"Have you ever had one of those days when nothing has gone to plan and you haven't had the time to take a pee. Don't despair because help is at hand.
Sit yourself down and take three deep breaths, then count to ten and resolve to do something about it. Now, doesn't that make you feel much better? No! Well then, think back to your days of youth when life was opening up in front of you and the world was your oyster. Can you remember what you said you wanted to be when you left school? Pretend you have that occupation now. Now, doesn't that make you feel better? No! Well then, the only advice I can give you is what my mother might have said, had she come across someone unhappy with their lot in life.
She would have advised you to seek out the gaffer and tell him that you don't feel you were destined for the job of a cleaner and general dog's body. Just because you married a Basil Brush, doesn't designate you as being suitable for playing the role of Mrs Mop for the rest of your days. You're still young enough to do something about it. Now, here's what you do to get your life back on track before you kick the bucket.
Enter your boss's office without knocking and look him straight in the eye, and in your boldest of voices tell him, 'Stick your job Buster where the sun don't shine. Come next Monday, I'm off down to the job centre and see if there's any of them there fashion-model jobs going. My legs are as good as the next girl's, so pick up a brush and clean your own floors!'
Now doesn't that make you feel much better? Of course, it does! Have a Happy New Year." William Forde: January 5th, 2018