I dedicate my song today to four people who are celebrating their birthday. First is Katie Jo Smith. Katie is my great-niece and is the daughter of my niece Clare Smith who lives in Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire. Second is Walter Dunphy who lives in Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland. The third birthday celebrant is Mary Walsh Collins who lives in County Kildare, Ireland, and the fourth person who is celebrating their birthday is John Hearne who lives in Waterford, Ireland. Enjoy your birthday, folks.
My song today is ‘Better Things to Do’. Written by Tom Shapiro, Chris Waters, and co-written and recorded by Canadian country music artist Terri Clark, this song was released in July 1995 as her debut single and served as the lead single to her self-titled debut album.
Written about Ray Davies's failing marriage during a depressive period in his life, the song was completed in 1981 and released as a single, reaching Number 42 in the UK and Number 92 in America. The single marked the band's first appearance in the UK charts since 1972.
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Too many people whose relationships or marriages fail, never emotionally resolve the hurt caused at the time of their breakup with a once loving partner. However happy they become in their life within a future relationship, the scars which remain from their past can sometimes wound for a lifetime and never completely heal.
It is as though the hurt caused by one person to another was so great that it cannot be forgotten; that the other person hurt you so much that you cannot find it in your heart to ever forgive them. When any loving relationship ends in acrimonious circumstances and a form of hatred enters the situation, the aggrieved party can find it difficult to let go of their anger and sense of betrayal. Until they can let go of the past, there can be no solid base for any future.
I have known so many marriage breakdowns, where one of the separated parties seem to have a need to engage in some form of celebration when their ‘divorce absolute’ is eventually granted. I have never attended a ‘divorce party’ yet but I know they do occur. I have known many a divorced person relish being able to do the things following their marriage breakup and separation, that their ex-partner resented and prevented them from doing when together.
One Irish woman, I supervised when I worked as a Probation Officer in Huddersfield really went to town after she had got rid of the man in her life who had made her life a complete misery from the start of their marriage. Her husband was neurotic and displayed symptoms of an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), the extent of which did not become apparent until after their wedding. He would double-check everything such as locks, appliances, switches, and would spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom washing and re-washing his hands. The thing which irritated his wife the most was whenever she went to the loo. She would invariably leave the door open when she was on the throne, and whenever saw her with the loo door open, he would immediately pull it closed. Sometimes, when she unrolled some toilet paper to clean her bottom, there might be a sheet or two pieces left hanging down. Whenever he saw that, he would lift the toilet roll off its holder and carefully rewind the toilet roll back before replacing it for future use. After her divorce, she never closed the toilet door again, and as for the toilet-roll paper there were no gentle tugs to unwind the sheets; she would yank them with force and she would deliberately leave six or seven sheets strung across the bathroom floor each time she used it. She indicated that it gave her great satisfaction to behave like those playful pups on the television advertisements who prance around the house wrapped in toilet paper that is still being pulled. She even joked once with me that if she died before her ex, she might even consider having herself embalmed in toilet paper to annoy her ex-husband should he attend her wake and view her in the open coffin.
I recall making myself feel better after my own separation (which I never sought), by ‘going out dancing again’ within the month. Dancing had always been an activity I associated with being young and happy. After my divorce came through, I did not want my marriage ring but was unsure what to do with it. In the end, I sold it to a second-hand shop for a fraction of its value and bought an expensive bottle of vintage wine with the proceeds which I drank in the company of a lovely lady I was dating at the time. I remember thinking as I ordered the wine that was I to make a gesture of removing all vestige of my past marriage from my second finger, I might as well make it the grandest gesture I could, and an £80 bottle of vintage Claret seemed to fit the occasion nicely!
I have also known divorced parties buy themselves a new car, join an expensive golf club, take a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, have a facelift and tummy tuck, get themselves a toyboy, or start dating a young woman who is half their age and weight and is certain to give them a heart attack in the bedroom. I have even known one man to purposely have a baby with the new woman in his life. Indeed, I suspect that he deliberately parented a child with the woman he’d formed a relationship with after his acrimonious divorce to aggravate the disposition of his ex-wife and rub salt into her wounds. She had wanted to have children in their marriage but who could not conceive due to medical circumstances. The extent that a person will go to just to make a point or show that they have moved on with their life is mindboggling, and can also cost a bomb in toilet rolls!
