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My Books
- Book List & Themes
- Strictly for Adults Novels >
-
Tales from Portlaw
>
- No Need to Look for Love
- 'The Love Quartet' >
-
The Priest's Calling Card
>
- Chapter One - The Irish Custom
- Chapter Two - Patrick Duffy's Family Background
- Chapter Three - Patrick Duffy Junior's Vocation to Priesthood
- Chapter Four - The first years of the priesthood
- Chapter Five - Father Patrick Duffy in Seattle
- Chapter Six - Father Patrick Duffy, Portlaw Priest
- Chapter Seven - Patrick Duffy Priest Power
- Chapter Eight - Patrick Duffy Groundless Gossip
- Chapter Nine - Monsignor Duffy of Portlaw
- Chapter Ten - The Portlaw Inheritance of Patrick Duffy
- Bigger and Better >
- The Oldest Woman in the World >
-
Sean and Sarah
>
- Chapter 1 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
- Chapter 2 - 'The early years of sweet innocence in Portlaw'
- Chapter 3 - 'The Separation'
- Chapter 4 - 'Separation and Betrayal'
- Chapter 5 - 'Portlaw to Manchester'
- Chapter 6 - 'Salford Choices'
- Chapter 7 - 'Life inside Prison'
- Chapter 8 - 'The Aylesbury Pilgrimage'
- Chapter 9 - Sean's interest in stone masonary'
- Chapter 10 - 'Sean's and Tony's Partnership'
- Chapter 11 - 'Return of the Prodigal Son'
- The Alternative Christmas Party >
-
The Life of Liam Lafferty
>
- Chapter One: ' Liam Lafferty is born'
- Chapter Two : 'The Baptism of Liam Lafferty'
- Chapter Three: 'The early years of Liam Lafferty'
- Chapter Four : Early Manhood
- Chapter Five : Ned's Secret Past
- Chapter Six : Courtship and Marriage
- Chapter Seven : Liam and Trish marry
- Chapter Eight : Farley meets Ned
- Chapter Nine : 'Ned comes clean to Farley'
- Chapter Ten : Tragedy hits the family
- Chapter Eleven : The future is brighter
-
The life and times of Joe Walsh
>
- Chapter One : 'The marriage of Margaret Mawd and Thomas Walsh’
- Chapter Two 'The birth of Joe Walsh'
- Chapter Three 'Marriage breakup and betrayal'
- Chapter Four: ' The Walsh family breakup'
- Chapter Five : ' Liverpool Lodgings'
- Chapter Six: ' Settled times are established and tested'
- Chapter Seven : 'Haworth is heaven is a place on earth'
- Chapter Eight: 'Coming out'
- Chapter Nine: Portlaw revenge
- Chapter Ten: ' The murder trial of Paddy Groggy'
- Chapter Eleven: 'New beginnings'
-
The Woman Who Hated Christmas
>
- Chapter One: 'The Christmas Enigma'
- Chapter Two: ' The Breakup of Beth's Family''
- Chapter Three: From Teenager to Adulthood.'
- Chapter Four: 'The Mills of West Yorkshire.'
- Chapter Five: 'Harrison Garner Showdown.'
- Chapter Six : 'The Christmas Dance'
- Chapter Seven : 'The ballot for Shop Steward.'
- Chapter Eight: ' Leaving the Mill'
- Chapter Ten: ' Beth buries her Ghosts'
- Chapter Eleven: Beth and Dermot start off married life in Galway.
- Chapter Twelve: The Twin Tragedy of Christmas, 1992.'
- Chapter Thirteen: 'The Christmas star returns'
- Chapter Fourteen: ' Beth's future in Portlaw'
-
The Last Dance
>
- Chapter One - ‘Nancy Swales becomes the Widow Swales’
- Chapter Two ‘The secret night life of Widow Swales’
- Chapter Three ‘Meeting Richard again’
- Chapter Four ‘Clancy’s Ballroom: March 1961’
- Chapter Five ‘The All Ireland Dancing Rounds’
- Chapter Six ‘James Mountford’
- Chapter Seven ‘The All Ireland Ballroom Latin American Dance Final.’
