"We hear a great deal about 'sex appeal' today as if it is something one can acquire. Young girls are grown into womanhood in a man-made garden, falsely believing that the more she can look sexy, the greater the likelihood that men will find her more attractive and desirable. Consequently, too much concern is given to outward appearance in which weight, hair style, dress and female comportment plays a part.
By seeking to shape themselves in ways that please men's eyes, too many women foolishly engage in a Faustian pact in which they are prepared to sell their soul to the Devil in exchange, not for physical perfection, but superficial beauty and shallow emotion. By acting thus they may improve their prospects in the dating field and marriage stakes, but they remain destined never to discover their own individuality. Instead of discarding their bras in protest, they choose instead to abandon their brains and allow their future self to be defined and validated by the prevailing whim of a man's changing desire. I'd love to tell them that sleeping around is a great way of meeting people, and knowing none.
I am not against either man or woman doing things to please the other providing the act is done out of love and not coercion. As a man, I freely acknowledge that nobody loves to see a beautiful woman more than myself and I admit that a large part of the initial attraction may be born of physical desire. Where I know I differ these days to those earlier years, however, is that I could never see myself adoring the body of a woman or being married to one today, without first having lived in comfortable cohabitation with her mind and ever closer union with her soul. In many ways, I recognise that my present love for a woman has made me a more selfish man than before. I am content with all I have today and am too happy to entertain the thought of ever sharing my love of Sheila with another woman, having found the crock of gold at the end of my rainbow in my 70th year of life.
Sex appeal is something that means many different things to many men. What turns one man on can turn off another. To me, just as beauty is inwardly housed by the owner and naturally comes out in all their other character traits, sex appeal also resides in the inner sanctum of unknowing womanhood. Once I became aware of the distinction between a sexy woman and a seductive woman, I started looking for innocence instead of physical temptation to satisfy my senses. I learned that a sexy woman is someone who knows the thoughts inside a man's head. She knows because she put them there, whereas a seductive woman with sex appeal isn't even aware that she is being admired. A seductive woman with sex appeal doesn't require the prop of the bedroom to prove her womanliness. She can be just as fetching standing in the rain or getting a book from the shelf.
Women who have sex appeal have it unknowingly. The type of woman who seduces me is a woman who doesn't know she is seductive. She is imbued with an innocence of thought and feeling which is blended with her purity of intent. The very essence of her nature which makes her seductive is my belief that our life together begins at the end of her comfort zone and the start of my restraint.
In some ways, I met my Sheila at a time in life when sexual contact was still pleasurable, but companionship with another's soul offered greater satisfaction and eternal reward. My terminal cancer and two extensive courses of aggressive chemotherapy had the side effect of leaving me with the desire to make love without the means of physically satisfying it. Because my condition totally suppresses my immune system, I have found it necessary to join the ranks of royalty and the upper classes who no longer sleep in the same bed as their spouse and instead pay them a visit from time to time. In fact, to be wholly truthful, it has now been so long that I've forgotten who ties up whom!" William Forde: September 23rd, 2017