My song today is ‘Careless Whispers’. This pop ballad was performed by George Michael. It was written by George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley of the British music duo ‘Wham!’ It was released on 24th July 1984 on the album ‘Make it Big’. The song has been covered by several artists. It was released as a single and became a huge commercial success around the world. It reached number one in nearly 25 countries.
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This song is about unfaithfulness in a relationship by cheating on a best friend. I recall my later teenage courting years when a group of a dozen young men would go out together from the estate where I lived. We each considered that we were no less than a blood brother to the other eleven mates, and we always had the backs of each other. None of us ever missed attending some event because they happened to be short of money at the time, and when this happened, the rest of the gang would chip in and to cover their cost of admission whether to the Picture House (called the cinema today) or into a dance. We would go dancing at least twice weekly and attending the ‘Cleckheaton Town Hall’ on a Saturday night would be our dancing/romancing highlight of the week.
There were certain understandings between us that were essentially part of our code of brotherhood. We never abandoned another of the group who was being picked on by another gang, and fights between different groups of young men from Cleckheaton, Batley, Dewsbury, Heckmondwike, and Halifax were a regular weekly feature. It was permissible to go out alone with a young woman for the evening during the week, but on Saturday nights we attended the dance as a group of mates and met any women we had planned to hook up with there. Until we walked our young women home at the end of the dance, we were to consider ourselves ‘on-call’ to assist any other group member if a fight broke out or some other need arose.
There was one taboo (the 11th Commandment), however, which none of the gang violated. To do so, would result in immediate shame heaped upon you and the rejection of your peers. The taboo clearly stated that another mate’s woman was strictly ‘off-limits’, a ‘no go area’ to any other admirer. One never cheated on a mate by going with his woman behind his back. It was considered okay to try one’s hand with any young woman who was courting a young man from ‘another gang’ if you thought you had half a chance of persuading her to switch allegiance. That behaviour was usually unwelcomed by your peers, as it invariably involved an unnecessary gang fight in the dance hall. Your group of friends did not mind a good ‘free for all’ breaking out on the dance floor if the night was boring or the reputation of a group member or the gang itself was at stake. However, there is a time for fighting and a time for courting, and when the rest of one’s mates are hooked up with a young woman they like, there is naturally some resentment if they are broken off in the middle of a heavy-petting session because one of their mates has decided to cast their eyes in the wrong direction and keep them there, regardless of the inevitable consequences. No young man with a fetching young woman in his arms likes having to take a ‘rain check’ and abandon his lady when it looks like he has a 'promise on’, just to assist a mate get a dance with a young woman of their choice who happens to be the girlfriend of a rival gang member.
There would naturally be the usual exception to the above rule. For instance, if someone from your crowd was attacked by a member of another gang first, well then, fighting back was automatically expected; indeed, gang pride demanded no less!
So, whatever we might get up to during our average week within our peer group of blood brothers, we did keep one sacrosanct code. None of us messed with another mate’s girlfriend, or else they messed with the whole gang. It was considered okay to hang out with or to go out with a mate’s ex-girlfriend, but only after one month or more had elapsed since your mate had broken up with her. However, if she had been the one to break it off with your mate though, to have a relationship with any mate’s ‘ex’ was considered unseemly, and was actively discouraged, as it could lead to bad blood being spilled between gang members.
My teenage years occurred during a time in Great Britain where both ‘racism’ and ‘sexism’ were rife. Males and females still lived in a white, heterosexual man-made world that was geared towards the satisfaction of heterosexual male interest more than the pursuit of gender equality or comparable consideration in the decision-making process between the men and women.
Love and peace
Bill xxx