March 23rd, 2014

23/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Were I ever to give a young girl who is growing up in today's world one single piece of advice, it wouldn't be how to marry a rich man, good man, handsome man or how to get a good job, sound education or how to remain attractive of face, open of heart, sensitive of soul or forgiving of spirit.

Though these and many more things are undoubtedly of great importance to any young girl who hasn't yet started First School and who cannot possibly know the unfairness that still exists between the genders in this man-made world she will one day try to enter on equal terms, none will of themselves enable her to survive as an independent person with self respect and peace of mind.

Were I to offer such a girl but one piece of advice it would be, 'Never consider any person or creature to be more important than yourself or more awesome in their art of power and persuasion. Don't be intimidated by life; you lead it and don't let it lead you!'

It is only when women are confident enough in self to take the lead in this world that we will as a society all start to move forward instead of forever looking back." William Forde: March 23rd, 2014.

March 21st, 2014

22/3/2014

"Thought for today:
"Today is the anniversary of my father's birthday who died in 1991, aged 75 years. Of all the things that I could say to his credit, including the fact that he played international soccer for Ireland, none comes to mind more readily than the fact that he was a good man of humble mannerisms, Christian beliefs and simple ways. He was one of the most independent men I ever knew.

He was brought up in the poorest of circumstances in County Kilkenny, Ireland and started work at an early age when other boys of his year were still being educated at school. He was a man who always did whatever he did in his life to the best of his capabilities. He never considered any kind of work to be beneath him, and bringing a wage home for his wife and seven children was always his first priority.

I recall as a teenager when my father was a miner and his work mates had voted to go on strike, my father was the only man who braved the picket line to earn his day's wage. One of his few sayings that I can remember of his was, ' Principles are for the rich without children and mouths to feed!' Despite myself being the youngest trade union shop steward in Great Britain at the age of 18 years, I could understand how a proud man who was concerned for the welfare of his wife and children could stifle his silent tears as he crossed a picket line of working comrades to earn a day's wage.

No more can one expect of any man, father and husband. The day that dad was born, my father brought the first day of spring into the world. I love you Dad. I miss you. God Bless you, and a Happy heavenly birthday from your oldest child. x.

I only ever heard you sing two songs in your life, Dad. The only time I ever knew you to sing was when you were getting a bath after a hard day's work. I would often listen at the bathroom door and along with my sisters, Mary and Eileen, we would giggle and quietly laugh. We only heard you sing two songs in your life; 'Sweet Sixteen' and 'Some Enchanted Evening' from the film 'South Pacific'. Allow me to sing one of your favourite songs today, Dad on behalf of all seven of your children. We may not have always understood you and the things you did, but we always loved you. Happy birthday, Dad on what would have been your 99th, birthday.Love from Billy and all my siblings, Mary, Eileen, Patrick, Peter, Michael and Susan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YXJBZWRbFcwww.youtube.com/watch?v=9YXJBZWRbFc

March 20th, 2014

20/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Big bunnies require big hugs and lots of looking after. Not everyone is up to caring for so large a creature that may look so fetching when they are young, but who grow much faster than your wildest expectations. Remember that a pet is just not for Christmas.You should never bring a pet into your home unless you are prepared to bring it into your life and heart." William Forde: March 20th, 2014.

March 19th, 2014.

19/3/2014

Thought for today:
"I love my friend. We share everything. I know that if mum forgot to give me my breakfast then my friend would willingly share his with me.

No way, little girl! Don't you ever try to get between a dog and its bone or you'll definitely see a side of Fido that you've never before seen.

As you grow older little girl into a woman, you'll soon come to learn that men and husbands aren't too dissimilar to that of some dogs and beasts of prey. So if you always want to stay on the right side of your man, never neglect his stomach because when that starts to rumble and growl, you'd better get out the baking tray or run for the hills!" William Forde: March 19th,2014.

March 18th, 2014

18/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Character consists not of the number of times one is knocked down, but of getting back up. The true measure of a person's character isn't how one lives with success, but how one reacts to the experience of failure and in particular what one does on the third and fourth knock-back?

On every occasion in my life when something uninviting and unhelpful has occurred, my mind has always gone to those wise words of my mother which she often spoke to me.

'There may be many people who are capable of putting you down, Billy, but only you can keep yourself down.'