This song today reminds me very much about getting on with one’s life after a relationship breakup. Have a nice day, everyone.
Love and peace Bill xxx
My song today is ‘Better Things to Do’. Written by Tom Shapiro, Chris Waters, and co-written and recorded by Canadian country music artist Terri Clark, this song was released in July 1995 as her debut single and served as the lead single to her self-titled debut album.
Written about Ray Davies's failing marriage during a depressive period in his life, the song was completed in 1981 and released as a single, reaching Number 42 in the UK and Number 92 in America. The single marked the band's first appearance in the UK charts since 1972.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Too many people whose relationships or marriages fail, never emotionally resolve the hurt caused at the time of their breakup with a once loving partner. However happy they become in their life within a future relationship, the scars which remain from their past can sometimes wound for a lifetime and never completely heal.
It is as though the hurt caused by one person to another was so great that it cannot be forgotten; that the other person hurt you so much that you cannot find it in your heart to ever forgive them. When any loving relationship ends in acrimonious circumstances and a form of hatred enters the situation, the aggrieved party can find it difficult to let go of their anger and sense of betrayal. Until they can let go of the past, there can be no solid base for any future.
I have known so many marriage breakdowns, where one of the separated parties seem to have a need to engage in some form of celebration when their ‘divorce absolute’ is eventually granted. I have never attended a ‘divorce party’ yet but I know they do occur. I have known many a divorced person relish being able to do the things following their marriage breakup and separation, that their ex-partner resented and prevented them from doing when together.
One Irish woman, I supervised when I worked as a Probation Officer in Huddersfield really went to town after she had got rid of the man in her life who had made her life a complete misery from the start of their marriage. Her husband was neurotic and displayed symptoms of an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), the extent of which did not become apparent until after their wedding. He would double-check everything such as locks, appliances, switches, and would spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom washing and re-washing his hands. The thing which irritated his wife the most was whenever she went to the loo. She would invariably leave the door open when she was on the throne, and whenever saw her with the loo door open, he would immediately pull it closed. Sometimes, when she unrolled some toilet paper to clean her bottom, there might be a sheet or two pieces left hanging down. Whenever he saw that, he would lift the toilet roll off its holder and carefully rewind the toilet roll back before replacing it for future use. After her divorce, she never closed the toilet door again, and as for the toilet-roll paper there were no gentle tugs to unwind the sheets; she would yank them with force and she would deliberately leave six or seven sheets strung across the bathroom floor each time she used it. She indicated that it gave her great satisfaction to behave like those playful pups on the television advertisements who prance around the house wrapped in toilet paper that is still being pulled. She even joked once with me that if she died before her ex, she might even consider having herself embalmed in toilet paper to annoy her ex-husband should he attend her wake and view her in the open coffin.
I recall making myself feel better after my own separation (which I never sought), by ‘going out dancing again’ within the month. Dancing had always been an activity I associated with being young and happy. After my divorce came through, I did not want my marriage ring but was unsure what to do with it. In the end, I sold it to a second-hand shop for a fraction of its value and bought an expensive bottle of vintage wine with the proceeds which I drank in the company of a lovely lady I was dating at the time. I remember thinking as I ordered the wine that was I to make a gesture of removing all vestige of my past marriage from my second finger, I might as well make it the grandest gesture I could, and an £80 bottle of vintage Claret seemed to fit the occasion nicely!
I have also known divorced parties buy themselves a new car, join an expensive golf club, take a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, have a facelift and tummy tuck, get themselves a toyboy, or start dating a young woman who is half their age and weight and is certain to give them a heart attack in the bedroom. I have even known one man to purposely have a baby with the new woman in his life. Indeed, I suspect that he deliberately parented a child with the woman he’d formed a relationship with after his acrimonious divorce to aggravate the disposition of his ex-wife and rub salt into her wounds. She had wanted to have children in their marriage but who could not conceive due to medical circumstances. The extent that a person will go to just to make a point or show that they have moved on with their life is mindboggling, and can also cost a bomb in toilet rolls!
This song today reminds me very much about getting on with one’s life after a relationship breakup. Have a nice day, everyone.
Love and peace Bill xxx
