Today’s song is ‘Faithfully’. This song was a song by American rock band ‘Journey’ and the second single from their album ‘Frontiers’. It was released in April,1983. The song was written by keyboardist Jonathan Cain. It peaked at Number 12 on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’, giving the band their second consecutive top-twenty hit from ‘Frontiers’. Despite featuring no chorus, it has gone on to become one of the band's most recognizable hits and has enjoyed lasting popularity. In a Classic Rock article, ‘Faithfully’ was called ‘the greatest power ballad of all time’.
Cain wrote this song about the difficulty of being a married man as well as a touring musician. Soon after the song's release, he and his wife divorced.
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At the time this song came out I was separated from my wife and two children and I was embroiled in an acrimonious divorce and custody and access case. I was also very angry with my brother, Patrick at the time for not informing me that for nine months previously, my wife had been having an affair with a man who lived across from him despite having demanded from me that we separate. I also felt cheated as I had stood by my wife for many years despite her inability to relate maternally to our two sons of the marriage.
Looking back over my entire life, only once during it have, I been unfaithful, and that was a one-off occasion. At all other times between the ages of 15 years to the present day (I am now two months away from my 77th birthday), I have never two timed a woman or been unfaithful in action outside an ongoing relationship. I willingly acknowledge that for eight years between 15-23 years I behaved as I would never settle down to one relationship, but in my defence, I would say that I never entered any relationship during those years when I wasn’t 100% ‘up front’ with any woman I was involved with by not informing them from the very first date that I had no intention of settling down and was not in the market for any long-term or emotionally involved relationships.
I suppose that I could have been accurately described as being the male match to ‘the good-time girl’. All I wanted from life was to have a good time while I was young enough to enjoy it fully; and to that end, I must confess to having been highly successful. I have done many good, some bad and a few questionable things during my courting youth, and it would entirely hypocritical of me to say that I regretted any (except for one insensitive moment of mine). All my relationships with the opposite sex (apart from my first wife) ended with us both remaining life-long friends who were grateful for the time we spent together, both in and out of love.
I have often been asked (especially when I worked as a marriage guidance counsellor or a probation officer) if my partner was known to have been unfaithful to me with another man, could I have found it in my heart to forgive her? I would honestly have to say that I don’t know but strongly suspect that my forgiveness might be dependent on several factors. For example; were they impaired at the time (via alcohol, festive office party, one-off loss of temptation of allowing a seemingly innocent kiss by an office colleague to go too far, or was it a one-night stand during a moment of emotional upset and sheer physical desire?} Was it a one-off incident or was it an affair which lasted months or years while one or both of you were married throughout? Was it during your engagement (pre-marriage) or after you were newly married? Did it happen when your wife was pregnant with your child, or when you were in your mid-fifties, after all your children had flown the nest and your marital relationship left much to be desired and was probably unable of ever being resurrected again to satisfactory proportions?
What I do know is that people are unfaithful at the most bizarre of occasions. Through my many decades of working with the broken relationships of people who once loved each other, I have known of people who had sex with another on their bachelor/ hen night out and even on their honeymoon! I have heard of bereaved men and women having sex on the very day that their marriage partner was being buried, after the ceremony and the return to their house for a round of sandwich sympathy and a few free drinks. I have known men and women be unfaithful with the marriage partners of their brothers and sisters, and I once worked with a man from Holmfirth who had developed a sexual relationship with his son’s wife and would meet up regularly with her when his son worked on the night shift.
Whoever is doing the screwing, there is one thing we can be certain of. Once the bottle of fidelity has been uncapped, it can never go back to its original state of being! Once the Genie has been let out of the bottle, it cannot be put back in!
While I cannot say with certainty how I would respond this late in my life to finding out my partner was unfaithful, I can say that it would be the deceit involved, the abuse of trust I had invested in our relationship and a sense of betrayal of our marriage vows that would matter more to me than the sheer giving of her body to another man. I’d also have to honestly admit an inner prejudice of mine that would lead me to be more hurt if I learned it had been a woman she had been unfaithful with as opposed to a man. I could compete against a man to win her back, but it would be a no-contest if I had to do battle with a woman competitor!
I dedicate my song today to my Facebook friend, Nadia Joy, who lives in Paris, France and who works at Chanel. I have always been a person concerned with art, fashion, photography, design and all manner of images. I have and will always remain a sucker for admiring a beautiful woman in a sensuous pose. There has never been a day since I first befriended Nadia (with whom I personally know little and have never extensively communicated with) when I have failed to check out her Facebook page. When it comes to the sheer elegance of dress and the height of womanly fashion, you need not sit among the audience of the world’s most famous fashion shows to excite your senses. All that is required is to gaze at the natural beauty that Nadia brings out in her images and which she shares with all. I remain enthralled by the sheer beauty and untainted sexuality and sensuousness of the poses and postures she captures in her lenses’ eye.
Thank you for being my Facebook friend, Nadia and thank you for bringing images of beauty into my daily life. Have a good day. Love Bill x
Love and peace Bill xxx