"Today, my son William and Eve get married in Poland. I wish my son and my new daughter-in-law a happy and enriching union over the years ahead.
As for marital advice Son, having tied the knot on three occasions, I am not the most appropriate of persons to give you the best pointers on 'How best to make it work out.' However, I have learned so much from my many mistakes that it would be remiss of me not to pass on that knowledge to you and thereby hopefully avoid repetition.
If ever I was tempted to advise you Son, I would confine my pointers to five aspects of life in general that can impact upon the quality of a marriage:
(1) I know that you are now 30 years old, but don't ever grow up; it's a trap!
(2)Whatever your wife cooks for you, eat with a smile and with the full knowledge that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger!
(3)The moment you've placed that ring upon her finger, however much she loves you, she will still try to change you. She will expect you to change this and change that, etc. etc. In this, you must forever remain stronger in resistance than she is in persuasion. Simply tell her that if isn't from Yorkshire, then it's crap. Being born in Poland, she will have no answer to that!
(4)Be prepared after the first seven years of marriage when comfort eating will set in. It's called comfort eating for a very good reason; the mouth cannot be filled with both food and venom at the same time or else it will spit one out. You will also notice a distinct difference in both your waistlines. That once-flat stomach you each possessed rippling with ab madness and muscular invitation every time you hit the beach, will have gradually taken on a new life of its own. All future skinny dipping will be forgotten and in will come chunky dunking!
(5) As you grow older together, you will have many disagreements as all humans naturally do. Whenever things get too soiled to handle gently, always remember that there is only one place for dirty laundry; in the washer and not on face book!
I give you these few thoughts Son on one of the most important days of your life. It is our fervent wish that as a couple, you and Eve are never found stinting in the giving and receiving of each other's love. Love is the most enduring of all emotions, and true love lasts; even beyond marriage and the final breath of life itself. I love you both. Dad Forde: September 21st, 2013.