Blog Archives - FordeFables

October 31st, 2017.

31/10/2017

Thought for today:
"Given the will, one will usually find the way. Life is too short a time to spend shell-shocked, with a head full of troubled thoughts and a heart lacking in courage. One must move on from past regrets, get rid of the emotional baggage we have carried around for far too long and go in search of a new cabbage patch!

As Mark Twain wrote in 'The American Claimant',' Drag your thoughts away from your troubles, by the ears, by the heels or by any other way so that you can manage it; it's the healthiest thing a body can do.'

During my many years of running groups, helping emotional disturbance, teaching relaxation methods and problem-solving in Probation Offices, Prisons, Hostels, Hospitals, Psychiatric Units, Schools, Educational Establishments and Community Halls, I always relied on some programme content which dealt with effective ways of 'emotional distancing.' I quickly learned as a worker that until a person with a problem to solve can become the person operating the camera and taking the picture instead of the one being photographed, very little is likely to be achieved long term.

Without going into the many techniques and methods one can usefully employ, I would place the distancing of oneself from the original thoughts and emotions that surrounded 'the problem' to be essential in resolving it. Note that this doesn't imply running away from it, but simply standing back and getting a new perspective on the unresolved situation. This is the best way I know of taking a breather, enabling one to put sufficient time and space between our old thoughts that got us in trouble in the first place and the kind of thoughts and thinking that are most likely to get us out of trouble now!

I'm with you, Mark; upwards and onward, or should that be you sometimes need to take one step back in order to take two steps forward!" William Forde: October 31st, 2017.

October 30th, 2017.

30/10/2017

Thought for today:
"There is a happiness to be found in each of us that has its winter and its summer, its autumn and its spring. Allow your nature to take you along your year of destiny into the arms of angel's wing.

If you have a dream, also have the courage to follow it, and the heart and staying power to see it come to fruition; for dreams fall not into the laps of idle minds who know not the purpose of their day nor have the vision to look beyond the moment into tomorrow's hope.

Should you come across your soul mate on life's travels, the one you first met in a dream, hold her forever close in your affection and find the poetry in your heart to tell her that your feelings for her will never die; nor will your love for her dare ask why, you both were meant to be: two halves that met one winter's morn and made one whole, to live today, tomorrow, every dawn, in body mind and soul as one true love in harmony." William Forde: October 30th, 2017.

October 29th, 2017.

29/10/2017

'Let Me' by William Forde : Copyright October 29th, 2017.

'Let me whisper in your ear and hear the echo of your soul.
To merge my pulse within your heart, so you forever hear the beat of mine.
Let me move your senses to distraction; your desires to the edge of reason.
To steer full force of passion towards temptation when you lie in my presence.
Let my want possess a madness of mind which alone can satisfy unquenchable thirst.
To drink from body's hollow and eat the apple from your unharvested tree of love.

Let me love you with all my heart, and if in return, your love expressed can never be as much as mine for you, let the more loving one be me.
Let me.'

William Forde: October 29th, 2017.

October 28th, 2017

28/10/2017

Thought for today:
"When you think about it, life is a conundrum of strange facts and mysterious meanings; where all virtue is a paradox and the power to transform bad to good and good to bad is vested in mankind's truth and the devil's temptation. For example, since the days of Adam and Eve, many a bad woman has been able to turn a good man bad, but it is only a good woman that possesses the power to turn a bad man good, or is it?

During my twenty-five years working as a Probation Officer in the West Yorkshire Service, I encountered many a man whose pattern of repeat offending was so entrenched and where the number of prison sentences served by him could not be counted on one hand. Whenever I met such a man, my heart sank because I knew that the likelihood of him ever being rehabilitated was less than the comedian Jo Brand refusing the offer of a big fat cream cake after a six-week period of enforced starvation!

And yet, during my probation officer career, I was to witness a transformation of such magnitude on a number of occasions which I knew that only divine intervention could bring about. On each and every occasion, the man's savior came in the form of 'love'; whether it be the love of Christ discovered in the corner of a prison cell during the depths of despair by a reborn Christian or a love found in the arms of a new woman in one's life that provided meaning and motivation to change; or the introduction of new life and hope that only the birth and love of a child can bring.

