Cars For Stars
Between 1990 and 2005, I had been able to persuade over 850 celebrities to visit West Yorkshire and to read from my books to assemblies of schoolchildren. Ironically, getting the celebrity reader was often easier than getting suitable transport to take them to their appointed venues and return afterwards. It reminded me of that iconic image of the great Jimmy Hendrix, sitting on his suitacases, thumbing a lift from a nearby car. I never could have got Jimmy as he died in September 1970, but I did manage to get a number of big stars at this side of the Atlantic to publicly read my books.
While some of these famous readers may have been working within 50 miles of the school venue on the day of their reading, many travelled hundreds of miles at their own expense, simply to undertake my reading invitation to a West Yorkshire school.
While some of these famous readers may have been working within 50 miles of the school venue on the day of their reading, many travelled hundreds of miles at their own expense, simply to undertake my reading invitation to a West Yorkshire school.
Consequently, it would have been churlish of me to have expected them to travel the last miles to their school venue by bus or even taxi, given the amount of trouble and expense they’d already put themselves to on my behalf. And to have collected them in my own old banger just wouldn’t have been ‘the done thing!’
Also, I would have fared no better had I borrowed a car from my three driving brothers, as two were old bangers like mine and the third looked as though it was used for psychedelic parties on a bachelor's night out. Having vowed always to keep my charity fund-raising ventures ‘self-financing,’ anyone who helped me throughout the years, did so for love and no money. I knew that I’d have to come up with many different solutions to fund any necessary project expenses and that sponsorship and public cash appeals might not always prove sufficient in themselves to keep the projects on the road.
One particular week I needed to collect the film star and actress Dora Bryan from her lodgings that was about 25 miles away from the school in Bradford where she was reading from one of my books. Unable to get the type of car I would ideally have liked to have picked her up in, I cleaned my car up the best I could and decided to escort her personally.
Dora was a really down-to-earth person with no airs and graces. She bonded so easily with everyone she met and proved to be an instant success with the children she read to. A couple of hours in her company automatically left one feeling better than if they’d actually fell in the jar and ‘tasted the honey.’ On the way back to where she was lodging, I explained the problem I frequently had pertaining to the acquisition of suitable cars to convey my celebrity readers around in. Within minutes, Dora had supplied me with the answer.
One particular week I needed to collect the film star and actress Dora Bryan from her lodgings that was about 25 miles away from the school in Bradford where she was reading from one of my books. Unable to get the type of car I would ideally have liked to have picked her up in, I cleaned my car up the best I could and decided to escort her personally.
Dora was a really down-to-earth person with no airs and graces. She bonded so easily with everyone she met and proved to be an instant success with the children she read to. A couple of hours in her company automatically left one feeling better than if they’d actually fell in the jar and ‘tasted the honey.’ On the way back to where she was lodging, I explained the problem I frequently had pertaining to the acquisition of suitable cars to convey my celebrity readers around in. Within minutes, Dora had supplied me with the answer.
She said, “I’ve invariably found Bill, that the best way to get a nice car is to get a nice man to go with it.” While Dora may have been talking ‘tongue in cheek’ what she said provided me with the germ of a good idea that I was to successfully use hundreds of times during the years ahead.
I needed to find the man as well as the car!’ After a number of inquiries, I quickly learned of a number of people who would willingly provide me with a constant stream of vintage cars, Rolls Royces or indeed anything that was ever motorised at no monetary charge. Their fee would be to for me to simply allow them to act as the celebrity’s chauffeur for the day and to have their own photograph taken with the star at some point during the proceedings.
I found this solution to be a perfect answer to my problem and the stars who were escorted in style didn’t seem to mind having an additional photograph taken alongside their chauffeur for the day. Within no time at all, I’d amassed a surfeit celebrity car-pool of vintage vehicles to draw from. Other people with such cars also wanted in on the act and started initiating contact with me; requesting that I include them and their cars in the celebrity car-pool also!
Through such means, I was able to have many of the celebrities who read for me chauffeur-driven to their reading venue in cars fit for a star. I recollect having Diana Rigg escorted to her school in the very same colour, model and year of car she had on screen when she starred in ‘The Avengers’ television series during the 80s. I secured a chauffeur, dressed in 1939 clothes to collect Timothy West when he did one of his many readings for me at Mirfield High School. The type of car used for that occasion was the very type, year and colour used by Winston Churchill when he was PM. (Timothy had been playing Winston on our television screens at the time). Similarly, when Christopher Timothy first read for me, he arrived at the school in a car straight out of the world of James Herriot, the tv vet.
I found this solution to be a perfect answer to my problem and the stars who were escorted in style didn’t seem to mind having an additional photograph taken alongside their chauffeur for the day. Within no time at all, I’d amassed a surfeit celebrity car-pool of vintage vehicles to draw from. Other people with such cars also wanted in on the act and started initiating contact with me; requesting that I include them and their cars in the celebrity car-pool also!
