
" Today is Saint Patrick's Day and being born an Irish man I wish all of you English, Scots and Welsh, 'The top of the morning.' I realise that if I want to remain happy myself, I must resign myself to seeing others happy also, even if they weren't born on the Emerald Isle. So let me make you all a bit happier by revealing a secret in order that you shall at least better understand something which all Irish men are constantly being asked. The Guinness that is exported to England and other foreign places is not the same quality of Guinness that a customer buys in Ireland. The Irish have always saved the best for themselves. Since Guinness was first exported for sale on May 19th, 1769 by its founder, Arthur Guinness (1725-1803), all Irish landlords of British pubs and throughout the world have held a deep secret. Whereas as all non-Irish publican landlords receive 'the English Guiness' only, those Irish landlords who run pubs outside the Emerald Isle, are secretly supplied with two types of Guinness; with one type being of far lesser strength and inferior quality than the other. When an customer with an obvious Irish brogue orders a pint of Guinness from a pub in England that has an Irish landlord, his pint of draught is pulled from the left hand side of the serving landlord's feet, whereas an English customer placing the same order has his pint pulled from a different pump on the right hand side of the serving landlord's feet. Originally, it was common in Northern Ireland, Scotland and the north-west of England, for Roman Catholics to be called 'left-footers' as a slur. It is based on the supposed tradition whereby Protestant farm-labourers dug with the right foot on the spade, whilst Catholic ones did so with the left! To get their own back on the Protestant English, the Irish (who never forget), turned the slur on its head unbeknown to all non-Irish drinkers of Guinness; or so my mother used to tell me, and she was never caught telling a lie! Happy Saint Patrick's Day." William Forde: March 17th, 2013.