"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be married to a spoiled brat?
While I have known a few women who I would take every opportunity of not renewing contact with because of their negative character traits, I have only ever come across one whom I felt like dumping in a trash can.
Her name was Maureen; a name that had always been dear to me as it was my mother's name. This Maureen however had been born with a general dislike for anything in this world that normal everyday people might like. She was in short an insufferable snob and was seemingly proud of it!
Nothing was too good for her because nothing was ever good enough for her! She wore the finest clothes yet dressed like a hussy on heat. She ate in the best restaurants and always complained about the service received. She wore high heels that heightened her seven inches to help her look down on others and she was constantly moving house and changing husbands in the hope of better prospects.
Her second husband once told me that holidays with her were a pain in the butt as the only thing that seemed to please her was upsetting others along the way. When the sun shone it was too hot, the rain was too wet and the golden sands of the Jamaican beaches had this annoying habit of sticking between one's toes.
Life inexorably went on until one day the woman got her come-uppance. One year when in France, she visited a cafe which was an high-class establishment. The French Cafe was called the Les Deux Magots in St. Germain. It had established itself as a legend for fine food and was positioned opposite the St. Germain Church tower which dates from 1090.
As the lady devoured her third plate of fresh oysters and before the last oyster had slid down her slimy throat, she died from some raw oyster fatality. Only six people were said to have attended her furneral service and three of them were ex husbands who'd no doubt come to finally see her off before having a nice seafood meal together on Southport seafront." William Forde: August 29th, 2014.