"Trust is something that starts and ends with truth. It is one of the most difficult things to build and the easiest to destroy. Too often in life will one come across a wounded creature who was persuaded to give their love, yet got betrayal in return. It is a universal truth that for there to have been betrayal, first there would have been trust.
Having worked twenty five years as a Probation Officer, the issue of 'trust' was to raise its head over and over again in the lives of my clients and their families. Will he steal again? Has he really stopped gambling? Can I trust him not to cheat on me again with another woman? Such were questions frequently posed by the partners of addicts, the wives of thieves and the spouses of serial love cheats and creatures of infidelity.
I'd seen enough in life not to be completely naive when it comes to the weakness of mankind not to reoffend in like manner at the next available opportunity, especially if one believes that one will get away with it. For the most part, my maxim would be to trust everyone at the gaming table of life, but always cut the cards! It has always been my preference to trust a person's instinct who is prepared to look at the facts, above that of a fool's reasoning when it involves burying one's head in the sands of denial.
And yet, paradoxically, trust is that elusive part of every relationship between a man and woman that can never come into play until/unless it has the likelihood of being breached or has actually been breached and has then had the opportunity to be breached again and again and again.
For example; consider the wives of Fred and Frank. Both have been married for twenty years. Fred is plain looking, a home bird who never goes out and he never flirts with other women. Consequently, it is no surprise that Fred has never strayed from his marriage vows. Whereas, Frank is a highly attractive lady's man who is prone to flirting, goes out most nights for a drink with the boys and attends evening classes once a week. Both wives 'trust' their husbands implicitly not to be unfaithful to their marriage vows.
Fred's wife may be 100% sincere when she professes to 'trust' her husband not to be unfaithful, but as Fred's life is never likely to present him with either opportunity or temptatation, infidelity is most unlikely to occur. In this instance, the 'trust' of Fred's wife has less of a part to play in their continued relationship as she thinks.
However, when Frank's wife discovers that her husband has been having an affair behind her back with Shirley from evening classes for the past year, only then is 'trust' given its part to play in their marriage. Frank admits to the affair, apologises for his unacceptable behaviour, swears that it is over and says that that he'll remain faithful to his marriage for evermore.
However, one week later Frank expresses his desire to continue going to evening classes, and even though his wife knows that his ex-lover Shirley still attends the very same classes, she agrees. Now that's what I call 'trust!' You see, it is only in the likelihood of or after its breach can 'trust' truly become operational in an ongoing relationship!" William Forde: February 7th, 2015.