"When I was young and I first heard one woman tell another that she was 'going through the change', I wondered if she meant that she was changing her job, house or husband! Menopause was a subject that had not yet registered in my brain, and until the 1970s raising the issue of female menopause was a taboo conversation in any mixed social circles. Indeed, the comedian, the late Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough acted out the roles of Cissie Braithwaite and Ada Shufflebottom. These two characters became much loved for their realistic parody of the times. Barraclough's character, Cissie had pretensions of refinement and corrected Ada's malapropisms or vulgar expressions. Representing authentic characters of their day they spoke some words out aloud, but mouthed others, particularly those pertaining to bodily functions, sex and 'women's troubles'.
There are, however, many changes that some dissatisfied and unfulfilled women could productively have; changes that they have a choice in instead of those that result in them coming down with the hot flushes.
Have you ever had one of those days when nothing has gone to plan and you haven't had the time to take a pee? Don't despair because help is at hand. Rinse out your mop, sit yourself down on your bucket and take in three deep breaths; then count to ten and resolve to do something about it. Now, doesn't that make you feel much better?
Now seek out the gaffer and tell him that you don't feel you were destined for the job of a cleaner and general dog's body. Just because you married a Mr Mopp or a Basil Brush only makes you one in name only.
Look your boss straight in the eye and in your boldest of voices tell him, 'Stick your job Buster where the sun don't shine. Come next Monday, I'm off down to the Job Centre and see if there are any of those fashion model jobs going. Or I might go back to Night School and become a teacher, a doctor or a barrister. My body and brains are as good as the next girl's, so pick up a brush and clean your own floors and lavatory!'
Now, doesn't that make you feel better?
It always seems impossible to do until it's done and then you think, 'Why did I wait so long to seek change?' And even if your change doesn't entirely work out as you planned/hoped it would still remind yourself that even when you fall on your face, you still move forward. My mother often told me as a child when I promised to do something but didn't, 'Billy Forde, well done is better than well said!' Mum always believed, like, Mr Micawber, the clerk in Charles Dickens's 1850 novel, 'David Copperfield', that 'something would always turn up.'
'Leap for your dreams and the net will appear' was her motto of blind faith in self and others. I have found in my life to date that when one acts as if what one does make a difference, it usually does!
So remember that neither reputation nor self-respect can ever be built on 'what you are going to do'. Opportunities are never nebulous happenings that appear from the blue; you create them. Often success is down to making the right decision as to what to do next because it is only when you stop chasing the wrong things in life that you give the right things a chance to catch up with you. Mum used to tell me, 'Billy, God didn't place us on this earth to have a cushy life. Life is hard and you have to work at it if you want it to work for you'. She was so right, and when one thinks about it, the only place where 'success' comes before 'work' is in the dictionary,
When I was a teenager, the confidence that mum instilled in me essentially made me fearless where facing life and truth were concerned. In the years that followed I discovered that everything one wants out of life can usually be found on the other side of fear. So my simple advice is to always start where you are, use what you have and do what you can as well as you can do it. Such a positive approach to life will act as a good first rung on the ladder of success.
I will end today's post with a quotation from the Chinese Philosopher, Lau Tzu who gave each of us the secret of flight when he said, 'When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.' So do what you feel you want to/have to do and at the end of the day, whatever the outcome, let there be no excuses, no explanations and no regrets, as the greatest thief of future happiness has always been permanent regret."
Love and peace Bill xxx