I dedicate my song today to my wife, Sheila, in gratitude of all the love and care she gives me.
I also jointly dedicate my song today to Martha Fitzgerald from Carrick-on-Suir in County Tipperary. Martha celebrates her birthday today and is the proud mother of daughter, Lauren, and the loving daughter of my dear friend, Lena Fitzgerald. Have a lovely birthday, Martha.
I also jointly dedicate my song today to George Minett who also celebrates his birthday today. I grew up with George for most of my youth on Windybank Estate. George was a member of the Windybank gang and the very first of the lads to buy a Teddy Boy suit. The suit was Canary Yellow and thereafter, George’s presence never once went unnoticed.
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I attend Leeds Hospital at 7:30am this morning to have a malignant cancer removed from my neck. My operation will be undertaken by cancer consultant and surgeon, Mr Liddington (who will be assisted in the operation by cancer consultant and surgeon, Jenny Goodenough). Jenny removed a malignant skin cancer from my forehead towards the end of 2019. Like all operations, this secondary cancer in my neck carries the usual risks; especially having it performed under a full anaesthetic with my damaged heart. This will be the sixth operation I have undergone during the past twelve months for three different cancers plus one shoulder replacement; each one involving a full anaesthetic, plus twenty sessions of radiotherapy to follow up. All previous full-anaesthetic operations have carried their usual risks with a man of my age and heart disposition but have left me feeling okay afterwards. Their length, however, have never been as long as this operation, which is scheduled to last between three and a half up to four hours.
Given the location of my neck cancer (immediately adjacent to my ear, facial cheek and throat), this operation is the most serious one I will have had over the past year. It will last between three and a half to four hours; an extremely long time for anyone, and obviously more dangerous for a person of my age with my already weakened heart and a terminal blood cancer condition. After the cancer has been removed from my neck, a drainage channel will need to be cut out down my neck towards my throat which will leave a facial depression /and some necessary scaring disfigurement. All my salivary glands will need to be removed down the right-hand-side of my neck, leaving me to digest my food thereafter from only one half of my mouth (I don’t know if that means my food will only taste half as good or take twice as long to swallow and digest?). All tissue around the nerves will also be removed. Because my neck cancer is too close to my ear, an ear nerve will need to be severed and that will leave me with a permanent numb ear. I will still be able to hear out of it but will have no feeling sensation if I touch it (I wonder if this means it will never itch again and therefore will never again require scratching). Because the neck cancer is too close to an upper shoulder nerve, I have been informed in advance that I will permanently lose some more of the limited shoulder mobility I presently have. After the operation, I have been told that one side of my face will drop (like someone who has experienced a stroke) but should eventually return to a more natural position in time. Oh, and I shaved my beard off for the operation one week ago. It feels strange after wearing it for fifty-five years. I understand that I will need to remain clean shaven for a couple of months while I receive twenty or more radiotherapy sessions to mop up any cancer that may be missed and still lurking around.
So, it looks like I will also have to wear a large scarf around my neck when I next sing my daily songs, as well as a cowboy hat to cover my head scars from my last operation. I hope this operation doesn’t affect my ability to sing; not that I have any pretentions of still being a good singer in my old age, but because my daily singing practice gives me so much pleasure as well as improving my lungs and increasing the oxygenation in my blood.
I should be an hospital inpatient for several days, all being well. This is probably the part I least look forward to, as hospitals are the easiest place in the world for older people like me with virtually no immune system to contract cold and bugs from other patients or staff, especially during winter months where Coronavirus is fast spreading across the world. Also, after Sheila’s heavenly cooking, I just cannot/will not eat hospital food. So, apart from a few slices of toast daily, it looks like I’ll be on a three/four-day fast. Come to think of it, with only half a mouthful of salivary glands remaining, it will probably take me three days to digest and swallow one slice of toast?
Given the terminal nature of the blood cancer I have had since early 2013, it is a major characteristic of my blood cancer condition (CLL) that I will always contract cancer in one of my major body organs periodically as my life progresses. It is impossible for me to remain cancer free in the future as cancerous blood continues to flow freely around my major body organs.
It is a guaranteed certainty that one of these future cancers that I contract will eventually kill me off, if my absence of an effective immune system doesn’t do so first by contracting a cold, bug, infection or a virus from another person nearby.
However, I have always held a sense of destiny and this leads me to believe that each of us have some inner feeling when our time on earth is up. It pleases me greatly to tell you that I have no such pending feeling as I go under this anaesthetic today. I remain as positive as ever that my time has not yet arrived. Besides, I have still too much to do and too many songs yet to learn and sing. We have an allotment to tidy up after all the storms of the past few months, and there are still bags of new potatoes to plant, grow and eat; and I still have a tour of Ireland to with Sheila this summer.
I place great store in my faith and a belief in God and in the power of prayer. For this reason, I welcome your continued prayers for me and Sheila, and your thoughts for our wellbeing today.
I dedicate my song today to my beautiful wife, Sheila, who has ‘lit up my life’ ever since she first entered it in 2010. I love you Sheila Forde xxx
And, not forgetting the birthday celebrations of Martha Fitzgerald from Carrick-on-Suir in County Tipperary today. Have a lovely day, Martha. xxx
Love and peace Bill xxx