Today's song is 'Tears in Heaven'. It was recorded by Eric Clapton in 1991 and the lyrics were inspired by the tragic death of his 4-year-old son, Conner who fatally fell from a New York flat apartment building.
When a loved one dies, especially in tragic circumstances that could never be anticipated, their sudden departure and instant loss in our lives can seem no less an experience than a major amputation having occurred. A major love limb has been severed from our body trunk, leaving our tree of life badly bruised and emotionally battered. The shadow of our happiness that was forever close to us when our loved one lived suddenly disappears. We pine for the deceased person to come back to us, yet see them only in ghostly shadow or darken dreams. We miss them as we stand beside their grave, but they were always dead to us there. We miss them, even more, when we revisit the places where they were alive!
It becomes so easy for the bereaved person to give up on life when a significant loved one dies, leaving a gaping void of loss that seems unfillable. It becomes easier to cut off oneself from all others at oane's highest point of hurting and make the rest of the world strangers. Often, when the one we loved dies, we don't only throw dirt into the grave to conceal the coffin from all life thereafter, we also run the risk of casting off all things soft and gentle, beautiful and bright, positive and hopeful in our future life and burying these qualities of ourselves with our deceased loved one as well.
In the immediate aftermath of bereavement, the death of a loved one can often leave us weighed down with the heavy burden of anger, loss and guilt; enough it seems to sink one into the deepest of depressions. And yet, the heaviest of crosses that life sometimes gives us to bear and the sheer weight of the loss we a are asked to face can save us as well as sink us, if we use our bereaved experience as an anchor to keep us in calm and reflective waters until the surrounding climate settles and we are strong enough to commence our next voyage.
Love and peace. Bill xxx