I dedicate my song today to six people who celebrate their birthday today. First, we wish a happy birthday to our good friend, Beth Cunningham. Beth celebrates her birthday today and lives in Haworth. Beth and my wife, Sheila have been friends for many years. We also extend birthday greetings to Martin Gannon who lives in Piltown, Kilkenny, Ireland: Marian White, Corey O’Dwyer, and Deidre Brett; all who come from Carrick-on-Suir, Tipperary, Ireland: Karen Bales who comes from Cleckheaton and lives in Liversedge, West Yorkshire. I hope that you all enjoy your special day. Thank you for being my Facebook friend.
My song today is ‘If You Know What I Mean’. This song was written and recorded by Neil Diamond. It is a track from Diamond's 1976 album, ‘Beautiful Noise’, and was his third number one on the ‘Easy Listening’ chart. ‘If You Know What I Mean’ went to Number 1 and peaked at Number 11 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart. In Canada, the song reached Number 19 on the pop singles chart and hit Number 1 on the ‘Adult Contemporary’ chart.
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I recall working with a Probation Officer called Steve in Huddersfield. Steve was a lovely man who probably one of the least offensive men I ever knew. He was polite in the extreme and never appeared to lose either his patience or his temper. In one area, however, he lacked a certain degree of confidence. Steve displayed this constant fear of being misunderstood whenever he explained something. In his defence, he would profess that he often got tongue-tied and was no good with words. To get around this social embarrassment, whenever he thought he had not explained himself as well as he should have, he would always seek to reassure himself by saying to the other person, “If you know what I mean?”
Steve and his wife had known each other all their lives. I believe they were the parents of one child who displayed a medical condition that deterred them from having a larger family. As children, their families lived in adjacent streets in Oldham, and they attended the same chapel and school. They had also been boyfriend and girlfriend for as long as they could remember. It was a role that they naturally fell into without too much discussion having taken place between them. I believe that their parents had been lifelong friends and the general expectation throughout their growing-up years was that it would be nice if they one day decided to be a boyfriend and girlfriend couple.
Neither Steve nor his wife had ever courted another person before they married, and in accordance with the traditions of the time, a three-year engagement period was observed beforehand so that they would not enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of each other’s wants and ways.
Both were virgins on their wedding night and probably would have remained so had it not been for getting tipsy before retiring to the marriage bed. Steve would frequently joke about the relationship between himself and his wife in a kind of defensive manner. He merely conveyed to us that he and his wife were two of life’s innocents who were a suitable match for each other. Some of his work colleagues would frequently try to embarrass him by asking “What did you and your lady wife get up to during the electricity blackout, Steve?” (This was a reference to the Prime Minister, Edward Heath, putting the country on a three-day-week ration of electricity during early 1974). They would also suggest several ways of spicing up one’s life in the marital bedroom. If ever prompted to give his view on some raucous suggestion, Steve would simply reply “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask her to consider doing that!”
When I hear this song by Neil Diamond, it reminds me of Steve who lived in the Oldham area and who worked in the Huddersfield Probation Office. We also wondered if Steve and his good lady, who attended Sunday Service together without fail every weekend, had ever sung from the same hymn sheet where the personal preferences of husband and wife were concerned?
A few of us had even quipped behind his back “Wouldn’t it be a dying shame if both of them really wanted the same thing but went through their married life being afraid to voice their marital desires to each other?”
From what Steve had said in prior conversations during lighter moments in the staff room with some of his male colleagues, made it apparent that he had lived a sheltered life in all matters regarding the opposite sex; every bit as much as his wife had also experienced prior to their marriage. He had told a few of us during a previous conversation that the two things which he and his wife never spoke about were money and sex! He indicated that his wife considered talking about either money or sex to be an unsavoury discussion between a husband and wife. Sex between them had never been spontaneous, over-exciting or even adventurous in the slightest, and the only good thing that Steve had to say about their sex life was that they were faithful to each other and could never imagine either of them being tempted by anyone else to stray from their wedding vows.