As a young man in my early twenties, I had a good and very wise boxing instructor. While I could never really box with any great skill, I engaged in the sport at an amateur level in order to improve my balance, very much as I took up horse riding; having one leg a few inches shorter than the other as the result of a traffic accident. I often spun around too fast and lost my footing.

My instructor would constantly remind me as I entered the ring, 'Don't forget Bill, however many times he knocks you down, if you get up every time within ten seconds, he can never knock you out!'

I guess that my mother and my boxing trainer, though one be stranger to the other, must have certainly had a meeting of minds along the way!" William Forde: March 18th, 2014.

March 17th, 2014

17/3/2014

Thought for today:
"On this glorious day of the 17th, March, as an Irish-born man who now lives in Haworth, I wish all my family and friends a very happy Saint Patrick's Day.

There were some disadvantages to being Irish as I grew up, but such were always greatly outweighed by the advantages. I'll never forget the first Irish funeral I attended as a child and in particular, the words that the priest conducting the ceremony used to describe the man being buried.

As the coffin was lowered into the grave, the deceased was described as having been 'a saint, scholar and gentleman.' A large part of me regretted never having known this great man. Over the years that followed I attended numerous Irish funerals. I was almost eleven years old before I realised that every Irish man I'd ever seen buried had been described by the priest conducting the burial as having been 'a saint, scholar and gentleman!'

So there you have it, you English folk. All Irish men are born, live and die superior to other nationalities. Saint Patrick himself must have truly worked his miracles when he converted every man in dear old Ireland to saints, scholars and gentlemen. Isn't it just a shame that he did nothing to change the weird and wild ways of the Irish woman, who let me tell you, no English man will ever be able to tame and turn into an English lady. Happy Saint Patrick's day: mine's a pint of Guinness." William Forde: March 17th, 2014.

March 16th, 2014

16/3/2014

Thought for today:
"The Dalai Lama tells us not to let the behaviour of others destroy our happiness or inner peace. In my lifetime working in the field of Relaxation and stress counselling, I would identify one of the greatest causes of one feeling stressed as being wholly unnecessary. Much stress occurs and is felt by you when you unknowingly take on the stress of another or allow them to dump their stress on you! If someone wants to act like a wet blanket, let them, but don't allow them to dampen your enthusiasm. If you encounter a particularly nasty and twisted person, don't wast your energy trying to straighten them out and change their nasty ways or alter their contorted view of life if they've made it clear that they've no intention of altering their ways. Just continue being your good self and allow them to bear the consequences of their own actions, hoping that they just may copy your more model behaviour if they see it often enough. This is what we in Haworth know as 'Tough love', which is as far removed from the more cynical and non-caring attitude of 'Tough shit' as one can get. William Forde: March 16th, 2014.

March 15th, 2014

15/3/2014

Thought for today:
"This year of 2014 is the Chinese year of the Horse and having being born in November 1942 makes me a horse. My wife Sheila was born in the Chinese year of the Monkey.

Three days ago my monthly hospital appointment with the consultant told me that my illness had advanced and that arrangements would be soon made for me to have a bone marrow biopsy and have a node sample taken from my lymph glands. I would then be given a course of chemotherapy.

While I know that the year 2014 will be a trying year when I will have to face a few rough tides, it is I believe one of the most significant years in my life. It is at such times that I truly appreciate that I am a content and happy person who found and married the best love of his life. I am also truly fortunate to have such loving family and friends around me and a support structure 'that one would literally die for.' This is my year; the year of the horse. What better year could there be to face and do battle with the tempestuous seas ahead?

I know that there will be some folk who read my posts who may think it somewhat strange to occasionally talk about one's earthly demise, but believe me it isn't as morbid as some may think it to be. All research indisputably shows that facing and talking about fears and the potential stress in one's life reduces the fear level, lowers the stress and facilitates better coping mechanisms to emerge. I intend to live the remaining moments of my life as stress free as I am able to" William Forde: March 15th, 2014

March 14th, 2014

14/3/2014

Thought for today:
" I was sad to hear this morning of the death of Tony Benn, probably the best Prime Minister that Labour never had. Unlike Tony Blair who promoted 'New Labour' policies during his time in Office, throughout his entire life Tony Benn was concerned with 'True Labour' policies.

