Love
Granddad Forde and Sheila xxx
My song today is ‘You’ll Never Know’. This song was popular in my youth and I often heard my old friend, Vera Lynn, sing it on the radio. Vera was my mother's favourite singer and she would have been so proud to know that her oldest child (me) and Vera were to become close friends for the last thirty years of Vera's life. The music was written by Harry Warren, and the lyrics were by Mack Gordon. The song is based on a poem written by a young Oklahoma war bride named Dorothy Fern Norris.
The song was introduced in the 1943 film, ‘Hello, Frisco, Hello’, where it was sung by Alice Faye. The song won the 1943 ‘Academy Award for Best Original Song and was among nine songs nominated songs that year. The song is often credited as Faye's signature song. However, Faye never released a record of the ballad, and frequent later recordings of the song by other singers diminished her association with it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We are all acquainted with the saying that “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. Worse still, however, is to have loved someone and never told the other person that you loved them. There are some people, who because of Covid-19 restrictions, have been unable to visit their dying relatives and friends in the hospital during their last hours of life. They sadly never got the opportunity to hold their hand and tell them again before they died how much they were loved and how much they will be missed. Such is the cruellest of all situations I have ever known exist in my life within a supposedly free and democratic country. Whatever the consequential risk was to the loving visitor, that risk and choice ought to have theirs to make, and not some well-meaning official.
I know due to my own personal circumstances that I have been unable to get to see my granddaughter, Olivia, who lives twenty-five miles away since her first year of life. She is growing up so fast, and I do regret not being a part of her early life as all grandparents long to be. She may never know how much I love her, but I know her parents will tell her as she grows older.
During my years as a Probation Officer, I came across too many people who deeply regretted not telling someone close to them that they loved them’. In some situations, such a declaration of love may have been inappropriate, or impractical or even impossible. I will never forget the women prisoners serving life with whom I taught Relaxation Training inside a Wakefield Prison for over a year. Although their offences, for which each of them was sentenced to Life Imprisonment varied enormously, one thing they all shared did not. As a child, none had been told by their parents that they were loved and/or believed they were loved and grew into adulthood without feeling any self-love.
I have also known so many people of my age or who were born prior to the ‘Second World War’ or were reared during the ‘Second World War’ when most men foolishly never allowed themselves to be emotionally expressive in public, and whose tendency was to maintain 'a stiff upper lip'. Such men returned from the war to civilian life, and never spoke about their war experiences and the terrible things they had witnessed as a soldier to another soul for the rest of their lives. It was their custom to bottle up their feelings and leave them unexpressed. The tremendous harm that this practice of maintaining the stiff upper lip caused was felt by so many generations of children and wives, whose fathers and husbands could never bring themselves to utter the words. “I love you”.
Many parents, spouses, partners assume their children, marriage partners and loved ones know that they love them because they do. And even if we sense that we are loved by parents, lovers and marriage partners, each of us still needs the reassurance of being told so every now and then. There is something magically in looking directly in the eyes of another and hearing them say, ”I love you!”
Each time, my wife goes out shopping without me, or vice versa, we always give each other a kiss and tell the other, “I love you'. God forbid that one day either of us would leave the house quite innocently and be knocked down and instantly killed by a passing car as we crossed the road. I have known so many bereaved people who never got that final chance to tell their loved ones that they were loved. They may have told them so many times, but the simple truth is, when we know it is truly meant and is not merely being trotted out, it always sounds as sweet to our ears, and we can never hear it too often.
Just in case, when my time comes, and I die peacefully in my sleep and I do not have the opportunity to write my post on Facebook the following morning, know this. “I love you” and I loved living every minute of my life. I suspect that the two are inseparable. That is why I always sign off my posts to you all with 'Love and peace Bill xxx’.
Love and peace
Bill xxx