"This morning I awoke to discover that someone has been trying to hack into my Facebook account and steal my identity. So long as my Facebook friends continue to use their common sense and not renew friendship requests with someone whom they are already friends or send me requested details of their bank accounts or large loans of money to seek some magical treatment for my incurable condition, I do not imagine that anything more than inconvenience and greater future vigilance is required to carry on daily living without fear. Besides, it could prove to be an inherent contradiction in the action of the imposter to get away with their deed unnoticed. Should another imposter try to become 'me' to my Facebook contacts, there will be little point as he/she will only get away with their 'deceit' if they are prepared to remain totally 'honest' in the process.
You see, there comes a time in everyone's life when concealment runs its course and it's time to come clean and stop hiding the truth. It may seem not so great a thing to be honest but believe me, pure honesty is a rarity which few are prone to express in unvarnished form. As a general, rule almost everything we think and say are rarely perfect in match. We tend to tell little white lies or euphemise to make the finished product more palatable and presentable to others. As we behave thus, we tell ourselves that it's because we are sensitive and care about the other's person's feelings, when in truth it is our own sensitivity and feelings how our words will be received that govern our action.
As a young boy, I was always fascinated by the American folklore about George Washington who reportedly couldn't tell a lie. Of the many sins which I was capable of committing, I could probably resist all with the exception of not always telling the truth. I don't know what it is with children in particular, but being caught red handed in the act or finding oneself in a corner automatically tends to bring out the dishonest self in us.
I recall that around the age of 39 years old after my first marriage had ended, one Saturday night, me and another male friend decided to go dancing at the Mecca in Bradford. The Mecca on a Saturday night was renown as the place where 'a good time' was had by all, and unless you had been stood at the back of the queue when handsome features were being passed out, nobody ever had cause to go home at the end of the night alone. Consequently, in the belief that we would both finish up with a female companion at the end of the night, we each took our own cars to the dance.
The dance ended and we each finished up taking our respective female partners home at the end of the night. To be perfectly honest, that night as I drove my dance partner home, I had but one predominant thought in my head which involved the separation of her from some of her undergarments. My partner was a nice young woman, very attractive, aged around her late twenties and very talkative. For most of our journey to her house she spoke freely about some of her bad life experiences and while I was naturally attentive and sensitive in my replies, I was being partly dishonest in self and covertly disrespectful of her situation by focussing upon my own prime objective instead of her predominant feelings.
You see, we each had distinctly different needs at the time which we sought to be satisfied. Hers was predominantly to talk and talk and get things off her chest while my immediate needs were more physical and could be said to also have involved 'getting things off her chest.' The evening ended as I had hoped it would when I first set off for the dance and I did not see the young woman again.
At the time I was employed as a Probation Officer in Huddersfield and a large part of my work involved listening to, empathising with, advising and counselling people with whom I worked. The evening after the dance while I was at work, I thought back about the previous night's events. The feelings I was left with though were not those of pride or satisfaction. There were no triumphant feelings about having 'made out' with a beautiful young woman whom I'd met a few hours earlier at the Mecca. To put it bluntly, I felt a bit of a shit and deservedly so!
The more I thought about the needs of the young woman at the time, the more I knew that I had sadly neglected them at worse or put them on the back burner at best. That day in my 39th year of life I promised myself that in future I would be up front and honest in all my dealings with man, woman or child, whatever the inconvenience caused to both them and me.
I will not pretend for one moment that adopting this behaviour consistently has been easy. It hasn't and requires constant practise to establish an automatic honest response. In some ways, being totally honest about what I say doesn't always meet with the approval of all, especially in those situations where one is more naturally expected to be more sparing with the truth in case the other person cannot take it.
Since that day thirty four years ago, I have, to the best of my knowledge always remained truthful and though sometimes hard, I have always felt better for it. In the main, most people can live easier with the truth and are prepared to accept you as being the person you purport to be if you remain truthful. That is why today in my posts I am able to be myself in all respects and express personal details about my past and truths which identify my flaws as a human being. I know that many of you feel such truths make me vulnerable and perhaps in some measure they do, but all I can say is that being truthful sits more comfortable with the person I now am and makes me more comfortable in my own skin. There is a form of liberation of the spirit that only true nakedness can bring!" William Forde: November 30th, 2015.