Other birthday celebrants today include Sharon Purvis who is a family friend to myself and Sheila, and who lives in Oxenhope, Keighley: Pat Reade who lives in Kilsheelan, County Waterford, Ireland, and finally, Anthony B. Laffan who lives in the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia. Enjoy your special day and thank you for being my Facebook friend.
My song today is ‘She Thinks I Still Care’. This country song was written by Dickey Lee and Steve Duffy. The song has been recorded by multiple artists including George Jones: Connie Francis: Del Shannon: Cher: Elvis Presley: Bill Hayley and his Comets: Jerry Lee Lewis: Merle Haggard: Glen Campbell: and many more.
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This song reminds me of a man I once worked with at the Batley Probation Office in West Yorkshire. This colleague had been twice married and had also cohabited with another three women for substantial periods of time. He was a good-looking and well presentable man in his mid-fifties, but he never seemed able to hold down any of his relationships. He considered himself as being a bit of a lady’s man on the dating scene, and was frequently referred to by colleagues as being a ‘Jack the Lad’.
He once told me that there had only been one woman in his life whom he really loved. Sadly, he lost her after having an office Christmas party dalliance with another colleague whilst inebriated. The incident reportedly occurred at another Probation Office in Leeds where he had previously worked after his first marriage. The woman with whom he committed his sexual indiscretion was also married, and she was the mother of a 7-year-old child.
Initially, he tried to play it down when his wife heard about his Christmas Party shenanigans and confronted him. He made out that it had been no more than a mistletoe kiss that lasted ten seconds instead of two that had led to the office gossip after the Christmas holiday. Then, three months later, the woman concerned told my male colleague that she was pregnant with his child and planned to have an abortion to save her marriage.
Within the Leeds Probation Office in question worked a secretary who was the best friend of my male colleague’s wife, and who would frequently feed-back office gossip whenever they met up. When she heard of the married female officer’s predicament of being three months pregnant during the spring following the Christmas Office party, she again told her best friend again of recent developments. The Probation Officer’s wife, fearing that the expected baby could have been the result of a greater dalliance at the office party than her husband had initially let on, confronted him again. This time she refused to let him wriggle off the hook, and he was forced to own up that he had indeed had a 'one-off' sexual fling with his colleague.
Fearing that it might end his marriage, he again tried to mitigate his wrong by telling his wife that he’d been more ’foolish’ than ‘adulterous’. He spun his wife a tale about offering his female colleague a bit of comfort and consolation after hearing that her mother was seriously ill. He said that after his attempt to comfort his female colleague who became tearful, she obviously misread his honest intentions, kissed him fulsomely, and later that evening ‘came on to him’. He argued that being almost drunk at the time, before he knew it, they were ‘at it’ in a back room of the Probation Office building. He begged his wife’s forgiveness, but she refused to be bamboozled by her husband’s boozy sob story.
The month after their final confrontation, his wife walked out and left him. Fortunately, there had been no children born to their union. For months after his wife had left, he was depressed. He said that it was like his world had fallen in on itself. The only love of his life had been his first wife, and he said that no other woman in his life thereafter could ever compare with. He added though that he had emotionally moved on with his life and had got over her.
Despite being an intelligent person, however, my work colleague appeared to be in a state of massive denial. This man still went to the same place every year on his holidays, which just happened to be the place up in the Lake District (Windemere) where he and his first wife had spent their honeymoon. Also, he would celebrate special occasions with all of his many ladies, dining out at his favourite Greek restaurant in Leeds, where he and his first wife would often eat out during their courtship days.
Now, all couples have ‘their own special song’ which reminds them of their happiest time together, and so did my work colleague and his first wife. The only difference between himself and most other men who have had many relationships though was that whereas a change of loving partner usually brings with it a change in the ‘special song’ shared with the new love in his life, in his case, it did not. Because he presumably related this shared song to ‘being in love’, each time he met a new woman who interested him, he would play the same song to her and unknowingly persuade his new partner to like the song and accept it as being ‘their song’. I never asked him if this ‘special song’ (which had been played at his first wedding) had also been played at his second marriage ceremony!
I suspect that there will be many a person who regrets past mistakes made, especially where it led towards the ending of a meaningful and once-loving relationship. I also believe that we are all a bit guilty of unconsciously ‘replaying our past’ from time-to-time with different partners in our lives.
Imagine for one moment the following scenario. Imagine finding an ideal ‘lovers lane location’ which is so isolated, and where another vehicle could not possibly approach without providing the courting couple with three minutes advanced notice; thereby enabling the lovers who are engaged inside their steamed-up car in a passionate coupling, sufficient time to make any necessary readjustments to their clothes before the stranger appears on the scene. Having found such a discreet lover’s location with a former dating partner, in the event of a similar location ever being sought again, with a different dating partner, I wonder how many people would return to the original site?
Love and peace Bill xxx