We wish a happy birthday to Siobhan Russell, Tender Ryan, and Anne Howard who live in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Jenny O Shea who originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in Piltown, Kilkenny, Ireland: Regina Sali who also originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in London, England: Helen Croke, who also originates from Carrick-on-Suir but who now lives in Waterford, Ireland. We hope that the birthday brigade enjoys their special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.
My song today is ‘I Know (You Don't Love Me No More)’ is an R&B song written and recorded by American R&B singer Barbara George. It was released as her debut single in 1961. It became her signature song, and her only major hit in the United States, reaching Number 1 on the ‘Billboard R&B Singles' chart and Number 3 in the Billboard Hot 100’.
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Whoever we are, or however little we pretend that we care, when it comes to perceive that we have been ‘rejected’ each of us cares. None of us likes to feel that we have not come up to scratch and that we have failed to reach the expectations of another, or worse still, that we have lost their affection for good.
If there is one phrase that jars my senses each time I hear it, it is ‘Getting dumped!’ Getting jilted, or having one’s relationship break up, or calling it a day and deciding that you are not the ideal match you hoped you might have been can all hurt, but ‘Getting dumped’ not only stabs one’s senses to the quick, but it twists the serrated knife in. The mere term ‘dumped’ implies being discarded and put out of sight like human rubbish being binned, something that is unwanted and ‘gone off’.
As a romantic teenager, more years ago than I can now remember, ‘breaking up’ rarely affected me, largely because I was usually the one who did the breaking off. It wasn’t that I fancied myself to be too good for the young women with whom I went out, it was because I had my plans set out for my years 21-25, and I was determined not to upset the applecart of expectations. I did not wish to date seriously in my teens or become emotionally involved beyond the commitment of a single man, or to get married before my late twenties had arrived. My plans were to live in Canada and to travel the states before I returned to England to settle down to a life of domesticity.
While I did not object to (and liked) the experience of ‘falling’ in love, ‘being’ in love carried too much responsibility and emotional commitment with it to make me feel comfortable. I was always truthful and honest with my dates when we met, and I never wanted to deceive them as to my true intentions. I lived in an era where the prime preoccupation of most young women was to get married to a good man of reliable character before they had passed 21 years of age. Many young brides would have parented their second child before they had reached their mid-twenties, and most young men would have wanted to settle down with a good woman and a regular job with good prospects instead of living with their parents. I never wanted to lead any young lady up the garden path by giving her unrealistic expectations, let alone walk her down the wedding aisle!
I was a young man who wanted to have the kind of fun that I could legitimately have now, and which I would never have again once I had married and settled down. I know that many people may hold the view that I wanted my cake and eat it, but, put simply, yes! I did. To make love with another of similar mind is marvellous. To make friends with a person of the opposite sex and to remain friends after the physical side of that relationship is over exceeds everything that is platonic. To have a companion of adventure, fun, and exploration is also wonderful. Any of these experiences fulfil and excites, but to experience all three in the same person blows one’s mind! It is a backpacker’s dream.
Life is but a sequence of different relations between man and woman in the making, and life remains good as long as you remain good to all these relationships. Trust in self and respect all others and one will not go astray too often, as emotional unsettledness only arises after one person in the couple says one thing but comes to mean another.
Love and peace
Bill xxx