I dedicate my song today to Dave Rendle who lives in Cardigan, Ceredigion, UK and Cindy Solberg who lives in Denver, North Carolina, U.S.A. Both Dave and Cindy celebrate their birthdays today. I hope that your special day is the most enjoyable. Incidentally, one way of making your special day a little bit more memorable than usual is to make a new Facebook friend with a person with whom you share something important; your birthday!
My song today is ‘Baby I’m-a Want You’ which was recorded by Bread in their fourth album which was released in 1972. It reached Number 3 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart.
Whenever I hear this song that begins with the words and sentiment, ‘I want you. I need you’ it always reminds me that as far as the body is concerned ‘needs must be met’ or something bad is going to be felt if they aren’t. This song always reinforces my long-held belief regarding the importance of our self-talk which every individual engages in constantly throughout our day. We may not be consciously aware that we are self-talking but take it from me that we are.
Self-talk is essentially the way we reinforce ourselves. It is the way we strengthen our resolve when we are determined to do anything, and it is also the foundation and cornerstone of our belief system. When we use terms like “You ‘must’ do this” because we have used the term ‘must’ we automatically signal to our brain and body that if we don’t follow through with our ‘must’, something bad will inevitably happen! For instance, saying that ‘Something ‘might ‘ happen is a rational alternative of signalling that “something ‘may’ happen”, but saying that “something ‘must’ happen’ signals that it ‘has’ to happen and if it doesn’t happen then we shall automatically feel bad! The same is true with words like ‘should’. Whereas we can stick with being rational by saying, “I would prefer it if you did this”, or “I don’t want you to do this, or “ I would not like it if you did this.” However, we then move to irrational self-talk when we say,‘ ”You should do this” because the word ‘should’ carries with it the automatic implication and consequence of what will happen ‘if’ we do not do that which we ‘should’ do!
Keep tabs on your self-talk as saying making irrational statements inside one’s head is just a harmful way of telling oneself untruths about what is or isn’t, or what will or won’t be! It leads to our thoughts and actions becoming emotionally exaggerated, leaving us with a wrong perspective of the situation we are a part of, and feeling much worse than how we ought to feel. It can also lead us to become emotionally disturbed unless the inaccurate things we tell ourselves are stopped in their track and are corrected by exchanging our irrational exaggerated, untrue and unverifiable statements for ones of a rational, truthful and verifiable nature.
Never forget that it is the thoughts in our brain which instruct the muscles in our body how to respond. There are only two body muscle instructions that our brain ever issues; relax or tense up! Never forget that it is our self-talk that directs and strengthens the messages we direct our brain to tell our body muscles. Never forget that (apart from a few exceptions) irrational beliefs harm our body and produces exaggerated emotional behaviour, while rational beliefs are helpful, and it is our self-talk which determines our beliefs. Never forget that our patterns of behaviour which either help or hinder us, make us happier or sadder in our daily lives, make our responses more rational or irrational always begins with our thoughts, which determine our feelings, which determine our action. Thoughts-Feelings-Action. The only way that our body can change what and how we do, and how we feel about what and how we do ‘is to change our thinking’.
The paragraph typed above represents the entire knowledge I acquired in over 50 years of reading, studying, practise and learning to help change a person’s thoughts, feelings or actions for the better.
Love and peace Bill xxx