I will never forget one Monday morning when Steve arrived at work wearing a smile that could only communicate one message. You know the type of smug smile of satisfaction I mean; the kind that instantly betrays the face of a young virgin hunter (male or female) who has tasted first blood and does not wish to conceal the kill to other riders out looking for bit of sport that day. We all knew that something very pleasant and unusual had occurred over the weekend between Steve and his wife, and there were no prizes offered for anyone guessing what that had been. Steve told us later in the week that he and his wife had gone out for a meal and a drink on Saturday night to celebrate their wedding anniversary and that each of them had unusually got tipsy. Neither was the type to ever get drunk or wet the bed, or fart in each other's presence or leave the loo door open or unlocked when occupied. To Steve and his good lady, tipsy’ would represent the extent of what they would consider as being ‘disgraceful behaviour’.
On the night in question, the strangest of events occurred when they returned home at the end of the night. Their child was sleeping at one of the grandparent’s homes for the weekend to give Steve and his wife a weekend off and no sooner had the couple got inside the back door laughing and joking, they each started undressing the other before they reached the bottom of the staircase. Steve spoke with the pride of a young teenager warrior who had just made out with a young woman for the first time in his life instead of with a wife he had been married to for seven years. Steve proudly told a few of us that they never made it to the top of the stairs before the early morning hours, and when they did manage to continue their sexual antics inside their bedroom, Steve said that he and his good lady took it in turns to fashion tents all night long as they explored the sights to be found beneath the bedsheets.
Steve and his wife slept in until noon the Saturday morning after their anniversary night out. Whatever the couple got up to or down to, it pleased Steve no end to have coupled with his wife on more than one occasion that Friday, Saturday and Sunday before starting next week back at the Probation Office'. Steve jokingly told us that Saturday nights out would certainly become a regular feature for them in future, instead of being an occasional activity when there was nothing on the telly to watch.
The males who were present were naturally pleased for Steve and his wife, and we would repeatedly ask him every Monday morning thereafter, tongue in cheek, “Did you have a good weekend, Steve? I hope you did nothing that we wouldn’t do?”
Steve might reply, “I had a most enjoyable weekend, Bill” without adding on “If you know what I mean?” He did not need to add this part of his vocabulary anymore when it came to discussing anything between himself and his wife, because we knew what he meant, and so did his wife!
Love and peace
Bill xxx
My song today is ‘If You Know What I Mean’. This song was written and recorded by Neil Diamond. It is a track from Diamond's 1976 album, ‘Beautiful Noise’, and was his third number one on the ‘Easy Listening’ chart. ‘If You Know What I Mean’ went to Number 1 and peaked at Number 11 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart. In Canada, the song reached Number 19 on the pop singles chart and hit Number 1 on the ‘Adult Contemporary’ chart.
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I recall working with a Probation Officer called Steve in Huddersfield. Steve was a lovely man who probably one of the least offensive men I ever knew. He was polite in the extreme and never appeared to lose either his patience or his temper. In one area, however, he lacked a certain degree of confidence. Steve displayed this constant fear of being misunderstood whenever he explained something. In his defence, he would profess that he often got tongue-tied and was no good with words. To get around this social embarrassment, whenever he thought he had not explained himself as well as he should have, he would always seek to reassure himself by saying to the other person, “If you know what I mean?”
Steve and his wife had known each other all their lives. I believe they were the parents of one child who displayed a medical condition that deterred them from having a larger family. As children, their families lived in adjacent streets in Oldham, and they attended the same chapel and school. They had also been boyfriend and girlfriend for as long as they could remember. It was a role that they naturally fell into without too much discussion having taken place between them. I believe that their parents had been lifelong friends and the general expectation throughout their growing-up years was that it would be nice if they one day decided to be a boyfriend and girlfriend couple.
Neither Steve nor his wife had ever courted another person before they married, and in accordance with the traditions of the time, a three-year engagement period was observed beforehand so that they would not enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of each other’s wants and ways.