- Chapter Eight ‘The Final Arrives’
- Chapter Nine: 'Beth in Manchester.'
- 'Two Sisters' >
- Fourteen Days >
-
‘The Postman Always Knocks Twice’
>
- Author's Foreword
- Contents
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- Chapter Twenty-One
- Chapter Twenty-Two
-
Celebrity Contacts
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Thoughts and Musings
- Bereavement >
- Nature >
-
Bill's Personal Development
>
- What I'd like to be remembered for
- Second Chances
- Roots
- Holidays of Old
- Memorable Moments of Mine
- Cleckheaton Consecration
- Canadian Loves
- Mum's Wisdom
- 'Early life at my Grandparents'
- Family Holidays
- 'Mother /Child Bond'
- Childhood Pain
- The Death of Lady
- 'Soldiering On'
- 'Romantic Holidays'
- 'On the roof'
- Always wear clean shoes
- 'Family Tree'
- The importance of poise
- 'Growing up with grandparents'
- Love & Romance >
- Christian Thoughts, Acts and Words >
- My Wedding
- My Funeral
- Audio Downloads
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- Contact Me
Chapter Three
'The early years of Liam Lafferty'
Hetti Lafferty felt blessed to have been afforded another chance to keep the family unit together. The presence of Lucy's child in her life had come at a time when she needed a renewed purpose and meaning for her existence. She should have been a bride, but that experience had clearly escaped her, especially as she was now a confirmed spinster. Now however, with the formal adoption of Liam, she would experience the role and responsibilities of being a mother. She had been previously denied the status of motherhood until her experience with Liam's mother, Lucy had first provided her with the opportunity. That failure seemed to put a final seal on the prospect of her ever being a mother and she resolved to remain a spinster. But now, her great nephew Liam had provided her with one more chance to become a good substitute mother and she entered into the role with new determination and Catholic resolve to make it work out this time.
As young Liam started to grow, the problems he presented for his great aunt were both pleasant and numerous. Whereas his rearing was to prove just as onerous for Hetti as had proved the rearing of his mother, Lucy, it was for much different reasons.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with Liam's brain functioning or intelligence quotient. Whatever the task, whether it be mental, physical or psychological, Liam Lafferty was well up to it. The boy uttered his first word at the age of eight months and it warmed the heart of his aunt to hear her name being distinctly voiced in the family home once more as the child said, 'Etti....E...Etti.' The fact that her name was missing its 'H' did nothing to take away the pleasure from Hetti Lafferty's ears. Liam took his first steps at ten months of age and with the passing of every milestone in the child's development, it was clear to Hetti and the rest of Kilbunny that Liam was as clever as they came and was well in advance of his age in everything he said and did. By the time little Liam was enrolled for attendance at his first school, he could write his name, he was reading as well as any child three or four years his senior and liked to look at his aunt's piano music and tinkle her piano keys. He could also recite both the alphabet and 1-12 mutiplication times-table. He was in short, what Portlaw folk have always known as 'a little smart ass'.
While his great aunt had adopted Liam, she made it quite clear from the moment that he could speak that he call her 'Aunt' and not 'Mother.' While Hetti still believed in part that she'd denied her niece Lucy in her life, she had no intention of ever being thought guilty of denying her the proper status as Liam's mother in death!
There was absolutely nothing wrong with Liam's brain functioning or intelligence quotient. Whatever the task, whether it be mental, physical or psychological, Liam Lafferty was well up to it. The boy uttered his first word at the age of eight months and it warmed the heart of his aunt to hear her name being distinctly voiced in the family home once more as the child said, 'Etti....E...Etti.' The fact that her name was missing its 'H' did nothing to take away the pleasure from Hetti Lafferty's ears. Liam took his first steps at ten months of age and with the passing of every milestone in the child's development, it was clear to Hetti and the rest of Kilbunny that Liam was as clever as they came and was well in advance of his age in everything he said and did. By the time little Liam was enrolled for attendance at his first school, he could write his name, he was reading as well as any child three or four years his senior and liked to look at his aunt's piano music and tinkle her piano keys. He could also recite both the alphabet and 1-12 mutiplication times-table. He was in short, what Portlaw folk have always known as 'a little smart ass'.
