"I was born in Portlaw, County Waterford, Ireland, the oldest of seven children and was reared on tales of Irish folklore and fed home-spun Irish philosophy; some of which could make a bald-headed man's hair stand on end. Whenever my mother saw fright or worry on my face, she would sit me down and provide me with the benefit of her Portlaw wisdom.
Now, for those who are unacquainted with Irish ways, the attention time-span of Portlaw folk is known to be so short that all learning needs to occur in lists of facts that do not exceed two in number. Hence, my mother's pearls of wisdom were always dispensed through the identification of two things only:
'Don't fret yourself, Billy. There is no reason to behave like a scared rabbit facing the stew pot. There are only two things to worry about from which all other things stem; whether you are well or sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about.
If you die, there are two things to worry about. Either you go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about,
but if you go to hell, you'll be too damn busy shaking hands with your friends and more Portlaw folk there than I could ever name.
So, you won't have time to worry, so stop it now; it's only a waste of energy!'" William Forde: January 3rd, 2014.