I would like to report that it was the love of Christ that seemed to bring about the miraculous transformation in most recidivists most often but would have to honestly say that on the surface, the love of Christ usually ran a poor second to that of the love of a good woman. Could it be that the Adam and Eve conundrum was present at the start of time and will be there at its end?" William Forde: October 28th, 2017.

October 27th, 2017.

27/10/2017

"Thought for today:
"Having visited over two thousand Yorkshire schools between 1990 and 2005, the one thing that struck me the most was the discrimination faced by girl pupils to that of boys; a discrimination, I would add, that was often reinforced and buttressed by their teachers, both male and female, knowingly and unknowingly. Even today in 2017, we still live in a largely man-made world where parity between the sexes hasn't yet been reached.

I often feel that women have a harder time in life living the roles that they adopt and those ascribed to them by their male counterparts. As the bearer of children, females carry an enormous responsibility for both the advancement or decline of civilisation; the birth of future generations is in their hands (or should that be belly?)

In an ideal world, girls would be provided with every available opportunity to grow naturally from childhood into the responsibilities of adult, lover, wife and motherhood and yet, far too often before their minds and bodies are ready for it, they miss out large sections of their youth and have to abandon their dolls and childhood dreams to more adult chores of life. Even before they have barely reached the stage of puberty, girls experience male pressures to be sexualised into 'baby dolls' and 'bunny girls' for no other reason than to gratify man's urges and sensual pleasures. To resist such pressure is often to stand out as being labelled 'odd' to the other girls as opposed to the more accurate description as being 'different'.

Next comes boyfriends, babies and marriage; usually in that order and rarely as the result of any planned execution. In times of economic depression, there is too often no job to work at, no place to live that can be called home and insufficient nourishing food to eat. With a child/children sometimes younger than three or four to daily care for, the only jobs that are readily obtainable and will put bread on the table is the part-time occupation that the woman can obtain on minimum wages, working the most inconvenient of hours while someone else cares for their child.

Not surprisingly, years of accumulated stress that accompanies such a life exacts the inevitable price of advanced ageing, robbing the woman of her previous good looks and fetching mannerisms. Such change often prompts the husband to turn his eyes elsewhere. He tells her that 'because she has let herself go' she cannot be bothered about their marriage and their relationship, so he too 'lets her go' and invariably runs off with the younger woman who amazingly still exhibits the urge to live life to the full and with a body to die for.

In this grossly, unfair society of ours, which is still predominantly male run, I see too many females who have never experienced the privilege of mastering one role in their life before they've had another thrust upon them. I know too many women who still have too much of the little girl inside them because they were rushed out of childhood years before their time; I see too many mothers whose overbearing level of responsibility prevents them ever discovering the individual they were meant to be and know of too many wives who would have been happier to have mothered one or two children instead of the four or five they gave birth to and the immature husband they found themselves saddled with.

With such confusion of roles and the 'guilt' that women are encouraged to take on board when they are physically unable to carry out all these responsibilities competently, it is hardly surprising that finding one's 'individuality' for a heavily pressurised, pregnant, overworked and over-managed woman in today's world is harder than grabbing a hole in the centre of a doughnut. Given the choice of one's sex at birth, no way would I choose to be born female in this man-made-world!" William Forde: October 27th, 2017

October 26th, 2017.

26/10/2017

October 26nd, 2017.
Thought for today:
"Many years ago after my first two children James and Adam were born, I experienced an event that was to radically change my attitude towards personal possessions and personal feelings. Often on a weekend, I would take my three and five-year-old sons to visit the home of a widowed work colleague called Brenda in Huddersfield or a spinster work colleague in Dewsbury called Joyce.

During one such visit, one of my boisterous children knocked an ornament off Joyce's side table. I apologised profusely as I knew the ornament was a precious family heirloom. Upon seeing her ceramic figure broken in pieces on the floor, a look of instant disappointment and annoyance crossed Joyce's face. This look, however, was instantly followed by Joyce's huge smile, the adoption of a gentle and reassuring voice, and giving my son in question a big hug. I apologised again to which Joyce replied, 'Please don't concern yourself, Bill. No ornament, whatever its cost or significance is worth the pain or slight discomfort of a child.' I have never forgotten that lesson.