I heard him do one of his public one man talks once in Huddersfield, but only met the man a mere once when he kindly read from one of my books in a South Yorkshire Primary School. His sole condition required for his attendance was that I didn't inform the press and that no prior announcement was made, even to the Head teacher as to who their special guest reader would be. While the children didn't know the man, I will not forget his fatherly mannerisms when reading to them. I recall him getting no more than a few lines into the story before breaking off to inform the children of one of his own experiences;very much as he used to do in his one man talks to large audiences around the country.

Let me say from the start, that from all the politicians I ever met or had dealings with, he was the one I most respected. Indeed; it was the man I respected, much more than the politician. While twice holding Cabinet Office under Harold Wilson and then James Callighan and serving as an Member of Parliament for over fifty years in itself spoke volumes, he always remained 'true to himself and his beliefs.'

There was no fiddling of expenses for him as he conducted his mode of transport as plainly as he conducted his own life and would always use the train and other public transport means to travel. He was a conviction politician from cradle to the grave and the only one who I ever knew who gave up his hereditary title of Viscount at the beginning of his career in Parliament to serve his constituents instead of entering Parliament as a commoner with the distant aim of becoming a peer one day in the Upper House.

His most endearing quality however was that he was respected whatever political view one held. One didn't need to 'buy in' to his particular brand of left wing politics in order to 'buy in to the man himself'. Once met, he commanded your respect. God bless you and your family, Tony Benn." William Forde: March 14th, 2014.

March 13th, 2014

13/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Only a true Haworth resident will know that 'The Bronte Way' is no rambler's walk or bridal footpath in our fair land. We true stalwarts know that the phrase was born in the breast of a mother of thirteen children who was reported to have been born in a little cottage up Main Street during the 1830's.

It was she who first found 'The Bronte Way' after she discovered the best method of disciplining her young without needing to resort to the belt or birch. For a mother to be a good disciplinarian she must have the 'Bronte Look' and the 'Bronte Finger' as the residents of Haworth have come to know and she must also possess the skill to synchronise both perfectly.This is what has come to be known as 'The Bronte Way'.

If you don't believe me, wait until you next see a child about to break out into a tantrum in the Main Street. If they get a sharp clout, a smacked bottom or their ice cream cornet snatched from their hands in punishment and thrown away, then know them to be visitors.

If, on the other hand, however, instead of threatening them with any words or stick to hand, the mother simply looks them straight in the eye and points in 'The Bronte Way,' you know she hails from Haworth. I guarantee that the silent image will initially stop them in their tracks for a moment, which is usually enough time to regain control of the situation. Where do you think that the late Barbara Woodhouse developed her successful approach in establishing obedience? Why, from Haworth of course!" William Forde: March 13th, 2014.

March 12th, 2014

12/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Today is my brother-in-law, Richard's birthday. Richard acted as my best man when I married Sheila. I won't say how old he is, because I don't really know as I'm sure that he has always knocked off a few years in company. I can however tell you that he's older than me, though perhaps probably not as handsome. I can tell you most certainly that he is a 'good man' and loving father who we nearly lost recently, but thank God he pulled though and is now back home looking after his birds and trains (both of which he is an enthusiast and expert). There again, as I know nothing about either birds or trains, I guess I'll have to take his word on his knowledge level in these two departments also!

Richard, I hope you have a most enjoyable birthday and that my sister Mary looks after your every need. For me and Sheila, we can honestly say that the world is a much happier place with you in it. Happy birthday brother. We all love you dearly xxxx": William Forde: March 12th, 2014.

March 11th, 2014

11/3/2014

Love isn't love until it's shared and cowardice remains cowardice until it's dared.
Time has no meaning until it's spent and forgiveness is stuck 'til you relent.
So hold fast to every moment of your dreams, for they are easily snatched from your hands when fate and destiny unexpectedly collide and fear of rejection is allowed to smother smooth and decisive action that risks both head and heart." William Forde: March 11th, 2014.

March 10th, 2014

10/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Oh shadow of saving sunlight, window of my soul and instrument of my fate, fly me away from all earthly pain and distress and let me be enabled to look at life anew. Take me from the path of earthly danger and move me towards immortality in the heavens above. Let me settle on some distant moon and look down upon the earth below in all its radiant splendour as I gaze upon my past.

