"As a Probation Officer for over twenty five years, I frequently came across people whose response patterns identified them clearly as being one of life's 'avoiders.' Such avoiders preferred to be in prison instead of the community, in hospital rather than at home, unemployed as opposed to in gainful employment. Some preferred to seek permanent refuge in an addictive lifestyle of gambling, alcohol or drugs rather than live independent lives and fend for themselves.
Whether or not they preferred to be 'in it' (prison or hospital) or 'out of it' (alcohol or drug addiction), the immediate benefit they seemed to derive from their life choice was one of not needing to make any important decisions. They didn't need to do anything other than what they were doing in order to carry on getting what they preferred or craved for. Their avoidance pattern and addictive lifestyle essentially took all responsibility away from them; effectively rendering all decision making redundant! Were some well-meaning person to attempt to remove them from their addictive lifestyle by forcing them to face the facts, the avoider would simply revert to their previous behaviour pattern and return to a pattern of re-offending, suicide attempts, addiction, self abuse or overdose!
Ah.....decisions, decisions! There are many times when we may believe that life would be so much easier if there weren't any decisions to be made, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Decision making is a vital survival tool in establishing true independence, appropriate assertiveness, peace and happiness along with conviction of purpose and clarity of cause.
Take it from me that there is no fear which can be lessened one iota by refusing to face it; no peace to be gained by avoiding certain confrontational situations, no action that can be accomplished satisfactorily by refusing to do anything at all and no life that can be lived by deciding to lay down and die!
Becoming a parent and starting a family ought to be the beginning of this practice in your children's lives. While we may have to initially decide certain things for them as infants, we should never decide for them when they are capable of deciding for themselves. In this range of decisions I would include important things like jobs, religion, choice of a marriage partner and the adoption of particular parenting practices as a few of the more obvious decisions where loving parents often trespass and encroach upon.
It matters less if we make mistakes as we learn to make our own decisions in life, but it does matter considerably if we learn to avoid making our own decisions. To ensure that you don't lose control of your life and destiny, all you have to do is to live life as an adult, parent, partner, man, woman, gay or heterosexual who doesn't allow others to decide what is best for you." William Forde: April 1st, 2014.