I must admit to liking things of antiquity in my house, especially paintings that are pleasing to the eye. Being often confined to my house when my absence of immune system leads to me being ill, I find it comforting to be surrounded by pleasing scenes. Our weekly cleaner, Jane, is always wary when dusting, in case she accidentally breaks an object but is now, at last, reassured that they are 'things' in my eyes and can never mean more to me than her hurt feelings. The same applies to child visitors and their parents in the event of an accident occurring. Should a breakage occur today, I instantly recall those wise words of Joyce, that even precious artefacts can never bring as much pleasure to one's eyes as the smile of a happy and healthy child. So as far as the things I own go, 'if it pains too much to experience them broken in an accident, then better they are not part of my possessions at all', has been my motto for many years.

Being a spinster of her time, Joyce never gave birth to children, but by God, she understood them far better than I ever would!That wasn't the only thing that I'll remember Joyce for. There were few occasions when I heard Joyce use her choice swear words, but when she did, the look on her face would signify her profound anger. Unlike all the rest of her colleagues, however, her swear words did not resemble the consonants found in the 'bloody hell,' 'Shit!' or 'F... it!' they might utter, but in her expression of 'Rats!Rats!Rats!'

As someone who specialised in Behaviour Modification Methods, I recognised that where the strength of expressed anger is being assessed, it isn't the words uttered by the angry person that really matters, but the nature and strength of the emotion that is attached to it! I knew that in the world of Joyce's emotions that her 'Rats!Rats! Rats!' meant, 'F... it!F... it!F... it!'

I am so grateful to Joyce for having taught me these vital lessons of life and especially the undeniable truth that no price can ever be placed upon the hurt feeling of an individual nor any amount of wealth purchase the comfort of a friendly visitor to your home. I would sooner break a Ming vase or some other valuable artefact than break the wings of a butterfly or stir hurt and guilt in an innocent child or bring a tear to their eye." William Forde: October 26, 2017.

October 25th, 2017

25/10/2017

Thought for today:
"Whereas teaching, training and instruction do much, encouragement is everything!

I grew up loving all manner of song which I daily heard from the family wireless, and by the age of 10 years, I was the best singer in my school and had won a number of prizes. Gradually, dance came into my life as a means of legitimately putting my arms around a pretty girl's waist without getting my face slapped for insolence. I also became highly proficient at walking the floor and also won two medals for old time dancing by the age of 11 years.

Being born the eldest of seven children during the 'Second World War' years, there were no such luxuries in the 1940's and 50's of having musical instruments or musical lessons at either home or school. Indeed, the only instrument I ever learned to play was a mouth organ that my uncle gave me when I was laid up in hospital for nine months following a serious traffic accident just before my 12th birthday. My nine months in hospital did enable me to learn to play 'Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White', but that, unfortunately, was the full extent of my repertoire.

I was in my middle twenties before I was introduced to the magical sound of classical music. It is a love of mine that has grown with the passing of every year. The two instruments I do love to hear are undoubtedly the piano and violin; either of which I would have given my left arm to have learned to play. Instead of being able to play a note myself, I've been confined to listening to the finest musicians in the world coax and bring forth the sounds of heaven from these angelic strings with the organic extension of their hands. Indeed, whenever I see a violinist stroke their Stradivarius with graceful and loving touch, my mind is instantly transported back to my childhood dancing days with my arms around the waist of the best looking ten-year-old girl on the dance floor.

I now know that liking something is of itself insufficient to make one do it well; neither is deep appreciation enough to lead one to do something about it. One has to be warmed by ambition to become better at it and be driven through the fires of burning desire to become the best. And even that can be insufficient unless one has the encouragement at their back, forever willing them on to practise! practise! practise!

The greatest of responsibilities with parents today is to persuade their children to pursue their dreams and to be inspired by the things they love. These are important things to encourage, along with having open minds to try things new and to go that extra step when they discover a talent that is worthy of developing. Parents today would do well to remind themselves they are the chief influential forces in their children's lives; the ones who are there to encourage the promotion of natural talent and the development of a confident and proficient self.

I never took piano or violin lessons, but I know deep down that with a bit of the right encouragement and the proper teacher to instruct me, I would have jumped at the opportunity. There is simply no way that any growing boy cannot be enticed and encouraged into a greater sense of cultural understanding.

And should it happen that all the instruction and encouragement in the world from the one who loves you most is still not enough to bring forth sweet song, deft dancing and perfect instrumental play, then, as my dear mother used to advise, 'Be no less of the good person that God intended you to be and learn to love and share what you have; learn to be the reason that someone smiles today.'" William Forde: October 25th, 2017.

