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Despite being the briefest of songs, ‘The Glory of Love’ holds a message of truth that stretches all the way back to the days when Adam loved Eve. ‘Love’ may be the greatest of all experiences sought for by the vast majority, but ‘true love’ is never easy to attain and hold on to. It requires the skill of a master fisherman, who, having caught his catch, then must preserve it and keep it fresh in suitable conditions.
As someone who has experienced many sides of ‘the love equation’ in my long life (having feared love, sought love, found love, lost love, rejected love, enjoyed love, and had love disappoint me, dump me and divorce me), I do feel sufficiently qualified to say a few words about the emotion and its effect on our daily disposition and overall sense of happiness.
I would first have to say that ‘love’ is the only life lesson I know that teaches a human being how to become a better person. Because love cannot serve others without also serving self, it could be said that the expression of the love emotion and the continued practise of it could be said to be our most beneficial of human actions. My mother often said to me as a child,” Love where you can, Billy and you’ll never lose out”. These words have true meaning for me because whenever I have most needed it, the light of love has shone on me that very hour.
There are many forms that love takes, but for the purpose of this post, I will stick to the deep and satisfying love that is sometimes felt between man and woman and man and man in a committed relationship. Succeeding not only involves finding true love but once found, keeping it. The most obvious way of nurturing and keeping a loving relationship strong between partners is achieved within a communication channel between the couple that is never cut off, however uncomfortable it proves to be. Other essentials include travelling together towards shared goals, and to a place that you are both happy to end up. A good strong marriage demands you both work as a team, no less than the crew of a ship that sails through both calm and stormy waters to reach safe harbour. In simplistic terms, a good marriage requires communication, commitment, co-operation, consolidation, consideration, consolation and celebration to be constantly present and available!
I have known the true and lasting love of two people endure more sacrifice, more love, more compassion and every aspect of the most fruitful and satisfactory of relationships between a couple. I don’t have to look more than a few feet: across the table, knelt beside me at church, accompanying me to the surgery, the hospital, or beside me in bed, to see the most enduring love and strength of my life: my wife Sheila.
Love is a great master when one proves a willing student. It teaches us to be what we never were. It helps us to be what we need to be. It helps us to hold on fast to a life that is worth holding onto, but it also schools one in the knowledge that true love also knows when ‘to let go’.
When my time comes to leave this life on earth, the only regret that I will have is that I didn’t have enough time to do everything on earth with Sheila that I would have liked to do. I would have loved to have been given more time to spend together, and in different circumstances that enabled me to fly safely, walk farther and plan a year ahead. I would have loved to have seen unseen places I always wanted to set eyes on: travelled to Singapore to meet Sheila’s distant family and school friends: place my hand on ‘The Great Wall of China’: visit the beautiful gardens in Japan during any spring season : dance on the beach at sunset in Hawaii : walk the Bronte Moors during all weathers : plant flowers, fruit and vegetables in our allotment which I knew I would have the reasonable certainty of seeing, smelling and tasting next autumn. The one thing I say to my Sheila is, “If I know what love is, it is because of you, sweetheart.”
There are two women in my life that have predominantly informed me as to the true nature of ‘Love’; my mother during my formative years and my wife, Sheila during the last decade. As a child, my mother used to tell me,” Love big, Billy and experience great miracles” (my paraphrasing of her words, yet accurate memory of her meaning). Whenever I had been uncharitable in word or action to another, my mother would threaten to hold me upside down and shake the nonsense out of me, leaving only the love inside me remaining. So, if you want true love in your life, my advice would be to first find it in yourself; then, give it unstintingly to others and simply wait in the certainty of receiving it back immeasurably, and without expectation.
I once worked with an older man in a Brighouse textile factory on the night shift. He was an ardent Methodist who had reformed his earlier wild ways and come to religious observance and attended chapel weekly since marrying his ‘good woman’; as he called her. Albert was always coming out with pearls of wisdom for the younger lads he sought to impress. I’ll never forget him once advising us to “Love yourself; then forget it, and then love the world”.
I conclude this morning’s post urging all to love freely and without fear or expectation. My mother gave me life first, followed by love, and finally understanding and acceptance. She didn’t always approve of all I said and did, but she always seemed to have the ability to understand and the compassion to forgive. I do believe that unless we love one another, we are destined to live without purpose and die in vain. I also believe that love, hope and forgiveness are inextricably intertwined and that without all three in our life and behaviour we are lost.
There can be no love today and no hope for tomorrow without forgiveness for yesterday.
Love and peace. Bill xxx