"I wish all of my Facebook friends a very happy St. Patrick's Day. While I often dare to venture onto many topics during my daily 'Thought for today' and regard no area of consideration or proper discussion as being 'taboo,' I rarely publish a joke. Here's one which I came across last year and now include for all my Irish compatriots:
THE IRISH PROSTITUTE
An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what yer put ye old Mother through?'
The girl, crying, replied, 'Dad... I became a lowly prostitute.'
'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Ye hussy, ye sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family. Get out and never show your face round here again! You're no daughter of mine. Begone with ye!'
'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a five million euros savings certificate. For me little brother, I have this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy who could never afford a car, there's the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a ten-year membership to the country club. I'd also like to extend an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'
'What was it ye said ye had become?' asks Dad.
'A prostitute, Daddy!' the girl cries, 'A lowly prostitute.'
'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a lowdown Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug. It's fair grand to see you again!"
William Forde: March 17th, 2016.