While his great aunt had adopted Liam, she made it quite clear from the moment that he could speak that he call her 'Aunt' and not 'Mother.' While Hetti still believed in part that she'd denied her niece Lucy in her life, she had no intention of ever being thought guilty of denying her the proper status as Liam's mother in death!
Problems with Liam's behaviour didn't start to emerge until his eighth year of life, so by the time the problems commenced, his Great Aunt Hetti was shocked to experience a totally unexpected and inexplicable collapse of her high expectations for the boy.
Liam's high level of intelligence had naturally placed him well ahead of all his classmates in all taught subjects. It was therefore only a matter of time before his high performance at school started to isolate him from the affections of other pupils. While still retaining the status of 'the most clever pupil in the class', Liam's mere presence in the school gradually became a psychological barrier for all the other class pupils. It was Liam's hand that was always first in the air to answer the class teacher's questions; it was his answers that were always the ones proudly proclaimed the correct answers and it was Liam alone who commanded the constant praise of all the teachers.
Given all of this, it was hardly surprising to learn that it was also Liam's school property and personal belongings which were always getting damaged, stolen or going missing and it was Liam who rapidly became the most unpopular pupil in the school as the other pupils isolated him from their affections and activities.
Liam's high level of intelligence had naturally placed him well ahead of all his classmates in all taught subjects. It was therefore only a matter of time before his high performance at school started to isolate him from the affections of other pupils. While still retaining the status of 'the most clever pupil in the class', Liam's mere presence in the school gradually became a psychological barrier for all the other class pupils. It was Liam's hand that was always first in the air to answer the class teacher's questions; it was his answers that were always the ones proudly proclaimed the correct answers and it was Liam alone who commanded the constant praise of all the teachers.
Given all of this, it was hardly surprising to learn that it was also Liam's school property and personal belongings which were always getting damaged, stolen or going missing and it was Liam who rapidly became the most unpopular pupil in the school as the other pupils isolated him from their affections and activities.
Initially, Liam became depressed and for a short period he even contemplated allowing himself to get knocked down by a train as he stood in the middle of the lines as it approached. Always at the last moment though, he would change his mind; much to the relief of the stunned train driver. Having been acquainted many times over with the precise circumstances of his outside birth, his Great Aunt Hetti had always described him as being a 'miracle baby' and told him repeatedly that he'd been born to achieve great things. So far, Liam hadn't achieved anything he would have labelled 'great' and hence concluded that his time was yet to come.
Within a few terms of being ostracised and bullied in the classroom, young Liam did what any other young boy with two brains to string together would have done in his circumstances; he ensured that he would fit in with with his classmates better and not stand out as teacher's pet pupil any more!
Within a few terms of being ostracised and bullied in the classroom, young Liam did what any other young boy with two brains to string together would have done in his circumstances; he ensured that he would fit in with with his classmates better and not stand out as teacher's pet pupil any more!
So, during his subsequent years at school he deliberately failed to raise his hand when the teachers pressed the class for answers, even though he knew them. When he wrote an essay, he always included a good number of deliberate misspellings as he could get away with so that he wouldn't educationally stand out. Similarly with arithmetic, he deliberately supplied the wrong answer enough times to ensure that he always emerged in the middle ratings of the class as far as achievement was concerned. If ever he was pressed to publicly answer in class before his class mates, Liam would simply stick his finger in his mouth and say in a stupid and childish tone of voice,' Sorry Miss...... but......I'm not sure......I don't know!' or he would pretend to have fallen asleep at his desk in the middle of the lesson.
Liam Lafferty soon discovered that whereas his former responses had made him the boy least liked in the classroom, his present responses effectively made him much more popular! It didn't take him long to figure out that if only he'd changed his behaviour at school from 'good' to 'bad', his popularity with his classmates would simply shoot up astronomically!
