"Today I go into hospital again for my fortnightly blood transfusion. Whilst there, I shall also have an extra procedure to take a bone marrow sample for laboratory testing. I should know the result of those tests in a few weeks time.
Before I started my chemotherapy treatment two years ago, I had developed cancer in a few parts of my body, including the bone marrow. After receiving chemotherapy, some of my cancer nodes had gone and some had reduced in size. My bone marrow had cleared at the time. Given the terminal nature of my condition, I was informed that the cancer would inevitably return and it was therefore a matter of 'time' and not 'if.' I was also told it was the quality of my remaining life which now mattered more than its extent, along with the management of my illness.
Since Christmas, my blood count has become and remained critically low, the period between blood transfusions have lessened and further tests are required to try to discover why. Naturally, as I enter hospital today, I will own to some trepidation, as until I receive the results on my bone marrow test, my road ahead will be less clear than it previously was.
While there are some illnesses that are self induced, there are infinitely more that fall randomly and for which no apparent reason for their presence exists. Like the changing weather conditions we face one day to the next, it is our lot to endure and wherever possible enjoy. The best we can do is not to allow inclement weather to make us housebound, but instead to put on one's coat and button up or open one's umbrella if needs be; to do whatever is required not to withdraw from the world, but to remain a driving force within it.
This is a brief poem I composed after I got up this morning and which matches my current feelings about the magic of life and the beauty and pain to be gained from every storm we pass through:
'Beauty in a Blizzard' by William Forde
'There is beauty in a blizzard
there is magic in a storm.
There is peace on earth for all who berth
in homes of love so warm.
The snow gives not a soft white dam
to whom it settles on.
It falls, it melts and chaos cause,
blinds motorists through its soft white gauze,
leaves destruction in its winter's wake
and won't let up for mercy's sake.
That's the beauty of the blizzard,
that's the pain within the storm.'
William Forde: Copyright February 19th, 2016.