Next, we wish happy birthday to Alison Merrick who lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire: Mike O Hara who lives in the Shetland Islands: Dympna Brophy who lives in Waterford, Ireland: Martina -Pinkney who lives in the Shire of Poulton le Fylde: Lynnettye Skelton Birch who lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire, England. I hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day.
My song today is ‘Before You Accuse Me’. This song was written and originally recorded by the rock pioneer Bo Diddley in 1957. The composer credits are listed as his real name: Ellas McDaniel. Eric Clapton released the song as the B-side of ‘Bad Love’, the first single from Journeyman.
Whenever I hear this song or term, it reminds me of the biblical words by Jesus in John: 8:7 “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”. I have known several people who are always too quick to criticise others and to point the finger. As a behaviourist, I have always suspected that such critical display stems more from their own upbringing than the fault they are highlighting in another. Perhaps when they were the child, they may have been the family scapegoat whose parents would be first to criticise.
Being criticised can be a tough thing to handle (even though it sometimes can be very useful to help you grow or improve something you do). Any fool can criticise, but it takes character, understanding, and respect for one’s fellow-being to demonstrate by other means. It is far better to appropriately 'point out' instead of marking down. The more one criticises, the less one is moved by the finer qualities of life. A favourite author of mine, Norman Vincent Peale once remarked, “The trouble with most of us is that we'd rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
There are many people lacking in self-confidence who just do not possess the strength of character to receive criticism, however, constructively the criticism is given. Their absence of confidence and feelings of insecurity finish up with them believing that they are being persecuted.
I once got told by a wise friend that a good way of reducing one’s criticism, especially where it is questionable to make the criticism in the first place, is to first ask oneself the question, ”Have I ever done anything worst than that, or behaved more badly?” If one has, then criticism is very unwise unless it is constructive and is absolutely necessary, and runs the risk of being unjust or unwarranted.
I was never to experience this dilemma anyway because whenever I asked myself if I had ever done anything worse than the person whom I was tempted to criticise, the answer would invariably come back with a resounding ‘yes!'
Love and peace