However, Liam Lafferty had been brought up too well by his Great Aunt Hetti to ever behave 'too badly'. It was one thing not to provide the correct answers on purpose, as this specific action didn't harm anyone except his own image in teacher's eyes. However, to behave badly on purpose was never on the cards. To do such would bring shame on his Great Aunt Hetti who loved him dearly, as well as bringing shame upon the family name of 'Lafferty'. So Liam took the next best option; he started to clown about and play tricks on pupils and teachers during the course of his school day, making him more a prankster than a dunce or unruly child. Before long, a common school saying was, 'That Lafferty is good for a laugh!'
Liam Lafferty soon discovered that whereas his former responses had made him the boy least liked in the classroom, his present responses effectively made him much more popular! It didn't take him long to figure out that if only he'd changed his behaviour at school from 'good' to 'bad', his popularity with his classmates would simply shoot up astronomically!
However, Liam Lafferty had been brought up too well by his Great Aunt Hetti to ever behave 'too badly'. It was one thing not to provide the correct answers on purpose, as this specific action didn't harm anyone except his own image in teacher's eyes. However, to behave badly on purpose was never on the cards. To do such would bring shame on his Great Aunt Hetti who loved him dearly, as well as bringing shame upon the family name of 'Lafferty'. So Liam took the next best option; he started to clown about and play tricks on pupils and teachers during the course of his school day, making him more a prankster than a dunce or unruly child. Before long, a common school saying was, 'That Lafferty is good for a laugh!'
Within a matter of less than one year, Liam Lafferty had become the best prankster in school as well as having become the most popular pupil in his class. Never a day went by without hilarity becoming the main lesson of the day for all class attenders to look forward to.
It started with the usual childish pranks of smearing treacle on the toilet seats in the girl's lavatories or putting glue on the door knobs within the school, before advancing to the more mischievous and wicked pranks. Liam liked to place huge live rats inside the teacher's desk or a live rat within the trolley food containers of the dinner ladies. He had often drugged or spiked a teacher's coffee cup when they weren't looking and one particular year when he was in his early teens, he managed to get hold of some examination papers prior to the school exam being sat and coached the bottom three scholars in the class how to emerge as 'Top dog' for once in their lives.
The sheer beauty of Liam's pranks was that while everyone knew they were being cleverly committed, and in all probability by Liam, few knew or could prove that it was Liam who was the prankster! The last prank that Liam perpetrated on his school teachers was on the day he formally left school to start his working life.
It started with the usual childish pranks of smearing treacle on the toilet seats in the girl's lavatories or putting glue on the door knobs within the school, before advancing to the more mischievous and wicked pranks. Liam liked to place huge live rats inside the teacher's desk or a live rat within the trolley food containers of the dinner ladies. He had often drugged or spiked a teacher's coffee cup when they weren't looking and one particular year when he was in his early teens, he managed to get hold of some examination papers prior to the school exam being sat and coached the bottom three scholars in the class how to emerge as 'Top dog' for once in their lives.
The sheer beauty of Liam's pranks was that while everyone knew they were being cleverly committed, and in all probability by Liam, few knew or could prove that it was Liam who was the prankster! The last prank that Liam perpetrated on his school teachers was on the day he formally left school to start his working life.
Liam had previously got wind of the illicit romantic meetings between two of the school teachers; both of whom were married, but neither to each other! The sports teacher Tommy Farhar obviously had the hots for geography teacher, Melissa More, a sheer stunner in her late twenties who would have won any beauty contest with ease and who made all the male pulses in the school race without exception.
Even the parish priest who used to start assembly prayers on a morning could often be observed having the odd stray glance in Melissa More's direction whenever he thought the coast was clear.
Even the parish priest who used to start assembly prayers on a morning could often be observed having the odd stray glance in Melissa More's direction whenever he thought the coast was clear.
The couple of married teachers had been having a liaison for over one year and used to get together at the end of every school term in the gym locker room for some extra curricular activity. Shortly after this mutual attraction of the teachers had started, Liam had accidently stumbled across them making love in the gym locker room. Fortunately for him, the couple were too far into each other to hear or notice his concealed presence. After Liam had discovered their secret meetings, he planned to photograph the couple without their knowledge from his position of vantage at some future date.
