When I was a Probation Officer in Huddersfield, I once worked with a young man whose father was always cruel to all family members, especially his wife and mother to his five children, whom he would beat viciously when drunk or whenever the mood took him. All family members hated him, especially his poor wife and oldest child, Peter. From a teenager, my client, Peter, vowed to stop his father beating up on his mother when he was big and strong enough to prevent the twenty-two stone parental bully with fists like sledgehammers.
By the time Peter was 18 years old and had grown as much as he was ever likely to, he had to accept that he was still unable to physically prevent his cruel father beating the mother of the household whenever he got drunk, which was four or five times weekly. One night, as his father knocked his mother to the ground with a fist to the face and then proceeded to kick her repeatedly in the stomach, Peter became unprepared to stand by and let it happen again, whatever the consequences! He ran to the kitchen and got a knife from the drawer, and as his father knelt over his wife fisting her in the face, Peter plunged it as deep as he could into his father’s broad back, pulled it out and plunged it in again and again. His father fell to the floor, dead.
Peter was arrested, remanded in custody and it was at this stage that I was involved in preparing a report to assist the sentencing Crown Court. Initially, while every family member was immensely relieved that Peter’s father was dead, knowing deep down that Peter had acted on behalf of all of them, they cut him off! Peter had only done what each one of them would have done, had the opportunity arose and their fear had subsided enough to allow their action. Through a sense of family 'guilt' or some other reason such as collective 'shame' they nevertheless cut off their father’s murderer from their affections. No family member wrote to Peter or visited him once in prison, either on remand or when eventually he was sentenced to Life imprisonment.
I visited the unrepentant prisoner in prison regularly, until one day, having been cut off from the affection of his family for an action he had committed on their behalf, Peter found himself unable to continue. He hung himself in his cell.
During one visit prior to this tragic event, it was early January and I will never forget Peter telling me ‘how lonely he felt on Christmas Day', without even one card from his mother and siblings.
So, I ask that we pray for and keep in our thoughts, all prisoners whose actions or circumstances prevent them from being with their families this Christmas. They need not be murderers; they could be soldiers spending Christmas keeping the peace in the war zones of a foreign land. They could be young persons who ran away from home years ago and have been gone so long without contacting their loved-ones, that they now fear to renew contact, even though Christmas time will haunt their thoughts of being alone again. They could also be fathers and mothers experiencing marital separation, and who are denied access to their children, or they could be rough sleepers who are too proud or ashamed to renew contact with their past life. They could even be a neighbour who lives alone and with little or no family contact or house visitors.
There are thousands of elderly people living alone and who are imprisoned through their social isolation and loneliness. Keep all lonely people in your thoughts this Christmas, and if you have a neighbour who lives alone, knock on their door and wish them a Happy Christmas or do them some small kindness that lets them know they aren’t forgotten or ever alone. Merry Christmas everyone.
Love and peace. Bill xxx