"There is a wildness of beauty to be found in the unbridled passion of one's entry into adulthood. For some, it is a thing of danger where feelings are rampant and all reason is devoid of second thought. The experience can sometimes be so good that both parties know it can never be repeated; hence they have no need to exchange names and addresses. All recollection will remain an indelible memory to be kept separate from all other experiences and never bunched.
I grew up into adulthood well before my time, but it was not until I developed a liking for the older woman that I truly discovered how a person can come to lose their mind in the maelstrom of sensual madness. I recall during my early twenties being attracted to women aged thirty, and in particular, being aware of the differences in their expectations once their feelings were stirred to the edge of excitement. It wasn't so much that they were far more experienced in affairs of the heart; just that they were far better acquainted with worldly matters, full stop! I soon realised that to continue down this path of self-enlightenment was highly dangerous for a young man of unbridled passion who possessed a raw wildness that both attracted and partly frightened in equal measure, especially as there was no way of knowing if they were married unless they told you so.
And so, from thereon in, I pursued a much safer course, dating only women who were always younger than me and preferably single. I was almost forty years old before I started to settle down into the resemblance of a respectable married man who had stopped yearning for the return of his youthful years of wild abandonment. Between the ages of forty and seventy, each year has seen a gradual decline in the degree of visual, physical and psychological stimulation my body requires to keep it sensually alive, especially since I had two heart attacks thirteen years ago.
While I still find it easy to rest my eyes on beautiful women, I no longer have the need to look twice or as long when they happen to pass by and have long since been able to detach my sight from any fleeting mental thoughts. I have been helped in this process tremendously through my increased love of art, music, pictures, imagery, and in particular, writing romantic stories, along with a few 'strictly for adult' novels. It is as though, through the process of transference, I have been able to express all of the feelings I have continued to hold through my love of writing, instead of unhealthily suppressing them. Through both the words and deeds of the characters in my published romantic stories that I now write, I am still able to feel and flirt with all the thoughts and emotions that I've always felt and still act out my feelings vicariously, whilst remaining true to self.
I now know why so many famous artists of the past were Lotharios, frequenters of dens of iniquity and visitors of women of the night. I can now see more easily why many became gurus to the young, were constantly attracted to married women of their social circles, and remained forever hopeless romantics. Paradoxically, one may need to be a sinner before sainthood beckons. Perhaps it is only after one has trod the path of lower morals, that one is better positioned to express those that are found on a higher plane?" William Forde: October 23rd, 2016.