This was to be his last prank at the Portlaw school and so he planned it down to its final detail. The usual pattern of the couple's secret contact was as follows. On the last day of every school term, both pupils and teachers all wanted to get off as quickly as possible and start their much needed break. On the days in question, both teachers would hang on until the others had left before making their own way to the gym locker room. Once there, the door would be locked and a 'love in' would begin. Because the gym was an exceedingly loud place during boisterous school lessons, it was the one room which had sound-proofed walls and doors within the school premises. Consequently, once locked inside, the couple could make as much noise as they wanted and even somebody stood immediately outside the door couldn't hear them or know of their presence.
This was to be his last prank at the Portlaw school and so he planned it down to its final detail. The usual pattern of the couple's secret contact was as follows. On the last day of every school term, both pupils and teachers all wanted to get off as quickly as possible and start their much needed break. On the days in question, both teachers would hang on until the others had left before making their own way to the gym locker room. Once there, the door would be locked and a 'love in' would begin. Because the gym was an exceedingly loud place during boisterous school lessons, it was the one room which had sound-proofed walls and doors within the school premises. Consequently, once locked inside, the couple could make as much noise as they wanted and even somebody stood immediately outside the door couldn't hear them or know of their presence.
So Liam concealed himself in his hidey hole as soon as the final term bell sounded and armed with his camera, he patiently waited for the two lovers to appear. Mellisa More was the first inside the locker room and she used the five-minute wait before Tommy Farhar arrived to loosen up her undergarments so that no time would be wasted. When Tommy Farhar arrived, the couple smiled at each other and gave out a raucous laugh of triumph before they began to strip off hurriedly.They acted like passionate animals on heat and after tearing off each other's garments, frenzied hands started sinking their finger nails into the flesh of their lover.
Liam waited in his hidey hole until the couple were each fully unclothed and then took a snap shot of their naked embrace before they got down to more amorous activity. Liam quickly and quietly left his hidey hole while the two lovers were ascending the heights of their passion. On his way out of the school, Liam entered the Headmaster's Office and used the school phone to contact the local fire station.
Liam waited in his hidey hole until the couple were each fully unclothed and then took a snap shot of their naked embrace before they got down to more amorous activity. Liam quickly and quietly left his hidey hole while the two lovers were ascending the heights of their passion. On his way out of the school, Liam entered the Headmaster's Office and used the school phone to contact the local fire station.
Disguising his voice in a more masculine and adult tone, Liam said, "Fire! Fire in the gym at 'Portlaw National School.' Come quickly. I think there are people inside the locker room and they can't get out. Come quickly before it's too late for them!"
Before they could ask for the identity of the caller, Liam put the phone back down on the receiver and before leaving the school premises he smashed the fire alarm glass, which set off the loud signal of the presence of a fire.
By the time that two fire engines arrived some five minutes later the two teachers were hard at it and were wholly oblivious to the commotion that was taking place outside the doors of the school gym. Meanwhile, the Headmaster and his deputy had been called back to the school and waited outside, alongside most of the school pupils and other school staff who'd heard the news and had rushed back to see the blaze in progress.
The fire brigade did their job as efficiently as Liam had anticipated that they would, and after using their hatchets to open the locked gym door they quickly entered the locker room. They discovered no fire to be present on school premises; only two naked teachers behind passionately steamed-up glass in the locker-room with the delicious Miss More and her muscular lover looking to have had their fill.
Half of Portlaw was on hand to witness the two blanketed teachers being led away by the Garda to answer a few questions. Liam smiled broadly by the side of the school gates as his gym teacher and Mellissa More were escorted away in shame to the applause and mutterings of many of the onlookers.
While it was sheer gas to Liam to have successfully brought off this final school prank, he nevertheless did feel guilty when he later discovered that the two lovers had eventually left their marriages after having been found-out. It was later reported that they'd gone away together to set up a boarding house in Tipperary.
While it was sheer gas to Liam to have successfully brought off this final school prank, he nevertheless did feel guilty when he later discovered that the two lovers had eventually left their marriages after having been found-out. It was later reported that they'd gone away together to set up a boarding house in Tipperary.
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