Through such means, I was able to have many of the celebrities who read for me chauffeur-driven to their reading venue in cars fit for a star. I recollect having Diana Rigg escorted to her school in the very same colour, model and year of car she had on screen when she starred in ‘The Avengers’ television series during the 80s. I secured a chauffeur, dressed in 1939 clothes to collect Timothy West when he did one of his many readings for me at Mirfield High School. The type of car used for that occasion was the very type, year and colour used by Winston Churchill when he was PM. (Timothy had been playing Winston on our television screens at the time). Similarly, when Christopher Timothy first read for me, he arrived at the school in a car straight out of the world of James Herriot, the tv vet.
One of the most difficult cars to obtain however, turned out to be a Rolls Royce with the registration number of ‘One’, which I eventually secured for Lady Olga Maitland. At the time, Lady Olga was a Conservative MP for Sutton and Cheam and journalist for the Sunday Express. She had embarked upon a campaign to have a thousands of trees planted, and because I wanted the school children to identify with an ecological theme I approved of, she was the most suitable person to read for me in that instance.
I said, “I’ll get your train fare from London to Huddersfield sponsored, get two dozen trees planted and take you to the school in a white Rolls Royce if you’ll read for me ”as a coax, to which the lady replied, “ So I’m the one you want, am I? How about Rolls Royce One then?”
I eventually managed to secure the Rolls that Lady Olga wanted. She came across very much as being a lady who usually got what she wanted out of life. It was therefore no surprise for me to discover that after her political career had ended as an MP, Lady Olga went on to become the Chief Executive Officer of Money Transfer International. Nothing but the best will ever do for this lady!
I eventually managed to secure the Rolls that Lady Olga wanted. She came across very much as being a lady who usually got what she wanted out of life. It was therefore no surprise for me to discover that after her political career had ended as an MP, Lady Olga went on to become the Chief Executive Officer of Money Transfer International. Nothing but the best will ever do for this lady!
One thing about including ‘men of the cloth’ on my list of celebrity readers was that all Bishops have their own chauffeur-driven limousines, and so the readings by the Bishops of Leeds, Wakefield and London didn’t require these services.
The three men of the cloth I used to read for me were all ‘rebels’ in their own way. There was David Konstant, Bishop of Leeds (now retired), David Hope who went on to become Arch Bishop of York, and Nigel McCulloch, then Bishop of Wakefield and now the Bishop of Manchester.
Being a Roman Catholic, I would no doubt have been ‘excommunicated’ had I not always had a Bishop of Leeds on my list of celebrity readers, and being predominantly interested in educational matters, David Konstant was a ‘must have.’
The three men of the cloth I used to read for me were all ‘rebels’ in their own way. There was David Konstant, Bishop of Leeds (now retired), David Hope who went on to become Arch Bishop of York, and Nigel McCulloch, then Bishop of Wakefield and now the Bishop of Manchester.
Being a Roman Catholic, I would no doubt have been ‘excommunicated’ had I not always had a Bishop of Leeds on my list of celebrity readers, and being predominantly interested in educational matters, David Konstant was a ‘must have.’
My admiration for David Hope was instant once I started to recognise ‘the rebel’ in him. There was no ‘grey area’ about this man. I liked him enormously and I went on to respect him more, not because he became the Arch Bishop of York, but because he had the guts to ‘give up’ this post. Not surprisingly, he was eventually made a Life Peer in 2005 after having been appointed Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order (KCVO) in 1995; an honour in the personal gift of the Queen.
Now, Nigel McCulloch is a man after my own heart. I can recall that when I was objecting to the Government policies against the miners, so was he. We both sent letters of protest to Tony Blair at one time or another and we were both vigorously opposed to the treatment handed out to the Iraqi detainees. A highly cultural man who is deeply interested in music and brass bands, Bishop Nigel became one of my favourite readers. He read for me seven or eight times in our schools and was a born natural with the child listener. There has never been a Christmas since 1990 when I haven’t had a card off him and his good wife Celia to adorn my mantle piece. Some friends come and some may go, while others shall always remain constant!
I often muse when I think that David Hope resigned from his post as Arch Bishop of York and I believe that had he not done so, he would have undoubtedly become a future Arch Bishop of Canterbury. I also firmly believe that it would only have been a matter of time for Nigel McCulloch to have become Arch Bishop of either York or Canterbury, had he also desired!
David Konstant, David Hope and Nigel McCulloch; all undoubtedly true men of God who didn’t require a chauffeur-driven car supplied by me. They each knew where they were going in life.
I often muse when I think that David Hope resigned from his post as Arch Bishop of York and I believe that had he not done so, he would have undoubtedly become a future Arch Bishop of Canterbury. I also firmly believe that it would only have been a matter of time for Nigel McCulloch to have become Arch Bishop of either York or Canterbury, had he also desired!
David Konstant, David Hope and Nigel McCulloch; all undoubtedly true men of God who didn’t require a chauffeur-driven car supplied by me. They each knew where they were going in life.
