We wish a happy birthday to Amanda Bradbury from Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. Amanda's husband, David Bradbury was the illustrated of my two best-selling children's books in the 1990s called 'Sleezy the Fox' and 'Douglas the Dragon' that sold in their tens of thousands. We also wish a happy birthday to Bridget Power who was born in the same village as me (Portlaw) and who lives in Waterford, Ireland. Our final birthday celebrant today is Christine Mountney, who lives in Rustington, West Sussex. Enjoy your special day, Amanda, Bridget, and Christine. And thank you for being my Facebook friend.
We also celebrate the 54th wedding anniversary of a wonderful Cleckheaton couple, Tom and Ann Rhodes. Tom is an army veteran and Ann is his ex-army wife. The couple has three grown children and is the proud grandparents of five grandchildren. Like myself, both Tom and Ann have had their fair share of health issues, and it is fair to say that any Christmas in recent years could so easily have been our ‘last Christmas’. Twenty years ago, Ann incurred a massive heart attack which almost killed her, and 19 years ago, I also incurred two heart attacks in the same week, the second of which resulted in me being unconscious for four days. The families of both Ann and mine were each told to prepare for our imminent death. In 2013, both Tom and me we were diagnosed with a terminal illness. Tom was given a life expectancy of 18 months and I was given a maximum of 3 years. So, it could be legitimately said that all three of us have been living on borrowed time for many years now, and given our medical histories, we each approach every Christmas with gratitude of having reached another annual landmark in our lives. You know, although we have only met once face-to-face when a happily married couple is in the presence of another married couple who are just as happy in their relationship, there is no disguising the joy of a successful marriage. Enjoy your special day Tom and Ann, and may you have many more.
My seasonal song today is ‘Last Christmas’. This is a song by English pop duo ‘Wham!’ The song was released in December 1984. It was written and produced by George Michael and has been covered by many artists since its original release. The song reached Number 1 in Denmark, Slovenia, and Sweden and Number 2 in eight countries: Belgium, Netherlands, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Norway, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. Wham! donated all their royalties to the Ethiopian famine. In a UK-wide poll in December 2012, it was voted eighth on the ITV television special ‘The Nation’s Favourite Christmas Song’. It was the most-played Christmas song of the 21st century in the UK until it was overtaken by ‘Fairytale of New York’ in 2015.
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One of the things about having three different body cancers (blood, bottom, and skin), with the strong possibility of having another life-saving cancer operation in the new year (making the 8th cancer operation and 40 sessions of radiotherapy I will have had in the past 27 months) is that one cannot take tomorrow for granted. Instead. I have had to learn to live in the moment. I receive moral support from hundreds of people, and I seriously doubt that few individuals have ever felt so privileged as I do, and have grown to feel over the past seven years, or has had as many prayers and masses said on their behalf, and church candles lit by people across the world they will never meet.
I have always loved the season of Christmas for its social and religious pleasures and observances. I love seeing other people in a happy frame of mind as they go about their busy lives preparing for Christmas Day and Boxing Day and having their family get-togethers. There is something special in the skies each Christmas as the world is reminded of the real reason for a seasonal celebration. I love to think that somewhere in the world, someone who was an enemy of someone else yesterday is prepared to soften their hearts and be more friendly towards them today, just because of the promise of a new-born star.
As each Christmas has come around ever since early 2013 when I was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer, I have always approached it, never fearing that it would be my last Christmas, whilst never really knowing if it might be. That is why each Christmas will grow more meaningful and special to me with the passing of every year. Indeed, every day in heaven is Christmas Day!
We all want something extra at Christmas time. Some of us desire a more reliable car, others a new job in the New Year. Some young married couples starting a family want to move to a larger house, while countless homeless families would be happy to live in any kind of house which they could call their own. Most children wish for their favourite present this year, while some starving children in impoverished parts of the world won’t even know it is Christmas, and the best thing they could be given on Christmas morning would be a bowl of cereal and a piece of dry bread!