October 24th, 2017.

24/10/2017

Thought for today:
"A few days ago, an old friend of mine, the film star, Rosemary Leach died, aged 81. Rosemary was an acclaimed actress of world renown in her time and I shall never forget her roles in the films ' A Room with a View' and 'The Jewel in the Crown.' Nor shall I forget the impetus she provided to my career as a children's author in November 1990.

At the time I was a probation officer in Huddersfield who had just got his first children's book published, of which the proceeds of all sales went to the 'Children in Need' appeal. I had planned to hold special assemblies in primary schools in Kirlees every day of November with celebrities from local radio and tv, along with the Mayor and Kirklees' MPs etc reading from my book to help make the children feel special.

The poorest and most deprived area of Huddersfield at the time was Sheepridge Estate. As a probation officer, I knew Sheepridge as a place where high crime levels, frequent burglaries, mass poverty and unemployment, plus the absence of hope went hand in hand. Had I been any parent in the land, Sheepridge would have been the last area that I would choose to home, school and rear my children.

One night I read that the film actress Rosemary Leach was acting in a neighbouring county so wrote to her, inviting her to visit the primary school on Sheepridge Estate and read to the children. To my surprise, she agreed to come.

I will never forget the morning of her visit. All the teachers and school children were waiting in the school playground to welcome her. The most notable visitor the children had seen at their school previously had been a town councillor. At precisely 8.55 am, a white Rolls Royce was chauffeur-driven into the playground and out stepped Rosemary like a Russian Princess.

That morning was an eye-opener. Rosemary was a natural with the children and from all the famous names I would go on to meet over the following ten years,(over 860 national and international famous names), her speech was impeccable. After her reading, she spent time with the children looking at the many drawings they had done for her. She proudly told them a bit about herself at their age and specifically, when she was taken to see the 'Ironbridge Gorge' close to her birthplace in Shropshire. She was particularly proud to tell the children that the 'Ironbridge Gorge' was the world's first iron structure and had been built towards the end of the 18th century. When she left, I believed that would be the last of our contact.

Rosemary was very special in my advancement as a children's author and in my capacity to persuade hundreds of other famous readers to visit Yorkshire schools in the decade that followed. My first published book sold over 4000 copies in one month and raised over £10.000 for 'Children in Need.'

I was soon to discover that having had Rosemary Leach read for me was to be a great persuader in getting other famous people to read my books in Yorkshire schools. Before long, many hundreds of national and international stars of stage screen and film, along with artists, television presenters, politicians, archbishops, prime minister's wives, etc were added to my celebrity reading list. Mass publicity almost daily for ten years, brought my name and work to the attention of the late Princess Diana and President Mandela, each of whom phoned me; Princess Diana, to request that I send her two books of mine to read to her 9 and 7-year-old sons, Princes William and Harry at their bedtime, and Nelson Mandela to praise two books of mine that I had written about South Africa and Jamaica.

I would be writing for hours were I to list the many celebrity doors that were opened to me between 1990 and 2005. I was even asked to work in conjunction with the Minister for Education and Youth in Jamaica between 2000 and 2002 in a trans-Atlantic pen-pal project between 64 schools, the purpose being to raise awareness of racial discrimination between black and white pupils. To read about some of the celebrity contacts I had, please access on my website:
http://www.fordefables.co.uk/contacts-with-celebrities.html

After her visit to Sheepridge, never one Christmas went by when Rosemary and I didn't exchange Christmas greetings. Just like the character in the play, '84, Charing Cross Road' for which she won the 1982 Olivier Award for best actress, a friendship was born and maintained between us thereafter. She was generosity itself. One year when I was auctioning off for charity the autographed books that celebrities had written and sent me, Rosemary wrote back that while she'd never written a book, she had nevertheless signed and enclosed one of her drama books she had used in her days at Rada. She said it was the most important book in her life and was willing to sell it for a charitable cause. I didn't have the heart to deprive her of it, so I bought it myself at the auction by bidding the highest and presented it back to her the following Christmas with my love and appreciation. God rest your soul, sweet Rosemary." William Forde: October 24th, 2017.

October 23rd, 2017.

23/10/2017

Thought for today:
"There have always been bullies in every walk of life. It matters not whether you be black or white, male or female, rich or poor, fat or thin, child or adult, most of us will encounter someone who will try to pull us down and belittle us; either physically or in the estimation of others!

