Apart from dedicating this song to Jacqueline's late husband, I jointly dedicate my song to every facebook contact I have who has lost a partner, lover, soul mate, spouse through bereavement in either the past or recent times.
To those among you, whose partner died many years ago, I pray that the burden of your bereavement since their death has lessened and that their loss from your life has stopped hurting as much; leaving you with happier memories of your good times together.
To those among you, whose bereavement and loss is more recent and the pain is still too raw to let go to the healing process, hold on tight to your good memories and when you feel the loss of their lives in your presence, derive comfort from the belief that 'they have never really left your lives and never will'. They will remain a part of what you think, say, and do for as long as you wish them to accompany you in spirit through your future life.
As regards to crying, our culture has a strange relationship with 'sadness'. Despite it being one of the most fundamental emotions that we experience, it’s something that is often not discussed, and rarely ever encouraged. A good number of years spent working in the role of Bereavement Counsellor led me to understand that our emotions, however, are never so simple,
The three physiological reasons we cry are Basal (the necessity to keep one's eyes moist each time we blink): Reflex Protection
(the need to flush out eye irritants such as wind, dust, smoke, onions), and Emotional (humans shed tears in response to a range of emotions. These tears contain a higher level of stress hormones than other types of tears).
Some people who are bereaved can and do cry buckets of tears while others do not. It is, however, healthier to cry whenever sadness overwhelms us. If we can cry, we will in time swim through our sea of sadness, but if we unhealthily bottle up our tears and do not express them, we are likely to drown in a sea of sorrows. So, if crying comforts you or reduces your pain or releases your pent up emotions which are unsettling you, then it makes good sense to cry as much as you want to.
The best thing of all, however, for all bereaved partners is to talk, talk and talk some more. This can be done with a trained counsellor, but why not save yourself the £40 per hour 'going fee' and talk to a trusted friend instead. And if you are the friend of a bereaved person, never worry about not having the correct things to say in reply to them, as your advice will never be one-tenth as important to them as your ability to 'listen' will prove to be.
Love and peace Bill xxx