Prunella Scales was, on the other hand, a much different kettle of fish. In many ways, I always found Prunella (who read for me four or five times over the years), a person who wasn’t too dissimilar in real life from the part she’d became famous for on television. Whether I was talking to Sybil from ‘Faulty Towers’ or Prunella Scales, actress and CBE, I could never distinguish. I once recall meeting her off a train at Leeds Railway Station. My very first sight of her was to see her waving a brolly at some poor railway attendant wheeling her luggage as she berated the poor man with the occasional poke.
Right from the word ‘off,’ Prunella impressed as not being a woman to be made light of. She simply refused not to be taken seriously. Like Lady Olga Maitland, she clearly appreciated those little luxuries that life has to offer. She had felt so much at home in the chauffeured vintage car I’d laid on for her the very first time she read for me (a 1922 Rolls Royce Silver Ghost): so much, that thereafter, she gradually came to expect nothing short of a Rolls or something of a vintage variety to take her to her readings.
One particular year when she was due to read for me, Prunella phoned my home the night before the event, just to satisfy herself that she would be collected at her Leeds hotel at 8.15am the next morning by the chauffeured car. She also wanted to know the name of the chauffeur in advance and the car he’d be driving, for purpose of hotel security.
One particular year when she was due to read for me, Prunella phoned my home the night before the event, just to satisfy herself that she would be collected at her Leeds hotel at 8.15am the next morning by the chauffeured car. She also wanted to know the name of the chauffeur in advance and the car he’d be driving, for purpose of hotel security.
I was late home that night and had planned to phone Prunella regarding tomorrow’s details before bedtime and had secured for her the services of a chauffeur-driven 1925 vintage-classic Bentley that I knew she would like being driven in. My ex-wife took the call from Prunella in my absence. “Is Bill there? This is Prunella? Who are you?" Prunella asked when she didn’t receive my own voice at the other end of the phone.
“I’m Fiona,” my wife replied (not at all appreciating the somewhat irate tone of Prunella’s voice). “Bill’s not at home yet,” Fiona added.
“I’m Fiona,” my wife replied (not at all appreciating the somewhat irate tone of Prunella’s voice). “Bill’s not at home yet,” Fiona added.
“Where is he?” Prunella asked in that rather commanding voice that the image of an angry 'Sybil' brings to mind. “He promised to get me a car for tomorrow morning and he hasn’t phoned me yet. He always gets me a chaufeur-driven car whenever I read for him!”
By now, Fiona (who never watched television and would be hard pressed to identify Ena Sharples in a line up with two thin models), was beginning to lose her patience by the second with the perceived aloof manner of Prunella at the other end of the phone line.
“I don’t know where he is or who you are,” Fiona replied, “but I’ll tell him you phoned,” upon which she put the phone down on Prunella.
I phoned Prunela when I eventually got home that night and arranged to collect her the following morning in the 1925 vintage Bentley. The chauffeur drove us from Leeds to a Kirkheaton school in Huddersfield. We travelled the 15 miles distance at a maximum speed of 15 mph and I remember people waving as we passed by. I wasn’t sure whether or not they waved because they recognized Prunella or whether they were simply admiring the car. Anyway, whatever their reason for having waved, Prunella provided all and sundry with a royal wave back!
By now, Fiona (who never watched television and would be hard pressed to identify Ena Sharples in a line up with two thin models), was beginning to lose her patience by the second with the perceived aloof manner of Prunella at the other end of the phone line.
“I don’t know where he is or who you are,” Fiona replied, “but I’ll tell him you phoned,” upon which she put the phone down on Prunella.
I phoned Prunela when I eventually got home that night and arranged to collect her the following morning in the 1925 vintage Bentley. The chauffeur drove us from Leeds to a Kirkheaton school in Huddersfield. We travelled the 15 miles distance at a maximum speed of 15 mph and I remember people waving as we passed by. I wasn’t sure whether or not they waved because they recognized Prunella or whether they were simply admiring the car. Anyway, whatever their reason for having waved, Prunella provided all and sundry with a royal wave back!
That morning, I was launching a new book about a young London evacuee who is sent from King’s Cross Railway Station to the Surrey during the Second World War. Being relatively unacquainted with the area of London, I had needed to do many months research while writing the book. Prunella was reading from the book in assembly when, she suddenly paused and announced in her very best ‘Sybil’ voice, “Well! That’s wrong! It can’t have been Kings Cross that the hero went to Cobham in Surrey from as that’s in the ‘flight path.’ It must have been another station, Bill. You’ve got that wrong!”
I’ve wondered many times since, would she have ever corrected me in public that morning had I only been at home one hour earlier the day previously to have taken her phone call personally? I wonder!
Despite all the ups and downs that inevitably followed many of the stars who read for me in West Yorkshire schools, I’m so pleased that I was there to go along with them for the ride.
Copyright William Forde: April, 2012
Despite all the ups and downs that inevitably followed many of the stars who read for me in West Yorkshire schools, I’m so pleased that I was there to go along with them for the ride.
Copyright William Forde: April, 2012
