My song today is ‘My Cherie Amour’. This is a 1969 song by singer-songwriter, Stevie Wonder. It was originally recorded from late 1967 to early 1968, but not released until early 1969. The song was co-written by Stevie Wonder, Sylvia Moy, and Henry Cosby. Cosby was also the producer of the song. The song, originally entitled "Oh, My Marsha", was composed about Wonder's girlfriend, while he was at the Michigan School for the Blind in Lansing, Michigan. The song became a Number 4 hit, on both the ‘Billboard Pop and R&B Single’s Charts’ in July 1969. Stevie Wonder also released Spanish- and Italian-language versions entitled "Mi Querido Amor" and "My Cherie Amor", respectively.
My Cherie Amour translates to ‘My Dearest Love’. The closest that I have ever been addressed in such terms was by my wife, Sheila who has referred to me on many occasions written in little notes she leaves around the house that begins with, “My dearest, Bill”. Enough said.
It is without surprise that we learn there have been more words written about the topics of love than any other. During so many occasions in my life, I have encountered people whose world was thrown into darkness following some traumatic event that threatened to cut off all future hope, health, and happiness for them; only to discover that the very same emotion which produced their initial experience of deep loss is now responsible for lighting up their life again. Love alone can rekindle life burnt out and provide a purpose for one’s existence.
I love Sheila as much today as I ever loved her; in fact, I could honestly claim to love her more as I have come to appreciate the many beautiful facets of her character. Like the most precious and sparkling of jewelled necklaces, she announces her presence through the instant light she emits from her heart and soul. I don’t need anyone to tell me that I am the luckiest man alive, I know it. I am alive and have never felt more so since that first moment we met.! I no longer require Sheila to tell me every morning and night that she loves me, I know it! Her very eyes shout out ‘I love you, dearest Bill’ each time she looks my way.
I have been in love several times in my life and Sheila was the last woman I ever fell in love with. To all my previous loves, I must have only loaned my heart, but to Sheila, I willingly gave it for eternity. One of the nicest feelings I have ever had since knowing Sheila is one of wholesomeness. We are referred to and seen by anyone who knows of us as being ‘ a couple in love’, soul mates who found each other during the autumn of my life and the summer of Sheila’s. It makes any couple feel as being 'one' to be seen as a single unit.
All my life, I have been interested in playing numerous sports and engaging in many activities, but during the 78 years I have so far lived on earth, I have discovered that of all the games played between, and the sport engaged in by a man and woman, that love is the only game two can play where both can win. Were anyone to ask me the key to seeing their love grow, I would have to put it down to two things. The first is ‘falling in love'. Whereas marriages of convenience that are governed by family tradition and cultural custom can work, the prerequisite to 'staying in love’, is that one must first ‘fall in love’. The mere description, ‘falling’ tells us that love is not a choice for any of us, but an ‘out of control romantic experience, a happening of the heart that cannot be explained by reason alone, and only makes sense through one’s feelings. I fell in love with Sheila the first moment I saw her, but what makes me love her more today than I loved her then is that there has never been one day since our first meeting when I have not fallen in love with her anew.
The second greatest learning asset of a lasting and loving marriage is ‘learning to let things go’ and ‘learning to leave some things unsaid. Past emotions of any individual entering a new relationship are better resolved and let go. Everyone comes to a new relationship carrying some emotional baggage with them that they have not fully unpacked, emotionally resolved, and dispensed with. During the start of any loving relationship will come a period where anything or anyone or any event can be honestly spoken about between the couple and instantly dispensed with as being a past incident that no longer has any bearing on one’s present relationship. If we are wise, we will use this time well for it is often the only time we find we can honestly discuss an issue that troubles us and is good to unburden.
Paradoxically, just as truth-telling is an important component in lasting and loving relationships, so is being able to know when it is better to say nothing at all. How many times during an argument or marital row have you ever been tempted to let out a few home truths about your partner, which in any other set of circumstances, would remain unmentioned? Humans, however loving they may be, can also be cruel illustrations of nature’s nastier side. It is during the heat of such occasions when words speak the harm which can never be taken back by the person uttering them, and uncharitable and hurtful things said, cannot be unsaid. There is much wisdom in developing the practice of leaving certain things unsaid in a marriage.
Indeed, there is much merit in leaving some things unsaid in any type of relationship between two people. Think of how many insults would be stifled at birth and never mouthed, and how many embarrassing situations might have been avoided just by having left something unsaid
There is but one thing, Sheila Forde, that I will never be able to leave unsaid between us, “I love you, Sheila xxx”.
Love and peace