Both were virgins on their wedding night and probably would have remained so had it not been for getting tipsy before retiring to the marriage bed. Steve would frequently joke about the relationship between himself and his wife in a kind of defensive manner. He merely conveyed to us that he and his wife were two of life’s innocents who were a suitable match for each other. Some of his work colleagues would frequently try to embarrass him by asking “What did you and your lady wife get up to during the electricity blackout, Steve?” (This was a reference to the Prime Minister, Edward Heath, putting the country on a three-day-week ration of electricity during early 1974). They would also suggest several ways of spicing up one’s life in the marital bedroom. If ever prompted to give his view on some raucous suggestion, Steve would simply reply “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask her to consider doing that!”
When I hear this song by Neil Diamond, it reminds me of Steve who lived in the Oldham area and who worked in the Huddersfield Probation Office. We also wondered if Steve and his good lady, who attended Sunday Service together without fail every weekend, had ever sung from the same hymn sheet where the personal preferences of husband and wife were concerned?
A few of us had even quipped behind his back “Wouldn’t it be a dying shame if both of them really wanted the same thing but went through their married life being afraid to voice their marital desires to each other?”
From what Steve had said in prior conversations during lighter moments in the staff room with some of his male colleagues, made it apparent that he had lived a sheltered life in all matters regarding the opposite sex; every bit as much as his wife had also experienced prior to their marriage. He had told a few of us during a previous conversation that the two things which he and his wife never spoke about were money and sex! He indicated that his wife considered talking about either money or sex to be an unsavoury discussion between a husband and wife. Sex between them had never been spontaneous, over-exciting or even adventurous in the slightest, and the only good thing that Steve had to say about their sex life was that they were faithful to each other and could never imagine either of them being tempted by anyone else to stray from their wedding vows.
I will never forget one Monday morning when Steve arrived at work wearing a smile that could only communicate one message. You know the type of smug smile of satisfaction I mean; the kind that instantly betrays the face of a young virgin hunter (male or female) who has tasted first blood and does not wish to conceal the kill to other riders out looking for bit of sport that day. We all knew that something very pleasant and unusual had occurred over the weekend between Steve and his wife, and there were no prizes offered for anyone guessing what that had been. Steve told us later in the week that he and his wife had gone out for a meal and a drink on Saturday night to celebrate their wedding anniversary and that each of them had unusually got tipsy. Neither was the type to ever get drunk or wet the bed, or fart in each other's presence or leave the loo door open or unlocked when occupied. To Steve and his good lady, tipsy’ would represent the extent of what they would consider as being ‘disgraceful behaviour’.
On the night in question, the strangest of events occurred when they returned home at the end of the night. Their child was sleeping at one of the grandparent’s homes for the weekend to give Steve and his wife a weekend off and no sooner had the couple got inside the back door laughing and joking, they each started undressing the other before they reached the bottom of the staircase. Steve spoke with the pride of a young teenager warrior who had just made out with a young woman for the first time in his life instead of with a wife he had been married to for seven years. Steve proudly told a few of us that they never made it to the top of the stairs before the early morning hours, and when they did manage to continue their sexual antics inside their bedroom, Steve said that he and his good lady took it in turns to fashion tents all night long as they explored the sights to be found beneath the bedsheets.
Steve and his wife slept in until noon the Saturday morning after their anniversary night out. Whatever the couple got up to or down to, it pleased Steve no end to have coupled with his wife on more than one occasion that Friday, Saturday and Sunday before starting next week back at the Probation Office'. Steve jokingly told us that Saturday nights out would certainly become a regular feature for them in future, instead of being an occasional activity when there was nothing on the telly to watch.
The males who were present were naturally pleased for Steve and his wife, and we would repeatedly ask him every Monday morning thereafter, tongue in cheek, “Did you have a good weekend, Steve? I hope you did nothing that we wouldn’t do?”
Steve might reply, “I had a most enjoyable weekend, Bill” without adding on “If you know what I mean?” He did not need to add this part of his vocabulary anymore when it came to discussing anything between himself and his wife, because we knew what he meant, and so did his wife!
Love and peace
Bill xxx