Then, there will be those bereaved individuals like my wife Sheila, whose only sibling, Winston, died this year, sadly before his time, along with many others who have lost loved ones and lifelong soul mates during the past year, or simply observe their empty chair each Christmas time. And not forgetting that army of lonely people; individuals who live alone with no real support systems, people who experienced past happy relationships with a mate (and for whatever reason) sadly ended. Let us spare a thought for those lonely individuals who are fed up with living alone, coming home at the end of a working day to an empty house, eating meals-for-one, having no other company than oneself and the television or radio to ‘talk back to’, and ending one’s day by sleeping alone and obtaining whatever comfort can be derived from cuddling or crying into one’s pillow. Imagine how much happier such lonely people’s lives could be if Santa left them a man or woman under the tree with whom to share the rest of their life. I very much suspect that some people who are fed up to the teeth of their own company would even appreciate the trial period of ‘a mate’, even if they had to return their extra present after the Christmas festivities had ended!
What do I want for Christmas? To live to see another Christmas arrive would suit me just fine thank you very much! However, on a more somber note, if I could choose the best time to die, I would ask to die during the last week of December, after I have enjoyed my ‘last Christmas’ with those whom I love most. I have often heard bereaved spouses say that Christmas is the worst time of the year to lose a loved one. For me, I believe that any time, any day, any minute, any moment in any person’s life is neither better nor worse than any other time to grieve the loss of someone you love. For every negative reason that anyone can come up with for believing that to die on such and such a day would be a bad day to die, I’d simply challenge them to select a better day, if possible!
I have never been afraid of dying since the age of 11 years and have believed every year thereafter to have represented ‘borrowed time’ that I have been living on. There has never been one day in my life when I have wanted to die. I cannot envisage ever wanting to give up the struggle to survive another day, whatever pain level I must endure. To me, pain is a positive feeling, because if there is anything concrete in our experiences that represent ‘being alive’, then surely it must be 'pain'?
I have always felt that there is still more work to do for me to do before I shuffle off my mortal coil and having important things still to do tomorrow each day I retire, gives one extra incentive for the sleeping brain and body to wake up the following morning. None of us will ever know the purpose of our life until we discover ‘what is worth dying for?’
Meanwhile, I have no fear of dying, and whatever inconvenience and pain I need to endure, as long as I can remain happy with being alive, I will keep going to bed content each night with the expectation of waking up again tomorrow morning. The simple fact of life is that no one on earth has ever been promised a tomorrow or ever will be.
I have long known that being happy is so personal a thing that it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. I know that it is ‘me’ who determines my happiness; I and nobody else! I am also of the view that if we trust our feelings about what is right or wrong, we will always recognise the truth by the way things instinctively feel. I have come to learn that there is value in all friendship, and to keep closer to me those individuals who bring pleasure and poetry into my life as opposed to pain, pity, and concern. I know that if we make our lives an event of celebration instead of an accident waiting to happen, we will more likely feel blessed for today than apologetic for yesterday. I have always found that pragmatism was infinitely better than procrastination when on the move. When seeking to get things done, doing what is possible is more achievable when we forget the six reasons why something cannot be done and remember the one reason why it can/will.
I once read that life is made up of lots of ‘waiting’ and very little ‘arrival’ at destinations. I believe that sentiment to be true, but I also believe that what we become ‘in the process of our waiting’ is far more important to our development of character than ‘what we are waiting for’. We have all heard that the journey of life is always more interesting than at the ultimate point of arrival. I am 78 years old now but know that my life’s ultimate destination grows closer each passing month/year of travel. As a Christian, I naturally believe that dying is never about the ending, and as an author of 64 published books, I believe it is always about the story that proceeds our passing from this life to the next. The legacy we all leave when we die is to be found in the way we lived, and never in the manner of our death.
We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Love and peace.
Bill and Sheila xxx