When I was a young boy growing up in the late 1940's and early 1950's, I once arrived home with a black eye that a boy three years older and much bigger in size had given me for the weekend. Seeing my shiner, my father (adopting his traditional John Wayne stance) asked, 'Did you stand your ground and fight back?' I answered indignantly, 'Of course I did, dad, but he was bigger than me, and three years older!'

I do not say that children are more placid in their response today, as I know that the level of abuse and violence one person is prepared to inflict upon another is more aggressive and brutally violent than it has ever been. There was however, an expectation within the working classes of the 1940's and 1950's that you never took anything lying down and without protest, physical or otherwise. Sadly today, the world is predominantly made up of two types of person. The first type requires no excuse to demonstrate aggression and is too willing to inflict injury on another for seemingly no reason at all. The second type is the ordinary man or woman who will see injury inflicted on innocent others and will walk on by without trying to intervene as though in denial of the hurt that is being caused. They are understandably ruled by fear and know that if they intervene, they too will be hurt and could even end up dead!

And yet, I know deep down that the only way to deal with bullying is 'to stand one's ground', however anxious, difficult and dangerous that course of action may prove to be. The first thing to understand is that 'standing up' doesn't mean resorting to fisticuffs, as that is often not the best way of fighting back. Sometimes 'standing up for oneself' will mean 'shouting out', 'telling another' and 'asking for help.' Whatever the bullied person does, 'staying quiet' and suffering in silence will only increase the likelihood of being bullied again and again; not eliminate it!

This was the message that I frequently gave children in their school assemblies between 1990 and 2005. Only by standing up to the bully will they stop bullying you. I would advise bullied children to tell their parents, teachers or any responsible adult they trusted. I would remind all spectators of any bullying that it's their presence which provides the bully with the audience they need which indirectly encourages the bullying to continue. Without an audience, the bully has their greatest satisfaction removed from the equation. Consequently, the audience can never be innocent in the spectacle and are as complicit as the bully inflicting the injuries.

My advice would be similar to any adult in an abusive relationship; to firstly get yourself out of the abusive situation safely if possible and seek the assistance of trusted others. One way or another, you will need to stand your ground.

I recall one cheeky young boy aged nine who took my advice on board. When I next visited his school, he approached me adopting a very cocky stance and proudly said, 'Thanks for that advice, Mr Forde. It worked a treat. After standing up to my mum and dad, standing up to the rest of the world was easy!'

As a probation officer for twenty-five years, I worked with people who'd been bullied at school and who'd remained 'victimised' ever since; often into adulthood and middle age. Some had been physically hurt, others psychologically wounded, yet all had been emotionally traumatised. The most long-term hurt however, and by far the worse, was surprisingly the name calling and the verbal abuse a child might experience. Paradoxically, it is far better to have one's nose, arm or leg broken by a bully than to have to injure verbal abuse and constant name calling. Whereas body bones mend much quicker, the effects of the verbal taunts can last a lifetime!

For any parent out there whose son or daughter is being bullied at school, you could do worse than buy them one of two books of mine which deal with the theme of 'bullying.' The first is called 'Fighter' and is about a boy with stunted growth. The story is about boxing and football and developing team spirit. The second book is called 'Tales of Bernard' and is about a pack of bullying stray pedigree dogs who run roughshod over a town. This book is suitable for girls or boys, child or adult. As with all my books, the standard of production is high, the costs are kept minimal and all profit is given to charitable causes in perpetuity. The books are in e-book format from www.smashwords.com or in hard copy from www.amazon.com and www.lulu.com.

Whether you buy my book or not, if you are someone who is being bullied, make today the day that you stand up for yourself and start fighting back!" William Forde: October 23rd, 2017.

October 22nd, 2017.

22/10/2017

A photo of my lovely Sheila taken in Wales 4/5 years ago when our love was still producing feelings of insanity in the mad mad world of whirling romance. I enclose one of the early poems I wrote her below:

'What makes me love you.' Copyright: William Forde: 2013.

'You want to know what makes me love you,
I do not have the means to say.
There are no words to match my feelings,
no marriage between what is, what may
have passed between us then,
what weds us to the future now,
what makes me yours, what makes you mine,
what makes my loving you divine.
I just know that I love you.'

William Forde: October 22nd,2017.