Thought for today:
"When faced with a normal situation, most of us know instinctively what to do. Even in dire and life-threatening situations, one doesn't have to think twice. If the house is on fire to the rafters, you get all your loved ones together and get out quick! When crossing a busy road, if a runaway lorry is fast approaching you at 100 miles an hour, you get out of the way.
There are, however, those niggling situations in life where a decision needs to be made regarding how to provide the right response, but where you have to think twice how to respond, and where truth is rarely bold enough to show its real colours.
It can be as frivolous as, 'Do I eat the last biscuit on the plate?' or it can even be more personal where you know a refusal may cause offence. Imagine that a good friend of yours needs a temporary loan and you help them out with £20. She pays you back the following week, but then one week later asks for a similar loan. You oblige again, and again your friend's response is like the previous occasion. After this exercise of loaning and repaying between you and your friend has gone on for months, you don't know who the £20 really belongs to as it exchanges hands weekly, and more importantly, you don't really know if you are helping your friend or just ensuring that she never alters.
I once knew a chap who really liked his mother-in-law and hadn't a bad word to say about her, except she always insisted on knitting him jumpers for birthdays and Chrismas's which never fitted him or in a style or colour he would never think of wearing. Each year he would graciously accept the jumper with a loving smile and he would even get one out of the drawer and wear it for show if he knew that his mother-in-law was coming round for tea. Each time he was presented with his present, his mother-in-law would look at him and ask, 'I hope you like it, Roger?' to which Roger would reply, 'It's simply smashing, Mum! Just what I needed!'
Then, there is always the husband whose wife asks. 'How do I look in this dress, Dear? Does it make my bottom look big?' The husband knows deep down that the dress is fine and that it's his wife's bottom that's too big and no dress could possibly make it look any smaller, but replies, 'It looks fine Dear'.
Or God forbid if you find yourself in a relationship/marriage that has run its course. What do you say when your partner next turns to you in bed and kisses you 'Goodnight' and tells you that he/she loves you before you settle down to sleep. Do you pretend to love him/her back because they are a good person? Because he/she is a good person that you are married to, do they deserve to hear the truth?
When all loving feeling has left a marriage/relationship and is unlikely to return, what do you do? Your children to the marriage are still in their early teens. The wife/husband you no longer love is a good person and good parent. There is no issue between you, never has been except you've lost all loving feeling for them and despite all efforts to make things better, you know you will never feel the same about them again. You have met someone else who lights up your life every time you see them. You have not started an affair and hate the very idea of having one behind the back of your spouse. You don't know what to do for the best.
If you stay with your spouse, you will not be able to conceal your true feelings when they touch you affectionately. You cannot pretend any longer and now cringe at their touch. When they lovingly kiss you, do you turn your face away or fake a kiss of endearment in return?
Sometimes, to be bold, to be brave, to be true and to be you, is more hurtful to do than to break the wings of the butterfly on the wheel of truth." William Forde , April 8th, 2018.
"When faced with a normal situation, most of us know instinctively what to do. Even in dire and life-threatening situations, one doesn't have to think twice. If the house is on fire to the rafters, you get all your loved ones together and get out quick! When crossing a busy road, if a runaway lorry is fast approaching you at 100 miles an hour, you get out of the way.
There are, however, those niggling situations in life where a decision needs to be made regarding how to provide the right response, but where you have to think twice how to respond, and where truth is rarely bold enough to show its real colours.
It can be as frivolous as, 'Do I eat the last biscuit on the plate?' or it can even be more personal where you know a refusal may cause offence. Imagine that a good friend of yours needs a temporary loan and you help them out with £20. She pays you back the following week, but then one week later asks for a similar loan. You oblige again, and again your friend's response is like the previous occasion. After this exercise of loaning and repaying between you and your friend has gone on for months, you don't know who the £20 really belongs to as it exchanges hands weekly, and more importantly, you don't really know if you are helping your friend or just ensuring that she never alters.
I once knew a chap who really liked his mother-in-law and hadn't a bad word to say about her, except she always insisted on knitting him jumpers for birthdays and Chrismas's which never fitted him or in a style or colour he would never think of wearing. Each year he would graciously accept the jumper with a loving smile and he would even get one out of the drawer and wear it for show if he knew that his mother-in-law was coming round for tea. Each time he was presented with his present, his mother-in-law would look at him and ask, 'I hope you like it, Roger?' to which Roger would reply, 'It's simply smashing, Mum! Just what I needed!'
Then, there is always the husband whose wife asks. 'How do I look in this dress, Dear? Does it make my bottom look big?' The husband knows deep down that the dress is fine and that it's his wife's bottom that's too big and no dress could possibly make it look any smaller, but replies, 'It looks fine Dear'.
Or God forbid if you find yourself in a relationship/marriage that has run its course. What do you say when your partner next turns to you in bed and kisses you 'Goodnight' and tells you that he/she loves you before you settle down to sleep. Do you pretend to love him/her back because they are a good person? Because he/she is a good person that you are married to, do they deserve to hear the truth?
When all loving feeling has left a marriage/relationship and is unlikely to return, what do you do? Your children to the marriage are still in their early teens. The wife/husband you no longer love is a good person and good parent. There is no issue between you, never has been except you've lost all loving feeling for them and despite all efforts to make things better, you know you will never feel the same about them again. You have met someone else who lights up your life every time you see them. You have not started an affair and hate the very idea of having one behind the back of your spouse. You don't know what to do for the best.
If you stay with your spouse, you will not be able to conceal your true feelings when they touch you affectionately. You cannot pretend any longer and now cringe at their touch. When they lovingly kiss you, do you turn your face away or fake a kiss of endearment in return?
Sometimes, to be bold, to be brave, to be true and to be you, is more hurtful to do than to break the wings of the butterfly on the wheel of truth." William Forde , April 8th, 2018.