Were I to sit upon the moon and look down on all my earthy actions with total detachment, would the great, the good, the kind and the humane things I did for and towards others look as great, good, kind and humane from on high? Would I see that I did them for the benefit of myself as much as I did them to enhance the lives of others? Would I see that I liked being 'good' because it made me look 'good' in the eyes of others and thereby feel 'good' in myself? Was such a path I chose to walk in paved with intentions of humility or martyrdom?

And would those things I did, and which at the time of their enactment seemed so wrong to do, be now judged as harshly as I once judged them? Were those battles I fought through a sense of righteous anger and the wars I engaged in between adversaries and attackers of my beliefs, family and country really as wrong as I initially thought them to be?

Thank God it takes a God from on high to know the true difference between 'right' and 'wrong,' 'truth' and 'falseness' of purpose and intent. It was never meant for one man of this earth to stand in judgement over the deeds of another and to act as judge, jury and executioner. Neither was the earth designed to make half of the people on one side of its planet forever live in the shadow of the other half's brightness; placing some high and enabling them to look down on others, while moving in the opposite direction of the one place where all one day hope to be; the place whose space will first be occupied by those who today are looked down on most often from earthly thrones. " William Forde, March 10th, 2014.

March 9th, 2014

9/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Feelings are meant to be expressed in their most appropriate and healthy manner and when they aren't, their repression will inevitably lead to emotional disturbance and ill-health. That is the single truth which 70 years of life and 35 years of research into human behaviour patterns have taught me.

I grew up in an age where big boys didn't cry and good girls rarely thought nasty thoughts and most certainly never expressed the ones they did. These were the days when nice girls didn't fight. It was the domain of the boys to break arms and legs in their rough and tough games whereas the girls were meant to skip and play nicely with their dolls.

Whenever boys weren't stamping on spiders or breaking the wings of butterflies, they remained constantly duty-bound to protect and defend their good name. They would consequently meet the slightest of insults with a fighting challenge outside the school gates at 4 pm. The fight would go on until first blood was drawn or one of the opponents said, 'I give up.' There was never shame to be felt by a fighter uttering theses words. Shame was only felt by those boys who refused to fight for their honour and those who used any weapon or other part of their body than a fist.

These were the days when men fought in a world war and never spoke of their action thereafter. These were the days when a good woman was thought to be a wife who would stand by her husband, whatever his wrongs and would turn a blind eye when his strayed too long in another woman's direction. These were often days of bitter regret for having believed too many false promises from the man they once thought they loved, but after giving birth to his sixth child, knew deep down, all such love once felt had long since disappeared and wouldn't return. These were the days when one laid in the bed one made, however uncomfortable the sleeping arrangements proved to be thereafter. These were said to be the 'good old days,' but were they really so?

Since I first married, life and attitudes have changed so much; some for the better and some for the worse. I am however glad that today, people of all ages, from the moment that they are able to express their feelings, are in the main encouraged by parents, teachers and society to honestly do so; particularly where others are abusing them.

No person or creature should ever be expected to continue to endure that which should never have been felt in the first place. No individual should ever be subjected to bullying, brutality, abuse, injustice, prejudice, discrimination, sexism or any other manner of human demeanor. No person should ever be forced to engage in any act which their heart, mind or soul does not wish them to go along with.

Unfortunately, the customs of the good old days effectively discouraged the women folk speaking out whenever they experienced such injustice from their marriage partner and prevented them effectively doing anything about their lot in order to seek redress and correction.

To ensure that such times never return, women must never be afraid to tell it as it is and to speak out. The only way for any individual ( man, woman or child), to be truly happy and to know that they deserve respect, is to honestly and appropriately express the way they feel at the moment of its birth." William Forde: March 9th, 2014

March 8th, 2014

8/3/2014

Thought for today:
"The signs of a marriage doomed to end in divorce (and take it from one who has tied the knot three times and loosened it twice), is that one of the partners develops the propensity of putting the other in a deep hole from which escape gets more and more difficult to climb out of. On the other side of the marital bed however, the success of a marriage surviving its ups and downs is heavily dependent upon each partner throwing their spouse a lifeline whenever they need one from time to time.

