Today’s song is ‘Perfect’. This a song by English singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran from his third studio album in 2017. The song reached Number 1 on the ‘UK Singles Chart’ and on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ in the U.S.A. in December 2017. ‘Perfect’ became the UK Christmas Number 1 song for 2017. It also peaked at Number 1 in sixteen other countries, including Australia, Canada, Ireland, and New Zealand.
In March 2017, Sheeran broke the record set by Frankie Laine in 1953, by occupying all the top five positions in the United Kingdom and placing nine songs in the top ten of the 'UK Singles Chart’. Also, every single one of the sixteen tracks from his new album entered the top twenty. The song has literally won too many accolades to mention in this post.
Whoever we are, everyone dreams of someday meeting and marrying the ‘perfect one’, but sadly we do not all achieve our dream. However hard we try to find the right one for us, circumstances often militate to prevent us ever attaining our dream, and discovering that state of perfect happiness and complete union with a soul mate.
Being in the right place at the wrong time, being with the right person at the wrong time, being with the right person in the wrong way or the wrong person in every way you ought not to be; each and all these circumstances will never provide the perfect conditions of ever meeting Mr or Mrs Right.
All my life I have been a hopeless romantic who would frequently fall in love. I suppose that as a trusting individual who respects honest emotional expression, I have always made myself emotionally available to any woman with a wholesome lifestyle and honourable values. Sometimes, I find that I have given my heart too readily, and on occasions (particularly where the relationship has been one of a physical attraction more than romantic attachment) I have not given my heart at all and have withheld the possibility of establishing an emotional bond.
I have messed up in the relationship stakes of my own life as much as anyone else has, and probably more often than most of you. Where I have prospered, where others may not have, is that I have always been there at the count. Like the Lottery slogan says, ‘You’ve got to be in it to win it!’. It is futile to stand outside of life and then wonder why you don’t have one! I have always been a player on the field of romance and have never watched from the side-lines. More importantly, I have never been frightened to prevent the possibility of my romantic adventures taking me to places I have not been to before and may be wary of exploring.
During my life, I have known the genuine love of a woman on many occasions, and each of these relationships has been worthwhile and are not regretted in the least. I have come to believe, however, that most relationships have a 'shelf life' and when the time comes that one person in the relationship changes their attitude, behaviour, and needs more than the other partner, then the couple’s continued happiness moves closer to the ‘sell-by-date’ of their partnership. It is true that several significant factors may persuade one or both parties in an unhappy relationship to stay with the relationship past its ‘sell-by-date’; preferring to eat stale bread as opposed to having no bread at all to digest! The length of the relationship, the age of the couple, the health of both parties, any children born to the union, the financial implications of a relationship breakup, and all manner of personal considerations may come into play when deciding whether to end a relationship or continue with it, however unsatisfactory.
If you still search for that relationship of lasting love, you may be lucky to find it, as Sheila and I have, but never fool yourself into believing that any relationship is truly perfect. The more perfect the relationship, the more fragile it is. It is also more difficult it is for outsiders to spot hairline cracks in china. Whereas ‘perfection’ is always the aspiration, it is rarely the achievement on this side of heaven, as it is simply impossible for either person not to be found wanting in one way or another. Were such perfect relationships possible, there would be no affairs, no divorces and infinitely less heartache caused by disagreements, bitter arguments, and broken relationships?
All people are complex individuals. We are shaped by our total experiences at the hands of our parental potters and primary influencers. Our parents, our family background and our overall experiences help form our characters and influence our lasting beliefs. We are each unique, not clones of any other. Even twins who share the same embryonic egg, differ in some major aspect of personality. We all seek lasting love and realise that our best chance of finding such happiness within a relationship with another involves finding someone who is truly prepared to share themselves with us in a spirit of love, truth, faithfulness, tolerance and understanding. It is a bonus if we find somebody who can occasionally leave some things unsaid, and who keeps a flag of forgiveness to fly close to hand, wherever required.
Look not therefore for an angel or a goddess, or a superman or superwoman in your partner, as you will not find one. Instead, be content with a good man/woman of substance who possesses human flaws as well as personal strengths. Look for love, honesty, faithfulness, charity, compassion, understanding, sensitivity, forgiveness, and goodness, and should you find all these attributes in one person, you have found as good a mate as you are ever likely to meet.
Such qualities exist in most good people, along with the human frailties of an individual who does not always get things right at the first attempt. Such people will have erred in the past but have since built their strength and wisdom from their mistakes and ignorance. Realising that they walked the wrong road, they possessed the strength of character to become a better person. They are most likely to be a combination of saint and sinner. Those are the ones to look for when seeking a partner of substance. As a jeweller friend of mine once told me, “The rougher the diamond, Bill, the more solid the stone and the better they polish up!”
I was fortunate to find my woman of substance in my wife, Sheila, and it is my fervent wish that every heart can find true love in the heart of another, as we share. I know that each of us is good people, but I also know that neither are flawless personalities. What is perfect about our relationship, however, is the love we share for each other.
Love and peace