Hence, a crucial factor is the ability to be able to talk to each other and to honestly communicate your feelings and genuine wishes; otherwise how can a spouse possibly know whether you want pulling back towards their affections or desire to let go of the union?" William Forde : March 8th, 2014.

March 7th, 2014

8/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Beware, beware a woman scorned in marriage and in the throes of revenge as she prepares to attend her divorce petition. For when the marriage fails to meet the expectations she once held so high, pity the lowly man who remains prostrate at her feet as she drags him through the courts of British Justice.

From the start of the divorce petition to its end, the wife and mother before the British Court will be treated more favourably and far differently than the husband and father. Statistics show that she will obtain legal aid while the man, who is more often the respondent, will still be paying his solicitor's bill ten years later. If there are any children to the marriage, whatever their individual merits of parenthood, the mother will be granted custody and the father will receive an Access Order of a few hours at weekend.

There is unlikely to be little chance of the children sleeping over on access weekends as when assessing the maintenance payments for the man to pay for the next fifteen years, the weekly amount ordered will usually be set around £100 per week more than the chap earns with overtime (unless of course he is one of those feckless parents who hasn't worked for ten years and has fathered eight children to six different women; in which case the maintenance level could be set at a nominal few pounds).

Consequently, the man will often be left without a place to live or possess the means to occupy more than a dinky flat which couldn't accommodate his children staying over, even were such staying access granted. Dad may not have the money to take his children to the cinema and will probably join the ranks of other Sunday access dads to be seen at the parks around the land on cold and windy weekends.

When the wail of a scorned woman is heard on the night of a full moon before the hearing of your divorce petition, beware of the wolf at your door who wants to eat away the inside of your heart and once you enter the court arena, prepare to fight for your life.

As a Probation Officer who also acted as Divorce Court Welfare Officer in my early career, all of my insider knowledge to the Court system didn't prevent me getting screwed over when my first marriage ended acrimoniously and my ex-wife and her solicitor took me to the cleaners.

Years later, I heard of one solicitor who dealt with his male clients accordingly whenever he represented a man contesting a divorce settlement. He always advised them to chose between being true to one's word or true to oneself. At the very beginning of the process when he first interviewed the man he would ask only one question: 'Are you prepared to go into the witness box and foreswear?'

If the answer to come back was, 'No, I will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth', the solicitor would reply, 'Then be prepared to give her the house, the dog and every penny you will earn for the next fifteen years, because when her turn comes to enter the witness box, she will lie to high heaven and stuff you good and proper! As for seeing your children, the postman will get to see them more often than you during the years ahead. "

Just in case any of you think today's thought to be the rantings of a bitter man, I assure you that it isn't. My first marriage breakup was acrimonious and my second couldn't have been more agreeable to all parties. However, my 25 year's of court experience could never have prepared me for the gross sexual inequalities that still exists in the British Courts today where the dissolution of marriage, access to children and the establishment of maintenance is concerned." William Forde: March 7th, 2014.

March 6th, 2014

6/3/2014

Thought for today:
"Only a classy lady of true deportment would be willing to dance with an old, galumphing elephant like me who couldn't guarantee not to tred on her foot. That's what makes you my star attraction in my circus of life, Sheila; my darling wife and ring master." William Forde : March 6th, 2014.

March 5th, 2014

5/3/2014

Thought for today:
"My mother told me once it became obvious that I was never going to grow into a man who walked around with his head in the clouds that not all women prefer tall men. After incurring a bad traffic accident at the age of twelve years which stunted my growth further and left me with one leg three inches shorter than the other, she then informed me that the nurturing and caring instincts of all women invariably makes a man with a limp instantly attractive to them.

Over the years, I have learned how best to develop my limp. Did you know that one can tell a gentleman or a rogue by the way they limp, whereas it is impossible to tell when the limp comes in the walk of a roguish gentleman?

As I developed into manhood and prepared to fly the family nest, the parting advice of my mother was that all women know that the very best things in life tend to come wrapped in small parcels. It never dawned on me until after my mother's death that whatever characteristic I developed growing up, she would produce her very own piece of Irish-spun wisdom purporting it to be good and much wanted by the women of the world. Isn't it simply annoying when you discover that your dear old mum was always right? " William Forde: March 5th, 2014.